I THINK I GOT A GF GUYS
>be 29, but look about 23-25.
>be HH-KV never had a GF
>be at my male cousins house (he is a neet robot)
>other cousin (female) gets home and with her friend
>shes 20
>my cousin said my friend thinks im hot and that she wants come over
>i asked if she wanted to come over and watch a movie or something at my parents place
>she said yes
>its 4:25pm and shes coming over at 7pm.
I am fucking shitting myself. I told my parents (so they aren't shocked when this random person does the doorbell) and they're all excited and happy.
I'm fucking terrified. Why the fuck would she even want to come over? How does she not care that I am living with my parents at nearly 30? Shes thin and kind of hot as well, not beautiful model tier, but def not ugly, and shes petite, like 5'3 and 100lbs (judging this based on the fact her height/body looks like my female cousin and I know her stats)
WHAT THE FUCK DO I EVEN DO? HELP, GOT ABOUT 2.5 HOURS BEFORE SHE GETS HERE.
Im fucking scared. HEEEEEEELP, advice, tips, comments PLEASE HELP.
Be brave senpai
Set an example for us robots
>clean your room
>don't act like this is the first woman to enter your room aside mommy
>keep the spaghetti in your pockets
Good luck OP
Just try to act confident I guess.
Don't sperg out too much.
Good luck.
>>27210493
Righteous dude. Just play it cool man. More than likely she wants the dick so,however don't press the issue because of past experiences it always ends sour. Unless youre hung like a horse then cum in her eyes. More importantly be yourself. And have shit tons of confidence.
Just remember that you can't make a girl like you or trick her into being yours. Just always act genuine and be clear about your intentions. good luck!
>>27210749
Have you forgotten that this is /r9k/ and "just play it cool" is equivalent to asking a normie to perform brain surgery and saying "just do the thing correctly and youll be fine!"
She's not your gf yet, she's just a girl coming over to your house.
Calm down, familia. Don't be afraid to touch her.
BE CONFIDENT. This is the most important thing.
1.) Shower and clean any necessary rooms.
2.) For fuck's sake brush your teeth before she shows up.
3.) Remain as calm as possible.
4.) Act confident. Or fake confidence if you're not confident.
5.) Don't trip on your spaghetti
>>27210799
Hahah you're right man...my apologies just trying to help someone. This is my favorite board by the way. The feels I encounter here....outweigh that of playing dark souls....
>>27210857
It's all good. I just find it a bit humorus that "just be normal" is the go-to advice for stuff like this.
>>27210493
>>i asked if she wanted to come over and watch a movie or something at my parents place
it's over. you should have gone to the theater instead. take your parents car and pick her up and go to the theater.
>>27210799
Well I don't know what else to say.
Maybe OP should rewatch Drive and learn to mimic The Driver for his hot date.
>>27210857
Don't reply for me you autistic shit-posting teenage faggot.
Fuck off.
>>27210493
definitely do NOT smoke weed
or maybe you should this might be a sign
>>27210879
Fuck off, going to a movie for a first date is both cliche and boring. You can't even talk to each other well. This is the best way for him to get laid.
>>27210876 but my fine sir as you stated this is r9k lol so I had assumed the worst if you feel me senpai. ;)
>>27210879
Depends what movie they plan on watching too. I saw The Book Thief on my first date with a girl 2 or so years ago, and looking back, I probably should have seen something different.
But yeah, theater is a better choice for a guest date
>>27210493
Be sure to brush your teeth, brush your tongue, and floss. Shower, clean, and put on your best casual clothes.
>>27210882
Bruh i thought he responded to your post instead of mine calm down.
>>27210854
6.) Shave if you have to, but def shave your neckbeard
7.) Put on a slight hint of cologne--like not too much that she could tell you want to impress her-- its like she should not be bothered by it but think you always smell nice
8.) Pretend sex doesn't exist. Don't try to go too fast and jump on her
9.) Look in the mirror and check yourself out
10.) benis
>>27210896
>Implying OP can pull off a miracle and actually get his willy wet
>>27210882
As well I'm sorry to differ with you but my post are genuine.
