>in love with one of my closest friends
>she knows
>we're still friends and hang out
>fucking painful to be around her
>I invited her to meet tomorrow, just the two of us
>she agreed
We'll probably just hang out and talk at first, she'll ask me why I'm smiling (I'm always smiling when I'm around her and I don't even notice). Maybe we'll talk about my feelings for her again.
If that doesn't ruin the mood, we might go out to have dinner. Maybe hold hands while we're talking and then I'll get a kiss on the cheek for a goodbye.
All of this will feel like a date, although when we both know it isn't and afterwards I'll feel awful because I will never be with her.
How stupid/10 am I?
How pathetic/10 am I?
>>27203955
>>27203955
jus stop
>>27203955
same thing happening to me. it only gets worse. let me tell you anon, if she gets a boyfriend you will seriously want to die.
yea you're dumb and you're setting yourself up to be extremely miserable when she inevitably finds a boyfriend, because you're just some friend to her
she enjoys the attention you're giving her
You need to stop being friends with her. Cut her out of your life.
>>27203955
Cancel the date. She won't be mad, trust me.
you gotta go for it man if she means that much to you and you can't handle being friends then there isn't any point in waiting around
if you tell her how you feel then you aren't pathetic or stupid, thats what a man would do
it would probably be a big risk OP, but if you really are in love with her then it would be better to not see her at all than to remain friends and always have it hanging over you
the longer you wait the more she will see you as a friend than as a potential partner
tell her exactly how you feel op because either outcome will free you from this torture
>>27204094
don't do this. I did the same thing and the only thing that happened was she told me she liked me as a friend only and then we stopped talking forever.
>>27204124
better than hanging around like a little cuck and becoming her beta orbiter
>>27203955
Ask her if you can be her emotional boyfriend. There's literally nothing wrong with having both a physical and an emotional bf in 2016.
>>27204178
C U C K
U
C
K
IGNORE THIS KEK OP
Tell her that you can't be around her anymore. No explanations. Walk away. It will hurt. Press on regardless.
>>27203955
Why does she hold hands and kiss you when she knows you love her? Total case of leading you on my good friend.
>really cool girl
>lots in common and have good fun together
>really want to ask her out because I'm curious how gf'ing that will turn out
>afraid to ruin things between us
What do? I don't catch feels so I'm not in love nor a friendzoned beta but I really don't know if I'm willing to make things awkward with this girl in exchange for a chance at gf.
Anon, make this like your last time with her.. because if that "date" happens and you dont go for that pussy (or at least her mouth), then it is going to be the end of the story (same thing happened to me). I suggest you to go, but... look at it as the ultimatum, your "all-in" stake. Cut her out if all go wrong, because theres no gonna be a way out. Be good to yourself.
>>27204094
I already told her. We were both kind of drunk unfortunately. She told me she wasn't into me and will never be, then we had a huge fight and didn't talk to each other for two weeks.
Then she approached me, said I was too important to her and she doesn't want to lose me. We met, talked about the fight and made up.
I don't know what more I can do here. But I cannot just cut her out of my life like those guys
>>27204038
>>27204228
suggest.
>>27204062
I can't. We went out with a couple of friends on Monday. When I was quietly sitting in the corner, she came to me and asked me what was wrong. I said I didn't want to tell, but she said I could tell her anything.
Told her I'd rather talk to her alone and we loosely set up this date.
Just asked her if it's still on a few hours ago. Can't cancel now and I don't actually want to. I enjoy being around her too much.
>>27204233
We did that before I even had feelings for her and we try to not let things be weird now that she knows, so we act like we did before.
>>27204470
Well then.... It's going to suck for you my friend.
OP listen to me. Just cut off contact with her. Do it slowly. Stop responding to her calls, texts, and avoid her in person. In the long run, it'll be better.
I had a friend that I knew since we were kids. I had a crush on her in high school. I realized that I had to cut contact for the best, I haven't hung out with her for 3 months now. She's reached out a few times, but I think at this point she's forgotten about me.
>>27203955
Op do this, Unless you want to feel pain for the rest of your time being around her. If something doesn't happen on your date, then it never will.
Best to just give up hope on these things.
>>27204589
>>27204294
Just go for it. If you're good friends, she can look past it and if you're ready to, you can still be friends afterwards.
Just give it a try.
>>27204346
>>27204589
I can't avoid her forever, we're going to run into each other eventually, because I'm also close friends with her best friend. Even when we weren't talking for two weeks, we still met at that friend's place multiple times.
Also, we have some of the same uni classes.
And I'm pretty sure I don't want to lose a close friendship. She's an important person in my life.
I was in the same exact situation.
Every time she told me to hang out I said yes but that was it. Knowing that she probably ha sex and one day she'll have a bf, I gradually separated myself from her. We are still friends, but I care less.
It will still hurt, this is inevitable, it's our condition as humans.
>>27204768
I thought I had an important person in my life one time. Then I realized I was wrong. Now all of you anons are the only important people to me.
I'm in the exact same position OP, it's scary how similar it is.
I'm more advanced than you, so I'll tell you what happened on my end.
I tried cutting contact with her after I told her I loved her and obsessed about it for a few weeks. I managed to hold out for two weeks before she came up to me and I broke down saying I couldn't lose her since she's the only person who makes me happy. And that that happiness I have when I'm with her is enough to make the sadness I feel when I know I can't have her bearable. We've staid friends, still best friends, and she still tells me all of her secrets. Nothing you do will ever work. If she makes her mind about not loving you, then it doesn't matter what you'll do, even making her miss you a lot will not fix it.
