Out of all the girls I've autism'd, this one has had the greatest effect on my life. Sit back, or don't, because here's a normie who fucked himself into NEETdom
>be 4 years ago
>be 15 with solid aesthetics, athletic
>less chat lite and more normie mid
>have had huge crush on 8/10 qt for years
>top in her class, can actually be spoken to, beautiful body, cute face
>meet her with a bunch of her weird, gross tumblr friends at a cafe after day 1 of finals
>she ignores me the entire time while 5/10 friend literally rubs her leg against mine under the table.
>I try my best to rebut her but it's hard when I don't know any other freaky girl at the table
>normies_get_out.webm I know
>eventually spend the whole outing studying with 5/10
>7/10 leaves without saying a word to me (even though she invited me in the first place)
>get my shit to go leave as well
>turns out I left my English textbook at the place
>5/10 girl has car
>seems pretty cool actually
>we exchange numbers and she leaves
will bump with more if anyone's interested
bump>>27092884
DO TELL
>>27092884
I'm intrigued, go on anon.
>>27092884
OP here.
To elucidate on the shitty writing, I left and she brought back the book and drove me home. s/ The memories are painful, after all /s.
>start texting her back and forth
>at this point, didn't have a facebook or twitter or anything, which was only mild-moderate autist at the time as per my recollection
>she literally talks about dicks all the time. it's crazy never have even had a girl be forward with me before (was a super fat kid)
>eventually we decide to get together the day after Christmas.
>this was actually my first time even hanging out with a girl, to give an even deeper insight into my inner robot.
>eventually, the fated night comes
>>27093065
>we sit and watch rented shitty musicals while she acts bored
>eventually think it's time to abort the mission, when suddenly she sits on my lap and kisses me on the face
>like, actually, fuck
>willingness to bone instantly propels her attractiveness in my mind.
>start to go at it, typical teenager shit
>she keeps asking if I'm alright with shit and obviously I am
>do teenager shit like handjobs and stuff
>eventually she gets to my ass
>starts playing with that shit
>abso-fucking-lutely not
>get kind of weird about things and kill the mood, after things cool down she starts to get ready to go home.
And here's when the true social adroitness of my character shines through
>I tell her that i really like her and kiss her
>I swear to god to this day I don't know what came over me.
>she was a total roastie too, fyi
>enter my older sister
And, now, fo
>>27093133
Jesus christ these editing errors are atrocious. I'm sorry anons, pre-typing is most definitely a thing you should do. I'll start working on it in blocks and regroup.
>>27093133
cont nig
moar faggot
>>27093133
>older sister was pretty cool to me over my life, kinda crazy tho
>she's promiscuous but pretty smart
>tell her that about the experience and how it ended weirdly and how I'm simultaneously grossed out and turned on
>she laughs it off and talks mad shit about other with me like we always do
>skip ahead a week.
>New Years Eve, my sister's at some random shin ding with a lot of my friends (was also in music stuff, so was 8/10 and 5/10 and sister)
>sister gets shitfaced
>since I have no friends, I don't think much of it
>until I get back to school
>turns out sister drunkenly told the band kids about my getting with the roastie, and it had spread pretty far.
>roastie constantly texting me about relationship at this point, and has been throughout the break. however, now it's almost unavoidable, and her crazy leg rub things are reaching a fever pitch.
I DEMAND MORE
you there anon
>>27093296
>only solace in this is some bandbro, he comes out of the woodwork, former BF of my sister's
>to be fair, it was pretty baller to be called out for being a player though
>I actually broke them up, because she was cheating, but more on that later
>he discourages the bantz for the most part
>we start hanging out
>during all this time, 8/10 has been sending bigger and bigger signals.
>start hanging out and her house pretty frequently
>never anything sexual, just video games most of the time
>she fucking plays CoD though can we get that out there
>anyways
>life seeming pretty top rn, with 5/10 cumdumpster and two pretty good friends.
>that all changed with the schools dumb fucking sadie hawkins dance
>5/10 had been begging me to go for quite sometime and I had blown her off, saying that dances weren't really my thing (in really, human contact isn't really my thing)
>at this time, 8/10 is sending strong signals.
>she doesn't seem to know about my side action
>randomly asks me to hang out after a morning bang sesh with roastie
>go for it
>you already know what fucking happens, she asks me to the dance, and I say yes.
>still had to break up with roastie first
>hazard a break up hangout
>nope, turns into teenager sex.
>ok, well I can still break up with her at school.
>do precisely that, as I drive her home
>"anon, so were you just lying to me this whole time to get sex? that's so fucking low."
>moderate_to_severe_anal_fissures.jpg
>I calmly talk her down, actually pretty proud of this part.
>genuinely convinced she won't cut my balls off.
is that it?
I WANT MORE NIGGA
>>27093449
MOOOOOOAAAAAAR THIS IS GREAT
>>27093449
>and so began the great life shittening
>8/10 starts going fucking quiet
>not responding to my texts
>not even talking to me in the hallway
>panic
>still talk with roastie so she won't whine about how awful I am to 8/10, who she does not know I am going to dance with at this point
>apparently, 8/10 is constantly reading these as messages of disinterest on my part.
>and at this precise moment, someone informs both 8/10 and 5/10 of my respective relationships with the other
>5/10 is generic bitchy
>8/10 is fucking LIVID, I call off the dance thing to protect myself from conflict like a normal human being
>I keep trying to tell her how much I like her, but can't find the words
>keep in my these were some of my first friends ever, and not just romantic shit
>the sitcom esq story about the kid with two dates and getting neither of them spreads, and pretty soon most people consider me a scumbag
>at this time, seasonal depression kicking in
>in hindsight, it was a pretty bad idea.
>still constantly talking to 8/10, constantly getting ignored.
>even cave in and go back to 5/10, she's was never really one for talk anyways.
>eventually take a huge bunch of pills (mostly adderal)
>2/10 an hero attempt to be honest
>family history of mental instability I guess
>no hospital visit, just feeling like my heart was going to explode for a while and not dying.
>eventually break down and text 8/10 a long message laying out my feelings and thoughts
>she calls me and we have a heart to heart about childhood and stuff, I was so dependent on her at this point.
>hang out a few more times actually, but it's always a little weird.
>hesitant to ask her out, because of weird guilt she might feel
>eventually cave, tell her how I'm in "love" with her.
do go on faggot
>>27093641
>she's reasonably terrified, and tells me of someone else she has "feelings for," and how we could never be together
>guess who it was
>I wish I could have emphasized this more because holy shit
>my one friend
>RC
>it was totally fucking him
>he had been feeding her that shit about me and 5/10, and now I just proved to her I was a god damn psycho.
>can't get any girls in that friendgroup, have an absolute reputation of fuckboi+ in there.
>no real friends either, can't bring myself to talk to RC
>fast forward a year
>gain 40 pounds
>complete nihlist
>lower my fucking grades by maybe 2 GPA
>numerous an hero attempts
>no human contact for years, vicious cycle of self loathing
>end up barely passing by
>sitting in a community college now, constantly berating myself over my shitty history major.
It honestly eats me up inside that I was once desirable to at least some people and now not a single person can look at me in any way other than disgust or pity. I'm not the worst off out of anyone here but the lack of any connection whatsoever is actually destroying me from the inside out. At least I'll always have my "what if" memories to drive me and help me sleep at night, if I ever slept.
