The easy way
>Call up the local security guard companies
>Tell them you are willing to work nights and weekends
>Start your job in a week and make money
>$8.50 an hour or so, very little human contact
>Soon you will have that 'experience required'
.
The better way
>Call up local Community Colleges (US) or Training Centres (UK) and ask about CDL training (HGV license in the UK) and ask about sponsors
>In both cases 50-90% of the time a company will pay for your training if you agree to work for them for a year
>Do 6-8 weeks of training for about $1,200/1,100 GBP, have a 99% employment rate within a week of completion, starting drivers make about $40k/28K GBP - both above the medians in their countries
>Make good money with little human interaction, get the work experience for other jobs.
Neither job is very physically demanding
Neither requires a lot of human interaction (but if you are good at it you can make more!)
.
Well? Why aren't you already on the phone?
>Neither job is very physically demanding
Night work and driving is notoriously bad for your health.
>implying I'd rather not be NEET
Well you'd be wrong if that's what you're implying
>implying I want to stay up all night or drive trucks
Even NEET is better.
>>27060226
Good ideas anon, worth a try I guess
>>27060226
>anyone would hire a sickly, skinnyfat 5'7 guy for a security guard anywhere
>i live in the west where companies fucking care and would pay to train me
toplol op
Will this really work OP? I thought security guards were supposed to be big and buff.
>>27060343
They are, OP is a fuckface.
>>27060343
No not necessarily. Most security guards are simply there to report. Of course you'd rather have an intimidating bodyguard but judging from the people that walk past my office at night it's not a requirement. Depends on who hires you I'd imagine.
Alternative option
>make flyers for computer repair
>charge decent rates, pick up/drop off if you can
>drop them through people mailboxes
>use google to fix laptops
>>27060253
But sitting on a computer all day is just what the doctor advises
>>27060226
>>Call up the local security guard companies
you need to have a qualification in the uk and most of Europe and some states in america
In the uk its 400 for the cctv operators course and its 2 days
>>Call up local Community Colleges (US) or Training Centres (UK) and ask about CDL training (HGV license in the UK) and ask about sponsors
you wont get one, licenses are expensive and you are not worth the risk for most colleges, you have to be in an area that is desperate for them
>>27060747
>hes still looking for the magic key
I got a job quickly through an employment agency then eventually I got hired by the company. You just have to be willing to do labor though.
>>27060226
>have a 99% employment rate within a week of completion
tfw i am the 1%
>>27060253
Not really. I go by the gym before work and sleep with blackout curtains. I'm in better health than a majority of guys my age.
>>27060747
Most states don't require any certifications for security work. Observe and report is their motto. With experience you can get certs and shit to carry a stick, spray, and or gun, which is more pay and job options, but the majority are paid to stand there and look cool, maybe act as a witness for police reports and court hearings now and then at most. Also pretty much every communitty college will have a CDL program. Licenses are very cheap and there is no risk whatsoever for any colleges. All areas are desperate for truckers because they are usually old and the young ones want to be home with their normie families so overnight and long haul are even more desperate. Most companies even provide the truck. It's literally sign here and the a few weeks later you're getting paid a shitload for listening to audiobooks all day long. The cabs are comfy as fuck and with good cell service and a netbook or tablet with mouse and keyboard you can shitpost, animu, and retro vidya all night long. The only requirement for all trucking companies is don't have a vehicular homicide on record and piss clean. If you just have to live the trucker meth lifestyle tell the doc you're in school and can't focus, bam, adderall prescription you can abuse.
>>27060226
>Call up the local security guard companies
I'm so afraid of being judged I don't even play multiplayer games anymore.
>>27060253
So lift
>>27060280
>>27060343
Security guards are mainly hired as an insurance issue - having someone in the building checking for leaks and fires can save companies $100,000+ a year in insurance so hiring a guy to walk around every now and then for $20k make a lot of sense
I work nights in a psych ward as a tech. It's not the most glamorous job but it's easy as fuck once they're in bed if no walkers are on the unit. The aids clean up shit and the nurses do the real work. I mostly just do the little stuff to keep it running and provide muscle when they act too crazy. I usually read my kindle all night long. I think I want to be a nurse now. It's not like normal interaction because of the gross power difference. I can be the bossman to people, it's speaking on equal terms I struggle with. Night psych nursing sounds pretty sweet, a little less reading time but also 4x higher pay and it's the most prestigious job next to military. I don't know why but if you're military or nurse everyone is falling over themselves to suck your dick despite them being well paying jobs with awesome benefits..
