I need opinions here R9K
My ex gf dumped me ~7 months ago. Since then I havent heard from her, seen her, or had a single mention of her from mutual friends.
The other night I caught up with a mate who I havent seen since my ex dumped me. We met at a pub in the city and had good ol chats. Turns out my ex is now working with his current gf and they hang out, and had actually had a night on the town on the weekend just gone. During that very conversation where we were talking about how small our city is, my ex walked past with 2 of her friends, saw us, stopped and started talking to my mate.
She then started talking to me to 'see how I
Here's the question: what are the odds that my mates GF told my ex that we would be there, and she went through there so she could 'randomly run into me'?
Its fucked me up since seeing her. Opinions pls.
>>27102248
>My ex gf dumped me
good, now fuck off normie
self bump.
opinions from girls would be very appreciated (if theres even any female robots around)
Theres no reason this should concern you in any way senpai.
>>27102287
I know. But the circumstances are ridiculous and its really fucking with my head if shes trying to make moves to interfere with my life.
You're over thinking. Just stop. Don't worry about anything. 3D women don't matter
>>27102275
The fact that this is even a thread is sperg enough.
Who cares dude? Are you really hoping to get back with a girl 7 fucking months later? Move on
>>27102297
You're a paranoid fuck. In what way is running in to you and asking how've you been "interfering with your life?"
>>27102297
What moves did she make exactly ?. You stumbled upon some people you know it happens.theres nothing special about it .
Eve if she 'planned' this it makes no differance and shouldnt concern you
>>27102308
its definitely a sperg thread, I just cant talk to friends because my friends are intertwined with hers. You guys have always been here for me and I thought Id hopefuly get atleast a few opinions.
And im definitely not wanting to get back with her, im just seriously wondering about this because it seems like its very possible.
>>27102317
> In what way is running in to you and asking how've you been "interfering with your life?
If she did show up because my mates gf told her where Id be, then its an effort on her behalf to start trying to involved herself in my life again.
Shes also been talking to my mates about me trying to get info and all that shit. If it is something like im only starting to wonder it could be, then I want to stop it asap (which is why I want second opinions).
>>27102248
FUCKING NORMIE SCUM
GET OUT LEAVE
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>27102370
fuck up Im literally no different to you all. the only difference Is I found /fit/ and after 2 years of lifting managed to have an appearance that didnt match my autist personality.
>>27102297
>>27102297
> really fucking with my head if shes trying to make moves to interfere with my life
I have a friend that is just like you. You know as well as I do that you aren't worried about her "making moves" to mess with your life. Why can't you just be honest and admit that you keep thinking maybe she purposely ran into because there is a chance she wants to work things out? I bet you keep telling yourself that you would never want that, yet there is a small part of you that keeps thinking about it. You're anonymous, just be honest.
>>27102407
>you keep thinking maybe she purposely ran into because there is a chance she wants to work things out?
you are definitely right. Id be a liar if i didn't admit that. EVERYONE who gets dumped deals with those thoughts, but thats genuinely not why Im asking. I really just need opinions if thats something a girl would do, and if she is trying to get info on me and be around where I am, then Id definitely want to deal with it now rather than later (as in being careful with hanging out with those friends in that regard).
>>27102407
This
B
H
>>27102452
Dude stop being so fucking beta.
You don't HAVE to let her be involved in your life, even if you guys have mutual friends.
Just fucking take control man. Be a man. It's your life. Stop letting irrelevant factors dictate your actions and make you stress out to this level
>>27102472
I know I dont have to let her. Im asking you guys because youre the most honest, straight up (and brutal) fuckwits I could ask. If Im to stop seeing a certain crowd of people to avoid her efforts then Id like to be sure that its something a girl would actually do before I act on it.
Hi,
I have some similar experience with my ex-gf.
She would try to pull stunts like this to fuck with my head so i wouldnt get over her and so she could abuse my kindness and give me sporadic sex in return to keep me interested.
it fucking sucks and messed my head up much more than the breakup did. stay away, I learned alot about women from it and im never gonna make those kinds of beta mistakes again.
>>27102569
I've literally helped my ex-gf move into her new boyfriends place to get GBP from her. I hate myself.
>>27102248
You are overthinking it. I'm sure it was just a conisidence. She moved on and clearly you haven't.
>>27102452
>>27102509
I'm the guy who posted this >>27102407
Listen, women only try to ruin your life if they think you're doing really well without them. Especially if they feel you're doing better than then they are. Like if you're making bank and super happy with some other chick. Then yes, a lot women would try to slowly win you back under the guise of catching up as just friends. Then they would take off again as soon as they knew they ruined your relationship with the other chick. Somehow I doubt this is the case with you. Doesn't matter though, you don't have to avoid her, just don't let her use you for a quick ego boost by getting drunk and admitting you miss her or how things were and you'll be fine.
>>27102297
Nope, that's just how you want it to be.
IMHO you are better off taking some time to properly forget about the feeling you had for her and then start browsing /r9k/ like normal robot
>>27102636
> just don't let her use you for a quick ego boost by getting drunk and admitting you miss her or how things were and you'll be fine
100% agree with you here.
>Listen, women only try to ruin your life if they think you're doing really well without them
see the reason I think this applies to her is because her ex bfs ALWAYS chased her. She even made it a point of pride.
