Why is it that whenever I remember something good in my life, start laughing or end up being happy for even a second that my mind cuts it off and reminds me that I want to end my life? Surely I'm not alone with this?
I have this as well, I'm pretty sure it's a form of obsessive compulsive disorder. Any happiness immediately triggers the fixation.
>>27248182
All these memories of a once happy life and brief glimpses of hope are what would keep me going but I still can't shake the suffering from my mind and the urge to die. I need to do something about it but I'm so stuck in this hole that I'm not sure where to start digging
>>27248331
CBT would help you, obviously.
>>27248346
I guess it's hard for me since my job requires me to have a sound mind and any medical history involving these problems are a swift kick to the road. I guess if I really knew I cared more about living than my job then I'd just get out of it and seek the help I need, but it's a vicious cycle.
>>27248495
It's not illegal for them to disclose those records?
>>27248510
I guess to put it in to perspective, I'm in the military so I have to go through their medical. I can run to anonymous help-lines but because of my position I'd still have to go through military medical to be directed to any real treatment. However, that would disqualify me from my job because it's combat oriented. I guess it's a matter of priorities, because I can stay in and get treatment but I won't be able to carry weapons anymore and at that point I'd still hate my life because I wouldn't be doing the job I actually enjoy.
>>27248160
>watching anime
>"hey man, remember how you were going to kill yourself last night?"
Fuck off brain
>>27248160
It's trying to keep you focused.
Happens to me all the time.
>>27248621
"combat oriented", laffo. Nigger are you in Iraq? If not, why would you care about having a weapons position?
>>27248693
Because it's what I like to do. Yeah, nevermind, let's take away the last thing that pushes me to get better at anything in my life and see where I stand.
>>27248346
cock and ball torture would help him?
>>27248827
Are you infantry? 11B? 0311? Non SOF dont get to see any combat these days though.