>>27060747
Ahem
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/transport/11924825/Lorry-driver-crisis-could-slow-down-online-deliveries.html
The UK government is thinking of getting involved to train more HGV holders because there are so few of them.
http://www.sia.homeoffice.gov.uk/Pages/licensing-applying.aspx
You can get a security license in a weekend
>>27060253
are you honestly going to keep making excuses you godamn fucking faggot
>6'3" and 210lbs
Should I become a security guard?
>>27060950
>thinking of getting involved
>>27060253
The bad thing about night work is that it seems that people tend to down a lot of caffeine for it. It will obviously wear you down if you use it just to stay awake and even regular. Personally I cut it out of my diet and don't need anything like energy drinks to make it through a shift.
>>27060950
>http://www.sia.homeoffice.gov.uk/Pages/licensing-applying.aspx
How much does it cost?
The licence application fee is 220 for a three year licence, except for front line vehicle immobiliser licences where the fee is 220 for a one year licence.
>>27061188
It varies - email or call. And plenty of firms will pay the fee if you contact them and agree to work for them for a year.
>>27060226
Easiest way I've seen in the US so far - join a temp agency.
If you speak English and have all your limbs you're overqualified. It's almost always warehouse work which sucks dick, but you never have to interact with customers and don't need a uniform. I got my first job through a temp agency - folding cardboard boxes for $10/hr. Well above minimum wage for the easiest work of my life. Only downside is the jobs eventually end and there's usually always a good couple weeks to a month between new ones, but it gets your foot in the door for better jobs.
>>27061234
my dad thinks the same way you do
after he was proven wrong he still believed it and tried himself when he was made redundant
I got an apology then
>>27060226
my state requires qualification which costs money I don't have (and no, companies will not pay for it out here). I can't legally drive because of my anxiety medication. Fuck you, retard. I hate normalfags who thing they have everything figured out
>CDL school
top kek m8
here in America the smart thing to do is become a merchandiser for coke or pepsi. All they ask is a CDL license, which you can get with a paper test. They give you on the job training and slowly move you up to the big trucks. Bam, take your CDL, pass with flying colors without spending 4 grand OR becoming totally fucking beholden to some truck company, and I assure you you WILL be beholden to them. Fucking hobos can become truck drivers, they need to bend you over the table to justify spending 4 thousand on some schmuck.
>>27061289
>CDL license
CDL permit*
Just join the army. Complete the training and then get a doctor to confirm that you're mentally unstable.
FUCKING WAGEKEK GET OFF MY BOARD SHOO SHOO
I like how you didn't mention the 500+ quid worth of driving lessons and tests you need before even applying for the HGV
>>27060253
I stay up nights anyway.
>>27061261
FFS
So you and your father applied for a security license and were turned down?
Guess what? That means your background check revealed you were both criminals or mentally ill or some combo.
You got a license each and never found a job? Unlikely - there are currently over 1,800 security officer positions open just in the London Metro area and more than 1,000 require no experience, just an SIA license.
>>27061273
Then call a temp agency and sign up - what is your closest metro area, I'll get you the web site.
>>27061388
In the US there are quite a few companies that will pay for your training because there's a shortage of drivers, don't know about the UK though.
>>27061388
In the first post I wrote
>>Do 6-8 weeks of training for about $1,200/1,100 GBP
So I actually said it costs about 1,100 pounds AND mentioned how to get someone else to pay for it.
attention to detail, lad.
>>27061470
see
>>27060950
there is a worse shortage in the UK
>>27061446
Every temp agency out here is staffed by Hispanic women who barely speak English who only give jobs to other Hispanic women. They delay and delay your interviews or call you at ridiculous times to say that they gave you a chance
>>27060557
This. If your soul can take it, you can overexplain simple problems and charge more. Normies wouldn't know any better.
Too all the people bitching about the cost of training for truck driving, it took me less than 5 minutes on craigslist to find a company willing to pay for all training courses and licenses.
https://minneapolis.craigslist.org/dak/trp/5484296172.html
You have no excuses.
>>27061510
I have a friend who does this on the side. It's not his main source of income but he says nine times out of ten it's literally as easy as updating drivers, running a virus/malware scan, cleaning out the registry and cleaning out dust from the computer. I imagine if he lived anywhere but the rural hellhole he lives in now he'd make a lot more money.
>>27061506
Translation:
>Boo-hoo-hoo
Metro area?
>>27061567
Another normalfag who doesn't understand that life isn't the same everywhere
Typical
>>27060226
You have to be 26 to be a truck driver, here in the States anyway. Also I don't think your average robot would get hired as a security guard. Too many big brutish people competing for that job. If you really want a job, try a temp agency.
