Anyone else /empty/?
>>27240534
I feel it some days but today I just feel angry
I'm filled with food now 2bh.
>>27240547
I feel like nothing will ever make me feel satisfied or happy, I don't know what to do, it's like sadness but hidden somewhere deep under my skull.
>>27240588
I can relate to that even when almost felt it that feeling left too seems unachievable
https://youtu.be/xiCc_mFXD3E
How I'm feeling right now
>>27240616
I feel what my brothers feel. There was So much promise in the past, so much bliss, maybe even happiness. But it's all gone now, a vacuum left in my soul, imploding onto itself
https://youtu.be/RrkzIN2eP0U
>>27240654
I remember last time I was fulfilled:
>3 years old me
>running through golden crops in my home village
>with my Mom and my best friend 4 year old girl
>that girl was the first and the only one I ever kissed
I can recall how I felt then, it was a bliss, I could feel beauty of the world with my senses.
Now I'm an empty shell, apathetic towards everything and everyone.
>>27240748
The feels. The only thing that gives me a small amount of feeling is nostalgia. Vidya nostalgia gives me pain, of a time unrepeatable, but the weather, sometimes it reminds me of how I felt when I was young. The freedom, the carelessness, when the days were long. I still remember the days where I cried myself to sleep, reassuring that I wasn't loved, that I'll be alone forever. Some of us were doomed from the start it seems
>>27240798
The worst is that I know, no matter what will I achieve, how much money will I earn, what car will I drive, how great woman will I get. I will never feel that childish bliss again - it's gone forever.
>>27240878
Now can one lose grasp on happiness? What happened to us? I see pictures of young my smiling, but now I can't voluntarily smile. All my pictures are me straight faced now, something went wrong, and I can't fix it
>>27240547
This
Perpetually angry
>>27240534
Reporting in lads
>>27240903
Man I can relate to this so much. It fucking hurts.
>>27240934
Welcome my brother in pain.
>>27240934
Welcome, share your empty feels, bump so we can embrace our lonely brethren
>>27240944
These true robot feels, why do they exist? Why must people like us be created to suffer? Have you ever felt happy anon? I can't remember if I have. All I remember are experiences, there are no positive emotions attached to them. I graduated HS, I went for a walk on the beach, I played some vidya, whatever, it doesn't spark anything in me.
>>27240559
>2bh
i love you anon-kun
>>27241011
i was happy for about 8 years but that ended 10 years ago this past wednesday
lately i wish it never happened so i wouldn't know what i'm missing
>>27241011
Only my very early childhood, so first 3-4 years of my life. Then my parents got divorced.
>>27241047
Ignorance is bliss, I wish we all were as ignorant and egotistical as normies. We would have some armor against this harsh world
another weekend getting drunk alone in my room in my mommys house weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>27241070
Only armor I have left is cynicism and apathy.
>>27241061
Who else /divorced parents/ here? I was 10 I believe. I remember that old house vividly... I also know is was a rushed child, forced an early immigration and whatnot. Ah, such is life, I bet those starving Africans don't feel as empty as us
>>27241088
I have no armor left, maybe I'm too self aware, or I care too much about things and overthink, whatever the reason everything hurts. Why life like this?
>>27241120
As I said, my parents got divorced when I was 3 years old, I moved with my mom to grandparents, since then I've seen my father maybe a couple of times. He was a bit of a drunk and lazy, he lost all interest in me, never contacted with me. He never even paid child support on me as far as I know, my mother had to work her ass of in two jobs six days a week and take care of my first sick grandfather and when he passed my grandmother who got badly ill. Man, my mom is really a saint. I will never be able to repay her for all that. Now, my grandparents are dead my mom got married again with my stepfather he is a great guy, he learned me how to be a men, I wish he appeared in my life earlier.
>>27241225
Read some Camus (The Myth of Sisyphus essay), it helps me to cope with that feel.
Yep, no longer see motivation to go on
>>27240798
>but the weather, sometimes it reminds me of how I felt when I was young
Sometimes I'll just lay outside on a sunny day (or a cool and breezy night) and just let the ambiance carry me away
I want to just disappear into it but I never can
>>27241234
Sucks man, will you ever feel fulfilled? Is there a chance for you?
