Getting a first handy in my life in 2 hours. Gonna go shave myself soon, anything I need to know guys?
>>27038725
Is the girl experienced?
last thing you want is her to crush your dick
>>27038756
Semi experienced. Jacked off maybe a few cocks but not a whore
>>27038790
>jacked off a few cocks
>not a whore
Sure, whatever you say
>>27038801
for fuck's sake not at the same time but total in her life.
>>27038825
I know, still makes her a whore
>>27038725
Put cologne on your penis so it doesn't smell. Otherwise she might say "ew" and zip your pants back up.
>>27038790
>fell for the whore shit test bait
>if you reply she has no experience you're a cuck
>if you reply she has experience she's a whore
God I have this big fantasy. So I'm dressed in drag, with a flirty dress and some heels and copious mascara and I've got my best wig on. Looking in the mirror, very happy the results. I would fuck me, and I know I'm a dude. You head over to my place and I invite you in. We share a bit of small talk, I'm very saucy and a bit of a slut. You just know you're gonna get laid tonight. So we go into my bedroom, you lie on the bed. I make you put on a blindfold, because I'm a kinky bitch. You're fucking amped up, you can't believe this is happening, you've been waiting so long. Excitement fills up your chest. Then you feel a sharp pinch. Oh, the fucking whine you let out like a big ol' wild hog! Your cock was on fire and you could feel it splitting apart. You tear off the blindfold, and I'm there gripping your dick with a hair straightener on the highest temperature. You try to get it off but you're way too out of shape. You're not gonna win a fight against a NEET with a rigorous daily exercise routine and the highest belt in taekwando. The straightener burns right through your cock and all you're left with is a little burnt nob. You pass right the fuck out from the pain, just knocked out cold. When you wake up, I'm long gone. You think I'd bring him to my house? So I fiddle with lockpicking now and then, not too hard. But you look down at your cock and vomit just flies out your throat. I've sown your right hand on to what was left of your cock. Hey, gotta hand it to me. I'm a master craftsman. I think I did a pretty good handjob.
You're supposed to stop her after about 3-5 minutes and then put penis in vagina
You can do it better yourself.
>>27039140
This is still really gay anon, since you are dresses in drag an handling another mans cock in your little fantasy
Piss first.
Be cordial, try not to be totally silent or anything.
>>27039687
>men have to fake pleasure
>women can outright tell you you suck
Left it late to shave anon, one little mistake and she's going to be stroking scabs and/or blood.
>>27038725
>>27038790
>>27038825
>>27038904
Ask her to use Vicks vapor rub.
Feels amazing man,
best handy ever. \
especially if you just shaved
>>27038725
Get her to lick your nipple.
>>27039956
I never said to fake anything, and women are far more vocal in bed.
Not every issue has to be about men's rights.
>>27038725
ask if you can suck her dick
>>27038725
Don't shave. At most, trim.
Also, remember what my dear ol' dad said to me, although he didn't have junk in mind when he said it:
THE IMPORTANCE OF THE EVENT FOR WHICH YOU ARE SHAVING, IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO THE SIZE OF THE CUT THAT YOU WILL ACCIDENTALLY GIVE YOURSELF WHILE SHAVING FOR THAT EVENT.
Being a denizen of this board, the most important life event for which I have shaved myself was a college graduation. (and not, say, my own wedding, or a high-powered job interview, or a prom, etc) Of course, even this dq's me from using this board, depending on who you ask.
>>27038725
you could use electric trimmers with a guard on them so you could trim without worrying about cutting yourself.
>>27038725
Handies aren't great because you can do a better job yourself
Ask for a little suckie suckie?
>>27038725
ask her to use a yellow kitchen glove, texture on palm = goodfeelsman.exe
be sure to use lube/lotion
If she lays next to you body pressure feels almost like sex.
also wash really well down there, including the undercarriage.
