>Eat last chocolate bar in box
>put empty box back in snack draw
Ha fuck you future me
anyone else feeling D E V I L I S H today?
>>27058346
>Take a taxi
>tell the driver "this is close enough, just drop me off here"
>Have sprained ankle and it's agony walking the last few metres
>talk to girl in coffee shop
>she tells me to please leave her alone
>slash her tires, key her car and shit all over her windshield, windows and door handles later that day
>guy asks for wholemeal bread for his sandwhich
>I give him white
Hahahaha he might have a heart attack because of that. Enjoy your carbs dude!!!
Bump, this thread is hilarious
>client asks for information
>i dont know
>i actually do
>>27058471
absolute M A D M A N anon
>be in infants school
>ask teacher whether i can go to the toilet
>"when you've finished your writing task anon"
>go anyway
bring on the chaos
>>27058346
> draw
> not drawer
Ebonics detected.
>>27058606
Its my way of being naughty anon. dont you see how unhinged i am,
>remember to wipe when you finish on the toilet anon
>dont wipe
>dad turns the heating down, says its costing too much
>turn it back up again once he leaves
Cold causes loss of motivation you know, how will I ever feel well enough to get a job if its too cold around here?
>have ab - blood type
>never donate
fuck you normies,i aint giving you shit
>Guy asks me for directions to the station
>Deliberately send him in the opposite direction >"oh you're a long way from there mate"
>use by 9 March 2016
>eat it anyway
>>27060629
Madness anon. Madness
>ask girl out
>she says no
>kill her
>past me left milk out on side so itd go off
>Today i tried to put milk in my tea and it had all solidified
Fuck you past me you fucking degenerate
>have family history of type 1 diabetes, ingrown toenails and heart disease
>lie about this and say my genes are great when applying to be sperm donor
>they buy it
>mfw I'm getting paid to dump poison into the normie gene pool
>>27058346
>customer asks for extra picklw on their mac
>handful of pickles on their mac
Hope you enjoy them pickles mate. Just order from the fucking menu faggot.
>>27058434
literally what top kek
>>27060629
>>27060663
>>27060699
>>27061441
my sides
oc
>>27060699
>servings per container: 8
>eat it all in one sitting
>>27061644
>ask for extra jalapenos on subway
>girl thinks she's being clever when she fills my sub to the brim with jalapenos
>jokes on her because that's the way i like it
>>27061707
>Front staff ask for cheese
>throw cheese slice at her face.
Be more precise.
>customer asks for double only cheese.
>only put cheese in the wrapper.
I got a reprimand for that, thanks bitch.
>neighbour lovea his shitty carso much he is always reving it (never seen him drive it though)
>cut his pipes, tires and put a log in his exhaust
