My oneitis is single.
Do I strike now, even though I'm a pathetic loser who can't into relationships and she will probably ditch me after the first date?
Or do I go into cocoon mode for the next 6 months and try to become a decent human being, meanwhile risking her getting a new bf or getting bored of me or however it works?
You might well try now. If she's worth having she probably won't be single in 6 months.
>>27140112
get it over with
go cocoon after the rejection
>>27140112
>she will probably ditch me after the first date?
Does this mean there is a high possibility of a first date?
If yes, go on. If no, I wouldn't bother.
>>27140131
She's actually been single for quite a while. She's really shy, so there's actually a decent chance she won't be taken for a while.
>>27140135
If she rejects me, there's no point for cocoon mode. She's the only girl I've ever wanted.
>Does this mean there is a high possibility of a first date?
Yep, she even gave me her number.
I just don't want to fuck this up, guys. I know I'm going to, but I really don't want to.
>>27140274
Not attempting something when she gave you her number and there is a chance for a first date *is* fucking it up, only in a different way.
>>27140650
So you don't think there's any way I could delay this?
Is it really now or never?
You can't become a decent human being in 6 months. Get the pain over with.
>>27140736
I'm not sure why you'd want to delay it. She's your oneitis and single, also opening doors for contact. I'm not sure what you mean by decent human being though so I couldn't comment on that. If you weren't tolerable to some extent I'd doubt you would be able to get a first date.
>>27140738
>>27140793
I mean, I don't have to become perfect. I think I mainly need to work on my looks and social skills. I literally don't know how I would fill in an hour's worth of conversation on a date. I'm such a boring loser with no opinions or stories, there's bound to be more awkward silence than actual talking.
And that's why I don't think I can do this date. She would drop me as soon as she sees beneath the (shitty) mask.
plshalpmeblox
>>27140886
> I literally don't know how I would fill in an hour's worth of conversation on a date.
Do you have any common interests with her? Anything at all you could have a conversation about? If not, you could spend the whole evening trying to figure out something to talk about, like TV shows or music or some shit.
>>27140112
The answer will always be the same regardless of when you ask (unless you dramatically change). It's best for you to just go for it and if you're rejected then you need to move on. It does sound like you may have some self confidence issues though so maybe before even looking at getting into a relationship learn to actually like who you are. I can tell you a relationship fixes nothing when you are dependent on them for affirmation.
>>27140112
Hurry the fuck u0 send her a txt NOW and post the pic ofnreplies in this thread NOOOWWW strike while the iron is hot
>>27140112
You need to pretend that you are the main character in life. Listen to pop music, put on nice clothes, and always have a close mouthed smile, even when youre by yourself. Please ask her out for me, you will regret it if you dont
>>27142019
It's honestly a good way to put it. at the beginning it feels like faking it but after a while it begins to change your outlook on life. Changing mindsets is hard but this is a good first step.
Do it. You have everything to gain and nothing to really lose, because if she were to reject you, you would also gain something from no longer having to regret your lack of conviction, and also knowing for yourself that it was a doomed prospect.
>>27141512
Honestly, not much in common besides our possible mutual attraction. I still feel like we have a deeper connection, but maybe that's just the hormones.
>>27141610
She's already open to a date, I just have to give her a time and place.
>>27142019
>>27142058
I get what you mean, but what if I'm just too incompetent? I honestly am scared I don't have the skills to change. You can't fake being charismatic, etc.
I think would also regret it if I just dive right in and fail spectacularly and she rightfully never gives me another chance. This is literally the only girl who I ever felt a connection with. I can't afford to fuck it up.
Are you guys SURE I can't just ask her on a date later on? Sure there's a bit of a risk, but wouldn't I have better chances at that than at getting a second date after a failure?
>>27142659
You will very VERY rarely change the way someone sees you. If she's not interested right now she won't be later. If she happens to like you when you change how you are then she's probably shallow and not interested in you as a person.
>>27142260
>everything to gain and nothing to really lose
>knowing for yourself that it was a doomed prospect.
But then I would just regret not waiting. I would wonder forever what would have happened if I carried out my original plan.
I know I'm a negative person full of regret, but this cycle is really hard to escape. I'm bound to fail because I'm depressed/anxious, and I'm depressed/anxious because I fail.
You have a good point. But why does it have to be so hard?
>>27142738
I think you're pretty right about first impressions. The fact that she still wants to see me completely destroys my worldview. It must be pure luck that I somehow came off as normal, and I don't think I can pull it off again. That's how my mind works anyway.
I don't think that's shallow. I think I'm a legitimatally lame person, and she has every reason to reject me. I haven't proven to the world I'm worth a damn, and that's all on me. But at the same time, maybe a relationship is the thing I need to grow. Or maybe it's just fantasy.
Damn, I'm realizing just how many issues I have while typing out this shit.
>>27143048
You just sound like you have a low self esteem man. I've definitely been there and thought I was the worst human alive. The things I suggest you do is ask her out but definitely see someone about getting that self esteem up. There are many exercises you can do to change the view of yourself such as starting a journal and forcing yourself to write down the positive things about yourself. It sounds silly but its forcing your brain to think about that stuff so you can realize how good of a person you can be.
>>27143123
>how good of a person you can be.
That's a good way to put it, easier pill to swallow than realizing how "good" of a person I am right now. I objectively can't come up with a single positive thing about myself, except for the fact that I still believe I can change. Maybe that's enough. I hope so. I just don't know if now is the right time to expose myself to the girl of my dreams.
How do I not fuck this up? I can't even make a girl laugh, isn't that like a prerequisite?
bumpyywumpywoo
Guys I don't think I can do it. I need more guidance, encouragement, anything.
>>27144755
don't be such a huge fucking pussy faggot, she's already got one of those.
If she gave you her number and shit you gotta strike soon or she'll think you're not interested. I'm not very confident so I can't really tell you how to do that but I can tell you it'll end worse if you wait.
>>27144797
Aren't I just being objective, though? If I fail now, there's a 0% chance she'll give me another shot. Whereas if I take my time, I can increase my odds of not failing when it matters. It's more complicated than that, but it's not simply about being a pussy or not.
>>27144828
That makes sense. But
>she'll think you're not interested
Isn't that good, in a way? From what I've gathered on the internet, you don't want to appear clingy or like you don't have anything else going on in your life.
Then again, I have no idea what I am talking about.
>it'll end worse if you wait.
Fuck. Fuckity fuck. This feels true, but the chance of failure feels way too high right now. Fuck.
I believe in you anon. Go make her yours
>>27145099
Thanks, man. I just don't know if I believe. This is so stressful.
>>27140112
>Or do I go into cocoon mode for the next 6 months and try to become a decent human being
lol
>>27145304
Hey, there's things that will take years to mend. But I think in that period there are a few things I can do to at least not hate myself, you know?
One last bump for the night