>>27210896
what the fuck? he's doing the same thing except at his parents house which is breaking the golden rule
>>27210942
>>27210882
I'm on mobile right now and everyone is yelling at each other and I don't know who is who
Help
>>27210882
Shut the fuck up nigger. Acting like you are some hot shit on 4chan doesn't make you tough
Fucking cunt
HOLY FUCK MY PARENTS JUST SAID THEY'RE GOING TO LEAVE THE HOUSE IN AN HOUR AND GO OUT FOR THE NIGHT SO I HAVE THE HOUSE TO MYSELF SO I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE HER TO MY ROOM OR MAKE IT AWKWARD WITH THEM HERE.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
IODSFJ(SD*JF*(SDJF(*SDJFOISDJFIOSJDFIOJDSFIOJDSIFOJSDIOFJ)DSFJIOSDFJSDF
MY DAD ALSO THREW A FEW CONDOMS ON MY BED, THIS IS TOO REAL
HOLY SHIT. ITS FUCKING HAPPENING
NEED TIPS ON HOW TO NOT FUCK THIS UP
>>27210493
How are you feeling OP
Are you preparing yourself?
>>27210991
Try and rape her
Bloxxy
>>27210965
What golden rule? I've fucked three different girls at my mom's house and there was no issue.
>>27210493
>just be yourself
but actually, try to be confidant, but when you cant be confidant try to be cute and innocent, cute and innocent is still better than being a robot
>>27211001
IM feeling so fucking nervous, my heart feels like im doing cardio.
I trimmed my pubes and shaved my balls yesterday. (LUCKY) And I've been tanning recently so I have a nice complexion.
I am waiting until about 6:30 to shower & brush teeth so I am as fresh as possible, she gets here at 7:00, its 5:02pm atm.
>>27211019
>confidant
Its confident you idiot
>>27211019
Yeah Rule #1 do not let your autism or social ineptitude show.
This turns the girl off.
id never ever ever let myself get into a situation like this desu
but op if anyone can pull it off its u
ur older so she might think ur mature or watev
>>27211010
>What golden rule?
the one where you dont take your only potential gf to your parents house when you're 2 years old.
>I've fucked three different girls at my mom's house and there was no issue.
fuck off. the only girls you've fucked are in your head
Got a couple beers in the fridge? Drinking those might help, but don't break the seal or else she might think you have some kind of bladder disorder.
>>27210991
You got it family, you got this.
THEY'RE ROOTING FOR YOU.
Sit close to her. Talk a bit, get to know her. Don't be afraid to touch her. A good way to do that is by teasing her feet with your own. Test the waters. Don't over commit if she's not responding well.
When you both feel comfortable put your arm around her. She wanted to meet YOU. You're at an advantagel, take it easy. I want you to succeed anon, I really do. Go for it.
>>27211030
>I am waiting
No. No. NO. Get in the fucking shower. Ee can wait a few minutes. I'll bump. Don't worry
You are gonna be one sorry ass if she comes a bit early and you are still not ready, or worse, still unshowered
>>27211030
Well, so far so good. I'm assuming you have at least some sort of drinks/snacks readily accessable in your kitchen?
Also, where the fuck do you live where it's 5:00. It's like 1am here
>>27211040
eat shit and dye
GUYS, IS SHE GONA EXPECT ME TO KISS HER OR TOUCH HER IN A CERTAIN WAY? HOW CAN I TELL IF SHE WANTS TO DO IT?
I DONT WANT TO COME OFF AS FRIGID EITHER.
SHOULD I PUT MY HAND ON HER LEG OR SHOULDER OR SOMETHING? OR JUST SIT NEXT TO HER ON THE COUCH NORMALLY LIKE AS IF ITS A STRANGER? IM NOT SURE WTF TO DO. I DONT WANNA SEEM COLD AND DISTANT AND INEXPERIENCED.
>>27210991
DUDE hell yeah man nows your chance robot. You can fucking so this dude I've got Goosebumps for you man. Post results tomorrow at like 12am ill be waiting too hear how it went man. YOU CAN DO IT MY ROBOT SENPAI. Remember confidence dude.
>>27211098
Small talk for a bit on the couch touch her leg and ask her if she wants to see your room
>>27211072
>teasing her feet with your own
NOT IN A CREEPY WAY THOUGH, just to be clear
i dont usually do this but have my good luck pepe. im praying for you anon.
>>27210991
good luck anon
>this is the most important day of your life
>it all comes down to this
>fuck her or you might as well kill yourself
>it would actually be more honorable to end your life than to mess this up and keep on living
>>27211091
i have some chicken breast and veggies and some dark chocolates, that's all i can see though.
i was going to eat chicken and veggies for dinner anyway
im in australia, its hot as fuck here atm but im literally feeling goosebumps like its cold, nipples are all hard
I never imagined this board would be supportive of anyone.
I hope it's real so atleast someone is happy.
>>27211098
Read >>27211072
Take the initiation for all that you do. Tease her when you can. Be confident with everything you do, don't hesitate.
