when did you first start having suicidal thoughts
I was in 6th grade special ed
I was in 4th grade. I vaguely remember being frustrated at a school assignment or something.
But I kept visualizing myself next to an empty road by a forest, cutting my own head off with an axe. I was so innocent back then.
>>26888035
wow your handwriting is shit
you really should kill yourself
>>26888035
That's rough. I never revealed my desire to anyone, to this day. Why were you so sad?
4th grade. My teacher asked us what we wanted to be when we grow up and I said I wanted to be dead.
>>26888153
because Im autistic and was in special ed
I had and have zero friends and have been bullied constantly by people
one time these people who I thought were friends stole my backpack and threw it off this cliff and then threw rocks at me when i went to get it
>>26888035
>6th grade
>Suicidal thoughts
What the fuck man...
Anyways I was 15
When I was in 7th grade I thought of killing myself during my math class with my pocketknife
>>26888236
Bullies are the worst.
>>26888213
>>26888423
What the hell man... (serious voice)
>>26888035
It was around the same age as you. I was being bullied and isolated constantly, I did manage to have a friend but he was pretty shitty to me sometimes.
>tfw you started having suicidal thoughts around age 11
>tfw you've never stopped having them
>>26888449
I was bullied a lot in this period, some pretty fucked up shit happened and I really did consider taking my school with me at one point
>>26888481
>>26888492
what the FUCKING hell man at 11 you're still a child, a child thinking of killing himself??
what the fucking HELL man?
Maybe not suicidal, but my first screen name on the internet was something like I_hate_myself
>>26888523
Life's shitty man, that's just the way it is.
>5th Grade
Three local high schoolers ended their lives in a suicide pact and I began to wish I had been part of that suicide pact so my life could be over and I wouldn't have to experience my parents fighting and being separated on and off anymore.
I told a friend that I thought I might hang myself with my belt, and he told a teacher.
Been on medication for bipolar depressive disorder ever since (20 currently).
My depression set in when I was only 12. I've had suicidal thoughts at least every day since then, but it's starting to get less frequent the past year or so. Who knows how long that'll last.
2010 when my dad died is when I remember it distinctly
It comforted me to know that no matter how shit things get I had a way out
Sometimes I imagine how many people would turn up to my funeral, how people would react to my death etc
I tried to choke myself and die when I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade. Childhood was so bad :(((((
>>26888523
i just matured faster
>>26888553
Ok I was bullied a lot too as a child but I never thought of killing myself... maybe because I was Christian, but sitll it seems pretty absurd to me
>>26888523
This is what this society breeds.Giving minorities the advantage and fucking over the better white race.
When I was around 14 I prayed to God to make me a professional BMX rider but when my mother began threatening to commit suicide almost everyday I prayed instead that he make me feel the sadness my mother was feeling instead of her and I guess it worked.
When I was 10 or 9 my cousin tried to walk into traffic as a tantrum/suicide attempt.
I was very depressed at the time and it was the first time I thought about doing the same.
All in all I wish I never existed more than I wish I was dead, dying now I still would've been alive and that bothers me.
>>26888523
It's really not that unbelievable a lot of kids can get like that, look at the ipod suicide on ED that kid was a pre-teen.
>>26888580
>not wanting to kill yourself after you find out that catholics say 13 is the age of spiritual responsibility
pleb-tier
>>26888523
I tried hanging myself at twelve. I can't even remember a time in which I didn't have suicidal thoughts.
>>26888574
what the hellll man you're all shitting man what the FUCK
I remember when I was 16 my English teacher (I'm Italian and live in Italy) asked us if we ever thought of killing ourselves because she assigned us a theme about suicide and of course everyone shouted "no, why would I?" (they were msotly girls)
I said nothing and thought how absurd and fucked up it was that I wanted to kill myself since I was 15, but the fuck, 11? fucking 8 year olds too?
