>"Oh anon I'm so good at blowjobs ;)"
>bring her up to my apartment
>she gags on it and almost throws up
Why do women do this?
>>27083382
>willingly interacting with dumb cunt trash
>fails to treat her like a child with the spatial awareness of a drunk injun
>gets upset when he has a mess to deal with
Why do dumb meme spouting fucks not know how to deal with women? Oh right because this never happened.
>>27083382
Men tell them they're good at BJs to keep getting BJs
>>27083512
>men want to get their dick sucked bad constantly
These people are just too fucking stupid for sex.
>>27083512
You're doing it wrong. Subtly insult them by criticisizing them and acting unimpressed
>>27083420
>not memeing your way to the tight pink pussy
It's like you haven't seen Meme Lover
>>27083382
>"Oh anon I like it rough ;)"
>"yeah spank me and choke me ;)"
>"what the hell are you doing, that hurts"
>okay
>"Oh anon, I like being blindfolded ;)"
>"this is kinda scary, I don't want to do it again"
>okay
>"anon how come we don't have rough sex anymore"
I think people are more turned on by the idea of rough sex than they are by the actual act. It's one thing to reblog black-and-white pictures on tumblr and another thing to actually do it, but I wish I wouldn't somehow be at fault for it.
>>27083714
Learn to read moron
>>27083819
You sound like you're describing me here.
>bring a girl home
>I keep my condoms, lube, wet wipes, etc. at the drawer next to my bed
>she takes out the lube and is joking about it "haha are we gonna need that lol"
>then she sees my above average dick and goes for the lube every time now
stupid bitches
>slut comes over
>has tongue piercing and tattoos
>i cum in her mouth
>she gags
>apologizes and says that's never happened before
>tfw your jizz probably tastes like ammonia
>>27083819
>talk with tinder bitch
>"I like being slapped around and treated like a bitch, fuck that sensual bullshit, that's boring"
>have they ever treated you nicely during sex
>"not really"
>hook up, long foreplay, treat her nice
>literally begs for my dick after 20 minutes
Seriously these bitches are dumb
>>27083819
This.
Bitch wanted it rough but didn't like my whip.
>>27084003
That means nothing. Probably just means she was getting bored of your shit and just wanted a cock in her cause she was tired of waiting
>>27084025
Yeah because when she moans so fucking loud that you can almost hear it in the whole apartment she clearly isn't enjoying it.
Also why do they moan so fucking load? Like they want the whole district to know they are being fucked.
>>27083819
>>"Oh anon I like it rough ;)"
>>"yeah spank me and choke me ;)"
>>"what the hell are you doing, that hurts"
>>okay
Every fucking time.
>>27083382
She knows that's your fetish
>>27084069
>Also why do they moan so fucking load? Like they want the whole district to know they are being fucked.
Biological instinct that is actually supposed to do exactly that. Everyone around hears that she's having sex and come around to fight and give her the best sperm. If she moans loudly, she's literally biologically wired to be a slut.
>>27084159
Also that's why men fall asleep after they cum, so that the next male can have sex with the woman. And also why the head of penises are shaped like that, so that they can scrape off the previous man/men's sperm out of her vagina. Also that's why bigger longer dicks are better.
t. sex scientist
>>27083819
>>27084003
>>27084095
>women knowing what they want
They don't know what to eat
>>27084069
>Like they want the whole district to know they are being fucked.
I do. Being fucked by a real 3D guy is a pride and achievement.
>>27084188
The sleep thing is wrong
>>27084212
Fucking real 2D would be the biggest achievement tho.
>>27084268
Then why do men fall asleep?
>>27083382
FUCKING NORMALSCUM FUCK OFF GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT
GO AWAY FROM MY SAFESPACE FUCK OFF GOD DAMN
sage
>>27084309
We don't. Women do. The myth was made up by women because they project so fucking hard.
>t. not a virgin
> "I've never done this before"
> proceeds to deepthroat
>>27084069
What that isn't a turn on? Like I mean if its shitty weird fake moaning no, but if she's howling while you're spearing her that's hot.