>>27211136
Yeah, laugh about it. Poke fun with her.
>>27211138
Do you mind if I borrow this pepe? I know someone who could use some luck
Keep thread alive I wanna know how it goes op good luc
>>27211098
See this is the kinda sbit we mean by spaghetti
Kissing on the neck if you are already making out is a good thing
You might not want to get too grabby, cowboy
Put your arm around her when watching tv or whatever. If she looks at you in a position that enables kissing or pats her head on your shoulder, it likely means she is A-Ok. You should go for a slow kiss
>>27211139
Wellllll... as long as he doesn't fuck it up, I'd say he's still in a good position, regardless of whether he gets to fuck her
Post what movie you're planning on watching. Is this going to be a netflix and chill
>>27211141
Go shower btw. Trust me, do it earlier rather than later. You don't want her to show up while you're getting dressed or getting out of the shower
>>27211147
You are being such a negative nancy.
>>27211147
its better this way, using 4chan as a glimmer of hope and feeling of community is better than having a cesspool where you can hone your betarage
>inb4 normie
fuck off
Good luck OP, listen to this anon >>27211160, it's the first date after all so don't expect to get to frisky.
Guy that uses Tinder to Netflix and chill here all the time. AMA
>>27211197
OK.
should i put on normal deodorant and use aftershave or would the aftershave be like im trying too hard?
i dont wanna come off as autistic smelling like im going out to wedding or something
>>27211224
Any good movie recommendations for OP and his date?
>>27211224
>AMA
Can I fuck your mom
I heard she loves to suck men dry
>>27211238
Deodorant is an absolute requirement, especially if you sweat while nervous.
And I'd only use aftershave if you don't have any cologne or body spray.
>>27210493
post results/progress my man
>>27211249
Pi
>mfw banned for 1 minute and 4 sec
>>27211249
If you don't know anything about a girl, watch romcom. They are shallow enough to where you can still have conversations mid movie and not miss anything important. There's enough romance in there to initiate at the minimum a kiss at the climax of the film.
>>27211267
>27211267
ive got this thing nice smelling thing called acqua di gio from georgrio armani that my mum gave me
says "profumo" on it
is this okay or will it be come off as trying too much? its supposed to be a casual meet up, do i really put this stuff on? ive only put it on when ive gone out the few times i have
>>27211305
Nice that's my favorite colonge brotato. Just a spray on the wrist (rub them together) and one on the neck.
>>27211224
OP HERE>
lets say we have sex
can i just cum anywhere or do i have to ask her?
GOD WHY DID I DO THIS
A HUGE PART OF ME FEELS LIKE NOT ANSWERING THE DOOR WHEN SHE COMES
>>27211305
one squirt on your wrist. rub wrists together. now touch each wrist to each side of your neck.
you have now correctly applied 'le parfum'
>>27211349
You're not having sex, op. Unless she's a whore, did you ask your cousin anything about her?
>>27211349
she wont show
>>27211305
It's your call. Maybe only use a little, don't down yourself in it.
Finally, good luck. I probably won't see your update thread, as I honestly never browse this board, but it's been fun tonight.
>>27211349
It depends. If you want go have her a good time as well as yourself, you have to communicate during sex. Ask her what she likes or what she's not into. Establish it early on. You can also gauge throughout the session how kinky she is. You can establish this by slapping her ass. If it's received well, you should be able to cum anywhere on her. Try choking her, if she enjoys that, she's probably open to being cummed in or taking a load in her mouth.
>>27211365
>did you ask your cousin anything about her?
this. do you know anything other than she likes you
>>27211401
Well it's probably too late for that now anyway. OP's date is supposedly arriving in 90 minutes.
>>27211365
she has not said anything to me besides shes a nice girl and chill with her and that i should do it because i never spent time with a woman before
when my cousin told me this i just said ok and what i said earlier about asking her to come over if she wants to do whatever/movie etc.
then i just went back to talking with my robot cousin and she smiled at me and said seeya in a few hours
>>27211397
Autism.
bloxx
>>27211349
Oh my god robot please don't do that man. We've all poured out our hearts too you dude. Please do this for me man. YOU CAN FUCKING DO THIS DUDE!!!!!
by the way, where do i go if i need to fart or something? pretend i need to goto the toilet?
>>27211458
You hold it in
>>27211431
If you want to receive it that way you can, but if there's anything that I've learned by fucking a lot of women is that when it comes to the bedroom, you can get away with a lot more things than you'd expect.
