Hey, robots.
When you fall asleep tonight, a voice speaks to you.
> "You may send back through time three notes to your past self at ages 5, 10 and 15. Your past self will believe it's from future you and heed the message. Each note must contain thirty words or less."
What do you send back?
Will it change anything or did you just never have a chance?
>>27079196
To 15-year-old self:
Start eating more or else you'll be a skeleton forever.
>30 words
I'm too tired, OP. Good night
<Age 5
you
>Age 10
are
>Age 15
faggot
>5
Eat less.
>10
What the fuck did I tell you?
>15
You have learned nothing.
If I changed anything at all whose to say it won't end up worse
What if this timeline is the best possible outcome i could have made for myself
>>27079196
>5
nothing, the note wouldn't be understod, and will likely just be lost before any real meaning can be extracted from it.
>10
i don't know. maybe tell my past self to start a lets play channel. at that point i'd be early enough in the youtube scene that i might have a chance of getting more than 18 subs total.
>15
tell him to never browse 4chan. this place has destroyed everything i once was. while i wouldn't go back if i had the choice now, i feel i would be better off if i never became like this.
>>27079344
>best possible outcome
>becomes robot
>5
Read more books.
>10
Don't start playing WoW.
>15
If you fucking ignored me and started playing WoW, quit now. Leave school at 16, you're not cut out for higher education.
>>27079196
>5
learn math more
>10
Learn math more
>15
Dont fall in love with this girl youre going to meet in a year
She wants to be a guy after everything
take care of her she had it hard
>5
Tell everyone what really happened, don't keep it a secret
>10
Lose weight, start eating healthy, don't fall for what those other kids say
>15
Keep the weight off, don't fall for the blondes "innocent" ways and ditch her before shit happens
>>27079196
5 year message
>do a lot of sports if you want to be thin and healthy growing up
10 year message
>are you doing sports? Yes? Get fucking fit faggot
15 years message
>keep doing sports and study hard to go to medschool 4 teh pussy and the money
Life,
Fixed
>>27079569
>So..Where did he touch you?
>5
Don't care about other peoples opinion
>10
get girls while you still can. J loves you don't fuck it up
>15
Get fit already you twig fuck. Nobody will take you serious in your girly body. Also never do drugs it will fry your brain
>5
Eat less
>10
focus on school, get fit/eat less fucker, focus on street fighter not KOF,cards will consume you
>15
Get into good college, try to start/gain business exp. get job. Get into nursing if everything fails. @ 25 Vicky will love you.
>5
Nothing really for this one. I didn't have friends because my family lived far away from civilization
>10
Stop skipping school and plz talk to other kids
>15
I think it's too late to fix anything now... My parents raised me like a wild animal that can't express its feelings
>Age 5
Guess what?
>Age 10
Chicken Butt
>Age 15
Dank
>5
one day
>10
you will witness
>15
these dubs
>>27079196
>5
Do well in school and read a lot. Make mom sign you up for sports. Sam's a good friend.
>10
Stay with Courtney and lead. Make sure she goes to voc with you. Study, eat, dance, and play sports. You're going to be lactose intolerant at around 13.
>15
You may be really sick soon. Eat rice, meat, and vegetables if you are. Lift weights and especially squat. Buy as many bitcoins as you can. Hold till they're $1000.
>5
Teachers freaking suck
>10
Take a chance and bite the bullet
>15
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS
15: Treat her right, be smart about it. She loves you.
That's all I need
>>27079196
5 years: put more effort into learning Japanese. Bother Mom about it. Even though you live in the middle of nowhere.
10 years: Do sports or something. Learn an instrument.
15 years: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP BEING LAZY DO YOUR HOMEWORK FUCK
also work out.
tfw "smart kid" until I was in like 10th grade when my garbage work ethic caught up to me. Hope I don't drop out of college, but "hope" is the whole reason I'm in this shitty situation in the first place.
>5
Continue enjoying life, your memories are the reason I'm still alive.
>10
Forget what girls think of you, also your best friend will die soon so be prepared for that.
>15
For gods sake stop trying to be too /fit/ you're going suffer an injury and regret it for the rest of your life.
Try to rediscover your passions and don't get too hung up on bad grades.
age 5:
kill yourself now it's not going to get better
>5
enjoy life while you can
>10
Better play a little the "doctor game" while grills still talk to you...Yout will never see a vagina again, remember that.
>15
you where right, it doesen't get better...The game is alredy over...But please, we can still have a chanche to have a future, if you can learn math well maybe you will be able to go to ITT school, try to learn that shit pls.
