I'm 19 years old in high school. My grades are mediocre and I'm going to uni after the summer. I'm literally autistic and all my life I've been an outcast. I had some friends when I was 15 but I lost them when we started high school. Now I can't make friends to save my life. No one really cares about me. My brother who is one year younger than me is basically a perfect version of me and my parents love him many times more than me.
I can see nothing good in my future. I'm going to a shit uni, I won't be able to make friends there, I will have to take huge student loans and I'm not even interested in studying. I'm just going to uni to delay having to be an adult.
I'm way too immature for my age. I behave like a fucking 14 year old. I'm the school shooter type, too. Silent and angry at things most of the time. People always joke about not pissing me off so I won't shoot up the school.
One thing that makes me want to kill myself before my 20th birthday is, it's ok for me to be like this now. I'm "just a troubled teenager behaving like teenagers do". When I'm 20 and at college I will be expected to behave like an adult and I don't want that and I probably can't either. If I could just be a teenager in high school for the rest of my life all would be ok. But now I have to grow up and take responsibility. That would also be fine, I guess, if I wasn't such a fucking autistic failure.
What am I supposed to do? Go to a uni I don't like, study something I'm completely uninterested in, get a job I will hate, grow up into a boring adult, never have a wife or kids and be happy with that? Might as well kill myself now, so I at least get some sympathy for being a teenager.
I failed at real life too. I think I'm going to go to a hotel somewhere far away and go on a big bender culminating in overdose or suicide.
>>27023575
A school shooting is your only real option here. Find a way to stream it and you will be legendary.
>>27023575
>When I'm 20 and at college I will be expected to behave like an adult.
Top kek. Nobody expects you to do anything. The behaving like an adult will just help you get good grades, and add some structure to your life.
>What am I supposed to do? Go to a uni I don't like, study something I'm completely uninterested in, get a job I will hate, grow up into a boring adult, never have a wife or kids and be happy with that? Might as well kill myself now, so I at least get some sympathy for being a teenager.
Welp. You could stop strawmanning yourself and your life. That would be an excellent start.
No wonder you're so fucking miserable, you think those things are your only options.
Don't bother with school. You're not ready.
and you're not even all that interested.
>>27023575
Well you've worked out a good list of things that are wrong with you. So that's the major step. Just start fixing that shit one thing at a time.
>When I'm 20 and at college I will be expected to behave like an adult and I don't want that and I probably can't either.
Kek what a load of shit.
Anyway Uni is a fresh start you can clean up and be whoever you want with these strangers. So fake it till you make it and go be someone better.
>What am I supposed to do? Go to a uni I don't like, study something I'm completely uninterested in, get a job I will hate, grow up into a boring adult, never have a wife or kids and be happy with that?
Study something employable and get a job that pays well. The wife and kids will grow off that like the parasites they are.
I dunno where you get this shit most people never grow up and take responsibility. There's fuckloads of losers out there in shit jobs living with their parents or in cheap accomodation and cruising right through to a state funded care home.
>>27023725
Everything I have done to improve my life has failed. I always try when I get the chance because I'm tired of living like this. But please, if you happen to know a way to turn my life around, share it.
I'm pretty sure what I described is what's gonna happen to me. It's what's gonna happen if nothing changes until then.
If you don't wanna study don't make the mistake of going to school. I did that and ended up with shitty grades. Shitty grades don't go away from your transcript.
Get a shitty job and think about what you wanna do with your life.
Trust me. Don't go to college without the intention of working hard.
>>27023713
I don't wanna do that. It's no their fault.
>>27023823
There's no magic words I can give you.
Besides, You're young, naive, and wouldn't listen anyway.
In fact, your level of pessimism betrays just that.
If you don't turn and creative and expectative eye towards your life, you'll never find anything there.
Dude just drink some water
>>27024071
Not him, I'm curious about this.
Is this some sort of meta-shitpost? or is there a method to your madness?
>>27023575
>I had some friends when I was 15 but I lost them when we started high school.
Must be nice being able to go to high school AND have food.
Maybe you should think about your problems and their significance
>>27023575
Christ, what an asshole. Have you given any thought to how other people feel? Ever?
OP don't engage them, it makes you look like an idiot.
>>27024162
And what's that supposed to mean?
>>27024100
That doesn't really help, does it? I know my life is shit compared to the lives of those around me and I'm pretty sure, considering my past, that my future will be shit too. That's all that matters.
>>27023575
if youre somewhat intelligent, ill be your friend
im in more or less the same situationdoing physics in uni and love it desu but have no friends whatsoever
Honestly OP don't go to uni in your current situation. If you don't know what you want to study then you're just going to pick a shit major, waste 4+ years and come out in debt and you will still not be hirable. Go to a trade school or just work out of high school. Make some money, and you will learn to socialize because of co-workers. Then if you discover something you're passionate about you can return to school. If that never happens, so be it.
>>27024228
I was pointing out that by your age i had nothing to eat, lived in a house where i slept on rotting mattress while rats ran around my head.
Could not go to high school cause no parents around to sign my application form.
So, my point was that your shit aint THAT bad at fucking all. You are still thinking about fixing your life and whatever all i did at your age was completely check out from the world and live in fantasy land+addictions to cope with my situation and lack of adults.
>>27023801
>most people never grow up and take responsibility. There's fuckloads of losers out there
Yeah, and I don't wanna be one of those. I'm an immature shit now and it's normal but as soon as I graduate high school that's gonna be a huge negative.
do it faggot have a friend film it and reply to this thread, fucking queer cunt
>>27024241
C-count me in?
>>27024162
NORMIE GET OOOOOOOUT
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEsuck my big neet cock mister robot
>>27024316
Wow, yeah that must have sucked. Not really making me feel better about my life though. How is your life now?
>>27024241
I guess I'm kinda intelligent, at least I'm not dumb. What uni are you going to?
>>27024326
>Yeah, and I don't wanna be one of those
Too late.
you became that man the instant you made this thread.
>>27023575
okeily dokeliy
>>27024368
Well basically the same except i have stuff to eat most of the time, and i live in relatively clean apartment. Also do ton of drugs and have still kind-of satisfying sex with my gf.
Other than that i am sitting at home 24/7 cause where and why would i go? I dont have money to go anywhere and the nights spent sleeping in woods and exploring are behind me it seems.
>>27024350
sure, throwaway or steam/skype or something?
>>27024399
anaustralianone
look into unconventional lifestyles if you'd be unhappy with mediocrity. Live in a van and travel the country doing odd jobs or selling drugs, move to Alaska or Canada and be a mountain man, get yourself decapitated fighting with the rebels in the middle east, whatever. If you truly want to die you might as well live first
>>27024526
FUCK ANON I HATE YOU
This is what i keep telling myself and other people who consider suicide
>U want to off yourself anyway, so why not try to rob a bank or something just to see if you could
Problem is you hit the
>Time to kill self
Mark looooong before you hit the
>I have nothing to lose and can find motivation in that to try extreme measures
>>27024474
Cool man. I always wanted to go to Australia. Seems like a nice place. I'm OP. Maybe you could email me if you wanna be friends? Then we can add steam and stuff. I'm not comfortable posting my info here.
[email protected]
>>27023575
>I'm so immature for my age
What? How can you be self aware and immature. I guess autism has its many forms.
>>27024740
i added you
>>27024654
and i sent you an email
>When I'm 20 and at college I will be expected to behave like an adult
top fuckin' kek m8
>>27024773
nothing?
ok ;-;