Sure it takes a level of dominance to be able to get through the initial nerves of those types of actions, but just throwing out my experience and knowledge out there.
>>27211458
Yes excuse yourself to the toilet.
>>27211430
If you guys all hanged out together at your meet cousin's place, were you comfortable? Being yourself? If so, she may have been watching that so don't act any differently as difficult as that may be.
Congratulations, now leave forever normie
>>27210493
>asking her to come over if she wants to do whatever/movie etc.
>she smiled at me and said seeya in a few hours
don't sweat it anon. you already have more gall than 70% of the robots here. you're a shoo in for gf
>>27211458
Only go to the bathroom if it's an emergency.
Otherwise, clench your ass and hold it in. You've got time to fart once she leaves
>>27211472
>>27211458
And open the sink and hum the national anthem so she doesn't hear you fart
>>27211349
dude your over thinking this shit
turn your brain off, if you cant do that this shit wont work
close r9k, put on some music you like or something
>>27211490
my female cousin was saying it to me and told me to go ask her (i was hit on the spot, they all know ive never had gf and been KV for life so i didnt want to come off as being gay, i would have said no if she was fat though, but i had no excuse, shes petite, i couldn't get out of it)
>>27211490
This desu. If she's a normie Stacy whore, she said yes to Netflix and chill with you. It's habbening, anon.
>>27210493
>new gf arriving in 1.5 hours
>op still hasn't showered and cleaned his room
boy i cant wait for that update thread
>>27210493
OP I'm at work I have too go now. Tomorrow at 12 am central time post a thread on the follow up of this I want to know how it went. Farewell and much respect I'm sure it will work out fine. Remember have confidence dude!!!!!! Best of luck.
>>27211537
im going in the shower in a few minutes.
my room is always clean friend, i have very little possessions and im OCD about cleanliness, "spartan" like living conditions.my parents hate clutter & mess and ive grown up being the same as them, so no issue there
>>27211543
Same here. I need to get at least 4 hours of sleep before I work my 12 hour shift.
Don't back down. Be the great autist we all know you can be.
>>27211573
What a coincidence I'm also on 12 hour shift currently lol.
>>27210493
what are you going to call your update thread? so i know what to look for in the archives.
Just make sure not to shitpost during, op. Girls hate that shit.
ok op here im closing down the computer now, ill report back later or tomorrow.
most likely later because ill prob be too excited to sleep until late
1hour 19min until my life changes forever
>>27210493
i was just watching a porn and i can give you advice.
when you start fingering her don't actually be jabbing into her pussy it's all about rubbing the clit. licking the clit etc.
make sure to smell your fingers so you can report back what it smells like to us.
i know my post seems kinda like i'm acting on my own interests which i kinda am i want to know what dat pussy smelsl like. could you take pictures if possible?
gl robot pound her out.
>>27211605
just remember 29 year old HHKV from australia, with 20 year old woman coming over.
>>27211616
Ssswweeeeettttt titties bro good luck.
>>27211605
OP has left us. I'll be searching through /r9k/ periodically over the course of the day tomorrow, and if I find it I'll screencap his response. I'm not sure how it'll find its way to you, but I'm sure other people will find it too.
>>27211616
Best of luck. I got a good feeling about you
>>27211616
Good luck. You got this.
>>27211616
YOU CAN DO IT, OP, WE KNOW YOU CAN!
Good luck friend :)
original
>>27210493
she is gonna show up with chad, u better lock yourself and never answer to that bitch again
>>27211301
This is a good movie to legitimately watch, but if a girl ever wants to come over to your place, she secretly wants to have sex. So slap on like so space documentary to make her feel all smart and cool and hipster and just start massaging her or something. If yall are literally in a bed together she wants to fuck.
Op is getting what in the normie world is called a sympathy fuck. His cousin would have told her friend about him and felt sorry for him. She feels confident to do it because his cousin gave the green light. This is an extremely rare event and there's an overwhelming high chance op loses his virginity.
Good luck.
>>27211646
Screencap this thread also for archiving purposes
>>27211349
Thimk about it if the time ever comes.
Dont get too carried off with your fantasies or you might accisentaly show them or just be disapointed if it doesnt happen. Remember that the first date doeant have to have sex.
>>27211860
(Same guy that you replied to earlier, now on mobile.)
That's... that's a lot of work.
>>27212035
Dont be lazy you cheeky cunt
>>27212035
There's no need to screencap it.
It's all archived.
