What made you turn into the monster that you are today?
>>27238484
Finding out just how easy women live life just for existing.
When I had sex with your mum. It broke my psyche.
>>27238484
I really don't know I don't remember honestly, but I remember when I was little I saw a real beheading on TV and I wasn't disgusted I found it interesting for some reason
>Why is the scientific method true?
Because it is proven true.
>How is it proven true ?
Using the scientific method.
Rejection, realizing everybody is fake and nothing matters.
Realizing how the world work.
i dont know for sure but i bet it had to do with not having any friends growing up and being so much younger than my siblings that they had their own lives to live and i had nothing
I looked at boards other than /e/.
I have naturally poor social judgement in a relaxed setting, so every so often I either spout some dipshit meme or make a joke a bit too dark.
>>27238484
Being ugly and realizing that social hierarchy was based on looks when I was 12.
>>27238484
>do community service at a church (not religious)
>go there every Friday for 5 days
>last day going there
>lady who gives me the community hours apparently "lost" 3 of my sign in days
>try to seem calm and relaxed on the outside
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE on the inside
>get a massive urge to spit in this irresponsible bitches fucking face
>after 5 minutes of shit bitch spatting out "oh me can't find papers" she leaves
>leave the room where she makes me do work
>go to the staff bathroom
>cum on the bathroom floor and a bit of the toilet seat
>leave the church and spit all over her car door handle and the window
Should I keep going? It's not that important to what happens after, but if you're interested I'll finish the story.
growing up in an enviroment with no love
I didn't choose hateful outcast life. hateful outcast life choose me.
>>27238938
Sounds like she did the right thing by losing the papers. You clearly prove that you haven't learned anything from community service and that it was completely wasted on you.
You should do it a lot longer until you learn.
>>27238484
My mom never made me tendies.
I also never got neetbux.
Fuck this shitty country I like and that whore who should have fucked another guy.
>>27238763
But it's not. I have what I've been told are good looks... but to be in the social hierarchy you need to have the normie way of perceiving society and a desire to do social things which I guess I don't.
>>27239011
Are you me? Dat hit close to home
Been bullied and treated like garbage since I was a child.
>>27238484
>>27238484
THE CRUELTY OF OTHERS
>>27239300
>Been bullied and treated like garbage since I was a child.
A thousand times this.
Realizing I can be maliciously compassionate made me realize how much I need to be in control and am willing to fake relationships for my whole life.
I tried to turn the clock backward. I really did. I wanted to dig back into my childhood and start fresh, be clean, unsullied, trusting of everyone and the ray of sunshine my family used to know me as.
For all my efforts all I got was a big fake, a play that put me to shame for putting on. It depressed me even more.
Right now I am too focused on some goals I have acquired, which is a plus (not playing vidya until 6 am anymore). But I know something vital isn't there, and many missteps are being made under the guise of being "right" or "wise."
Some day I'll be able to look at myself and know, not guess or lie to myself, that I found happiness again. But it will take a lot more suffering and a lot more lying to myself until I know all my own tricks.
Pic related, me.
Dad lost job, mom became a drug addict, brothers are sociopathic chads, bullied at school, bullied at home, developed a life based around escape from reality. By the time I was 11 I constantly fantasized about killing myself, the rest of my life has been a slow recovery from there.
runescape then WoW
i was tremendously bullied between the age of 6-12. then i changed schools and was never able to adjust socially.
>>27239425
You have huge eyes
>>27238484
When I was 10 I knew I was ugly, because all the kids told me so. I was able to look at my features, without any of the self-perceiving cloud, and I knew they were right. I would get on the school bus covering my face, and when people talked to me I always made an excuse to keep my hand up to my face. I would not and still do not initiate conversations with people because I have a fear I'm being a burden on them by way of my ugliness.
I'm not ugly now that I've gone through puberty, but a lot of my insecurities from when I was younger are still with me.
I think because of how much I hated myself when I was a kid, I have this subconscious urge to make others adore me. When they do I shatter the image they have of me and make them realize I'm just using them to satiate my need for attention.
So, I've accepted I can never love a person as earnestly as I can 2D.
>>27238484
Years of social isolation and lack of human nourishment/intimacy.
Humanity. Not really a monster, tho.
>>27238484
Step sister leaving 3 naked Barbie doll in the shower.
It only went downhill from there.
>pic related
>>27239984
i want one of those
>>27239984
embrace your true nature my fellow robot, i wish i could find my purpose in life like you
>>27239033
>community service was wasted on you
>wasted on you
Lmfao you're actually retarded.