14. Life was dead to me. Tried again twice when I was 16.
>>26888035
I can't remember why but when I was in 1st grade I sat under a table crying and kept muttering that I wanted to kill myself and I didn't want to live anymore. Really freaked the teacher out so I was sent to a psychologist once a week for a while, it didn't really do anything for me though
>>26888609
>not wanting to kill yourself after you find out that catholics say 13 is the age of spiritual responsibility
the fuck?
>>26888667
the fucking hell...
>>26888035
2nd grade
my parents took me to a doctor because I couldn't make friends
they diagnosed me with ADHD and gave me depressants even though I didn't actually have ADHD
so at 6 years old I was having an existential crisis, having suicidal thoughts, and crying about not knowing what happens when you die
I remember wanting to jump off my roof so that I landed on my head when I was in 5th grade, constantly thought about suicide since
>>26888698
THE FUCK MAN? THE FUCK?
A FUCKING 6 YEAR OLD WANTING TO END HIS LIFE, THE FUCKING HEEEEELL
>>26888712
No, no, NOOOOOO!
This cannot, I say CANNOT be true, you're all shitting me I know it, the joke was good but c'mon guys it's not believable.
>>26888723
Can you stop? Being a faggot I mean.
>>26888759
No, this is too sad to be true, it can't be real
>>26888035
When I was really young I think I realized there was something irregular about myself comparison to others.
It was either 6th grade or 7th that I realistically saw suicide as an option for my future
Poor bastard
>>26888723
My (would have been) cousin strangled himself in the womb with his cord.
>>26888707
>the fuck?
You've never heard the discussion 'do kids go to hell?' in church? I remember hearing catholics don't believe kids under 13 go to hell and I instantly thought of killing myself because I was so miserable.
>>26888723
Yeah I was a pretty weird kid, couldn't really make friends at that age and didn't really like being around people. I was probably just doing it for attention or some shit (I honestly can't remember) but needless to say it branded me as a psycho by my peers
>>26888806
... no this isn't true
>>26888609
>All in all I wish I never existed more than I wish I was dead, dying now I still would've been alive and that bothers me.
You fucking understand
>>26888667
I never got to hanging but I remember trying to choke myself with some wire when I was around that age.
>>26888784
You must have a pretty happy existence, being able to deny the sadness of this world. I would kill to be like you.
>>26888756
One of the ways they sometimes find molested kids is when they start writing about how they want to die in class.
http://www.education.com/reference/article/suicide-risk-children/
>>26888844
>You fucking understand
It's an aggravating thought, I'll always feel permanent.
>>26888897
No I mean I became really depressed when i was 15 because I couldn't make any friends, then came to the conlusion that life was meaningless, etc...
But when I was an actual child life was fun (for the most part) I got my dose of bullying since elemntary school where I was ostracized by most kids in the new school because Is ucked at sports, and got sad about it, but of course not to the point of suicide or becoming nihilistic.
Summer of fifth grade.
They went away for a few years. Now they're back.
>>26888997
Also when i confessed to my parents that I was suicidal for most of school my father was astonished and said that the thought of suicide never crossed his mind in his whole life
>>26889035
*Sorry I meant for most of highschool
>>26888035
Funny. In special ED in my country we just did the material as fast as we could. I did it super quick and skipped a grade because they couldn't keep me back.
Then i started in normie classes and lost all that. My kids will go through school doing their work and doing more work once finished. No waiting for retarded football team chads to finish theirs before starting again.
>>26889086
Perhaps Special Ed means something else in your country. Here in America it means the stupid kids.
>>26888035
6th grade too. I lost all my friends that year and realized I would never be normal.
>>26888365
>>26888449
>>26888523
>>26888580
>>26888677
>>26888707
>>26888723
>>26888756
>>26888784
>>26888843
can you chill out dude
this is real life, this is it
>tfw every single day since 7th grade
>tfw that was 7 years ago
>>26888035
also 6th grade weird...