>>27212063
Whats the best archive for r9k
>>27212073
desustorage
orginal
>>27211616
Godspeed op.
this is original :^)
>>27210493
Normie with GF here. It may be in your best interest to let her know you are nervous but happy to have her over. Maybe let her know you are a nerd and that you're not used to girls taking an interest in you. Try to genuinely have a good time with her around but do not ignore her. Watching a movie is fine, trying to make things physical is a good idea, like sitting close and just seeing where things go. You are going to be a nervous wreck probably but some girls are into that. I'm guessing she is one of them by taking interest in you.
>>27210991
you can do it.
>mfw i turn 18 in one second
>>inb5!
My prayers are with you, brother. Don't ever look back at this place, we don't want to hold you back.
>>27212441
>>27210991
getting banned just so you win, true sacrifice to the bot overlord
Bump. It just hit 7pm on some parts of Australia. Can only imagine what's happening. Probably already spilled his spaghetti.
Bump. Fingers crossed for OP.
>>27210493
Just kiss her, OP. It's so much easier after you kiss her.
God bless you OP
Show us all that its not too late
>>27210493
OK bruh, you need dim lights, some booze and some music.
Then make sure you sit next to her pretty close, and just be chill, let the ambiance, the proximity and the alcohol do its thing. You might have to make a move first like 1 hour in like putting your hand on her leg or something. Rest should take care of itself.
I need this to be real, because I'm a 31 y/o, wizard. I need hope, please be real.
>>27211062
maaaad salt
kys pussy
thread is about 3 hours old now, we are hoping she is at OPs house right now
TELL US WHAT HAPPENED!
>>27213027
Well she would have been there for about 45 minutes if his timeline is right. So they're probably in the middle of fucking. I believe in OP.
>>27213063
or its going to be one of those
>girl comes over for "a movie"
>they just watch the movie
>she leaves
stories
>>27213063
op is a virgin there's no way he lasted beyond a minute. still I hope that minute was all he needed to break out of his khhv shell
go OP
we are rooting for you / living vicariously through you
dont let us down
Keeping it alive
bump desu
I'm kinda happy to see thag when a fellow robot is making it the rest does his best to help him out. Or is it just because OP decided to post in a good time of the day/night?
You have one shot, so go for the crotch.
Do NOT waste your shot.
>>27210493
FUCK DUDE
ITS TIME, YOU GOTTA GO
GRAB A NAPSACK AND FUCK THE GET FUCKING OOUTT OF THERE
WHAT ARE YOUY GONNA TALK ABOUT? YOUR AUTIST MUSIC? VIMEO JAMES? R9K?
ITS TIME TO WHAM BLAM AND SLAM THAT WINDOW OPEN AND BE THE MAN YOU KNOW YOU ARE AND RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN
>>27213253
this is yuro hour, aka normie time.
Why aren't you going out? Shit i can't even imagine introducing a girl to my parents before introducing her to my dick.
Good luck OP Kun
Report back
>tfw you'll never be the random anon visiting various robots and helping them get laid
Yo you got this shit mayne
>>27210991
You realize they brought you a hooker right ?
>Parents are home
Shit nigger, you can't let them interfere.
just watch a movie together on your bed (recommending horror flicks)
10 minutes in you go for the kiss and feel up her boobs
???
profit
>>27213726
>10 mins in
Jesus christ it's like you want to get arrested
>>27213770
You don't waste time if she wants the dick.
You've gotta face the world like it's Earl in the bullpen.
>>27213770
well if shes coming over to 'netflix and chill' like OP mentioned, its implied and she knows that kinky stuff will happen. Doesnt matter if it happens after 10min or halfway through the movie imo
OP here. I'm in the bathroom atm.
9:15pm.
Movie just ended, i am officially not longer a HHKissless. I also felt up her tits squeezing and sucking then, felt her pussy and she's fondled my balls and grabbed my cock. Literally had an erection for the last 2 hours. Still a Virgin for now but so far what I've experienced is fucking incredible, she's so soft and smells so nice and I feel so comfortable with her and all my fears of being made fun of and laughed at have settled. I can't believe I've gone 29 years without this in my life. I'm going back out now. I'll report back later. I am 95% sure it's going to happen, even if it doesn't I am already unhappy with what I've achieved so far.
>>27213881
The graduation of a robot. Glad you achieve it, see you later OP.
Keep us posted and stay safe, use condom.
>>27213881
at least you didn't screw it up in some fantastic way, good job anon
>>27213924
there's still time for that, still, good luck OP
OP HERE
ALL IS LOST
TURNS OUT SHE HAD A DICK AND HAIRY BALLS
>>27213881
Keep this thread (and the hope) alive bros!
