What are some dark and melancholy musings you robots have thought up these days?
I have a couple of friends who i care about and who at least pretend to care about me so i would feel like a bit of a dick if i just kill myself
They have spent lots of time to try and make me happy or maybe for something else idk what and i think i probably mean something to them and would genuinely upset them if i an hero
Maybe they do it out of pity or they just bored but whatever
So i spend a lot of time thinking of ways to go without upsetting them
Like if i pretend to get them to fight each other hopefully they will realise and dislike me and i can sneak away
I don't fucking know
I spend a lot of time thinking about it but it doesn't necessarily mean i came up with any good ideas
>>27248543
How come you want to kill yourself?
Why do people have to suffer so much all the time?
>>27248561
Dunno i had a lot of shit in my life and there are good moments but i don't think that waiting for good outweighs current negative
Im on constantly increasing doses of medication for all sorts and i was going to get some time off next year to sort all my shit out but i probably wont be able to afford it
I have been looking forward to it for over a year and it was the only thing that kept me going
The idea that i could be normal
But i haven't really accepted that its not going to happen and don't know how i feel about it
Right now i feel very little but im pretty sure i should feel suicidal again so im just getting ready i guess haha
>>27248591
It's God's (or Nature's) will.
>>27247981
Should kill myself.
I have no idea where my life is going.
I hate my career path. Despite some success with it, I feel like a failure and the deeper I get into it the more I hate it. I want to live alone, work some shit job, and play vidya whenever I'm free, but I'll disappoint everyone if I do that. :( I feel like I can't win.
Grift Syner -really good black metal album
>>27248724
How old are you, fellow robot?
>>27248782
24
originalino
I dont want to have any close person because i have toxic and rotten personality. Therefore i'm rationalizing that i'm saving them from getting involved with myself.
I'm slowly realizing that i'm not suited for dating social life - i'm just completely clueless in a way i know shit ton of things theoretically but practically i'm spilling spaghetti like it's national Italy holiday.
I want off this ride.
I want to kill myself but I can't shake the image of my mom finding the note. I'm sure most of you have seen the gif where the kid shoots himself in front of his parents. I can just visualize her collapsing next to my desk. I can't do it like that.
>>27248807
Hey man if it makes you feel better I'm the same age and I am >>27248759
I feel the same way though - I don't think you should kill yourself however. Is there anything you enjoy doing with your time? Are you doing anything now like going to school or working?
>>27247981
I want to kill myself and others i'm fucking losing it I enjoy hurting myself I want to die I belong in a fucking mental hospital
im burned out
in every aspect
i see no point in getting up in the morning
i dont know honestly
>>27248862
I'm on the beginning of my third year on university. I picked it out of desperation to take anything because I was already 21 and had done nothing while most of the people I knew as friends from high school were all probably already graduating and finding jobs. I dislike my field and the prospects of what the near and distant future in life have for me. I also have literally no friends and actively hate almost every single human being that exists around me, seeing only the problems that they cause onto others. I won't kill myself, but the thought races through my head more often than not and on a daily basis. No, there's nothing that I enjoy doing.
Nobody is actually happy, they just distract themselves as much as possible and conjure up fake reasons as to why they are happy. The only real difference between a neet/loser and a "normie" is no easy access to distractions.
It's more of an experience, than a thought. But next time you get high think about how we live in a deterministic universe and have no free will, then you will begin to notice how all of your unconscious actions happen based upon stimuli. When you listen to music you will realize your thoughts are entirely determined by the beat, when you move your arm you realize you are only an observer and have no real control over your own thoughts and actions.
>>27247981
where did you find this image
what is it
>>27248960
Hey! I'm in a similar boat again. Second year of grad school and I'm finding out now, after 5 and a half years of studying this, I don't want to do it as a career. I'm sorry you hate everyone though. :( At least you are committed to doing something, and you can change your future from there if you dislike it. Either way, I really hope things work out and you start feeling better. :) I know I'm a random fuck on the internet you've never met and we may never talk again outside of this thread, but just know at least now I am thinking about you and hoping the best for you, even if you hate me haha.
>>27248847
I'd like to see it if you or anyone else has it
>>27249056
seconded
for reasons
>>27248591
Scarcity is an inherent property of the universe, and without it evolution would have never occurred in any meaningful way, and definitely wouldn't have evolved brains.
Scarcity is the primary external cause of suffering, but without it you wouldn't exist. So due to the anthropic principle we as humans must live in a universe with scarcity, because we wouldn't have existed in any other.
>>27249056
>>27249071
I feel like I should call my mom and just vent and tell her about all the shit I want to kill myself maybe she could help me
>>27249092
I've done that several times and it's embarrassing and no real help can ever come - YOU are the problem, you don't have a problem, therefore nobody can assist with it.
>>27249112
is it worth a try I feel like I'm gonna try to kill myself again... I hate this fucking feeling i'm fucking sick of wanting to die and trying to die and failing
>>27249205
I just gave up trying to fix myself after years of trying, it's relaxing because I'm not trying to fight myself anymore and I can feel some of my pain let go. Maybe you should do that too.
sometimes I catch myself thinking "I wish my mom was dead so I could kill myself" and then I realize what I'm thinking and start crying
I always think "what would happen if I touched this girls ass" every time I see a girl. Im scared one of these days I might actually do it
>be most humans
>be led on by a promising hook to the storyline that is life and a swarm of feel good neurotransitters and the newness of everything that comes with being a child
>bad things start happening, but that's okay, because if I try hard enough I can make good things happen
>even if you do, you can't escape the growing awareness that you're a walking fleshbag living in a world built from the ground up by one organism greedily consuming the next- and running in fear from others who would inflict the same fate on it
>even if you do, you can't escape the growing awareness that the effort required to make things "good" is insanely disproportional to how "good" you actually can make things
We're just a shitty flesh heap clammering for some weird tangle of far-off ideals that we only truly understood as children, anyway. Like the fact we're even removed from them is itself unnatural. Apparently it's the most natural thing there is...
>>27247981
when i die i forget everything and stop existing so it doesn't matter whatever i do. then people say, live for happiness, but i consider how happiness is just a chemical push that our mind delivers to influence our behavior for survival, like machines we're doomed to simply act out our programming for no reason at all until our machinery breaks down
Why does everyone want to kill themselves on this board?
>>27249035
Google image search.
Abandoned buildings in Hong Kong.
>>27249628
explaining this would be like describing a color you've never seen, or a taste you haven't tasted.. its why i cant talk about my feelings with normies. you just won't get it unless you're there yourself
>>27249724
I actually understand what you mean by that. I have a lot of anxiety issues but I drilled it into my head years ago that suicide is never an option. Guess I've just never reached that point where life is that bad.
How I go, suicide or not doesn't really matter, but the very idea of life after death (paradise/reincarnation, whatever) terrifies me, as unlikely as I may find it. If there is a hell, that's all it needs to be for me. Nothing would crush me as much as finding out, that instead of an ending, eternity awaits.
we can't know the nature of god until we are dead, but the nature of god only matters while we're not dead
