>tfw there isn't a suicide method where you won't regret it immediately after or inconvenience others
and I don't have a gun
What about hanging yourself?
>>26868476
You'll traumatize the person who finds you and it'll take you minutes to die unless you manage to break your neck.
>>26868240
Don't do it anon. Take it from me as someone who's tried. Go talk to someone. Suicide hotline is for teenage girls. Start lifting weights.
Eventually you'll figure things out if you confide in someone. I know it's a normie platitude, but things do get better.
Why do you want to die, anyways?
>>26868240
Shoot yourself behind a hospital and let them harvest your organs. You die helping far more people than you hurt.
>>26868976
>You'll traumatize the person who finds you
Who cares? you'll be dead anyway.
>>26868240
Helium is the most peaceful way to commit suicide OP.
Go to a party store and ask for a tank of helium AND a bunch of balloons.
Then go buy a non rebreather mask on Amazon.
Buy some hoses to connect the tank to the mask and you're ready to go.
You'll slowly fall asleep and die.
If you regret it just take off the mask, even if you feel sleepy you won't die because the oxygen will quickly overpower the helium
You know somebody wont do it when they start to think of other people.
Your a bitch op. I'd say kill yourself but you aren't capable of it.
>>26868240
> snort the insides of a smoke detector
> get lymphoma
> no one will know it was suicide
>>26869058
Make sure you leave the window open if you think you'll regret.
>where you won't regret it immediately after
If you're feeling anything afterwards I would say it's not a very good method.
Go somewhere isolated with no food and shit. Wait a few days and there you have.
>>26869116
Starving is one of the worst ways to die, and it goes on for weeks.
>>26868976
stop being a fucking pussy
just fucking do it or don't. stop complaining about it
Get a gun, shoot gang members,and wear gang colors. You'll do this world a service by getting rid of the scum.
Burn yourself.
>>26868240
i sliced my leg open 3 weeks ago in an attempt to kill myself but i missed any type of vein so i didnt bleed out immediately and ended up going to the hospital. i still cant walk and the only thing i regret is not being able to successfully fucking kill myself
>>26869143
>Starving
You die of thirst first you dumb fuck.
>>26869143
dehydration only takes days!
>>26869234
Why would you go to the hospital if you wanted to kill yourself? You could've just kept hacking and whacking.
>>26869058
>yfw helium is diluted with oxygen to prevent this
I'm scared of pain and death but wanna kill myself. What do.
>>26869234
Cut the insight of your thigh, around where your balls touch.
>>26868240
>where you won't regret it immediately after
The best part about suicide is this won't happen
I feel as if things are falling apart within me, like so many glass partitions shattering. I walk from place to place in the grip of a fury, needing to act, yet can do nothing about it because any attempt seems doomed in advance. Failure, everywhere failure. Only suicide hovers above me, gleaming and inaccessible.
>>26869234
>want to kill self
>cut an appendage with no vital organs
>goes to hospital anyway
>>26869339
>start cutting
>pussy out because pain
>now you have a bloody mess and gross scars
gr8 idea m8
>>26869329
Get a local farmer to put you down. Bolt pistols are quick and painless.
>>26868240
car in garage
close garage door
turn car on
go to sleep
die peacefully
>>26869234
>not cutting your neck
that's my plan if I ever act on it
Grief is temporary. Nobody will give a shit. My Uncle killed himself a year and a half ago and literally nobody cares anymore. Nobody even put flowers on his grave over the holidays.The "you hurt everybody but yourself" is just a meme.
>>26869438
Get a diesel power generator running in the passenger seat to speed the whole process along.
There's always jumping
You'll only regret it for a few seconds and you can't back out.
Although you can fuck up and end up a veggie/cripple, the pros outweigh the cons
>captcha select skyscrapers
wew
>>26869496
>or inconvenience others
cleaning up his fucking guts off the side walk is a big inconvenience imo
>>26869469
Kinda wrong there. If you have kids and shit you hurt them quite badly. My dad killed himself 18 years ago, and my mom still goes crazy to this day when she remembers it. What I mentioned, of course, is not our case so we can just proceed to end our shitty lives.
>>26869529
It's just a splat, who gives a shit
Happens all the time, plus they get paid to clean it up
>>26869022
>just lift bro
shut the fuck up /fit/, lifting won't cure everything. Just look at how many mentally fucked up fags post on /fit/
>>26869496
Veggie wouldn't be so bad. My shrink was confused when I asked for a lobotomy.
Or maybe chemical castration if it made you exactly the way you are, only with zero desire for female attention.