>>27061521
>Swift
Yeah, you're an idiot
>>27061521
Or call the Technical College offering the training - they usually have a list of multiple companies willing to do so if you sign a contract with them.
Hell - some of them pay you during training!
>>27061571
No, another grown man that recognizes avoidance when he sees it.
C'mon, be a man. Tell me the Metro and you can prove me wrong!
>>27060226
>got interviewed by a local security firm 3 fucking times last few months. the same fucking firm
>said they'd call me and provide me with the uniforms
>still no fucking call
>called to ask WTF
>get re-directed to HR by front desk
>never fucking answer
>the one time I did get answered they "duh anon u live too far dere are no positions neer U"
>tell them it's no problem, I'm willing to commute
>"hur dur rather hire sum1 clozer to dah aree-uh"
>I have military and police training(Natty-G weekend warrior and Navy vet)) and bilingual too and still not hired
and somehow it's MY fault for not having a job.
normies are fucking liars and yet WE'RE the ones with the problem
Security guard here. I work for 2 companies. It's shit Pay. (Min. $10/hr in California). The good thing is you can negetoiate for a post near your house if you don't have a car, and usually the work is easy. I'm currently working 82 hours a week because I asked for it. I'm tired as fuck but I eat healthy and exercise when i can. The best way security work can be described is "place holder work." So you can work as little or as much as you want or are willing to negotiate while going to school or whatever. Seriously though, if you need money and/or work XP, security yo.
>>27061627
i guess keep trying and expand to other jobs as well.
maybe they will hire you if you show you keep coming back. the worst is that they won't say anything
it would be easier for you anyway to find a job closer. you might lose too much money if you commute too far.
>>27061586
>https://minneapolis.craigslist.org/dak/trp/5484296172.html
let's look at
http://www.truckdriverssalary.com/swift-transportation-pay-scale/
which says
>"Swift Trucking is known as a solid and reliable company for new CDL drivers. They pay on time, every week and by and large offer the best starting pay for new drivers. They do this through their own training program and truck driving school that puts new drivers on the fast track to a professional trucking career.
They even have a program that allows new drivers to pay for their training over a 2+ year time span after the complete their training. So if you are starting from scratch, we feel that Swift Transportation offers the best turn key program to go from a rookie to a professionally trained OTR driver."
>>27061627
Any other firms in the area?
>>27061647
>the good thing is you can negetoiate for a post near your house if you don't have a car
really? I don't have a car and I need to get a job asap
I plan on working full time. sounds amazing
>>27061627
>police training
Anon, they are probably doing something illegal and are worried you will let it slip to one of your old friends
>>27061661
Once again, you are an idiot. You will not get any job elsewhere with a Swift CDL license and they are notorious for dropping you right after training and leaving you with a fat tuition bill.
>>27061684
Where do you live? I'm lucky to be in a major city so it's easier for me. Check Craigslist for companies hiring. They often will interview and have you working within a week or less.
>>27061613
Why? So that you can give me links to places that I've been in and out of for weeks only to be greeted by a 40 year old hispanic woman every single time. How fucking conceited do you have to be to think that you've figured it out for everyone?
i did a security thing but ended up working at a giant facility with 11 other people watching cameras and answering phones ended up freaking out after 3 weeks and just left
somehow haven't' been fired yet might contact other companies or just call hr
>>27061273
>I can't legally drive because of my anxiety medication. Fuck you, retard.
jesus christ
>>27061708
So - go to a technical college, get a CDL from them, and use some different company to pay for it.
FFS, it isn't like Swift is the only firm out there
>Plus - Glassdoor, BBB, and TrockerSalary all say you're exaggerating a lot
>>27061822
>Glassdoor, BBB, and TrockerSalary
>place where you pay to look good, place where you pay to look good, and place that you pay to look good say I'm exaggerating.
WOW
>>27060226
i got the best security job anyone could ever have and the last two years ive spent there have been the worst years of my entire life
first it started with the constant feeling like i was suffocating
then i had cold sweats and chills all day every day that made me want to die
then i stopped being able to digest milk or grains, lost a ton of weight, and now my back and shoulders are rapidly deteriorating and are in complete agony all the time even if i eat shitloads of protein and calcium, and exercising one time makes me fucking visibly lose muscle
but i guess it beats the weeks of agony or few seconds of sheer terror before dying of starvation or suicidal hopelessness
does it?
>>27061839
you are a troll, you literally have no arguments other than "your an idiot" or single word comebacks, if you have an actual argument against something then contribute, if not then fuck off.