>5 Year Old
Keep using Spanish. Don't stop using Spanish. Talk to your parents in Spanish, and use English at school if you need to. Just make sure you remember your Spanish.
>10 Year old
Learn how to dance. Put down the video games and ask one of your parents to teach you.
>15 Year old
Drop all communication with those girls. You will make a massive fool of yourself, suffer from even more stress, and regret meeting them in the future.
5: ask parents for piano lessons and do them
10: cut your hair and try to play a sport or something
15: start lifting weights now, you'll be fuarkin shredded by college. Also that bitch likes you
5
>tfw
10
>no
15
>gf
>age 5
Nothing
>age 10
Nothing
>age 15
don't be afraid to go to the doctor. in 2 years it metastasizes and can't be cured and you'll spend the next remaining years of your life in bed on /r9k/
>>27079759
wow, if you had gotten dubs, that would be amazing
an eternal loop
5yo
>keep your shit up senpai
10yo
>don't suck dicks
15yo
>you did suck them dicks, didn't ya? Congrats, you fucked up faggot.
Fuck 5 and 10. I didn't have my shit together but i was fine.
Right 15... Lift weights and eat big. You like martial arts so do Judo and fencing while there's clubs in town. You want to. A girlfriend is no more special than any other friend and it doesn't matter if they come and go. Ask them out date the ones that want to. No one ever finds the one.
You don't have mental illnesses or depression. You just need more light and exercise.
>>27081875
That's thirty one words you fucked up
Now past you is doomed
>>27079196
>5
Be a little more spoiled. It's not your fault you were born. Misbehave for once.
>10
Forget about drawing, you got no talent, kid. Focus on math. You're gonna need it later.
>15
Leave your hometown when you're 18. You know what you should do, so do it or become an old loser. Your choice, pal.
>>27081927
You'd better send a message to 5 year old you and tell him to learn to count to thirty you dumb motherfucker
>>27081987
nah 90 words to 15 instead. Plenty of space.
>Five
>Ten
>Fifteen
Use rope instead of pills.
>Age: 5
Don't get too into Remme, enjoy school as it's some of the best memories you'll have.
>Age: 10
Your mother is going to do something very stupid extremely soon, you will hate her for the rest of your life so be prepared for that.
>Age: 15
Go up to that German girl and ask her out and get fit, if you don't do either then just kill yourself.
Lottery numbers for date XX/XX/XX are A B C D E F
Tell mum
x3
>>27079196
5
>If the broncos reach the superbowl bet everything. Look up racehorse black caviar- bet everything.
10
>Settle for nothing less than the greatest university
15
>Women are children, use the resources I gave you. Be selfish.
>tell mom to sell her stocks/obligations 2007/04/08, brother already told her but be adamant, she won't believe this note is true, so don't bother. Then invest in Apple (computer company). Also tell mom to check the individual kids savings and just bank whatever is going fine at that date.
>I'm 23. 'Rebekka' is the best girl you will ever meet so get active and ask her out. Keep a close eye on Jenny, she will be interested in you eventually but if you move on Rebekka before she gets interested you will be fine. Also wait until Gabriel is gone, he's a hostile asshole but he has to change schools within the first year so it's fine. You really enjoy programming a lot, start with K&R and work your way up. That visual basic book you got when you were 8 is just misleading.
>start working out fit is a great board, a bit gay but they help your you well. Keep active with work, you get depressed when you don't. Don't ever let go of your ship, dreams or ideas. Start writing them down, any time any place. Avoid the eye at all cost and nothing can harm you. Don't be ashamed about your choice of education. It's legit and it's the best route to learn what you actually want to learn. If Rebekka hasn't panned out yet then don't worry, you will pull through Just don-whaaarg - bleed - bleed - dead-
Don't care if it's not 30 words in each, just cut it off if you'd like God.
>>27079196
>15
Invest in Bitcoin. Stop whatever you're doing and buy as much as you can. Protect it with your life. When 2013 comes, wait until November. It will top at $1,100.
>age 5
"Pay attention in math class, it's very important. Keep playing soccer and baseball, maybe start swimming."
>age 10
"If you haven't started paying attention in math class and playing sports, start now. Heed this warning."
>age 15
"If you haven't started paying attention in math class and playing sports, start now. Heed this warning."
>>27079196
>Age 5
Fight back in school and ignore everything your mother tells you
>Age 10
Fight back in school and destroy anyone who tries to bully you
>Age 15
Stay in school and pass your exams Anon; don't give up
>age 5
Ask Dad to get you on Runescape. Get all the partyhats
>age 10
Keep doing your shit, senpai
>age 15
You good, senpai.
