I've never had a girlfriend. I've always wanted one. It's hard being lonely as fuck. But I keep hearing horrible things about relationships and women in general. It scares and depresses me. And yet, I still have a desire for intimate and sexual female companionship.
Why is that? I don't even hate women but sometimes I wonder if I'm starting to. I don't want to hate all women. Especially since I've met some kind and amazing women throughout my life, both young amd old. My mother being the biggest example. Seriously.
Fuck...
It's normal to want social comfort and sexual desires from someone.
I think when people get confused and frustrated they get really mad at anything.
>>26937847
Yeah but maybe if I despised women and went full MGTOW, maybe I'd be happier never having a girlfriend
This is what the red pill and /r9k/ is doing to me and I fucking hate it
>>26937900
I don't know if /r9k/ is iconically happy. If happiness is the goal it might be better to look for a different role model.
>>26937900
Checked.
And if you hate it then stop dwelling on those ideas.
Most modern women are absolutely not worth spending your time with but most =/= all.
Don't turn to r9k and red pill for advice, lots of really bitter and jaded people here. There are plenty of decent girls out there.
Just strive to improve and be happy with who you are. If you happen to meet a nice girl along the way, it'll be way easier on you.
>>26938064
I can't, man. I've always fantasized about some cute girl that's like my best friend, but female that I kiss and stick my penis inside on occasion. Where we can do stuff together, go places, watch movies, play vidya, adventure, cuddle, all that. And not be afraid to share your weaknesses or be afraid to tell her something is bothering you.
But the more I read the more I think that is a delusion. Most women want the ripped, tall dark triad Chad who doesn't even give a fuck about them for anything other than their looks and their vaginas. And is dominant and unloving and unemotional. Because biology. Fuck.
>>26938164
Women don't REALLY want a Chad who treats them like shit. It just so happens that many men they biologically desire (tall, strong, dominant) have absolute abundance mentality and follow their biological imperative (spread their seed) so they treat them like shit.
What the kind of girl you want to LTR/marry really wants is a dominant (dominant doesn't necessarily mean ass hole) guy who treats her well and fucks her silly. This kind of woman is self-aware enough to not just hop on any Chad's dick and will look past flaws (not tall, not super muscular) if you're a good person.
These women are RARE however.
I have exactly what you described with my gf and it's pretty fantastic.
Also, you can cultivate the kind of personality these good females really want and you don't have to be super stoic all the time. She just wants to be led by a man she respects.
Meh....sex is okay, not great.
I...I think the first time I had sex, it was so mediocre that it turned me into an asexual.
FUCK
I'm very similar to you, OP.
How the fuck can I even get a girlfriend though?
Women want a stoic alpha guy with a good job and masculine traits.
I'm nothing like that and I can't just completely change who I am.
>>26938354
And this is why shit is bad. I don't really have it in me to be dominant (but also have no desire to be submissive) and always be the one to take charge and do everything to keep it steady. I don't think "equal" relationships are possible (someone will have at least slightly more power), but can't I have something that's close?
Do I really have to lead? I'm not a leader at all. I don't care if she leads at all.
>>26938960
I mean I don't have to "lead" friends. When I had them I never had to lead them. And they never "lead" me. We didn't care about leadership amongst ourselves. Why do we have to with girls? Sure we don't want to be submissive and unassertive but we don't want to be entirely dominant.
>>26938960
>>26938987
You have to lead because that's what they want. Women are impulsive and driven by hormones, emotions and feels. As social creatures, they're also more scared of being rejected or looking silly. Even top tier girls are somewhat this way inclined.
As a man, you can be more objective and stoic. You're in a better position to make decisions.
Most of the time, this doesn't mean ordering her around or telling her what to do but she'll prefer if you decide what you're going to do for the day, decide what you're going to eat, initiate sex etc. It's just how it is. That's how she's wired and it's part of what makes her feminine.
I know you don't think you can be these things but you can. It will take some time but you can definitely become more dominant and be better at 'leading' in the context of a relationship.
>>26939121
>What you're going to do for the day
Can do that but would also like to hear her input from time to time
>decide what you're going to eat
Same as above
>initiate sex
This would be a challenge.
>>26939121
>decide what you're going to do for the day
wtf why do you have to plan that shit?
>>26939177
This. I don't have a problem with planning what to do. But do I want to all the time? Fuck no, I wanna have her offer some ideas on occasion
>>26938636
>Women want a stoic alpha guy with a good job and masculine traits.