>>27238484
I didn't kill myself when I was 15 like I really thought I would
I felt so free and detached
If I killed myself now it would just be an echo of what should've been all that time ago~
>>27238629
>spout meme
>make a joke too dark
Is this a legit thing? I always make Holocaust, 9/11, <insert recent tragedy here> jokes, even to new people I've just met, and I am not unpopular for it. You must be coming off as creepy.
I'll try to go in order
> realizing some people have life easier for no reason or not because they worked for it
> fyour only worth as much as you can offer to other people
> knowing no one not one single person in the world will ever REALLY know me (last straw pretty much)
>>27238484
My moms abuse.
My girlfriends abuse.
My fathers abuse.
My "friends" betrayal and abuse.
My race's abuse and watching them just happily leap off the cliff like lemmings as i desperatly try to save them in vain.
The nightmare never ended. It just gets more horrific. I just want to die. I hate how I was so kind and gentle, everyone trests it as a big sign to walk all over you. Fuck them.
I'm not a monster though I'm very nice.
Im just ugly and that makes me really socialy awkward. Sometimes I just hate everyone around me for making jokes about my hair or my nose, even thought they are sometimes funny and do not want to be mean. A few days ago a friend said I should not have kids, that I should just spare them of my misery and genetics. Im not a complete waste, am funny sometimes, but in the end I will never be Chad because Im so fuckin ugly.
Feelsbadman
Eh, life in general
>>27238484
My parents divorce and this site.
>absent father
>abusive mother
>constant bullying from peers
>heartbreak
Being a late bloomer. I'm in my mid 20s and I still look like a fucking kid. I fucking hate everyone. It literally is ruining my life.
falling in love with computers and consoles from 4 years old
>>27238484
Biotechnology
>>27241078
This is both a good and bad thing depending on how old you are.
>>27241194
IF I HEAR THAT
ONE MORE FUCKING TIME
I WILL LITERALLY KILL MYSELF
>>27241204
well you're lucky you're on r9k then since I can't post it again.
>>27238484
I-I'm a monster? What did I do wrong? Why would you say that? Yes, I ate a bit of Thomas' strawberry shortcake when he wasn't looking 12 years ago but I apologized for that and he forgave me, it's true I shouldn't have done that but I was young and stupid and I couldn't resist I'm sorry.
>>27239984
holy shit, post more
that's really hot
Have you read Frankenstein? Basically that.
>>27241300
taking a man's dessert is one of the most horrid sins someone can commit. neither apologies nor dubs will ever redeem your blackened soul
>>27241877
N-no I don't want to go to heck please! What can I do?
>>27238484
People trying to bullshit me, control me and expecting that i owe them something cause of an assburger diagnosis.
Scram it is my life !
having sex at 13 and getting stuck in bad relationships after that
>single mother upbringing
>being treated like shit by normals no matter how hard I tried to be kind to them
>having no outlets
>long bouts of isolation
Honestly I find the thought that there are other people like me out in the world to be terrifying.
>>27241042
Fucking this !
Why does it have to happen ?
Bad facial aesthetics
Seriously my life would be great if I had a handsome face
women and jew's, women are shit mostly because of jew's though
>>27242289
you've got to go out into the world and create desserts for others. it's the only way
>"Why do you walk so funny anon?"
When it occurred to me how fucking easy it is to control you roaches.
You are nothing more than a game to me, a pawn for me to control for my own amusement and personal gain.
Filthy roaches
You see I am pure concentrated evil. Years of torment have turned me into the monster I am today. At this point I am far beyond help. My only purpose in this world is to bring pain to others. I have trained my skills to cause maximum havoc and destruction. I care about nothing and have nothing to live for, that is what makes me so dangerous. I am like a caged animal. Actually more like a rabid dog because I will not hesitate to destroy anything that slightly provokes me. Watch out roaches, there is a storm coming. The storm that wipes your pathetic life from the face of this earth.
Multiple women hinting at me having a small penis. From there i became a sociopath and now I'm trying to go back to lying to myself about my shortcomings again like most people.
>>27238484
People calling me a sick piece of shit for my fetishes and unpopular views.
Being called evil all the time makes you feel evil.
>>27242816
>>27243023
don't infest this thread with your bullcrap psychopath shit
>>27239033
If you wanted me to finish I would've also included that fact that she lied to the other staff by saying I left a big mess everyday, which was not at all true, and that I took food frome the lounge, which is also not at all true.
growing up with the internet fucked me up man
there's just too much shit out there
there's too many people too many ideas there's too many places that make you feel like you belong for being different
there's too many ways to cast away the world and withdraw into yourself
it's just all so big
there's so much shit and it's too hard to resist if you're the kind that's vulnerable to this whole thing
the world's not fucked for everyone but the world's fucked for people like me
Interracial pornogpraphgy
>>27238484
>bullied
>never loved
>ugly/asian
>realized women are shallow and only care about chad cock or money
Anyone else sexually attracted to the old iron king? No? Just me?
