ITT: Pathetic things you do
I am a 30 year old, kissless virgin. I have a decent job and live alone. Sometimes when I go grocery shopping I buy tampons for my non-existent GF, then go to a register with a female cashier.
I do this because I hope the female cashier will look at me and see someone who is worth going out with. I don't even necessarily want to go out with any of these cashiers I just want them to think I have a GF.
I've been doing this for 3 years now.
>>26997212
what the fuck do you do with 3 years' worth of tampons
>>26997212
What do you do with the tampons? Make a shrine? Use them on your loli body pillow? Does it make you feel better pretending to be a good caring parent? Are you projecting?or am I?
Ok OP I have heard of pathetic, but thats just plain sad
>>26997255
>>26997267
I just throw them out when I get home
>>26997318
Why not do something artistic or DIY with them? Think of things you can do with absorbent wads of cotton, right now it's literally a waste of money. It's like taking care of a roastie, but without the roastie
>>26997212
That's one of the most pathetic things I've read on /r9k/ and that's saying something
>>26997212
Dumbass, what if they just think that you're a weirdo who collects tampons or does something REALLY weird with them at home?
If you want them to think you have a GF then you should get your phone out at the cash register and pretend to talk to her while paying/bagging the groceries.
Of course, I don't think your average /r9k/ virgin would be able to come up with a fake yet believable conversation with himself.
>>26997434
Sometimes I've said things like "yeah the wife needs these obviously" while looking embarrassed about it just to make it clear that I'm not some freak who buys tampons for himself.
I mean technically I am but they don't know that.
>>26997212
I'll be your gf if you give me those tampons
How about a boyfriend then?
At least donate the tampons to a woman's shelter OP. :( what a waste.
Tampons make great kindling OP, good thinking. Keep them in your bug out bag along with copious amounts of alcohol and petroleum jelly. It may make you seem like an alcoholic ass player but at least you will be prepared when shtf
>>26997533
This assures them you are indeed some freak buying tampons.
>>26997549
Are you a real girl? I have a feeling you're not.
You should probably consider dying. Its not like youre gonna give anything to society
>>26997212
>I do this because I hope the female cashier will look at me and see someone who is worth going out with. I don't even necessarily want to go out with any of these cashiers I just want them to think I have a GF.
>I've been doing this for 3 years now.
desu they probably think your doing weird butt stuff with them
jesus fucking christ, op.
come on man.
>>26997255
maybe he's this guy
>>26997757
I'm not that guy but I'm just as pathetic
>>26997678
Don't think I haven't thought about that
>>26997212
>ITT: Pathetic things you do
i exist tbhq
>>26997667
Yes but I'm fat, ugly, and I have an occasional lisp
>>26997212
Why would they want to date you if they think you have a gf?
>>26997757
>largest pad collection
O-oh..
>>26997212
Yea man life sure does suckaroo
>>26998024
Like I said it's not even that I want to date them, I just want them to think I have a GF and mean something to someone.
>>26997318
Why don't you just fuck your ass with them? I did that with my moms/sisters and it felt good doing it in the shower
I'm such a fucking pussy that I'm sometimes afraid to post on an anonymous image board and rethink what I'm writing over and over.
>>26998071
This. Anonymous our not, I get afraid of what people think of what I think. That's why I only lurk most of the time.
>>26998056
Damn dude that's a bummer. Find something you're passionate about that gives meaning to your life. That's what I'm trying to do to not feel so lonely and sad, idk if it helps though
>tfw don't even mean much to myself
>tfw whenever i'm happy i remember how shitty my life is then i stop
>>26998071
I would reply with "same here" but I'm so scared and after third or fourth reading it just sounded stupid...
>>26997212
What do you do with the tampons? Donate them to a women's or homeless shelter?
>>26998162
I just throw them out but maybe I'll start doing that instead. It is a huge waste and I feel bad about it but I'm embarrassed to do anything else with them. I mean I want to stop buying them. It's some weird compulsion now. If I do I'll donate them or something.
>>26998222
Trips says do that
You might meet a qt volunteer gf or a qt homeless grill in the process and if not at least you'll still mean something to them :^)