>>27083382
>Why do women do this?
I know this is /r9k/ so this fall on deaf ears, but I'll tell you anyway:
It's men's fault.
Trouble is most guys (betas) say thins like:
>YOU ARE so beautiful
>YOU ARE great at blowjobs
>YOU ARE a great cook
etc.
They do this to make their girls feel good. The downside is that speaking like this creates "brattyness" in a woman. She'll internalize those ideas and start thinking she's ACTUALLY good at blowjobs. Not realizing you're just saying that to make her feel good.
If you don't want your gf/wife to end up bratty you should speak in a different way:
Don't say: "you look like nice" say "I think you look nice"
Don't say "you give great blowjobs" say "I love it when you give me blowjobs"
And don't be afraid to tell her you can do better.
Her: how was it??
You: You could do better.
>>27084384
>Everything shitty about women is the man's fault.
Great, I can start blaming women for my shitty attitude then.
>>27084371
No it's really annyoing. Moan a bit more quietly.
>>27083382
Dude that IS a good blowjob.
What's the fucking point unless she's gagging and choking?
Fuck, half the thrill is that she's gotta be on her knees and do all the work while she gets none, while you can just grab her and choke her on it at any time, and she's covered in spit, feeling like she's gonna hurl, and has to taste unwashed dick.
How about you faggots take this trash thread back where it belongs
>>>/soc/
>>27084496
How about you fuck off back to virginchan
>>27083382
>gf and I were virgins when we met
>first bj was little more than licking and her kind of gumming the head a bit
>now she deepthroats and makes it really sloppy and nasty how I like it
>looks up at me with those 'I love your dick down my throat' eyes
>can always tell when I'm about to cum and says shit like "good boy, fill my mouth up"
>swallows as default unless I say I want to cum somewhere else
>grins like she's really proud of herself after
fuck me they're good, I'm getting horny as fuck thinking about them now
>>27084543
>grins like she's really proud of herself after
Girls are proud of themselves when they make their man cum. It's an indication that you find them hot and that what they were doing was good.
Sometimes I just can't cum and my girlfriend looks very disappointed for some reason. I enjoyed the sex, she did, too, but I guess she thinks she "failed" or something.
NORMIES
MAKE
HASTE
>>27084428
>girl almost vomits on your dick
>good
But why? It's disgusting
>>27083382
Can you get the fuck out? Exit's over there.
Dead serious anyone have this happen to them? I was younger then me and party slut got drunk as fuck, banged her in my dorm room it was 100% willing not rape, next morning we wake up she starts crying and said I raped her!! After about 10mins of me panicking her crying I was extra nice to her said she wanted it then end up fucking her again a few minutes later and everything was ok WTF
>>27084991
Bitches be cray bro
>>27085070
You said it man bat shit insane
>>27084069
>Also why do they moan so fucking load?
Bad news for you anon. She wants to cuck you. She's instinctively trying to call better men to come fuck her. If she thought your genes are good enough, she'd be quiet
>be me with hookers
>"you do anal"
>"yes"
>sees my dick
>OMG that's way too big it'll tear me apart back there!
I call bullshit. I don't think my dick is that big. Why can they just say they don't do anal in the first place.
they still let me finger them back there though. I can settle anal-fingering her (with gloves of course) but I'd still rather do her in the poop-shoot.
>>27083382
The last time I gave someone a blowjob, his dick was huge and I started deep throating which I did successfully up until a point where he started forcing my head down. It must have fucked with my gag reflex and I was almost sick - I could feel it in my throat but managed to hold back.
I looked up, swallowed it, composed myself (as much as you can with a dick in your mouth) and continued until he came down my throat.
I thought the fact that I was so committed to taking his cock that I almost vomited would be considered hot, rather than a disappointment. Should I just not take it that deep in future?
>>27085386
Try killing yourself, roastie
>>27084188
>Also that's why men fall asleep after they cum, so that the next male can have sex with the woman. And also why the head of penises are shaped like that, so that they can scrape off the previous man/men's sperm out of her vagina.
