Jail Feels
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Any other robots been to jail? I recently got arrested for the first time. DUI, paraphernalia, and felony possession. Only had a 16 hour stay but 7 of it was in heroin withdrawal. Needless to say, it was one of the worst days of my life.
So, who's got a jail/arrest/police encounter/prison story that they'd like to share?
One time I had too many xanax and beers and decided to go steal myself some new sneakers. Im not a nigger btw, but everyone knows popping too much pills make you act like one.
I walked into the store and put on the most expensive Nike shoes I found and I didnt think anyone saw it, but the second I walked outside the store two huge security guys jumped my ass.
Fuckers literally dragged me to their office and one of the guys was obviously one steroids, gigantic and bald. He started fucking beating me when I told him I hadnt done anything wrong.
The police came and they actually believed my story about only trying the shoes on and not even leaving the store before getting jumped. The bald security guy actually acted like an idiot in front of them, so they believed me more.
But I got sent to the fucking drunk tank for a day and I woke up full of regrets.
Havent taken any pills since.
make the best of it OP, you're clean now, stay clean
>>27079510
I also had tons of Xanax in my pocket when I got tackled, but I ate them all before the cops came. Would probably have gotten jail time if it wasnt for me eating them all and smooth talking the police, they were two young women, so they believed my shitty story
thank you both policewaifus
I was locked up for 15 days, my sentence was 4 months but clean record, good behaviour and the way our justice system is set up they took many days off my time.
My crime was "attempted rape" I basically just wrote a clearly fake love letter to some girl on behalf of a friend. SHit wasn't even that rude, at it's worst it said something like
>I caress my erect penis with the strands of your hair I found in your classrooms chair, I hope my future wife wont bald before I do
fucking feminazis
>>27079467
R9k is really not theplace to share this, but...
I was caught havingsex in public
One week in a police department jaik with other criminals of misdemeanors. Do you know what it's like to be gay in jail? I do. [Spoiler] it was pretty chill actually, jailmates were broish and nobody raped me. Perhaps because I'm ugly, though. And it wasnt a real jail.
>>27079531
We'll be right back with another chapter from "things that never happened"
>>27079553
Oh I fucked my spoiler up...
>>27079531
>>27079510
also the fucking security guy beat me up a few days later when I was at a bar
said i was a piece of shit criminal after sucker punching me and kicking me while down
really nice guy, theres a reason why hes a mallcop and not a real one, because roided idiots like him cant become one where i live, so he was obviously mad about that
i actually tried to call the mall later and ask for the guys name but they said they dont know the names of their security. what the fuck
my mom even called them because i got so fucked up after he jumped me and they just told my mom theyre sorry and gave me a gift card for 60 bucks at the nike store lmao and a bottle of wine
>>27079564
might be more believable if I told you I lived in Canada
>>27079577
It's okay anon. We all faked greentexts for attention at some point.
A couple times, yeah. Never for too long. The only one even moderately interesting was when I came home and found a guy who happened to be a cop balls-deep in the only girl I ever loved.
>he looks at me
>I look at him
>I look at her
>I look back at him
>he's trying to explain and she's covering up but it's too late
>tackle that motherfucker to the ground and start punching him in the face before he knows what's going on
>he gets over the initial shock and starts fighting back
>punching is no longer enough to contain my rage
>firmly wrap hands around his throat
>commence choking
And then she hit me across the back of the head with a baseball bat a couple times and that laid me out pretty good. About a month into waiting for my trial, I guess she talked him into getting the whole thing dropped. But there were anger management classes and AA meetings and restraining orders, and I had to track down the cat I had had since I was ten because that spiteful cunt gave him away. She just fucking GAVE AWAY my best fucking friend. Didn't give him to my family to watch, didn't watch him herself, she just fucking gave him to strangers. I HAD HIM FOR FOURTEEN FUCKING YEARS.I got him back without problems, though. He's napping right now.
>>27079514
no, i'm not clean.
>>27079603
why would you try and kill someone over a girl that clearly doesn't even like you?
