>received a letter for jury duty
Fuck! Fucking normshits! How do I get out of this!?
>>27219827
Just go and do your duty. It might be an interesting case and you might have the opportunity to send a Chad to prison.
>>27219827
Show them that you post on /r9k/
Depends is this your first time?
Just say you hate niggers then they kick you out
>>27219827
I've gotten four jury summons and they've each gone straight to the trash can. The courts have too much important shit to worry about to bother with chasing you down for skipping jury duty.
>>27219827
>I'm so pleased, I'm really really interested in jury duty!
>I support the BNP / AfD / Trump / whatever is labelled racist in your country.
>I'll need to send a message back to home planet to make sure Xenu approves.
Any of these are fine. They won't use you if you seem too interest in court (armchair judge) or have crazy opinions.
>>27219939
This. Just start ranting about how niggers and jews are destroying America.
>>27219827
>>27219901
>>27219927
>>27219936
>>27219939
>>27219941
>>27219963
>>27219983
>tfw Dutchfag
>tfw no Jury Duty here
(Replied to more people to increase my chances that someone replies)
>presuming you're an ameribot
Talk about jury nullification to everyone you see and and ask them if they are jewish.
>>27219827
Just tell them you believe in jury nullification, they'll drop you.
>>27220014
>(Replied to more people to increase my chances that someone replies)
wow, how pathetic. here's your (You)
>>27219827
>Get government handouts
>Get mad when the government asks you to do something back
Serve your duty leech. You have nothing that prevents you from doing Jury Duty
>>27220058
thanks but please stay ontopic
>>27220070
>thanks but please stay ontopic
make me, autismo :^)
>>27219827
Don't vote and you won't get pestered. I've never voted and have never been juried. I'm probably older than most of your parents.
>>27219827
How the fuck is this a thing? Are they literally asking random people to be juries? What if I'm biased? How can they be sure that I'm qualified to reach a verdict?
don't worry about it, most of the time what happens is it never goes to trial and they won't need you.
call the number in the paper work they gave you the day before you're supposed to go in, most likely it will say your services are no longer required.
the racist stuff doesn't work, don't listen to people who say to do that.
>>27220097
FUCK YOU FUCKING FAGGOT
I SIMPLY ASK NICELY AND I DONT LIKE IT IF PEOPLE CALL ME FCKING AUTISTIC SO FUCK YOU YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOUR ENTIRE FUCKINGF FAMILY MOTHERFUCKER COCKSUCKING DICK FASGGOT ASSHOEL SHIT GODDAMN IT JSDIM AM SO FUCKING MAD RIGHT NOW
SSEIRUESUSLY FUCK PEOPLE LIOKE YOU WHO THINK ITS OK TO SAY WORDS LIKE THAT
YOU DONT EVEN FUCKING KNOW ME YOU PIECE OF FUCKIGN SHIT!!!!!!!
>>27220112
it's called jury selection, the lawyers and a judge ask you questions and they decide to keep you or toss you
>>27219827
>not showing up and trolling the other jurors and getting paid to ruin someone's life
>>27220121
I learned enough from that post to know you're a paint huffing retard.
>>27220150
Where do you live? Seriously I will come and fight you
>>27220121
do this to get out of jury duty
Trust me on this, I've gotten out of jury duty before.
The best way to get out of jury duty is to be brutally honest with them. Tell them how you feel about the Jews, about the niggers, about women, all of it. Tell them you think there's nothing wrong with pedophilia. Tell them you think all drugs should be legalized. Tell them all of it.
I guarantee they won't want you on the jury.
>>27219827
Tell the judge you post on /r9k/ and give him a link.
Or you can tell him you know about jury nullification
OP JUST MENTION "JURY NULLIFICATION"
>>27220207
This.
Tell them you'll most likely be exercising your right as a juror to make a decision based on your own beliefs, even if it's in direct contradiction of the law.
>>27220160
Svalbardveien 2C
0375 Oslo
come and try it, you stupid autist.
>>27220243
Fucking faggot Norwegian piece of shit I will come to your house and go full Breivik on you
>>27219827
say that you know the suspects somehow
>>27220263
lol okay. Im sure you will, princess. Ill be here quivering in my boots
I served Jury once
I knew the Chad was innocent, he didn't beat his pregnant girlfriend but my verdict was guilty. He bullied me in school and I hope Tyrone rapes his ass in prison.
>>27219827
Tell them you can't deal with the responsibility. That's what my mom did.
>>27219939
nah, if you do this they can throw you in contempt
what you have to do is disagree with the law
if it's some normie on drug charges, and one of the lawyers asks you (and they will ask you) if there is anything that could prevent you from making an impartial decision, just say something like that you believe drug laws are fucking bullshit and a free man in a free country should do what he wants with his body and money, even if you don't necessarily agree with that. youll get kicked out since both lawyers need to agree on which jurors they'll have
unless its a rape or murder case then you're pretty much screwed
>>27219827
unless you SIGNED for that letter, there's no evidence you ever got it! don't return anything, throw it away and in the unlikely event anyone asks you tell them you never got any letter about jury duty.
you'll be OK, robobro.
It's easy. They'll ask some questions about shit like "Do you have a bias" (are you racist)
Just answer yes to a couple of them and they'll send you out.
Absolute worst case scenario they will interview you. Tell them that you know about jury nullification and you will use it if you think that the law is unjust.
>>27219827
> "I had to commence with my summoning to jury service. I received the summons in the mail a few months prior, but I postponed it until May because I was too anguished to deal with such trivial matters at the time. The Courthouse was all the way in Santa Monica. As I sat in the waiting room before my interview with the judge, I saw a very pretty girl who looked about the same age as I was. She had a face that melted my heart. What I would give to hold her in my arms and kiss that pretty face of hers ... I wanted to talk to her, but I just could not. I felt too insecure. I was afraid she would think of me as a creep, as all other girls did. to my fury, another guy came in and struck up a conversation with her. They started talking comfortably, and he even made her laugh! I had to watch it all, and it broke my heart. "
> "I wanted to get out of there as soon as I could. I hoped that I could make an excuse to avoid having to do jury service. When I was called in for the interview, I requested to be excused due to the fact that I was moving to Santa Barbara soon. to my relief, the judge told me I can go and wished me good luck. As I drove out of the Courthouse parking lot, I saw the same pretty girl. She must have been excused as well. Again, I wished I could have said something to her. she would have made the perfect girlfriend for me, but she was probably already attracted to that other guy who sweet-talked her in the waiting room. Damn him! I felt so sad on the drive home "
>>27220177
>tell a judge you're racist and antisemit and a pedophile
fucking genius
There this thing where if you know you can vote however the fuck you want you're not allowed to. Don't remember what it's called but that redditor GCPGrey made a video on it. Check it out and it'd be illegal for you to participate I believe. So tell them.
>>27220050
>I am subscribed to Red dit youtubers and am not afraid to say it
>>27221530
None of those things are crimes on their own. Just say it and get out of having to wake up early every morning to reenact 12 angry men in front of a fat old white man in a robe every day.
>>27221219
:(
blox blox blox blox bloxlox
>>27221608
Are you stupid? Not him, but the jury nullification thing is a well known way out of jury duty among people who know their shit.
>not wanting to excerpt control over another person's live
write a letter informing them that you are glad to be given this opportunity to exert your social responsibility to send niggers, Chads and women to jail.
regardless of whether you are removed from that role or not, you win.
>>27221811
This
I had a teacher in HS once that told us if we didn't want jury duty we just had to mention nullification and we would be free
He was a bro, probably a robot too, I took some high level AP class with him and we literally played Monopoly card game the entire class