>>27241272
OK, thanks
>>27241701
Every time, but the day only has 24 hours, and the weather has even less
>>27241897
I have no idea. I'm trying to find a way, I read a lot of philosophy.
It's great to talk with you Anons, it's almost as if I had a real friend.
>>27242122
Yah, it was nice sharing the feels for once. This board had less and less of these threads these days, always going after "fembots" and porn. It's good to revel in some feels time and time again
>>27242122
Anons are better than having a friend unless you're a normalshit. Someone really fucked up can't be happy with a friend. Because their friend will always be better than them. They'll be praised and worshiped, with amazing social skills, while you'll just be a hollow, shrinking husk of a human being.
>>27242122
Agreed. /r9k/ will be the last board I say goodbye to before I kill myself. I'd stream it for /b/ for old times sake but I don't want to become a meme.
>>27240798
The current spring weather brings me a lot of nostalgia for the old times. It's funny, it makes me happy, but I don't know why, I'm just reminded of joyful times that I can't have again.
>>27242188
I hat all those fembot, tfw no gf, eternal virgin threads it's the same shit over and over again. They don't see that losing virginity or getting a gf won't satisfy them. It all just covers the real reasons of our pain.
>>27242193
I don't feel inferior around normies, I just can't relate in anyway with them, their problems. They really bore me.
>>27242261
Getting friends, a decent job and sex would definitely reduce my depression though. The depression is just a symptom of having a pathetic fucking life.
Depression = symptom
Depression from chemical imbalance alone = meme
>>27240534
>trying to think about what you want, where you want to go, or what you want to do
>trying to an invent a fantasy world where you could be content
>literally can't think of anything
Yup, I'm empty
>>27242327
>Depression from chemical imbalance alone = meme
Don't be so sure. There are many people who have job, friends, sex etc, but they feel empty and depressed.
>>27242327
yeah, but being depressed makes it much harder, it's like the worse you are at a game the harder it gets, fucking unfair
Reporting in. It's not like rewatching Haruhi has helped how I felt either.
My life is empty and I loathe every godforsaken second of it. These feelings of neverending loneliness and ennui are exactly that, neverending. No matter what I do, I will never satisfy my desire for some kind of raison d'etre. This has meant nothing. I don't even know why I post feels anymore. Nobody even responds. Everyone here is too full of themselves to care about another persons feels. You would only reply if there was something that intrigued you. I may as well write in a diary.
>>27242358
>fantasy world where you could be content
Every night I think about it.
>>27240534
Usually, but today I'm both uneasy + angry.
>>27242370
They aren't depressed, just confused or a bit gloomy.
I read an article today in one of my country's (online) papers about a Stacy slut who claimed to have "spring depression", and another one who claimed to be bipolar for a few days per cycle. The latter said she was so thankful though because her boyfriend was so supportive. Do you think those two would claim to be depressed 100 years ago? Nope. Because it wouldn't make them feel special back then.
In other words it's a meme.
>>27242425
Come up with anything good?
It's either emptiness or anger when I'm sober.
>>27241083
Stop it. End the cycle and do something different today. Go read a book in the library or something. Go drink in your local dive bar. Go see a movie. Maybe do a couple of games at the local bowling alley.
>>27242420
I'm listening.orehinale
>>27242193
Can confirm. Guess who was the silent kid sitting in the corner (sometimes literally) when there were random discussions happening at school? Pic is when some Stacy decided to invite me over to a NYE thing. I just sat there, surrounded by people who wouldn't notice me, laughing, sharing their lives, feeling happy. It was terrible but I couldn't find a good reason to just get up and leave. Then Stacy had the gall to tell me "you did enough socializing, it was good". Was it? Was being ignored by the very person who invited me here good socializing? Also on that day I realized that I was worse than Stacy at borderlands. My aim is bad because I don't have good fine motor control, like she does with her drawing skills and whatever. Thanks for breaking down the last wall I had, albeit it was already crumbling
>>27242197
Same here brother, I'll see you in whatever comes next
>>27242248
Iktf, it's an odd feeling, like a rush of childhoods past
>>27242261
Sometimes it's all just attention seeking and normies ridiculing. Although loneliness does suck. I don't want sex, just someone to hold and care for, someone to reciprocate my feelings. But will I actually feel happy? Will it make me feel good and have a purpose in life? I doubt it (yet I still long for it... Nature plz). One time I knew a " fembot" and she opened up to me about her life, and I just felt more empty and...bad inside. She had a bf, she had sex before, she had passions, intellect, life goals, the ability to enjoy life. That one person I thought I could resonate with, happened to just be another normie... It really hurt since I tried to mold myself after her and couldn't. One time she 100%ed a game I let her borrow, and I couldn't play the game ever since, it pained me too much to see that she had the determination to 100%, and I'm just a passionless husk. I don't play videogames anymore now, they just remind me of the emptiness in my life, the passionlessness, the worthlessness. Sorry for the story.
