>go to uni cafeteria hungry as fuck and feeling the munchies
>come out with doritos, apple juice, pudding and some chocolate pretzels
>walking up stairs back to dorm room
>trip on stair and yell "whoah!"
>start dancing in slow motion as if I'm about to fall with eyes closed
>accidentally drop apple juice
>didn't realize I was doing this for twenty minutes
>group of girls were standing there, watching me the whole time
>they were just laughing
>suddenly get really self conscious and run back to dorm, dropping pudding and doritos on my way, feel too stoned to pick my shit up
Jesus Christ I'm just going to stay in my room from now on when I'm tripping.
focus on your education and not illegal substances
>>27118131
Why not both senpai? This comment is now original.
>shit my pants in the middle of a presentation
>shit them again
>now called "shitty mcgee" by everyone
>i haven't heard my real name in months
>i want to kill myself
>>27118185
That sucks some major dick anon. How long ago was this? Was it in high school.
>>27118093
stop ruining your life with the devil's lettuce
you are killing yourself
its not worth it anon
>>27118093
>20 minutes
Fuck.
I got called out for not having shoes on in the caf once. There was also a "free drink for returning a plate" for a day thing and the lady at the check out didnt know why I still had the plate with me. I've also fallen up the stairs several times, luckily I'm only a half floor up...oh, and one of my "friends" messaged a cute goth girl in my building I wanted to talk to with "Hey do you know [insert my name]?" and I just embarrass myself all the time in general on my floor, no one talks to me and I never have anyone to go out and drink with because I'm too embarrassed to go by myself and the one smelly arab i CAN talk to doesnt want me there and I hate him and am just drinking alone, tonight, again...why cant I have someone close to me ;_;
>be 13 in 8th grade
>running late to class
>end up in the wrong classroom because I got my days mixed up
>leave while being scared shitless because the "late bell" just rang
>I'm so scared, that I actually have an orgasm
>first orgasm I ever had while awake (up until that point I would always have orgasms in my sleep as a result of similar situations such as being late or left behind)
The thought of it really bothered me throughout the rest of the day.
>>27118231
What university do you go to senpai? If it's the same one as mine, I don't mind inviting you to my dorm and drinking/getting stoned with you.I don't have any alcohol though
>>27118224
Too late bro. Too late.
>>27118301
This is such a long shot, but whatever. I'm at University of Western Ontario.
>>27118424
Oh, I'm at University of Guelph man. Not that far away from LONDON.
If we were at the same uni I'd invite you over 100% for sure.
>>27118468
No shit, my buddy is at Guelph and really wanted me to go there. You happen to know a weird curly haired fucker by the name of Liam? This place is normie central and I hate it.
>>27118507
What's his last name? I might know him.
>>27118544
I don't know if he goes by his real or fake one, but he'll either say its Dragmire or Ewasko.
>>27118580
Nah I don't know that one. Well, if you're ever in Guelph man hmu if you feel like it
email is [email protected]
>>27118610
Aha, alright. Thanks man, I'll probably head up to see him at some point, so I'll let you know when I'm around. Take care, man!
>>27118656
>>27118610
the day robots became friends
aww <3
>>27118656
np dawg, hope to see you sometime
Isn't that the exact story from a sweet bro and hella Jeff comic?
>>27118706
haha no, this actually happened to me
>>27118093
OP, my advice is to either find someone to trip with (preferably of the opposite sex), or just quit tripping.
>>27118231
> I've also fallen up the stairs several times
>up
I did not think this was possible. Do you just brutally charge the damn things?
>>27119097
My feet get caught on the underside of the steps and I'm moving fast!! Not my fault, but there are always girls around when it happens...
>>27118706
It keeps fucking happening
>12th grade
>sitting in class stoned out of my mind
>everyone knew, no biggie, didn't care
>a friend that I got stoned with borough some lollipops, whips them out during break
>put one in my mouth
>not only am I stoned as fuck, but it's actually one of the strongest and most delicious lollipops I've ever tasted
>the moment I put it in my mouth I moan REALLY FUCKING LOUD uncontrollably
>it just came out, out of nowhere
>like I was having an orgasm or something, but I don't even moan when I have an orgasm
>everyone stops what they're doing, drops their conversations, turns, stare at me
>open my eyes from the foodgasm realizing what just happened
>look around for a minute
>everyone just staring
>"I-it's a REALLY good lollipop"
>everyone goes back to their conversations, but much more quiet
Another time, during the same dumb stoner phase
>at food fair with some friends, all really high
>see a stand with free jerk chicken samples
>I fucking love me some jerk chicken
>there's a bunch of pieces on this small platter
>grab a plastic fork from the pile
>pick a piece
>put it in my mouth
>Savor it
>stand there with this dumb grin on my face over how good it is
>forget what I'm doing
>put the plastic fork that was just in my mouth into the chicken platter
>everyone around me, the people working there, people in booths next to their, people standing and staring at the high guy enjoying jerk chicken, everyone shouts "OOOOAAAAAHHHH!!!!!"
>really confused
>turn around all directions and ask "What? WHAT?"
>someone points it out to me
>stand there and profusely apologize
>some hot dog stand working Slav motherfucker starts laughing at me REALLY hard and loud, making fun of me and calling me names
>won't stop laughing
>everyone still staring
It was really awful.
>>27118244
Dude what the fuck is wrong with you?
Original comment
>>27119058
There's a girl I know who I talk to on a more or less consistent basis. She's straight edge though. How do I convince her to come to my room and get stoned out of her mind?
>>27119580
>she's straight edge
You don't.
>>27119580
You at least try to stay clean while hanging out with her more and more often.
>>27119605
What do you mean senpai?
>>27119810
Why? She did say she doesn't like seeing how spaced out I am and how I don't react to things the day after I'm stoned, but idgaf she probably doesn't even like me.
I'm gonna get high right now.
>>27119856
You're pretty fucking retarded m8. Sure all that smoking is good for you?
>>27120154
I only smoke on weekends 99% of the time. I smoked on Tuesday because I thought it was a good idea but alas three bowls got me pretty fucked up throughout the week. Plus, I'm a beginner, haven't been smoking for that long.
And fuck you nigger, I don't care if it's bad for me I'm already dead.
>>27119275
hahahah holy shit man
>>27120238
Way to miss the point. Lost a few brain cells apparently.
You're trying to get a straight edge girl, who dislikes your smoking, in your apartment to get stoned. What part of that doesn't sound retarded?
How is marijuana bad for your health?
>>27120733
Well I like her but whether I stop smoking or not doesn't matter because she doesn't like me back, so there's no point in impressing her
>be me. 16, and alone in my room
>see picture of Will Arnett
>get horny
>Start jacking it to Will
>Start moaning "OH, Will"
>Older sister walks in on me
>Ohshit.jpg
>bust a nut
>frantically try and close out my tab with the Will picture
>too late
I'm now called the Banana Grabber
pic related is my older sister
>>27120873
Hahaha holy schintzel my absolute friendo hahahahha
Help me out inspector where is my pretzel. I saw him running at approximately 12 o clock and everything I ever gave him ended up with his no good orphan adopted grandmama of a cheryy bomb chewy candy available at a grocery store near you starting july 16th 2003, you are very much welcome sir have a wonderful day with your niece and nephews at a very articulate location as we are nothing in this life but empty shells of our former selves. There is nothing left for us but despair and pain, but at least we have this delicious burger from A&W included with our newest edition of space monster.
Please help me I'm trapped in this cycle of suffering we call life.
