>do weewee
>use big flush
WHO DEVILISH?
>walk dog
>dont pick up his poop
take that normie scum i hope your shoes get all dirty
>please take one
>take two
>public bathroom
>no air dryer
>shitty paper towel dispenser
>throw used paper towel on floor
>save money each year by just filling my backpack up with toilet paper from public toilets
>mommy tells me to turn the tv off before I go to sleep
>leave it on all night
>>27035107
Yes
This. I thought I was the only one
>>27034984
Jokes on you i always wipe my dog's ass
>"take a penny, leave a penny"
>take one
>>27035107
That...is a dam good idea anon you get credit for that.
>let microwave timer go off even when I can easily prevent it
>slowly open new bottle of pop so it goes "psssssshhhhhh" for as long as possible
>>27034936
>smear whale shit on bathroom walls
>they told me not to...
>i did it again
>>27035160
Leave a penny to drive up inflation
>>27035164
You're such a retard
>early hours of the morning
>middle of the week
>have had friends over getting high in my room all night
>3 of them left
>one of them always passes out on my bed
>every fucking night he gets blazed as fuck as hard as he can on my weed so he can pass out on my bed so he doesn't have to go home
>steals it every night
>just so happens i drank an entire bottle of prune juice earlier that day
>i get the urge
>hes passed out with his mouth open snoring on my mattress
>i pull down my pants and bring my bare arse cheeks inches away from his face
>let a loud, gurgling prune fart right in his face rip
>the smell burns your nostrils
>he gets mad as fuck
>"wtf is wrong with you?"
>"huh wha??"
>"go back to fucking kindergarten
>meanwhile other two friends are hysterical
>he says that it smells like a baby nursery
>another time something similar happens
>he says it smells like a "chicken coop"
>>27035204
You're a troll but hey that's cool i got you here
>>>/b/
>>27035141
Please listen to your mother.
>complain that no one ever responds to me on /r9k/
>"Hi anon whats up?"
>"I don't want to talk to you."
>>27035230
Only if i get to fuck mommy if i listen.
i only recycle cans, bottles, glass and paper
BUT NOT FOOD WASTE!
>10 items or less
>bring 11 items
>>27035211
You're a fucking faggot. bl0xblox
>>27034999
>>27035141
>>27035160
>>27035170
>>27035186
>>27035256
These are so cute
>bike lane is available
>ride bike on sidewalk
>>27035243
Please refrain from having sex with your mother!
>Delivery instructions
>"Ring my phone when you arrive my doorbell is broke"
>doorbell is perfectly fine
:^)
>"How are you doing today?"
>"Good, thanks."
>I'm actually doing terrible
>do poopoo
>use small flush
>Big flush
>Small flush
is this some clapburger thing because I've never seen a toilet with anything other than one flush
>barista asks my name for my order
>"my name's Joe"
>it's actually John
>Go to synagogue
>Yell "fuck you kikes"
>Am actually a kike myself
>>27035282
Fuck off, and yes this is original, reddit.
>>27035359
>give the same name as the person who ordered before you
>try to take his order
>make up a story to post on 4chan
>It never actually happened
>>27035170
This is the worst offender in the thread.
>>27035357
You just use half a flush-press it's not hard.
>take meth every day
>make future me run out of money and drop out of school and lose all his friends and make his whole family disown him
>he's not gonna get any of the meth because I'll have spent all his money and he'll be stuck with his shitty life without any crutches
>Go to women's bathroom
>Cum on the toilet and smear it on toilet paper
>A girl comes in into that stall a second after
Oh boy oh boy
>barista asks if i want anything else
>say no
>i actually wanted a cupcake
tricked that bitch real good
>>27035277
why?
fgrblox
>>27035449
got her good
>walk into girl's bathroom
>they shriek
>tell them i identify as a girl and they need to check their privilege and are offending me
>drop wicked stinky shit
>sticky says no BLOX posts
bloxbloxblox
>"stay tuned. we'll be right back after these messages"
>turn off tv
>>27035401
>mad because I didn't call his post cute
>go to public restroom and shit all over the floor and seat, piss on the toilet paper
>try on clothes in store changing room, take a sloppy shit in the clothes and smear 'REEEEE' on the mirror
>take frozen shits in ziploc bags out in public with me, put the shits in letterboxes, on cars, even put one in a Barbie dolls box in a store once
>in a public toilet, toss a shit over into the next occupied stall and run
>took dumps all over uni campus and became known as the phantom shitter, still not caught
>piss on public drink fountains
>once unleashed a massive pool of diarrhea in the middle of a macdonalds queue (this was by accident) and ran out
Anyone else do similar things?
>at DMV
>Please take a seat and wait until your number is called
>Stand
>hit it off with qt girl
>get her number
>never text her
>>27035603
>Chat to a girl on tinder for a week
>Says she really likes you and wants to meet up tomorrow
>Delete her
>>27035564
seek assistance.