>>27242513
I don't need your fake ears. Let me wallow in my misery alone.
>>27242629
Ok. It's your call.
>>27242420
There are always people who care, mayby not in your own surroundings or not on this board but they are out there in the world. I too search for a place to post feels and have yet to find it. You'll find something yet, there's a lot of stuff out there to intrigue the human mind.
>>27242496
Not him but sometimes I do this as well. Sometimes I imagine being part of the beta uprising, and how it's formed into a small army of sorts, travelling from country, looting and scooting, even having some political spotlight as they explain why they do this, the problems with society that they have. I image myself as a background helper, someone who explains the situation well, someone who's ideas are heard. Maybe we can change the world, maybe we can prevent others from becoming robots, maybe we can make the world a better place. I don't want others to feel the way we do, I wouldn't wish this on anyone
>>27242420
I was feeling the same way last night. You almost have to write every post as a meme to get a response. Even on /r9k/ there is such a thing as social skills that you have to follow or you're forgotten.
The good thing is it can push me to do other stuff. Shame I have no talent and am afraid of failure.
>>27242507
Try to find a way to break the cycle.
>>27242420
I'll reply by embracing you. No need to explain your experiences if you don't want to, if you feel, we'll feel with you brother
>>27242511
Normalcy shill is right
There's nothing objectively any more meaningful or "better" about doing any of the things she suggests, but it probably will make you feel better... for a little bit
>tfw going outside and doing things is just an excuse for being outside to me
You ever just ride the bus or metro for hours anon? I love doing that shit. Or bike rides. If I weren't already drunk I'd probably give it a go. It really shows how much of our programming is in our heads.
So many busy people everywhere at all times of day, NEETdom is a gift and the shame others inflict on NEETs is wrought out of envy and pride. Don't let them win!
>>27242358
Watch a good fantasy show or simple cartoon like ATLA, you'll create a fantasy world in no time. You just need a good setting.
>>27242473
Trust me, anon, /r9k/ and alike aren't the only ones who are capable of feeling depression. I have to fake everything is alright in front my family and others, some people fake it their entire lives, pretending to be normal and trying to fit in with others, while their existence is insufferable. There are people who change the state each year in order to see if something will change, but nothing will, and their are left feeling empty...
I don't think /r9k/ would claim depression 100 years ago, because that condition would probably be called, what you called others - a bit gloomy and confused.
Those girls are confused, the society is throwing terms at them and they are trying to describe their feelings with what they are presented with. Maybe they're not aware of what they're truly feeling.
>>27242496
I have two types of fantasies, idyllic and anarchistic. Sometimes I dream of a happy home somewhere on a hill with a good wife and couple of smiling children and sometimes I imagine myself as a member of an amoral group raping, killing and looting what's left in somewhat apocalyptic scenery.
>>27242694
No. Nobody cares. If there's one thing I've learned about humanity, it's that all humans are inherently self-serving, be it conscious or subconscious. On r9k, many people at least show their true nature.
>>27242701
It's annoying as all hell.
>>27242758
Whatever.
>>27242809
>I don't think /r9k/ would claim depression 100 years ago, because that condition would probably be called,
Let us examine why this chap is feeling so blue:
>friendless
>virgin
>no work
>no motivation
Dear God this chap is insane! Throw him in the loony bin.
But seriously, I agree that some people actually do have a chemical imbalance and have been mentally ill since birth, but most are just memeing. Depression is usually a symptom of something. Not just /r9k/ reasons thought. It could be the death of your child or something.
>>27242886
My fantasies usually involve matrix shit or some grand deceiver. Either that or the bad guys aren't actually the bad guys- you just never understood them! but then it turns out they actually were the bad guys, then later that they never were all along, but no wait they actually were, etc, forever.
