How do people have such great social skills?
Practice. Trial and error and learn from it; over and over and over.
>>27147034
>Practice. Trial and error
I call bullshit.
I knew many kids in primary school who commanded large groups of friends. Why? Money. All their friends parents knew each other and were rich.
Also, when I was 13 some girls in my class were socially dominating. How? They hardly had practice in such a short period of time. How could they be so incredibly confident at such a young age?
It's genetic. You are born with the skills, or you are not.
>>27147094
>GENETICS
then how come my parents were normie but I'm loser, it's to do with physical and social conditioning (sports parties etc)
>>27147127
>it's to do with physical and social conditioning (sports parties etc)
Well if it's that true, it's happening between the ages of 0 and 5. I moved schools when I was 5. ALL the kids at my new school had already formed tight-knit groups that did not accept outsiders. Luckily I was very autistic so I just ran off and played in the play ground every day.
>>27147160
It's your parents duty raise you up to be a pussy slaying chad, when I have a son I will make sure he doesn't turn out like me
>>27147198
>implying you will have any say in raising your rape child
i personally think it comes from being in a really relaxed state of mind, if you are at all inhibited to nervous feeling your social skills crumble
>>27147034
Practice can help, but if you're on the spectrum you're always going to have problems. You can compensate by being careful and thinking things through, but then you end up taking too long for conversation.
Find a hobby, meet people through that. Common ground makes socializing tons easier, especially if you have a hobby that you can enjoy while socializing.
>>27147034
Money.
original fuck
>>27147094
>Money.
>>27147624
>Money.
I'm very wealthy and I'm a 30 year old virgin with no friends.
>>27147645
Are you in environment with other exactly rich people or even richer?
You gotta have more money then people in your social circle to be cool
>>27147669
Yeah. It's actually quite isolating because it's just one thing different about me. I'll get some superficial attention for having something nice but I'm still a robot and don't know how to handle people.
>>27147034
They're constantly siphoning yours.
>>27147094
In the same post you said the reason is money, then contradicted yourself by saying it's genetics. You're a fucking idiot.
>>27147160
>I was very autistic
>thinks he's in a position to assess social behaviours
>mfw
hundreds of millions of years of evolution + not spending all your time alone in your room = good social skills
>>27147160
>tight knit groups at the age of 5
U wot m8. That is not how it happens unless you try to throw shit at every other 5 year old. A few will become friends with you (or at least try) when you're that young. You sound just like elliot I hope you kill yourself
>>27147034
Turning off my brain.
Instead of actually thinking about what I should say, I say what comes to mind.
People like it so far.
As a kid I was pretty social, I could talk to anyone and it felt so easy to make friends but then I went to high school and something changed.
I tried to by myself, like I always was and suddenly it didn't work, the only people I could get on with where the losers and kids who got bullied because they were the ones like me, other kids just seemed different like they were all part of something I've never been part of, even today this is the way everyone is.
Oh you can try and pretend to be like them but deep down you know you're not.
What is it?
Do you guys know what it is that changed?
idk but if some innate fear exists it tends to stifle people like us arcanines.
By some magic, we do get better at stuff with practice. But with socialising, the window of opportunity is so small. If you weird people out (and I do that very quickly) you are usually excluded from that person or group and you must start again with another.
It's not like, say, drawing or coding, where you can practice as much as you like and build on what you've learned. Some socialising is better than none, I guess. Even when you fuck up it will help when you try again. But the reset button is big and easily pressed. Shit sucks.
>>27147034
Positive reinforcement in your childhood.
>>27147034
It varies: Some are born into families that prize verbal and social skills, other develop them through practice; some are naturals.
>>27147198
Some studies say parents dont influence children as much as we earlier thought.
It has more to do with society outside your parents, friends etc. And genetics obviously.
>>27148072
That sounds accurate for me. My parents were divorced and always fighting, I was mostly left alone unless someone was yelling at me.
my social skills are beyond other peoples, but i still don't like them.
whenever i don't feel like i'm carrying the conversation, the other person is rambling non-stop without letting me get a word in.
good conversation is a balance between speaking and listening, giving insight, not thought-terminating cliches like "oh thats cool" then not saying anything after that.
if i have to cut you off to finally say something, that isn't good conversation.
Funnily enough, by not being left alone enough.
It makes people crave attention and want.... NEED to talk to other people.
So much that they get fake suicidial if left alone for a couple of days.
>>27147034
by not having autism or any other issues related to it
>>27147034
they don't have autism like us robots
>>27147094
Have great social skills does not mean having a big group of friends. Some properties like wealth and good looks can make it easier to get friends without having social skills, but social skills by definition is the ability to achieve your social goals WITHOUT having to rely on such inborn properties.
Also, it's a feedback loop, which is the reason most people who have a lot of friends because of riches or looks, also tend to have good social skills, because that group of friends, regardless of how they were originally earned, gives them lots of opportunity to practice socializing. While a loner has few opportunities which makes it harder to get friends which leads to even fewer opportunities. It's like capitalism, the rich get richer.
