Need a forensics genius on /r9k/ to tell me how fucked I am
>Talking to this girl
>tells me her ex boyfriend has been stalking her
>one day she calls me crying
>tells me he was knocking on her bedroom window
>my roommate knows this guys friend
>find out where he lives
>no visitor parking
>walk 1 mile away from nearest public parking
>rain starts coming down hard
>I hear the tv and figure he is ignoring me
>knock on door and scream for 25 minutes
>soaking wet and about to piss my pants I decide to just head home
>driving home at 2am I see my friends ex stumbling home drunkenly
> I park my car on side of the road
>pull drawstrings on hoodie so only my eyes show
>grab wrench from backseat
>I start walking towards him in a rage. I was just angry at him at this point despite initially just wanting to tell him to fuck off
>he notices me when I'm about 10 yards away
>throws his wallet at me and drunk jogs away at a walking pace
>I come down on the back of his head with the wrench
>he's laying on the ground in the rain motionless
>empty my entire bladder on his body
>drive home
Would police investigate this hard enough to find out it was me somehow? I don't think anyone would expect me or think I had motive.
>believing roasties at face value
>assaulting a drunk guy you don't even know
He was probably at the bar getting wasted and thought you were gonna rob him so he threw his wallet at you.
Nice going champ.
stopped reading halfway through, sounds like normie problems to me.
Leave this place forever.
>believing roasties at face value
This is something you never, ever, ever fucking do OP. Even if he actually was abusive, it very likely turned her on, and she just used you as emotional support for her cognitive dissonance.
>>27204708
This is most likely fake but if it's not you probably just killed a guy for no reason.
>>27204784
>>27204854
>>27204893
This, you could have just took his money and that would have been it
>>27204708
no the police aren't going to check the piss to see who pissed it, also if it's raining it will wash off. also lol that's pretty funny, he's probably dead now though
>>27204708
What kind of retard would whiteknight that hard for a slut and assault a random guy without hearing his side of the story?
This probably isn't true but if it is the same girl who called you would tell police about calling you and would suspect you as a killer
>>27204961
>The girl finds out her ex died
>She remembers telling OP about her ex
>Calls police
>Police have no evidence but pretend they do
>OP cracks and confesses.
>>27204708
You know girls tell you these things to shit test you right? You failed via white knighting
Bretty fugged, enjoy prison
>>27205123
This desu famalamadamogcommentsareannoyingansstupidthisboardhasntbeenoriginalinyears
>>27204708
Oh god I can see it now. Some fatass neckbeard thinking he's going full /k/ommando by drawing his hoodie around his eyes before sucker-punching someone with a wrench.
>>27205123
I'll eliminate that problem if I need to
girls tell you those stories, exaggerate shit because they want to see how you react. It doesn't mean she's actually scared of him, or hell he doesn't even need to be doing anyhing i.e. there is no stalker
dependeing on the girl she might want you to comfort her, or call her out on her bullshit, or make her call the cops, or say "I understand that must be frightening here let me comfort you", could be tonnes of shit
the idea is the girl doesn't really know the reaction she wants, but when it happens she goes "aha so THAT's what I wanted". women see men as these tools to understand themselves
because they're stupid. the most perplexing and fascinating thing to a bitch is her feelings, and her entire life is spent trying to find out more about how and why she feels the way she does.
you see this clearly with girls wanting the "college experience". what's actually going on is the women wants to see what sort of feelings are elicited in herself when she has these new experiences (like new boyfriends, guys, relationships, sex, etc), and it fascinates her, and she "learns" things about herself
you know how a woman tries anal one time, and wont do it with her next boyfriend. In her mind, she tried the anal to LEARN something about herself. It wasn't about the boyfriend, it was about her own self-obsession and the reaction elicited in herself. She LEARNED that she didn't like it, and now that she knows that about herself, she thinks she's grown and matured as a person.
that's what growing and maturing is for a bitch. it's when a woman discovers the emotion or feeling that gets elicited in herself from some particular stimulus. Women are really solipsistic. They like men in an instrumental way. They like the way men make them feel (eg safe, wanted), essentially a guy is a tool a female uses to produce feelings that she desires in her own private experience. that's literally the extent of a women's love. The best guy is the guy that can induce the most exciting feeling
You realize by pissing on him you have them all the evidence they need right? Did you try to hide his body?
>>27204708
How hard are you even whiteknighting people like you are the cancer of this earth shes not gonna fug you because u did this u fucking asshole
Probably fake, but here to say that I hope you go to jail.
whiteknighted so hard you killed a man, nice, shes still not gonna fuck you though ;]
>>27205452
>The best guy is the guy that can induce the most exciting feeling
Which is why they always happily go back to their abusive bfs instead of dating nice guys. Nice guys are not exciting.
>>27205467
No I did not and my DNA is not in any government systems regardless
>>27205643
Well it is now, isn't it? Your DNA will be on a watch list and you'll pop up some day.
>>27204708
sent this thread to crime-stoppers
>>27204708
My expert opinion dictates that you just confessed to a serious crime on a highly visible and public web forum. You're pretty much fucked, OP. Have fun in federal prison.
>>27205452
this desu famalam
OP you should be running every word she says to you through a filter. Can't risk your safety over some lying roastie.
>>27204708
>possibly killing a random defenceless drunk person for a roastie
>being this fucking beta
you have no idea whether she was lying, exaggerating or telling the truth
you just fucked up some dude without hard evidence that he was doing something bad
even if he was stalking her what gives you the right to beat the shit out of him when you dont even know him, just tell the cops and leave it at that
fuck you op
kek OP