My brain is such a troll but I think it wants to understand ambiguity better
Mystery is where it's at, but it's difficult to create a mystery for yourself. I think I want to live somewhere dark and cyberspooky, but not overtly threatening and depressing like this reality. Where everyone is an individual and has unfathomable but grand motives~
> poor me blah blah
So what are you going to do about it?
>>27243203
My only surviving dream is writing. I'm thinking about pushing a novella this year. But I'm worried people will hate it and what was left of my hopes and aspirations will become dust.
>>27240534
Nietzsche's philosophy is far superior to dull nihilistic philosophy.
My old roommate confided in me that he was sexually, physically, and emotionally abused as a child and is finally going to counseling. I tried to be happy for him, I really did. But I just don't care.
Trying to put on a smile, saying I'm happy he's moving on with his life is just too trying. My empathy left a while ago.
I can't stop thinking about her.
Like I literally can't.
I feel broken.
>>27243765
Fuck1ng normie get 0ut.
I do all day. Its
Was long time ago
Shit i've reached the point i cant even face family or old friends i am so ashamed of the boring and empty hermit i've become.
I've given up on romance and friendship. I guess this is what it means to be a robot.
>>27240534
Yeah I need a cock inside me badly.
>>27240534
Like what?
Physically?
Mentally?
Philosophically?
YOU HAVE SCHIZOID PERSONALITY DISORDER (probably)
>Neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family
>Almost always chooses solitary activities
>Has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person
>Takes pleasure in few, if any, activities
>Lacks close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives
>Appears indifferent to the praise or criticism of others
>Shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affect (emotion)
>in uni right now
>realize I have no desire for any specific career path after uni
>no experience or references, don't want to bother getting any of that
>GPA starting to slip because what's the point
>>27243716
Yeah, I don't care about other people either. Especially when the family tries giving me smalltalk like "I applied for a new job" and to fill the silence I say in the most monotone voice ".....where at?". It's embarrassing. Do "normies" actually like talking about nothing?
>>27249111
Iktf. All my life, when I was asked "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" I had no vision, no goals, nothing. In civics and careers I did a project on some random stem course (biomedical engineering) purely because it looked important and paid well. I didn't even know what to apply to uni for, I just said engineering because I liked using my hands and it was a stem course I saw no promise in the future, and it sees none in me
>>27243203
why shouldn't we just feel and be with our feelings? there is no conclusion or goal to our short time here and it will always be unsatisfactory.. scurry along rat, try to distract yourself from death by frantically working away on "improvement"
we'd rather sit in the dark by the fire and observe the shadows
>>27249918
>there is no conclusion or goal to our short time here and it will always be unsatisfactory
Except that most people are actually able to enjoy their lives. You feeling sorry for yourself isn't helping anything
>we'd rather sit in the dark by the fire and observe the shadows
Get some self awareness
I feel generally empty and bored with most things, especially interacting with people at this point in my life. I don't really enjoy going out and talking to people much anymore. I'm kinda lonely sometimes, but that's about it. I want to go away from here and just start all over again with new people fresh faces. But I dunno how to actually go about doing something like that.
>>27247629
I'd fuck you, finish on you, then go back to whatever it was I was doing prior.
>tfw happy stories make me feel worse than sad ones
I picked up some cutesy romance manga because the characters were cute and I thought the change from the norm would make me feel happier.
It ended up making me feel so much worse. Why do they get to be so happy? I'd rather read depressing shit and feel with the MC than be envious of happy people.
I feel empty. Not any particular emotions flows through me, I feel like nothing but a husk. An empty husk scrambling for sensation, for enjoyment, any way I can. Like a starving wolf desperately seeking scraps. I feel defeated but I have to keep pushing onward. Almost like my car ran out of fuel and I have to get out and push it up the road while everyone shouts encouraging words to keep going, but all and all it would be easier just to leave the car and walk away. I feel separated, not like myself, not feeling myself or anything else. I feel like I've lived too much, seen too much, more than I should. My life is flowing away from me like water through my goddamn fingers and I'm only watching. Call me edgy if you want, but this is what I feel.
I was feeling very empty but I've been doing a lot of reading on Existentialism and Absurdism, and right now I am starting to really think Absurdism might be the way forward from this abyss
Also this 2mb limit is bullshit