>>26869085
Yeah but then you'll slowly and painfully die and then you're gonna hella regret it. Imagine getting aggressive cancer only to find out that it wasn't worth it.
>>26869234
obviously if you failed you didn't want it enough
>>26869022
>he fell for the /fit/ meme
>>26869295
im not butcher pete...that shit hurt like fuck
>>26869588
I love it when psychiatrists are confused by this shit. Normies are so stupid.
>>26868240
Exit helium bags.
if I get dubs OP has to off himself tonight
>>26869413
this.
got like 30 staples and 11 stitches. if i do it again, i definitely will not pussy out
>>26869734
Cuts are stupid. Use nitrogen or carbon monoxide.
>>26869734
fuckin nasty m8
>>26869496
fuck that. those seconds while you're falling and completely regretting it sound fucking appalling, rather just blow my head off with a shotgun
>>26869609
How much would lymphoma hurt but? Wouldn't it just feel like a nasty flu for a couple of months and then one day you just collapse?
>>26869791
Severe flu that lasts months sounds pretty bad to me
>>26869784
Just think of it like jumping into god's arms anonny, everything's scary the first time you try
>>26869768
>carbon monoxide
Ffs no. Its extremely painful and slow enough to make you regret before you die. Nitrogen should be fine, however.
>>26869609
> find out that it wasn't worth it.
Everybody dies anon. Are you going to be sick in bed with cancer and have your epiphany that life is actually awesome and regret your choice?
If there's a possibility that you could ever feel that way, why are you in a suicide thread?
>>26869863
People die painlessly on their sleep of CO all the time. You can die comfy in your car jamming out to the radio and toasty warm from the heater. Sounds good to me.
>>26868240
Start exercising, eating right, get a job, get a girlfriend, get married, have kids, get divorced, hookup on tinder for a while, get a milf girlfriend, decide she's too old, move to bangkok, buy young thai girl, retire on beach
And when google life extension comes out, don't check the "save me" box.
Guaranteed dead in at most 80 years.
Inject yourself with 1.5 grams of heroin (you can buy it online even). You literally just go to sleep and wake up -- no pain, no disgusting mess left behind, its just you in the prime of your youth with your eyes closed in eternal rest.
>>26869295
i called my mom because i figured she'd be the last voice id want to hear as i bled out. then she started spitting all this inspirational bullshit at me out of nowhere and i broke down and told her what i had done. then she threatened to call an amberlamps for me if i didnt take myself to the hospital.
when i got back home i realized that my life was about to become a whole lot shittier because of this hospital bill (i dont have insurrance). stupid, i know.
>>26869872
Hey dipshit, there'a a lot of people in this thread that didn't go through with it and regretted it even when the perfect opportunity stared them in the face. Are you telling me you wouldn't have an ounce of regret by getting cancer to suicide?
>>26870049
>be American
>try to kill myself
>my 5 guns are in the shop
>use a knife like a dirty Britbong, but call my mum
>she gives a good speech, so I have to tip her
>go to my shitty hospital, tip the door man
>5 hour wait
>get patched up, tip the doctors
>drive home
>10,000$ bill
>tip the mailman
>>26869663
>lifting to feel better is just a meme
Then I assume that pic you posted is a selfie?
>>26869234
lmao, you are pussy nigger , look yeah ,i am intrested in your kind ,the kind that likes to kill itself , and talks about killing itself ,cause like` so deep` ,`so sad life` , `such a sad story` , `Life's against you shit` , you kno what i mean ? yeah that stuff , soooo, like , if you really tryed to kill yo self , damn son , like , pussy whore ,wtf is wrong with you , splitting up fucking veins in your damn leg , like , what in the actual fuck , would cause oyu to fucking split your fucking leg in fucking half , holy shit ...look yeah , like , man ,you gotta take that life ,and kick it in the nuts ,rape your lil cousin or something or kill all the christians , or curse prophet muhammed in fronth of , allah horny niggers , there's a lot to do in this life you fucking misserable whore , baka
>>26870551
FBI just fucking get out of here, go
>>26870652
Nigger , wtf you on about , in telling , go praise allah or someshit , baka
>>26870551
I can literally not read what you type, anon.
Well done, you made the bait too complex.
>>26870551
- James Joyce
>>26868240
If you're concerned about inconveniencing others, you're not ready to kill yourself.
Think about it this way - there's no way to live without inconveniencing others either.
>>26869022
>you'll figure things out if you confide in someone
>trusting another human being
>>26871402
there's a difference between that and PTSD tho
