Who else /cripplingdepression/ here?
How do you guys cope with it and not kill yourself?
>>27184780
>How do you guys cope with it and not kill yourself?
Alcohol.
I stay sober, until I really feel like killing myself, then I get drunk, and still feel like killing myself, but after a little while, the reasons I feel like killing myself (tfwnogf) subside.
Then I sober up, and the cycle repeats.
Cool thing about depression is that it leaves me too apathetic and exhausted to actually carry out any suicidal thoughts.
I wonder if that would change if I got medicated, might actually be able to accomplish one thing in my life.
>>27184780
I've found a lot of ways to distract like films and music, so now I'm depressed but at least I'm a connoisseur
>>27184780
But I am planning on killing myself, tomorrow actually.
Which bridge should I jump off of?
Top one is 2 lanes, less foot traffic, and the ledge is easier to get up on and sit on.
Bottom one is 4 lanes, gets quite a bit of foot traffic, and the ledge isn't nearly as easy to get up on. The ledge is also smaller, so much more chance of slipping off instead of jumping when I'm ready.
I'm thinking if I want to make a scene I'd go for the bottom. If I want to go quietly I take the top one. I can't decide whether I want to make a scene or not.
>>27185060
> that cry-for-help tier height
>>27185087
The pics don't give the heights justice. Top one is about 130ft, 2nd one is about 150ft, which is more than enough to kill someone, i.e. myself.
>>27185060
>making a scene is the important decision
Although I know this is a bluff, considering the off-chance it might not be, the ground on the top one looks as though it may be softer than the choice you have of landing headfirst onto the rocks at the bottom of the second.
I would go second due to this.
>>27184823
This anons got the right idea. That and memes.
The only real thing stopping me from killing myself is my family. I couldn't do that to them.
If they all miraculously die spontaneously together then I'd probably do it ASAP. I know it's selfish but I'd be so relieved rather than mourn them. Don't mean that I don't love them to death - but they're the reason I'm prolonging this shit existence
>>27185060
Those are some pretty nice bridges tbf
Drinking until I start singing & then passing out.
Plus, why should you give the world the satisfaction of you committing suicide? I want to go out in a blaze of glory, do something to change the world but I'd be fucked if I knew what to do.
>>27184780
I really don't like that image.
>>27184780
I've accumulated a lot of hobbies, gardening, koi keeping, chicken raising, got a shitty jeep Cherokee to constantly work on, I learned how to cook and am working on baking, making dank breads every week now. My family is surprised that I started doing this, if only they knew the real reason.
By binge drinking.
>>27184823
Thanks for reminding me anon. I forgot I still have half a bottle of rum. Someone's going to hate himself slightly less tonight
>>27184823
>tfw only 18 so always sober
I just want to drink myself to sleep every night and drown the pain.
>>27184780
I have suicidal thoughts at least 3-4 days a week
no joking, but my heart beats faster when i do and i start sweating a lot. It's like if i really wanted to do it, but i can only panic then it just get worse because i can't even kill myself.
>>27184780
i smoke weed, play video games, listen to music and im responsible for the lives of 4 fish
i cant just leave them
>>27185255
Top bridge is pretty as fuck. Do that one. And don't make a scene. It will be nice to have some serenity with your last thoughts and without bothering other people.
>>27184891
I always suspected this explained suicide being a side effect of certain antidepressants.
Is it normal to not be sure whether you're depressed or not? I feel like I might be, but then I read about how shit others have it and have doubts.
I really don't. I just kind of sit around not making progress towards anything. I've dropped too many courses in college to be able to drop anymore, so I just stopped going to college all together. Haven't had any work in 2 years because I can't be bothered to go apply anywhere (dad made me go work for the time that I did).
Think about killing myself daily, but I don't really feel anything anymore. I put a gun in my mouth one time after loading it and pulling back the hammer to see if I felt any sense of panic, but I didn't feel anything at all and just felt so bored and tired.