>>27238484
>Home Schooling
>The way religion was taught to me
>Stunt inline skating culture from 2001-2010
>Alcohol and marijuana
27
>shit family life
>grew up as poor whitetrash in the woods, then a low income suburb
>was shy, fat, and ugly
>no friends
>bullied and treated like garbage up to around 7th grade
>started lifting weights, poured everything I had into it
>after a year of lifting the bullying stopped >people excluded and feared my big ugly ass
>spent highschool years as fat depressed weightlifting ogre nicknamed "roids"
>only time classmates would ever interact with me was the end of the school years
>they would challenge guys from the football team to try and arm-wrestle with me
>only time I ever felt like I was good at something
>lost some weight senior year
>people immediately started acting nicer to me including some that used to bully me
>all this did was piss me off
>graduate highschool and become neet
>go crazy, lock myself in my room, starve myself, and piss in jugs
>go from 200 pounds to 150 in a few months >lost all muh gains
>after loosing the weight my face is actually kinda attractive
>spend nearly two years like this
>start running, eating healthy, and get back into lifting
>now my entire life is lifting and shitposting
I turn 22 soon and i'm still a khv. I've never had any of intimate relationship with another human being and i'm afraid I never will.
My life feels like some sort of weird purgatory where i'm trapped inside my own fucked up head and I cant get out. I know the only thing holding me back at this point is myself, and i'm scared. I guess some of us were never meant to be happy.
>>27245285
Did you write this on the spot? is it pasta?
>>27245944
straight from my heart senpai
>>27238484
The realization that nothing really matters and that everything I love will eventually turn to dust, and no matter how hard I try I can't bring myself not to care about it all.
no friends up until my 20s because I was "weird"
being raised by a single mother who never taught me how to make proper decisions or how to compromise my comfort for a hard yet rewarding lifestyle i guess
don't hold it against her though, if i wasn't such a piece of shit i could probably have figured that stuff out on my own.
>>27239519
That picture is quite old and you are retarded.
I don't know anything
No one knows anything
I can do what I want
I can observe reality for what it is
I can reason
I just need to get over my irrational fears that hold me back from being a bold asshole
>>27238484
But I don't think I'm a monster, senpai.
I just kind of drifted away from everything over the years and I find it harder and harder to make meaningful connections with other people. I have a kind of lackluster relationship with my family, they say they care but I just don't feel it. There were a few times during my childhood when I needed them and they just weren't really there for me, so I became a self-reliant, detached guy at around 17. I beat up two of my bullies myself because the adults back then didn't do shit, both teachers and parents. They all offered me the same kind of faggot coward advice like "bullies only want attention, you need to ignore them" etc. Now all I wanna do is make money and have my own place.
I'm constantly trying to get away from something but I don't know what.
Other people's happiness just makes me so sad and angry. Also people born with good genetics.
>>27241078
>tfw late bloomer
>didn't even care about sex until 19
Guess I missed my chance at free high school girls
Moment I fucked up was the day I found out about Starcraft BW, I played it every day for almost a year and then got Warcraft III and played it even more
So many hours spent in custom games, just fuck my life up senpai
>>27238484
Lack of connection with this world and the people on it... I try to be one of then, but I am too different... Not the hipster different, just a bad and solitary different.
And the fact that my mother isn't immortal, or neither me.... All I will do, if I do something, will be lost in feel years. In life nobody even remember about my existence... Who would care if I die, besides my mother? This is what holds me, I think... When she gets older and pass away... I don't know if I will be capable of hold myself together
People say you have to keep going, because the good times will come, and you will find love, the place where you belong, and the sun will shine for you... I fear that I'll keep on going, holding in that false and destructive hope, just to die alone, and be rewarded with oblivion.
>>27242427
Jesus fuck are you me.
Origifuckingnal
>>27238484
Ever since middle school i've been called ugly by multiple classmates but here's what really broke me:
>Jr year
>have an onitis
>we talked to each other all the time
>even in the hallways she would say hi to me, even when I was speed walking down the hallway looking towards the ground like a super autist
>every time I saw her I smile
>just being around her would make my day
>I trusted her
Here's where it goes downhill
>gym class
>I'm just sitting on the bleachers
>onitis and her friends walk by
>onitis says hi and gives an amazing smile
>after she and her friends got some distance one of them whispered, "he's so ugly"
>my onitis agrees and laughs.
I tried to give her the cold shoulder but I couldn't. I didn't want her to know that I hated her. But I knew that she was faking it. which made me hate myself. I've been called ugly a few times in uni but it never hurt as much as back then. 22YO KV