Yeah, a few times
Always for drunk in public related stuff. Sometimes when /blackout/ and not knowing how I ended up in jail
>tfw having drunken conversations with inmatea in adjacent cells and they hate you because in their world you're the normie
>>27079649
Blind rage. I'm normally not that angry a person, things will frustrate me but I'm pretty good at just backing away until I calm down. The only comparison I can think of is slowly easing into a chilly bath, versus being hurled into a lake in the middle of winter. I didn't even think, I just charged that motherfucker. Because I loved her. More than she loved me, I guess. At least I've got my best buddy, for a couple more years. I've had him for 16 years and he was about 6 months old when I got him, so he won't be around much longer. He's my best guy, though. A big suckup who just loves to be picked up and cuddled and hugged and pet and scratched. He's never hurt me like she did.
The cops took me to a psych ward when I was manic and psychotic. I was playing in the rain and looked like a complete lunatic. When they put me in my hospital gown, I grinned really big because I looked like Jesus. It was kinda like prison in the ward, because you couldn't leave and everyone didn't want to be there and everything had a rigid schedule. At least in prison you can go outside for a bit, the nurses didn't let me get any fresh air. It was so fucking boring, so I convinced them to prescribe me a benzo for muh ank-zy-oh-tee. Things kinda became blurry after that, and then I finally got released once they decided I was good to go.
>>27079694
Honestly bro psych wards are comfy as fuck. It is boring and surreal though
>>27079680
cant trust these hoes man. they are all the same.
happened to me too, but her parents were home so I did not hurt her or the guy
instead if smashed every window on her car and would later drive by her house and smash her windows every once in a while
glad you at least got your cat back bro
>>27079467
Just once.
I was in Mexico and went to hang out with my cousin and help some guys move a massive steel thing out of an abandoned slaughterhouse. They had said that they had the paperwork for it. Though I did get suspicious when I saw a police truck pass back and forth. It turned out that they were stealing it and next thing I know half of the police force showed up. Luckily I managed to throw away some weed I had, but I forgot to throw away some rolling papers and a mask I had because I was an edgy underaged fag. We spent the night in jail until my aunt bailed us out.
I hadn't eaten all day but otherwise it wasn't that bad.
>>27079715
Yeah, I'd go to the psych ward instead of the prison any day. Most of the people in the psych ward were people who were caught by the cops doing illegal shit and should've been put in jail, but they had something wrong with their head so they were given treatment instead. If I ever get in trouble with the police again, I'm gonna pull the crazy card as best as I can. You get in the hospital and get right back out in no time.
>>27079603
Bruh
If someone gave my cat away.....
I would be on some John Wick shit....
I would be on some Daniel Day-Lewis Oscar performance shit...(there will be blood)
Fuck with my cat and I would end your existence
Idk how you didn't obliterate that bitch
>>27079467
>me 4 years ago
>pennieless,jobless, all i had on me was half of pack of cigarettes
>raging alcoholic
>in debt and rent day was coming up, if i did not make rent i would be forced to move out(lived alone in a studio apartment in a shitty neighbourhood)
>came out with stupid plan to get money
>went to the other side of the town with nothing on me except a beanie with eyeholes cut into them and a big knife
>went near a liquor store
>waited for 3 hours to ensure that no customers were in the store
>smoked all of my cigs, hand shaking of anxiety
>finally went in
>pulled the knife and shoved it in front of the face of the cashier
>she just went mute, probably feared for her life
>got 4000EUR from the registers, shoved it in my pocket, grabbed a few bottles of vodka from the shelves and bolted
>finally when i got home i felt both happy for getting money and discusted at myself for what i had become
>drank myself to sleep
>fast forward to two weeks later
>front door slammed in, SWAT team barges in, handcuffs, on the floor, arrested
>i wasn't even ....idk, scared, while sitting in the cop car i stared in to oblivion and thought about childrens songs
>got busted because traffic cameras
>spent 3 months inside, got 4 years probation after that because europoor and our countries laws are quite lax towards first offenders
>never again
rape. served 5 of a 7 year term in prison.
>>27081469
Please tell me everything about your experience. As someone who is considering raping girls I want to know what the potential punishment, that is if you will share the details.
>>27081084
>never again
Can imagine. How long you been out?
>>27081484
my situation is probably different. while I raped a 15-year old, I confessed immediately, spared the victim and family a trial and was cooperative. They put me in a minimum security prison rather than max, where I probably would have been stabbed to death.
Minded my own business, only rarely did I have to stare someone down and got out early.
