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Anonymous
2016-03-15 21:05:00 Post No. 27178688
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Anonymous
2016-03-15 21:05:00
Post No. 27178688
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Okay, so this is my first greentext story as I'm new here.
>I'm a junior in high school.
>I'm hanging out with my SO and our friends at a table outside our lunch room.
>She makes a witty joke about me and I punch her arm.
>Out of fucking nowhere I hear this bloodcurdling shriek, like a pig squeal "WREEE."
>Everyone's heads jolt over to the source of the noise and we're met with a sight that actually made me gag.
>It was this morbidly obese guy that looked like he was in his 30s, he had this stupid looking hat on, poorly made steam punk goggles, an unwashed beard that crawled all the way down his neck, a rumpled trench coat concealing a Hannah Montana shirt that fit terribly, and he was covered head-to-toe in these mystery stains that make me sick the more I think about them. I don't even know if he was wearing pants or not.
>He was standing behind a column and glaring out at my entire group but after I punched her shoulder he began "briskly" waddling over to me with a look of murder on his face.
>I just get up and stare at him, an eyebrow cocked wondering whats going on.
>My friends laugh as they see him stopping twice to take a breath and by the time he's to me, he's drenched in sweat.
>When he finally makes it to me he leans back and throws one of the most hilariously slow and telegraphed punches ever, he even makes the stupid punching through pose despite clearly missing me like he's some sort of anime character.
>I ask him what the hell is going on.
>He screams, at a deceptively high pitch and volume, that I just assaulted a "beautiful female," and that I don't deserve her in this stupid faux-British accent.
>What. I tell him that it was a friendly punch and she isn't hurt, she's not even upset.
>He continues screaming: "a female should be punching YOU! YOU'RE supposed to treat her like a goddess!"
>Hoo boy this next part pissed me the fuck off.
I'm meeting the character limit, so I'll continue in the comments.