>smoke weed
>watch movies
>exercise regularly, stretch before bed
>eat pretty clean
>meditate/breathing exercises
>smoke weed
>spend time with senpai for the sake of it
>work on my car
I've come close the past few days, no hope left desu
How is anyone supposed to fill this aching black hole through their chest? I don't understand. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy
>>27185338
>got a shitty jeep Cherokee to constantly work on
Holy shit, same. Just installed new cat converter today.
Its a fucking piece of shit and I hate/love it but ive learned so much about cars from having to fix it and you really do feel a sense of accomplishment when your driving around after a repair/upgrade
>>27185225
Some peeps are legit suicidal but most just never wanted to exist in the first place, there's a difference.
Music. I'm doing ok right now, I've not had an episode since November. September-November 2015 was really bad for it, suicide occupied my mind 24/7, it was probably the worst I've ever been. As of now it's just coping with the feeling of being worthless failure, atleast the suicidal thoughts haven't been as prevalent.
>>27184823
>Alcohol
9 year chronically depressed alcoholic here, 4 months sober. you are going down a dark path anon. You may not realize it now but when you do finally sober up. you will realize how much of a degenerate you have been and how much time you've wasted.
>>27185303
Hell yea, if i were to go out, my strategy would be this: pull loans out from as many banks as possible and start gambling it all. If lose than an hero but if win, then next step would be to hire jet, hire hookers, get drugs and get loose as fuck until money disappears then maybe contemplate an hero again.
>>27184891
>>27187379
I think that's the accepted reasoning. Can't kill yourself if you don't have the energy to get out of bed
>>27184780
I do /diy/ shit to distract myself, still here because I'm terrified of becoming a vegetable and have normies keep me on life support with no escape.
I'm actually struggling right now. I dont drink or do drugs so what else can I do to get rid of this feeling?
I don't want to die, I just don't want to be live.
Well I've been on/off severely depressed for almost 10 years now (I'm 30). What helps me immensely is the fact that I recently got a physical job where I'm outside the whole time. It's really physically demanding but I have a whole theory that physical work will increase your oxygen capacity and obviously it feels great after a long day of work. The first day after work I felt great, but I can slowly feel myself slipping back into it. It's pretty much a chronic thing, and it takes extreme amounts of anything to push my brain's chemicals over the threshold of depressed/indifferent to happy/manic.
>>27188942
*alive
Fuck me
>>27188957
What kind of work do you do? I used to be involved with a petrochemical repair company until they offloaded me onto one of their warehouses.
That work was hell.
>make smootie with 177cherries
>get a basket and plan out a 'picnic' with your friend
>go to spot like a park or something
>place the 'picnic' scene
>boyamithirsty.wewlad.gif
>drink smootie
>friend just watches
>the friend is death
>>27188997
Right now I work as a handyman and make pretty shit money, but I don't have to answer to anyone, which is great for the gaping flaws in my personality I've developed over the past decade. I'm constantly busy too, so I can't really be distracted with how shitty my life or life in general is. Also again, hard physical labor feels great if not in the moment, there's nothing like eating a good meal and drinking a beer if you're into that sort of thing, after a hard day's work. I forgot to mention also, as someone who worked as a concrete laborer on/off for a handful of years, there is a big difference between working a physical job in a healthy environment, to what you did, which I'm assuming wasn't very healthy and/or very stressful.
>>27184780
just remembering im too pussy to do it helps.
I'm so fucking anxious i cant even sleep most nights tho cuz i could have to go to court for something soon. may just give me teh balls to do it
>>27187875
I have wasted my life trying to be happy, without avail. At least I can be drunk, and pretend I am happy.
I want to die for fuck's sake. You think I'm concerned about how well I spend my time?
>>27184780
Throw myself at philosophy. I'll either make peace with it or at least be well-informed when I finally decide to end it
>>27185497
>but my heart beats faster when i do and i start sweating a lot.