>>27061768
Because I think you're a fucking liar. that's why. I see guys like you all the time
>"Oh, all the recruiters there are Hindi and they only hire Hindis or offer shit jobs to Whites"
Funny - I just placed 3 White guys into decent 3-6 month contracts with that firm last week and they don't have a single Hindi on their staff
>"Oh, they call me at 9 pm at night and ask me to show up at 5 am; they did that so they could pretend they offered me a job"
Actually, I have the copy of the email where you agreed to work the morning shift and that was a reminder call - you were a No Show so they gave the job to someone else.
>"I've been to every temp agency in this city, all 8, and none of them have any work"
I work with 30 agencies and that is only a portion of them, and they have job openings that consist of 'can see, walk, and hold things' they can't fill.
>>27060343
i was 170 when i started and now weigh 130 and they havent fired me, everyone just laughs at me behind my back probably, especially people who ask my profession, they can barely contain laughing right in my face
>>27061839
>Doesn't understand how Glassdoor works
So - you've *never* had a job, then?
Your entire argument boils down to
>"Well, sure, that is all TRUE, but I think this one company that was pointed out is bad, so fuck off"
Tomorrow you will be back to whining
>"bloo-bloo-boo-hoo, the mean old Boomers won't let me get a job, boo-hoo"
>>27061783
>ended up freaking out after 3 weeks and just left
dude what
why
>>27061863
....
Maybe you should see a doctor
>>27061759
US
but not in a major city unfortunately.
>>27060226
better hop on the commercial driving meme while you can. robotic cars are coming, and they will replace you. Entirely.
>>27061878
>I know how everyone lives!
>I can't be wrong!
You just keep proving me right every single post
>>27061941
Not likely.
Inventory control and tracking, transit security, materials handling, etc. are all part of commercial driving.
Robots can't do that.
>>27061905
Do you know how glassdoor works? They aren't going to shit talk some one who is actively paying them. I have a job and I'm not complaining. Telling people to go to Swift is like telling them to go to an unaccredited university. When I see idiots like you telling people to go to them, I make sure to say something
>graduated college in December
>applied for over a hundred positions
>only got one interview
>the listing for the job was misleading, it ended up being commission-based sales bullshit that I have no interest in ever doing
>first one in my family to graduate
>they all expect me to do great things and think a college degree is a free pass to instant success so I get to deal with the pressure of expectations on top of the stress of job hunting
>>27061946
So far all you have said is
>"every temp agency near me is staffed solely with Hispanic women who refuse to give me work"
C'mon, Oppressed Robot - tell us the metro so you can be proven correct!
No security firms?
No trucking centers?
Just - Hispanic Female Staffed Temp Agencies Who Hate White Men, right?
>>27061928
Apply for everything and anything at your Walmart/target/w.e and get a foot in the door.
>>27060557
It is illegal in the US to put things in peoples mailboxes unless you pay for postage and go through the post office.
>>27062031
are you ever forced to do tasks that require heavy lifting because well i am skinny.. and I can't life andI'm a femboy and don't want muscles ;_;
>>27062069
lift **
thiscomentisnotoriginal
>>27061996
LOL.
Yeah, they allow companies to do that but the employee reviews are not moderated unless the employer can prove something.
Look
https://www.glassdoor.com/Reviews/Swift-Transportation-Reviews-E2065.htm?sort.sortType=OR&sort.ascending=true&filter.employmentStatus=REGULAR&filter.employmentStatus=PART_TIME&filter.employmentStatus=UNKNOWN
Swift does have plenty of bad reviews including people saying 'go to company X, instead'
They have more middling to good reviews.
and ONCE AGAIN - so what? Go to a different company with a better reputation!
The point is, even IF Swift is as bad as Anon is whining about (and obviously some people agree with him and some don't) it does NOT change the fact that it is pretty easy to get a decent job quickly.
Are you done whining about Glassdoor, yet?
>>27062018
Major?
Metro area?
>ITT: NEETs looking for more excuses not to work
>tfw I am coasting through Education
>>27061863
Diabetes or hyperthyroidism I wanna say
dealing with similar symptoms myself and am planning on seeing a doctor soon
I've lost 30 lbs and have a bmi of 13.8, barely hovering above the essential fat threshold. It's funny nobody in my family believes me, thank god for legal thienobenzodiazepines
>>27062115
History. I know it's shit tier but I'm retarded at math so STEM was never an option. My degree couldn't even get me an interview for an entry level position at a fucking museum.
I live a few hours from all these places but I have been applying to jobs in Kansas City, Topeka and Wichita.
