Why do guys only change when you leave?
I was dating this guy for 3 years, I loved him he was just too unmotivated, we'd only ever watch movies and play games towards the end of the relationship, I asked him to change his ways so many times but he didn't and I left.
I seen photos of him recently and he looks really good, like he's been living at the gym or something, he's actually playing at open mics (he only ever used to play music in his room when no one was home) and apparently he's been learning Jiu Jitsu and hes in competitions for it now, why couldn't he do all this for me when I was with him?
I thought he was doing it to get me back so I messaged him and essentially he just told me to go fuck myself and called me a shallow pig for messaging him "now that [he] has muscles"
Why are you so entitled, roastie?
>>27169520
You're a fucking roastie whore should kill yourself.
>>27169520
Because you wanted to improve him for your benefit and not his.
He was probably fine with who he was, and you just felt the need to make him feel like shit because you think you're worth more than you actually are.
But I'm glad he told you to go fuck yourself.
If you can't handle him at his worst, you don't deserve him at his best!!!!!
Prob should an hero
>>27169520
it seems like u are to me.
im fucking proud of him
>>27169551
>Because you wanted to improve him for your benefit and not his.
Forget the rest of what you said. This one comment alone hits the nail right on the head. Couldn't have said it better myself.
It's hard for the guy to do all the boyfriend stuff and find time to improve themselves at the same time.
That's why he gets lazy and fat when he's in a relationship but he's still doing stuff for you all the time.
When he gets dumped he does everything for himself since he is free.
>>27169520
During the relationship, you nagged him to the point of depression. That's why he was unmotivated. Now that he's gotten rid of his baggage (ie you), he's doing all these wonderful things with his life.
It sounds like you should have a date with a razor.
>>27169520
You were holding him back by demanding to watch chick flicks and go shopping all day long.
Guys can't focus on improving themselves if we have to worry about our gfs cheating.
>>27169520
Because you stripped him of time and inspiration.
You demanded changes for your benefit and not his.
Now that he's doing it he clearly feels that you wanted him back because of his improvements and not because of love.
He made the right choice.
Personally I'd feel kinda crappy and unmotivated if I was with someone I didn't like. Sometimes you don't break up when you should. Maybe that was it.
>I thought he was doing it to get me back
>he reacted poorly
Sounds like quite some hubris. I can't blame him but it's a bit rude. Did you leave on bad terms or something?
I'm pretty sick of having gfs who try to change me. It's not mutual where I can demand she does something in return. She just presumes herself perfect and I don't like her if she has a single flaw. So I'm the one that has to change all the time. It's really dumb.
I think you have left that impression. Asking for self improvement in a relationship should be more mutual. I saw the same thing with my parents. Thing is dad simply didn't have much to improve on.I'm too /adv/ for this board
There was this guy and girl I knew who were both fat.
They started working out together and got /fit/. Happily ever after right?
Well she left him after she got fit, for a guy who was simply taller.
In otherwords you Ex-boyfriend took it hard when you broke up with him and improved the only thing about himself that he could.
Women judge men by things they cant change, but men have more love than that. So get fucked.
>>27169520
because he needed something to fight through the pain. Bettering yourself is the best thing you can do.
>>27169520
Sometimes losing the people we love and care about so much is the push and shock we need in order take a look in the mirror and at least try to do something about who were are. Losing my ex-girlfriend because of my dickishness is the main reason why I've spent the past four years working on myself.
However judging the by details you've given us, it doesn't sound like his change has much (if at all) to do with you. You guys were probably late high school to undergrad age range. And people in that group tend to change regardless if they want to or were intentionally doing so.
>>27169520
>I thought he was doing it to get me back
It's not hard to tell what the original problem was. You think everything's about you.
You must have been holding him back.
It's as simple as that. You were distracting him from his own self-development.
Maybe you should take a page out of his book and work on yourself too.
Focus less on the things you can't change and focus on the things you CAN improve on
>>27169520
I honestly can't tell if this is bait or not. But to be honest, it's very easy to become complacent while in a relationship. You get the feeling that you are in a pretty comfortable spot. So no need to improve right. Once that ends you feel the need to put something into your life that the relationship provided, you pick up a hobby or simply return to doing what you enjoyed doing previously. Honestly, if you were to get back into being with him he'd probably slowly revert back into that again.
Maybe he took relationship for granted, and when you left him, he realized it and started doing something to improve himself.
>>27169719
Yes, it's bait. The real thread is in adv, but it made a good copypasta.
http://boards.4chan.org/adv/thread/16917645/why-do-guys-only-change-when-you-leave#bottom
>>27169520
You were sucking the joy out of his life you insufferable cunt.
It's not rocket science, the problem was you.
>>27169551
>>27169553
We are a shit people on a shit hole but at least these 2 anons got it perfectly.
>>27169520
>why couldn't he do all this for me
he does it for himself and he chooses the time when and what to do for himself.
>>27169760
You can just do this, newfriend.
>>>/adv/16917645
>>27169551
This, perceptive anon is perceptive. Women will only ever love you for how you make them feel, they will never love you as a person/identity.
Obvious bait is obvious.
Do not feed.
>>27169520
Maybe your inane, petty bullshit took up so much of his time he couldnt be a good person.
>>27169520
you were a weight which dragged him to the bottom
I am way more motivated now that I ended a reasonably unhappy, borderline sexless relationship.
I go gym 5 times a week and starting boxing next week.
But I still want pussy so I'm on my way to a lunch date right now. It sucks wanting hole so bad. I jerky off 2 times a day now. Used to be maybe 2 or 3 per week.
>>27169520
>why couldn't he do all this for me when I was with him?
you just aren't worth the effort
This thread made my day, thanks op.
Everyone knows that bitches weigh down men and keep them from reaching their full potential. Women are dead weight, nothing else to it.