>>27213881
You got this man. Godspeed you magnificent bastard!
>>27210882
Please bully me too.
>>27210493
Holy fuck anon you are so close to becoming a wizard, don't fuck this up.
If you fuck her youll have to leave the board
>>27213881
You're now a normalfag. You don't belong here anymore.
>>27213881
You got this OP you glorious faggot
>>27213881
>Literally had an erection for the last 2 hours
>not jacking off the moment she left
you're not a true robot
>>27213881
I want to believe, but alas i cannot
>>27213881
This should be your last thread and posts on /r9k/.
You've made it.
>>27214178
nvm I can't read
>>27213881
Good job homie, now get out you fucking normie!!!
Just kidding haha but seriously good on you!
>tfw OP made it
We're all gonna make it, guys.
>>27210493
DONT FUCK THIS UP OP, THIS IS YOUR ONLY CHANCE AT HAPPINESS
I HOPE YOU ARE READY
IF YOU FUCK THIS UP YOU WILL FOREVER REMEMBER THAT ONE SINGLE EVENT THAT LOST YOU A GF/HAPPINESS
No pressure bro you'll do great moves, keep it up, proud of you.
>>27214236
That picture motivated me to get my shit together and start losing weight. I have lost like 4 kg since and going strong.
>>27213881
You're not OP. His wwriting style is different
>>27213881
You family got you a hooker.
>>27214332
It's similar desu senpai
OP HERE
GUYS I JUST LOST MY VIRGINITY!
I came back from the bathroom and we made out some more. She then went down on me and sucked my dick. I got to feel her soft smooth blonde hair while she went down on me. She then told me to put the condom on that my dad gave me. I was so nervous because I didn't know how hard to thrust because she is so small.
I didn't last long because I had no experience and her blowjob was already getting me close. She moaned a little but I wasn't sure if it was real or fake. I didnt have time cum anywhere else but inside her with the condom on. It was so amazing my robot friends thanks for all the help.
She said she enjoyed it even though it seemed way too fast. How do you know if she even orgasmed? Right now she is in the bathroom cleaning up. What should I to her now that it's over? I don't want her to be disappointed.
>>27214448
I'm so proud of you OP
>>27214448
Hug her, ask if she wants a drink, let her sit down, bring it to her, get comfy together cuddle a bit, ask if she wants to see something else / sleep.
She might want to talk.
So happy for you OP.
What is the possibility of the hooker theory to be true here? Im starting to think that its what really happened here.
>>27214448
sounds fake as fuck wow ethan, great moves, keep it up, proud of you.
>>27214533
It's possible, you should probably prod your cousin or w/e about her, if they're fumbling when you ask her where she lives then you know they're lying
>>27214589
He will know very soon if he asks for her Facebook or phone number.
>>27214448
Ignore this. I am OP.
She just left 5min ago. She said she really likes me and said she felt really good and said the whole night was really chill and not awkward like she thought it might be. We did not have sexual intercourse because she said she didn't want to do it on the first time spending time together. She said shes had 2 BFs before and only had sex with 1 of them so she isn't exactly that experience either even though shes knows im a virgin.
Even though I didn't lose virgin status I've actually for the first time managed to get a ton of sexual experience all in 1 night. I feel like a different person. I feel like a massive weight is off my shoulder. I feel like I am going to make it. I felt a vagina in real life, I actually had a womans hands on my erect cock and balls. I actually sucked on real tits that wasn't my mothers. My first kiss was literally a extremely tongue twist. I have blue-balls badly though, didn't jerk me off or anything, just a lot of touching. I am seeing her tomorrow night after she finishes work, shes picking me up and im going to her apartment (her parents are loaded and they bought her an apartment and lives by herself)
I am just really happy atm, I can't explain it more than that, but I already feel I can't have any reason for being sad or angry anymore. This whole experience was just a distant dream for me my entire life, never felt like I'd ever get it. Now it's happening. I feel like I've won the lottery or something. The high I am on right now is fucking insane.
I just, feel confident now in a way I can't imagine. Oh well, tomorrow is the big day I guess. If this can happen for me I know for a fact it can happen for every single one of you. I honestly feel like we're all going to make it boys. It's taken 29 years, but I am there now. I'm going to go lay down and rest now and probably have the most satisfying sleep of my life since hitting puberty.
>>27210493
>be 29, but look about 23-25.
>be HH-KV never had a GF
And you haven't connected the dots yet?
Enjoy ageing like a normie and missing out on wizardhood, traitor.