I dunno man you should probably stop fanning the flames. Real talk.
>>27184780
I bottle my depression up
Vidya. I have to be really immerse into it to forget who I am.
>Arma
>Ark
>Verdun
>War Thunder.
>>27184780
I am clinically depressed, among a stew of other disorders. It was all based around worrying. One day I decided to just say "Fuck it". I stopped worrying about anything. It fucking worked man. And somehow, everything just managed to keep on working. Before, when I would have to do something I didn't want to, or was afraid that I couldn't, I would stress about it to no end. Now I just put some headphones on, say FUCK IT and do it to whatever degree I feel like, and that's apparently just fine.
So I'd say you should try nihilism. Not the "Ohh boo who me I'm gonna wear black and talk about how the world is pointless and so nothing I do means anything, I should go do drugs to try and forget for a moment how shit life is"
I mean the "Ohh fuck yeah imma wear whatever i want and think about how the world is pointless and so nothing I do means anything, I should go do drugs because they are fucking awesome and life is god damn great because I want it to be great"
Seriously dude, think about why you are depressed then immediately say FUCK THAT. Imma smile right now and go dance like an idiot in the window and if anyone sees me SO FUCKING WHAT. They should be PAYING to see you, who the fuck are they anyway? They are fucking NOBODY compared to you. Go do what the fuck you want because you're fucking you man. SOmeone insults you, tells you off just smile at them and laugh at the absurdity that a fucking ant thinks it can do shit to the God that is yourself?
>>27184780
I don't, I'm a weak loser that doesn't try to self improve in any way. I probably should kill myself
>Who else /cripplingdepression/ here?
Where do you think you are, again?
>How do you guys cope with it and not kill yourself?
Killing myself seems difficult. I sometimes toss around the idea of starving myself to death.
>>27191245
>I'm a weak loser that doesn't try to self improve in any way.
What caused that?
Don't say "me". Your are not causa sui.
WHY are you a weak loser?
I cut myself today
oooh yes I did something very naughty and naughty boys must be punished
OWwIE!!!!
Easy. I haven't killed myself because I know my families stance on suicide. If you kill yourself, you're a weak person and a coward. I'm already a massive disappointment so I'm waiting for something out of my control to do me in.
>crippling depression
>watched the clone wars cartoon to get my mind off it
>an episode or two a night
>it worked well
>finished the series
Nothing takes my mind off the hurt now.
>>27190956
Assuming this is not pasta - If thinking "fuck it" solves your anxiety issues, you didn't have much of them to begin with, or any at all really.
I had a major depressive spell about 2.5 years ago that I've never fully recovered from. Ever since I've mostly felt numb or empty or no emotion at all for the most part. I stopped enjoying music last fall.
I've been extremely suicidal for about a year. At first I bought some bleach and would fill up a cup in the bathroom and stare at it for awhile. I still have bleach but I haven't done much with it.
Reasons I haven't done anything is because i have a job I feel like I should try and stay at for now esp with a bunch of coworkers leaving, I don't want to hurt my mom, I was worried I'd survive and end up making things worse, also I'm worried death won't fix anything like as in maybe I'll go to hell or something.
distractions like shows and sometimes movies. vidya doesn't help at all. weed used to help but these days I'm almost as depressed when I'm high. I get even more depressed when I realize that the bad thoughts come back when I sober up.
I spend a lot of time in bed thinking "kill yourself". Finally got health insurance through my mom but I don't think it covers therapy and medicine. I'm gonna find out though.
>>27191565
but you'll be dead anon, who cares what your family's stance on suicide is if you're dead?
also if anything the fact that they were aware you knew their views on suicide but just didnt give a fuck will make them respect your decision to kill yourself that much more
>>27187821
It's a great thing to fuck around with, but I'm totally stuck at this point, funny that you mention the cat, the last thing I did was cut mine off in hopes of solving an overheating problem, but yeah it didn't solve shit, think I'm going to replace the radiator for a second time.