>>27062181
>History
STEM meming aside, this was always a retarded degree. Get yourself in the hole for another $2k by going to a trade school or getting some certifications so you can get a real job.
>>27062181
Look at marketing and sales - both need people who are good at reading, writing, and building narratives. HR also likes History majors
>>27062181
Do you have a two year or a four year degree in history? You might be able to be an adjunct for a community college with a four year.
Will they cut out the middle man and pay me in tendies, or do I still have to go to the foods libraries
>>27062246
Had no clue what I want to do (still don't) and I couldn't do STEM so I went with something I enjoy
>>27062266
I have applied for some marketing positions but why interview the historyfag when 100 people with marketing degrees are also applying. Not doing sales. I'm a shy introvert. I have never been a people person. /r9k/ of all places should understand this.
>>27062268
Four year degree from a large state school. I did look into that, they all want at least Masters degrees. I'm not falling for the "Just go to school and shit will work out" meme twice so grad school isn't happening.
>decided to work in security for bux
>try to get neetbux for training
>have to get passport
>get passport
>get neetbux
>do the training
>realize I need a license to work in security as well
>realize you need references which I don't have
>work out loophole that needs more bux
>get on neetbux again
>loophole that reference requirement
>finally have training and license
>two years have passed, just about fucking done with life
>send resumes everywhere
>no luck
>finally get reply
>employer is pretty good, they constantly find places for me to work at
All I have to do is show up on time, look neat and pretend to be a normie. If you can pretend to be a normie after years of being cripplingly alone and silently observing how normies interact while having gone through years of painful trial and error in acting normal, then security is a pretty good job to get you back on track.
>>27062069
Observe and report son. Only get physical when you need to protect yourself. You might have to do a lot of walking but nothing more physical. If your employer says you have to lift heavy shit, ask for more money and health insurance. Then don't do the work
>>27060226
I can confirm. My security company literally always has full time openings at $10/hr.
>>27062426
ok thank you Guardfag :^)
>>27060226
Thanks for the advice anon but I started a college degree and got a part time job at McDonalds.
I would love to be a truck driver if I dropped out though, seems like an ideal job for a roboto.
>>27062510
I'm being serious when I say McDonald's can be an OK career choice. Work your way up into corporate and they pay for hamburger college. Sounds like a joke but it can be a career
>>27062510
>I would love to be a truck driver if I dropped out though, seems like an ideal job for a roboto.
I wonder if they accept hours and hours of European Truck Simulator 2 and American Truck Simulator as work experience.
>>27060226
>implying I have a driving license
Where do you think you are
>>27060226
I've really considered going for a security guard type job, i'm generally observant and organized all round, even living off a coffee heavy lifestyle which cuts my need to sleep.
I always thought that a security job would highly favour someone quite big and strong though, in case of something like people breaking in.I know that calling the police is the routine if it does happen, but a large guard will always be seen as more intimidating generally than a scrawny guy.
>>27061357
Will you still get GI bill benefits or whatever it is?
>>27062298
Unfortunately you'd have to buy them yourself famalam
>>27063019
Look for my other posts about security work
>>27063958
Checked and put into consideration
>>27060226
Tfw near st louis and the only hiring security guard jobs are in stl.
Too scared for that shit
>>27061580
>try a temp agency
I don't know what it's like in the States but here these are completely worthless and will just waste your time/travel expenses
Not just those either, there are tons of easy jobs out there
see:
https://youtu.be/VA5yanQkTHE
>>27061878
If you actually employ pajeets in any capacity regardless you are everything that is wrong with this shithole society.
>>27065003
I am saying that saying 'they are all Hindis/Hispanics/etc.' is a cop out
I really doubt security companies would consider me once they see I'm a 5'3" 110 white guy. Seriously I'm probably as intimidating as a basket of puppies.
>>27066012
see
>>27060906
I've seen 5'0" asian girls making good money
>>27060226
>having to guard something and he constantly vigilant to the threat of criminals
>having to drive an enormous truck
unfortunately my anxiety goes far beyond just social interaction
That's all fine and dandy. But how do I get money to stay at home on /r9k/ all day? The government can't just let me die, can they? There's gotta be some funding out there. You don't hear on the news about millions of lazy NEETs dying out on the streets. They gotta be making it work somehow.
>>27066819
If you live in the US, mturk or clickworker. If not, apply for neetbux.
>>27066819
Many NEETs, like myself, have the support of family members but don't get any government assistance.
Aside from that, there are plenty of homeless people without jobs who manage to survive off scraps and such rather than just dying.
I'm sure there are plenty who DO die, though. Just not millions.