>>27214448
This is almost certainly a hooker by the sounds of all this.
congrats OP, hope everything works out for you
>>27214910
Nice dude, good luck tomorrow. Now it's time for you to leave this place and never come back...for you are now a normie. Goodbye OP
>>27214910
Goodbye OP you have been chosen
>>27214910
How'd you acheive all that?
>>27210493
She's not your gf it's only a date and good luck things go well
>>27214448
The fact she made up with you at first date make her slut desu senpai.
>>27210493
Something is wrong with her and something is wrong with you and your cousin decided to match you up. What that something is could be anything, but maybe she's just shy and awkward.
>>27214910
>>27214910
>>27214910
>>27214910
>>27214910
Nice job OP
This is inspiring
>>27214910
I'm happy for you man. This is one of the best threads I've read on /r9k/ in a long time.
A small tip for if you have sex, start gentle and slow and only go full power when she's all warmed up.
Goodluck!
>>27214910
I can't wait to experience what you have op! I'm only 19 and I kissed a fat girl one time and I thought that was heaven. You've got the real deal dude, I'm jealous haha
Don't fuck it up, you're basically in there!
>>27214910
It's good to see that there's still hope for some robots. If you want the rest of your life to be like you have to leave 4chan forever. If you have any bit of sanity you'll leave this place and never return. Good luck out there.
>>27215159
he's 10 years older than you. No you're not jealous
Good Job OP
You have been voted off the island.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFjdQx5L2LY
>>27210991
take some pics (not of her of course or when she's there) of whatever you did that night and post them for us.
>>27214910
Next time use a tripcode lad, that is why they are here
You should livesteam this
>29 years old
Damn there's still hope
Feels good
I cry in the end
>>27215288
This, so much this
Thank you OP
>>27214910
What a glorious ending. I knew you could do it, OP.
>>27214910
OP, take a minute to fully understand what you have achieved. You had sexual contact with a qt 9 years younger than yourself.
you arent a robot anymore, you're a godamn fucking hero. You're living the dream.
So go now, get what is yours, leave this place, make us fucking proud.
>>27214448
brings a tear to my eye
>>27214448
>>27214910
Thought this would happen.. I am the real OP.
After the movie, she was feeling hungry. As I was informing her of the fast food near my area, I jokingly suggested I could cook her some food instead. She got super excited at the idea. She also moved close to me, grabbed my arm and rested her head on my shoulder. I was so nervous I couldn't tell her I was joking.
After like 10 seconds of intense paralyzation, I got up and went to the kitchen. I was panicking. Really sweaty too. Had to wipe my armpits and forehead.
I have no idea on how to cook as my mother does it, but luckily for me, she had prepared food earlier. The kitchen has a door, so all I did was rattle some dishes and pans under the sound of the kitchen fan. I did one checkup on her with an apron on just to make sure she wouldn't come in.
After 10-15 minutes of cooking, I came out with my mum's microwaved vegetable curry. She said it tasted delicious and asked if I was a vegan as it was all vegetables. I told her no but I knew she was. She looked puzzled. Then I ripped my pants off in one motion and my towering erect penis was revealed.
She let out a devious smile.
This happened two hours ago. We had sex 1000 times since then. She cheated on me twice and I on her once. We had two aryan twins. She divorced me, took the kids and the house. Now I am 40y/o homeless, living in my car. My hobby is alcoholism and hookers. Does that count?
AMA. 68 y/o graduate of 4chan's r9k here.
Dont make me say it.
>>27214589
>Implying all Stacies aren't such rampant sluts that their actions are indistinguishable from those of a whore
>>27213881
Cool. Now fuck off normie scum
>>27210493
OP here.
She fucking flaked when I made tried my advances. FUCK. /rtg/ I got so close but yet so far. Don't know if I will ever get another chance.
I asked her after I made somthing to eat (macaroni cheese) if she wants to chill on the bed and watch a film. I chose pi cause of the anon that said it was good. So we kind of just lie there. IT WAS AWKWARD AS HELL, and I think she saw the GODDAMN CONDOMS! I moved fast to swipe them out of the way though, so not sure what she saw, I just kind of said, there was a wrinkle on the bedsheet..
Anyway I tried It kept going through my mind what I should do, should I just lean in and kiss, or lighten the mood. but wtf is there to say. I eventually kind of lean in then ask her if I can kiss. She kind of looked at me shyly and kind of smilied and said, maybe later. So we finish the last 30 mins and says she he a good time, maybe till next time. FUKING MAYBEE TILL NEXT TIME. I suppose I still have a chance right? normies say maybe till next time, right?