If you truly wish not to lose her, then you'll have to toughen up and stay by her side, even when she gets a boyfriend. It'll hurt, I know it did for me when she was in a relationship with her ex (also a good friend of mine), but you have to preserve, because if you're anything like me, you can't stand being one second away from her, so cutting contact is not an option. I still hope that one day she'll start loving me, but she has practically told me that she never will.
>>27204470
>She told me she wasn't into me and will never be
She was nice enough to tell you the truth with a little help from alcohol, so what are you trying to achieve exactly? Are you a masochist?
>>27204998
Also in a similar situation, are we honorable for sticking through it for our loved one or are we cucks??
Sup Alex
>>27203955
Your reatrded OP
Just forget about this whore and stop being her friend
Your a friendzoned beta fgt who'll wont ask her out
>>27204294
Nothing risked, nothing gained
Take a risk friendo
>>27203955
Beta/10
>>27204795
I hope my feelings for her will disappear someday, but it's not very likely that it's going to be soon.
>>27204998
Crazy similar situation.
Yes, I can't stand not being with her regularly. I want nothing more than to see her everyday, because I'm happy when she's there.
I know I will never be with her and I've accepted that.
Still, it makes me feel so bad when she's always talking herself down, like when she said I wasn't really in love with her because nobody could ever love her and she'd end up single because noone would ever marry someone like her.
I just can't hear her talking about herself like that. She's great and she has to know that. I accept that she can't love me, but she will find somebody someday.
>>27205114
I'm not trying to achieve anything, I just want to be friends and be close to her.
>>27203955
Beta/10original post
>>27205442
Stringing you along
she is but good friend
Dump asap she's using you as a tampon and has no interest in you give up pussy
>>27204768
Drown your sorrow in the arms of other women.
Watch then, how you finding another girl sends your current crush into panic as she will lose a "backup" guy and she'll suddenly have feelings for you.
That will be your true temptation, your test. Either way, you'll get a life lesson.
Remember what I said.
>>27204768
Don't avoid her forever, when you see her, just act like normal, but don't make any effort to see her.
Right before you start that, you could also try asking her if she has any friends she could set you up with. She'll probably say no (because that would take away the emotional support you give her) but it would establish some independence from her. Hell, no time like the present, do it tomorrow. There won't be anybody else around to get in the way.
>>27203955
LISTEN TO ME YOU LITTLE SHIT
SHE'S USING YOU
YOU MAKE HER FEEL POWERFUL
YOU OFFER HER EVERYTHING AND SHE OFFERS YOU NOTHING
CUT CONTACT IMMEDIATELYHonestly I'm just mad because I used to be in this exact situation and it took me years of being in denial and ignoring my friends' advice before I came to my senses
But really, you only hurt yourself by staying in contact with her
you're going to have to grow a pair and lay it straight out for her - tell her that she either wants to be more than friends, or you just can't be around you anymore
women hate this type of shit, and i already know i'll get shit for it, but it's really you only good option. you are already her semi-orbiter, and it's just going to get worse from her on out. soon she'll start telling you about the guy she wants to fuck or guys she's interested in and ask your opinion on them, and every time this happens you will go home miserable and possibly suicidal.
lay it out now before it's too late.
>>27205719
>try asking her if she has any friends she could set you up with. She'll probably say no
She'll only say no if she doesn't have any single friends (or any that she wants to set me up with). She said she'll help me find someone before.
>>27205648
Probably wont work because of what I described above.
>>27205741
I'm not in denial, I know nothing will ever happen and I should move on.
>>27204998
>>27205172
No, you guys are pussies. Or still in highschool.
>>27205855
>Probably wont work because of what I described above.
I haven't read everything above, but I bet it's some classical cuck excuse. It's not like you're the first person to be in this situation. Usually the outcomes are the following:
- you somehow impress her/force her into a potentially uncomfortable one sided short lived relationship, where at the end the friendship gets destroyed either way.
- you stay friends, you watch her get involved in relationships with other people, maybe even sharing her boyfriend drama with you, as you're her "friend", while you scream inside.
- you cut contact, stop hanging out with her, spare yourself some suffering, eventhough that might be uncomfortable because of friends that you have in common with her.
- you stay friends, you get over her by dating other women, she might or might not get jealous at one point when she realizes that suddenly "she wants you". Maybe not.
Personally I like the last option, and I'm not seeping through all the replies to find out exactly why that "wouldn't work".
>>27206031
I meant in that same exact comment above.
She offered to help me find somebody else, so why would she suddenly panic and have feelings for me?
That's what I meant by "won't work".
>Personally I like the last option
Me too, but this might take a few months.
>>27203955
OP, I've been the girl in this situation. You have to cut contact. Seriously, it's the only way.
I'm ashamed for how I've hurt people who were very dear to me. Maybe one day your friend will realize what she's put you through and will feel like I do now too, but right now she doesn't have the maturity to cut things off herself.
She loves the attention she gets from you, and probably does genuinely enjoy your company, but she probably doesn't realize how much this tortures you--or, if she does, then she doesn't care. Which would make her an even shittier person.
>>27206258
But wouldn't we both feel bad if we cut contact?
I feel like it's better the way it is right now, even though I'm still hurting.
Maybe I'll talk to her about this tomorrow.
>>27206528
C U T
O
N
T
A
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