>>27084268
>The sleep thing is wrong
>>27084309
>Then why do men fall asleep?
First guy got it backwards.
Guys have mushroom head dicks to scrape out other dude's sperm and replant their own sperm deeper inside.
The reason the body gets sleep and you have a refractory period afterwards is because
1. Your body releases chemicals that increases heartrate, blood flow, and thus penis erection.
2. If you keep fucking after you ejaculate you'll scrape out your own sperm defeating the purpose of fucking the 1st time
3. Because you're a stupid ape who would keep fucking even more even after coming (which is bad) you'll need a way to stop by dealing with your heartrate, blood flow, and penis erection. Your body releases a list of chemicals to calm you down decreasing your heart rate, increasing chemicals that tell you you're sleepy, and thus also kills your boner.
Tl;dr refactory period and sleepiness is to keep YOU from scraping out your own sperm. Best way to know a woman up isn't to cum a ton of sperm into her in one sitting but doing 1-2 times though out a span of days during her ovulation period.
A lot of hookers are good at blowjobs but not all. I have had terrible bjs from prostitutes as well.
>>27084354
Some girls feel a lot of pressure to be good, so they might have practiced with inanimate objects.
>>27083382
>"I'm really good at blowjobs"
>we fuck
>she blows me after
>best orgasm ever and first time I ever came from a blowie
I miss her.
>>27084003
Classic.
> be me
> white belt at sex at the time
> banging girl who just wants me to pound the shit out of her pussy at high speeds
> after sex notice a drop of blood coming from her pussy.
> I'm like wtf is this shit, this girl's retarded
> start hitting with slower but still firm long strokes that slightly increase in pace
> she ends up liking that shit way better making way more noise than usual.
> keep banging her until I become a blue belt then I move on
>>27084384
But if you tell women like it is they act like cunts.
>>27085313
How big?
This is original.
>>27083382
>getting any sort of sex
>continually posting on r9k
when the fuck will the normie raid end?
>>27087232
lol this.
if i gave a dude a blow job and he is all "meh" i'm like, "fuck you bro, i just gave you a blow job. YOURE WELCOME, FAGGOT."
just be thankful a girl even wants to go near your dick and if she don't please you, then let her go and find someone who does. damn.
>>27087256
little over 7" in length. dunno about girth but I'm sure it's not THAT big, at least not big enough to put-off a rent girl who's "supposedly" experienced in anal to not take it back there.
it's just some bullshit excuse so I don't get upset for not getting back-door access.
>>27087375
That's only if you don't train a bitch right. I prefer oral but sometimes she isn't giving it her all. In this case I tell her it's not working and he get in a prone position. I'm usually able to cum in the butthole. It's more work for me but after a point I just want to cum and go back to relaxing. I would use the pussy but she won't get on bc again and I actually like the idea of her never getting pleasure, just dick in mouth or butt everything. I don't even have to so anything. I can be laying in bed next to her and take my pants off and she starts sucking. Occasionally she'll ask me not to use her butt with some bs excuse but she won't resist beyond that. Fortunately for her she's learned I prefer oral but the fastest way to get me wanting anal is requesting I don't fuck her up the ass.
>>27087641
>sociopathy: the post
You're an idiot for not fucking her pussy, it's way better. Who cares if she's not on birth control
ITT: Normies.
It'll always be a wonder why they come here
>>27083382
Sounds hot desu m8
>>27084496
/r9k/ rules are to make threads with greentext story, you are pretty wrong here anon
>>27087751
I've done it before, it's not any better. It's actually worse compared to the mouth and butt. Maybe I'm a 'sociopath' for having kinks, but I likes what I likes, and that includes her not getting what she likes.
>>27087849
/r9k/ is for autists. Incel pieces of shit like you belong here no more than normalfags.
>>27087375
U sound hostile af
Like it or not bjs are a skill and take practice which may include criticism of technique.
>>27083382
>>"Oh anon I'm so good at blowjobs ;)"
>she says as if being a slut is a good thing
>>27084543
Thanks for the boner, mi amigo