>>>26938354
>Women want to be led
Goddamn this fucked up game.
>>26939154
>>26939177
>>26939195
You don't have to do it ALL the time. Of course she'll sometimes have input. A captain/first mate dynamic doesn't mean you tell her what to do in every situation.
But just in general, girls want you to decide shit for them. They love the idea of their guy knowing what he wants and they just tag along for the ride.
They're submissive.
>>26939269
Well...
is there such a thing as a girl who is neither submissive nor dominant?
>>26939300
Of course. Just like there's very submissive men, there's neutral and dominant women. They're just a minority.
By not learning how to handle somewhat submissive girls (I wouldn't want an extremely submissive girl tbqhwyf), you're turning an already small population of LTR-viable girls into an even smaller one.
>>26939420
I've learned that I hate submissive girls
Yet I love shy and awkward girls
Oh well time to become Chad and start hitting the gym
Can't get a girl while overweight. Not even slightly, even when you don't look bad in a shirt and light jacket
Well at least a cute girl. Maybe an ugly girl would be possible at my current state
But I don't like fat or ugly girls despite being a bit chubby myself
Which makes me a hypocritical asshole
I wouldn't mind dominating a woman in bed if I ever have sex but being dominant in everyday life just sounds fucking draining. Oh well, I'll probably die a KV so it doesn't matter.
>>26939513
Shy and awkward are indicators of submissiveness.
And yes, you definitely need to lift. The benefits of lifting are many, just one of which is being much more attractive to women.
Your biology is telling you to want attractive girls just like their biology is telling them them to want attractive guys. Just about all humans are varying degrees of shallow.
>>26939615
I don't want to be dominated in a relationship
But I also don't want to dominate
I just wanna be chill and shit
>>26939649
You can be chill and shit but still dominant.
The idea of 'dominant' you have in your head isn't what an ideal captain/first mate relationship looks like.
>>26939649
Yeah I know what you mean. I don't like people telling me what to do or feeling like I'm not in control, and at the same time I don't really like the idea of controlling someone else. It can get pretty toxic from what I've seen.
>>26939781
>captain/first mate
whatever happened to just being cool
why do relationships have to be like fucking ship terms
i don't expect this out of friends or family
i literally only expect this from bosses
fuck it I'm killing myself
I'm pretty sure the longing for a girlfriend has fucked my head up. I'll see a girl in public and I'll instantly fall head over heels. I look her up and I'll learn her quirks and who she is as a person and create stupid little scenarios in my head for weeks. It'll be nothing but thinking about her and her image in my head usually guides me to do this and that with my life. I'll make her say I love you in my head and it'll feel like I'm actually wanted by somebody for the rest of the day. I'll just get this surge of happiness that nothing can compare to. It's pretty fucked up, I've been doing this for years. I'm scared once I find an actual girlfriend I'll come off as stalkerish.
>>26939987
Because there can only be one captain on deck. Somebody has to be calling the shots. It's true with everyone, just more subtle in some partnerships than others. Since you're on the fence about it, you probably won't be the one in the driver's seat. That's OK, but you should figure this out early in a relationship, which one you need to be to make things work the best.
>>26940160
love is truly a lie
take the red pill or die
>>26940184
It's not only about matters of love. It's the nature of our social structure. Every group has a leader, and you can't put two people in a room without one trying to govern the other. We evolved from apes, and among them there is pecking order, just like with humans. Find your place in that order, and you will do just fine.
I've never had a boyfriend. I've always wanted one. It's hard being lonely as fuck. But I keep hearing horrible things about relationships and men in general. It scares and depresses me. And yet, I still have a desire for intimate and sexual male companionship.
Why is that? I don't even hate men but sometimes I wonder if I'm starting to. I don't want to hate all men. Especially since I've met some kind and amazing men throughout my life, both young amd old. My father being the biggest example. Seriously.
I'm about to break up with my girlfriend. I love her so much but I can't be in a relationship.
I need to be free and work on me and my dreams
also memes
>>26940058
>I do the exact same thing
How old are you? I'm only 19, so I want to know how comparatively far gone I am.
>>26941452
No guy is ever going to live up to the idealization you have of your father. You should hook up with somebody, but don't expect too much. Your first relationship is probably going to be less than stellar. Still, you're a woman so you shouldn't have to try to hard. Why don't you have a boyfriend yet?
I just want a dom gf.
>>26941452
>literally coping the OP and replacing the words to try to prove the bullshit "women can be lonely meme"
get the fuck off my board you fucking harpy
