>Moderately overweight middle aged man comes into the surgery
>Has been urinating far more frequently than normal
>Wants me to give him a blood test for diabetes
>Give him a lethal dose of morphine instead
Opiates cause urinary retention, so this is actually a good cure for his ailment.
>>27203069
Whoa look at Mr evidence based practice over here
>>27203006
If he was a robot he probably appreciated the help with killing himself
>man comes in for urine test
>give him lethal overdose of urine
>>27203069
False Doc SmartAss!
it causes constipation not urinary rentention.
>>27203203
Real doctor here. Yes opiates cause urinary retention as well, not to the degree that it causes constipation though
>>27203371
>Real doctor here
Is your name Harold Shipman?
>>27203371
Oh yeah? Then explain the piss bottle collection in my room right now
>btfo
I approve of this meme
>tfw don't have an endless supply of morphine
-54m50n
>>27203446
Yea well, I've been a heroin addict so I speak with my experience and I had a huge collection of piss bottles but no shit local mall plastic bags.
>Attractive young man comes to my apartment
>Wants me to have intercourse with him
>Sever his carotid artery and keep his entire skeleton in the bottom drawer of a filing cabinet and his heart, biceps, and portions of his legs in the freezer for later consumption instead.
>Masturbate