>>27216724
Damn anon, have a pepe!
>>27216724
dont tell me you made mac n cheese to a girl while putting on fucking pi of all movies, you could have put on eraserhead while you were at it
am i being trolled
the whole story sounds like his dad bought him a hooker but wanted to make it seem real. You just don't ask girls to come to your place and then start kissing them unless you're Chad and OP clearly isn't. Not to mention his dad gave him condoms I mean wtf?
>>27215886
b-but was this the real OP and all was ruse?
>>27216837
Robots below told me it would work. FUCK! but I doudth it wasn't the movie was just my chadlessness...
>>27211722
>>27211301
>>27216983
it is a really good movie tho and mac and cheese is a nice meal
you did your best anon see you on the other side
>>27215886
Hahahah goddamnit I actually laughed. You son of a bitch. Funny post mang...
who the fuck is the real op then
>>27217973
Dunno, first two report back posts seem legit though. OP would have to prove it was him somehow.
>>27210991
When she comes to the door, open it and start clapping.
>>27218056
No dude, the first two OPs said they started touching each other on the first date, doesn't seem legit.
This entire thread is bait.
>>27218142
No matter what you think, if you're able to initiate it isn't that difficult.
>meet daughter of my priest for first time (not Roman Catholic)
>a year older than me or so, probably
>very attractive
>beautiful voice
>religiously conservative, given the sect
>pretty much perfect
>can't stop picturing us living life together
>she looked at me over her coffee mug
>terrified of saying anything and she goes to Uni away from me
WHY CAN'T I JUST FUCKING TALK TO PEOPLE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, FUCK
>>27218298
>Christian girl
>goes to uni
I'm sorry man, but she's very likely riding the cock carousel with gusto. Catholic or not, my personal experience with Christian girls is always crazy nymphos that are up for all kinds of unusual shit. That whole forbidden aspect that religion adds to ilicit sex just drives em nuts I guess.
The craziest party I ever attended was aged 13 at a Christian school mate's first house party alone. All those high strung Christian children wound up having a god damn orgy right there in the living room. It was fairly ironic winding up the chaste one in a room full of prim and proper Christian kids having a sex party.
>>27213881
congrats brother. now get out, you fucking normie scum
>>27218406
Nah, this is a pretty strict group, and everyone seems pretty dedicated. Plus, her father is the priest, and he is absurdly charismatic, so I think he would instill good morals. Seemed pretty traditional too; and it probably helps that she would have to confess to her own father.
Congratulations OP. I remember getting that feeling of all my firsts when I was 22. The newfound confidence is great and I've managed to get with girls since then because of it.
Grats again, good luck on your future endeavors.
>>27214910
Good stuff. I'm happy for you. Now I'm gonna have to ask for your gun and your badge.
Fucking normie shithead. Chad thundercock fucking cunt normie asshole
>>27213881
CONGRATS TO YOU MY FAVORITE ANON
>>27213881
you could've been a wizard mang
>>27210493
fucking tell your parents to go or take somwhere else, its not bad that you live with them, but man don't make her meet them what the fuck.
>>27214448
>>27215886
>>27214910
Ignore all of these. I am the real OP.
After exiting the bathroom I went back to her and she was getting undressed. She took off her jacket and her bra from inside, let me touch her tits and olay with them. She said they were cold and giggled. We ended up finishing the movie and watching the third batman movie afterwards and I couldn't pay any attention to the screen
I felt very hot but excited to a degree I never felt before. I wanted to have sex but my eyes were getting red out of excitement. I was trying to guide her hand to my zipper and make her jerk me. She stopped making out and giggled and said "sure" and made her way down my shirt. She was just about to take my cock out she unzipped my fanny pack by accident and all the spaghetti fell out. I tried to clean it up with my sock and she starting crying and I apologised and said don't worry mlady Ill fix this. Tipped my fedora and threw a pizza on the roof after sciencing the shit out of it
Suffice to say, she now loves me as my gf and I'm gonna marry her. Guys have hope
>>27210493
She's not coming over. If she didn't go immediately with you, she won't go with you.
>>27214910
Now the only thing you need to do is to not get destroyed when she ultimately gets tired of you.
The storm has only calmed friend. It's time to ride that longship into that raging sea that is life and conquer it or be swallowed whole.
Take what you have learned from this and use it. This is not the goal, this is merely a stepping stone to unlocking your true potential as not only a man, but as a citizen of the world.
Trim your neckbeard, shower, hide your anime shit, and don't act needy.
>>27214503
definately don't do that, this is 14 year old advice