>>26889335
thought about it for as long as i can remember at least from 6 y/o because of shitty mom
but from 7th grade it was every day but never got the courage to this day to actually do it
>>26889345
its a club
I wanna say 15 or 16? It peaked at 17 when I got really suicidal and I've just been riding it out since then(almost 20 now). I got into weed and LSD and now I just feel warped rather than depressed. The thoughts come and go and sometimes my mood is just downright awful. I honestly think I'm gonna go crazy in the next few years even though I stopped smoking/tripping.
Are schizophrenics depressed?
>>26889792
>Are schizophrenics depressed?
Absolutely. It's one the biggest symptoms.
>>26889792
yes they are its common as fuck
>>26888035
i did the same shit and my parents yelled at me and beat me. I think it really fucked me up in the long run
When I was 9. It was like a switch flipped and I realized "Hey, wait a minute! Life is pretty shit!"
At this point, I really don't know if I'm still depressed or if depression is just a part of my personality. Kinda fucks up your formative years, you know?
.
>>26888035
I first started having sucidal thoughts in year 11
Which is strange because year 11 was probably the best/easiest year of highschool. I was bullied and treated like garbage from Grade 1 to Year 9 but it was year 11 when i started thinking like this.
16 I my family moved away so I lost all of my friends and my place at school became a shut in for 4 years. Slowly getting it back together tho. Guess their could be hope?
>>26888213
Funny. In the fourth grade when Adult Film Star James Dean was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, he said a porn star.
Strange how some people realize their goals and others don't...kek.
>>26888035
>when is it best to use a double bar graph instead of a single bar graph
>when your stupid
>>26888954
> Unlike in the adult population, both suicidal attempts and completed suicides are more common among boys than among girls.
So, exactly like in the adult population?
>>26891010
Attempts are more common for girls in the adult population, for kids boys attempt more AND succeed more instead of just succeeding more.
>>26888035
8th grade desu. 2 years after you. 7 years later and I still have them daily
>>26888035
One of the times I lost all my friends
I can't remember which time because it happened quite often but I know I was still in elementary school
>>26891051
You mean "attempts".
I'm not sure you can call a "suicide attempt" something that was never intended to actually succeed. Surely a call for attention, at most.
They didn't really manifest until early high school/9th grade. Slow increasing pessimism, cynicism, and social isolation. Then it became a preeminent background thought and lingered since though out college. Was always too much of a pussy to go through with it though. Nearly did midcollege when I dropped out a semester and broke off contact from most everyone. Eventually returned, but the thoughts still remain, if only dampened.
Increasing isolation or worries about growing old and being a burden are the only things that would result in suicide at this point.
I was 10 years old. I remember being really stressed out about some dumb assignment at school and wanting to die. I even diagnosed myself with depression.I still think about killing myself
Kindergarten if not even before then but I can say with certainty Kindergarten I remember suicidal thoughts.
This fucking thread man. I just want to give you all a hug.
Started in 7th grade and stopped around freshman year, but came back junior and it hasn't went away since. Probably going to go through with it after I lose my job soon. Hopefully a belt isn't painful because I can't get a gun.
>>26892003
Don't touch me, it fucking drives me up the wall when people touch me.
For those of you with manic bipolar disorder It does not get better with time. It gets worse and I hate how I can see it happening in hindsight but the present seems like everything is okay. I want off this ride.
>>26892546
the ride never ends ever
>>26892546
Do you take any medication?
>>26892546
I hate to agree with you but it's been 6 years now. I just hate so much how I feel normal for so long and it feels like everything must have been faked and I must have been sad for attention or something but god fucking damn it always comes back and hits me harder than before.
>>26892914
not anymore, I took it in middleschool and it turned me into a zombie. Im usually happy on the manic highs so thats better than depression I guess.>>26892956
I feel for you brother. try doing little things for yourself. tomorrow Im starting a garden and going to the park. then Ill put on my "mask" and go to work like everything is okay.