When we first started dating, her ex was trying to call her once a week for a few months, and her ex before him was no different. After she dumped me I blocked her on all social media and deleted her number because I very well know Im not interested in seeing her shit or dealing with her. So I wouldnt be suprised if the lack of response from her leaving me is making her try fuck with me now.
>>27102569
>>27102589
Glad to hear you guys learned your lesson. Hopefully you stay strong in the future. I had a friend who let his ex "borrow" his car, which was a lot newer and nicer than his truck. His truck broke down and he would ask people for rides to work. I kept telling him to get his car back, but he would say that she really needs it, but he would get it back soon. He tried to fix his truck up, but it kept breaking down. One day it broke down in a bad part of town and he was stabbed and died, they never caught the guy. Once in a while I will see her driving his car around. I miss you Eric.
>>27102734
I hope you're right. Just the fact that she has been questioning other friends about me, and then on the night I see the bf of a girl she is now friends with she suddenly shows up trying to catch up with me.
its fucking weird... but im probably just over analysing it.
>>27102755
Ask yourself:
1) Do you want to get back with her?
If yes,
Text her and tell her you'd like to chat up.
If no,
Then don't pursue anything else with her and forget about what happened.
We can't read her mind or know her intentions.
>>27102737
If you were able to let her go so easily when you broke up a long time ago when things were fresh, why would you have a problem now? What I'm not exactly sure of is what is it exactly you are afraid of? Just saying "mess with your life" is too vague. Honestly it feels like you're more afraid you're going to be weak to her and feed her ego.
>>27102786
I meant meet up to catch up* i.e. over coffee, lunch.
>>27102755
>Just the fact that she has been questioning other friends about me
Are you assuming this or did you just leave it out of your opening post?
>>27102786
Its a definite no, but I know that obviously I need to protect myself from being emotionally manipulated by her because if she did show up and do the ol 'make you miss me' trick like >>27102636 said, It would seriously fuck me up and I dont doubt that I would cave.
Like I said before, I just need second opinions if its something she could be up to so I can pre emptiviely avoid it or not, since I can easily stop seeing that group of friends so I dont have to deal with it.
>>27102834
then the answer is cut off all contact with her friends and her.
>>27102786
>Text her and tell her you'd like to chat up
Hell no, don't do this. I repeat, don't do this. She will take this as you wanting to get back with her, even if you don't. It will ego boost her. No offense to the guy who posted this, but disregard this advice.
>>27102831
I left it out of the original post because I forgot... probably something I should have included.
But yeah she had been questioning other friends about me, trying to find out what Ive been doing, who Ive been seeing, if I miss her etc. This is what Ive been told by those friends. This is because when she dumped me I literally cut her out of my life completely as well. Deleted number, blocked on all social media (so she wouldnt even show up on friends pics etc) and never spoke to her afterwards.
>>27102868
dont worry there is no chance of this happening. I have no interest in trying again. I dont even have her number to do this.
>>27102834
If there is even the slightest chance that you will cave and feed her ego then avoid her at all costs. Think about how you felt when she dumped you, it will be like that times two. You will never stop beating yourself up about how dumb you were. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
>>27102906
>If there is even the slightest chance that you will cave and feed her ego then avoid her at all costs.
this is why im asking you robots if this is the type of calculated thing a girl would do. I didnt even think it, it was what another friend suggested, but once he did I kinda realized that the whole thing is suspicious in a way.
>>27102881
Ok, that info makes a difference. She is obviously planning on using you to boost her ego. Follow the advice I said here >>27102906
>>27102931
>calculated thing a girl would do
It isn't some master plan she has been concocting for months. You need to understand women better. Getting men to boost their egos is something that comes naturally to them, some of them don't even realize they're doing it. She obviously for whatever reason feels the need to get validation from you, but as soon as you do she will instantly see you as the same beta she dumped. Women are weird, it's possible she genuinely thinks she is just curious about how you've been. We know that isn't the truth though.
>>27103024
>It isn't some master plan she has been concocting for months.
this isnt what I think it was. Ive been wondering if my mates gf had mentioned we were going to the pub to her (since theyve recently started hanging out, and its worth mentioning that this mate is not a guy my ex knew I was friends with, it would have been suprising to her that I knew him as well) and then made the effort to be at the pub while we were there.
The common theme im getting from robots here is exactly what I assume; if she did do it purposely, then there is literally no point in giving her the ego boost and satisfaction of knowing I miss her. I just need to make sure I dont run into her again through that crowd.
anyway thanks robots.
You have no idea how much you've helped me over time. Its crazy knowing that I dont even know any of you, and none of you even realize how much you've helped me through life.
I really wish a good life for all of you.
>>27103065
You already said there is a decent chance you would cave and ego boost her. So obviously this means you cannot be around her often because there is no way "the old days" doesn't come up somehow. The real question is if your mate is a cool enough guy that you want to start hanging out with him more despite the risks. If it isn't going to be possible to see him without seeing your ex then stop hanging out with that guy. Just go to the bar with him again and if your ex shows up again then you know you just have to avoid that friend. If you stop running into her while being around him then your friendship is good to go. It's pretty simple.