>>27082043
Probably should have told 10 year old me to never go to 4chan. The ship should be higher up so it doesn't get cut off. Very hard to construct this.
>>27079196
>5 years old
school isn't important, but enjoying your childhood is
have fun and don't take life too seriously
>10 years old
work hard, practice your drawing and don't be lazy
never cut any corners or plagiarise; it will ruin your life
>15 years old
be kind to your brother and cherish the moments you have together
he'll be gone in about three years
>>27079196
nothing
i have no regrets even if i hate my life and want to kill myself
>5
Buy partyhats
>10
Keep those partyhats
>15
Socialize more in high school because those antisocial habits you're developing will hurt you later on in life. ALSO SELL YOUR FUCKING PARTYHATS BECAUSE YOU CAN GO TO COLLEGE WITH RUNESCAPE MONEY.
>>27082175
>RWT
>Not getting 200m on every skill
Truly scum.
>>27082208
>Not being chief autist SUOMI or Lynx Titan
How exceedingly casual of me.
>5
Your mother is very unstable. Be patient, keep your head down.
>10
Your mother is slowly starting to get worse, no? Be nice to her.
>15
Don't date, keep your head down, keep your grades up and don't drop out. Ignore the drugs your friends offer you, grow poppies instead.
Age 5
>implying
Age 10
>anything
Age 15
>will change
>Age 5
Remember,
>Age 10
Fuck
>Age 15
Normies
>5
you're doin ok
>10
stop staying up late. get better at maths. do some exercise
>15
don't fall off the lifting/good eating wagon and get fat again. also you will probably be alone forever sorry
5: You're the best.
10: EAT A LOT MORE, stick to 1 sport not 2.
15: You dun goofed.
>>27079196
>5
don't be such an autist you'll regret it
>10
see: note I sent 5 years ago. It's even more important now.
>15
Okay so you ignored my notes and are an autist. You get one last chance in two years so don't fucking screw up or I'll kill you.
>>27079196
To five year old self
>Tell daddy about the headaches - tell him about all of them until he gets a CAT scan done
To 10 year old me
>Convince dad to set up a royalty trust account for you with that money, one that the IRS can't take when they arrest him for tax evasion and confiscate the money, the house, the car, and everything else of value
To 15 year old me
>No, you won't starve or freeze to death. You'll get close, but you'll make it.
>>27082828
Woah, that's deep
But I can't have done this because I didn't get notes in the past
>5
/
>10
You might want to stop staring at the boys in the locker room and start talking to girls
>15
If you did that right, then you should be straight. You're welcome
>>27079196
> 5
Punch someone on your first day of school, don't let them walk all over you
>10
Keep mum from throwing out the bionicle parts, i need that shit
>15
Just keep away from girls. Not worth the effort until Uni. Besides, you don't only like girls when you hit 17 as I've learned.
>5
Kill yourself
>10
Why are you still alive? I told you to fucking kill yourself
>15
You fucking cheeky cunt, GO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF!
Tell 15 year old me to buy bitcoin and wait until I'm 18 to sell them, then be a millionaire
age ten me
"go to the doctor and ask for 'hormone replacement therapy'. it will turn you into a girl like you've always wanted"
fifteen years later i'll pass like i was cis
>5
no
>10
start lifting ASAP
>15
don't let her go...
>>27079196
>5
suhh dude
>10
dont play WoW
>15
finish school
>>27079196
Watch for them crazy bitches and never relationship a bitch till after highschool
>>27079196
>5
Don't start masturbating at 7.
>10
Don't masturbate. Try to control your tics [I've never been diagnosed and I didn't know I had it until I was ~13]
>15
Exercise more
5
??
10
work out, dont worry what other people think, girls like you at school so just go for it and fuck the consequences.
15
dont stop playing sports. play less vidya and keep working out.
Life fixed. i had so many moments in life where i was almost at the point of making it then i fucked up and chickened out. I had young girls throwing themselves at me in elementary school/junior high but i avoided the situation thanks to low self esteem.
>5
enjoy your childhood. You've got a lot to be thankful for.
>10
Grandpa's gonna pass away in a couple years. It'll be bad but it gets better. Anime & manga are fine but guitar is better.
>15
Find x.x.x. here's her address: x. She'll be your wife one day so get on that shit. Play guitar more. Learn piano. Be happy. Try pot