>download movie
>delete movie
>download it again
>delete it again
>repeat over and over
>cost the movie studios millions in lost sales
>>27035640
Absolute savagry
>get change from cashier
>tell them they gave me too much
>give them back 5 cents
>at the end of the day their till will be over by 5 cents
>they will think they did something wrong and recount it all
>go on craigslist
>make post looking for gay sex in a public place
>make the arrangements via email
>usually get the guy to wear something silly to identify himself
>sit across the street and watch as the dude gets confused and waits, sometimes for an hour or more
>leave
I've done this quite a few times.
>*video game title screen appears*
>"press start to begin"
>press A to begin instead
>>27035564
I'm not quite as dedicated as you man but I do like to piss all over public toilets and on cars. What is it that makes it so satisfying?
>>27034936
>Torrent old games that everyone loves
>Never seed any of them
>Server busy. Please try again
>Don't
DEVILISH
>>27035357
The dual flush toilet is Australia's proudest invention
>go to an eatery
>order my food
>"Have here or take-away?"
>"take away, thanks"
>they bag my food
>the cashier can only stare on in abject horror as I take my food, sit down at their tables and start eating
>>27035921
>ask for unsalted fries
>ask if I can get salt on them after
>be indian
>poo in loo
>>27035959
I smell heresy.
A B S O L U T E L Y D E V I L I S H 1 0 0 %
>>27034936
>don't flush at all
>bang the bitch summoning stick to wall middle of the night
>mum rushes to my room and asks what's wrong
>tell her i had a nightmare and want to cuddle
>i actually didnt have a nightmare, just wanted to cuddle
>"Hey Anon, are you hungry?"
>"Nah."
>I was
>>27035416
A flush is a flush, you can't have just half.
>do poopoo
>accidentally breaks the flush
>put it back in place so don't look broken
>next person who uses it will think he broke it
>>27036171
>go to someones howse
>want to pee really bad
>don't
>Barista asks what my name is at Starbucks
>Smelma pits
He has no choice but to read it out
>do poopoo
>go in the wrong part of the store's toilet
>Rules say no get posts.
>Get trips
>>27035211
>still have to clean your own bed
>>27035282
You are so cute.
Original of course.
>Error 500: Internal Server Error. Please try again later.
>Never try again
>Friend asks me to call back when I hear something new
>Don't hear anything new
>call back anyway
>"Would you like to donate a dollar to a local food bank?"
>"Sure."
>I didn't actually want to
>>27037241
nah not really dude
>>27036137
Damn son I do this aswell
>>27037284
You are cute inside then.
>>27037327
nah not reaIIy dude
>>27036180
Go back to veh faggot.
>>27037304
You fucking cheeky cunt.
>>27037365
Guess not then. Go fuck yourself with a cactus.
>>27037327
That's a dude, no doubt about it. I know we all wish it was a cute posting femanon, but it's not.
>>27037407
Don't care, just thought it was a nice post.
>>27037401
NO!
RUDE!
captcha: select pictures of cacti
>>27035564
>took dumps all over uni campus and became known as the phantom shitter, still not caught
MY FUCKING SIDES HOLY SHIT
>walk into girls change room
>avert my eyes before anyone sees me
>girls scream and I excuse myself
>walking straight out without another word
>did it on purpose
>>27035489
Kek desu
i loved it
>>27035679
>the only believable and devilish post.
12/10
>>27037304
> that pic
well played
>>27037610
Dude it's not even a good crop
how could you fall for that?
>>27037642
Most people don't look very long before clicking on an image.
>go to the movies with chips
>wait until a quiet part of the movie to open them.
>>27037664
But you don't have to look for long
it's really obvious.
>Doggy eats my sandwhich
>Punch him in the face
>>27037642
[spoiler/] I didn't [spoiler/]
>"Press any key to continue"
>click with mouse
>press any key to play
>presses power button
>>27034936
I pee in the sink for this reason. It's a fucking waste of resources to flush the toilet every 2 hours my body deems necessary to evacuate some clear urine.
>have girlfriend
>breakup with her so she can be with chad
THAT WILL SHOW THAT ROASTIE FUCKING WHORE!!!
>>27038279
It's only proof that you love her, even if she's not with you.
>costs 19.99
>i give the cashier a 20
>cashier asks if i want the change
>i say no
i wanted the change
Beat me, fuckbots
>>27035564
I one time wrote "help" on the wall with my shit in some bathroom before because i felt like it
>Shopping at Sheklemart
>knock price tag off rack
>kick it under rack
>>27037446
What a qt
Orinigal
>>27035300
I think we all know that feel buddy
>Buy one get one free offer
>Only buy one
>"Sir do you know there is an offer on this?"
>Go get the second one for free
>leave it behind after purchasing it
>Live in an apartment
>Come home and call the elevator
>Door opens
>Run and use the stairs
>have full diaper
>lots of peepee
>gonna leak
>let loose torrent of piss anyway
>>27038418
*PUNCHES YOU*
>>27039135
>le r e d d i t
>You have been muted for 4 seconds, because your comment was not original.
>you have to have a movie ticket to buy popcorn from the theater
>I walk past the guy who checks for tickets without a ticket
>proceed to purchase popcorn
