Some people fuck their lives up with alcohol. Others with drugs.
Some by fucking around like a communal sex toy.
Me? I've wasted my last 22 years by trying to be the best I can. I've been in post-secondary school for over 5 years, and every new week makes me question what I'm doing more.
Today one of my colleagues and who I thought was one of my only friends blew up at me for forgetting one minor detail.
The worst part is he's right. I am a fuck up. I can't even take this stress now, how will I ever make a career out of my life?
5 years of school wasted.
22 years of life wasted.
And for what? Nothing.
As soon as everyone else is asleep, I'm going down stairs to hang myself. I bought a fresh parachute cord on the way back from from class.
I'm trapped within myself. I'm feel like a silent observer to a movie that get worse every second. I want to look away, but I can't. I have to rip myself away.
I see people around me, able to share themselves with each other. They aren't tiny islands in a void. They feel each other and connect to each other.
After every prolonged interaction with another human being I feel more isolated than before. There is no one like me and that terrifies me. Am I the only one who's real? Or is everyone else real but me?
I don't belong here. I don't belong in this world. I am a glitch.
Perhaps when I was still being formed there was a place for me. A path, a plan even. Perhaps my life was charted along a reasonable path. Not necessarily a perfect path, or a path to greatness, but a reasonable path. For a long time now, I feel as though something went wrong. Like my life's path is gravely out of it's place. I don't live a shitty experience by any means. I live in a developed nation and in a position even my ancestors would envy. I don't doubt that I've been blessed to be born in the status I am born into.
Experience isn't existence. I life a good experience, but I inhabit a miserable existence. Who's fault is that?
Those around me? God? Me? It doesn't matter, it is what it is. Regardless of why, somewhere along the way, something came undone. That's the only explanation I have.
Maybe I became too self-aware. I'm trapped in my mind, analyzing and dissecting every move I make. I agonize hours and hours over the tiniest things. I am fixated in a past I will never make right, while I shy away from a future I fear to my very core. All this happens in a present I don't want or feel I belong in.
I want out. I need out.
Nothing holds me back now except guilt and the desire to maintain false act for those around me. There's so much of it now that the walls I've built are crumbling, entombing me in the process. Something's gotta give. No, something's already given. The end is close.
Soon I won't need to worry about what-ifs and mistakes. Good-bye everyone. May you find the true path before you lose it- forever.Needless suicide note continues
And so, another dim star snuffs out, alone in the cold expanse of space. No one notices. They don't need to. The night sky is bright and dazzling enough without it.
I'm in the exact same situation, and I envy your willingness to go through with it. You're not alone, OP. I wish we could all get together and figure something out.
Good luck, OP. I hope you don't regret in the last moments of your life. That would suck.
>>26708955
Welp. Bye. Hopefully there's some sort of
afterlife for you. Maybe life will pay you for its injustices to you. Or, more likely, your consciousness will vanish into nothingness. No pain. No laughter. No suffering. No love. No hatred. No fun. Just a lack of anything.
Watch some funny shit before you die though. End it all with a smile on your face. Maybe some YouTube Poops or comedy sketches?
..
Damn this thread is edgy.
>>26708955
see you tomorrow. you'll puss out because you're a failure. you admitted it yourself, right?
>>26708955
>>26708986
bravo, OP. i'm gonna keep this around as an example of how to write a good suicide note.
so long space robot
>>26708955
then just do it right now you fucking pussy
>>26708955
haha jesus christ you're killing yourself because you're bad at the worst possible thing to be good at (academia). t b h if you can't take a step back and realize how stupid that is you probably should waste yourself you fuckin nerd
alternatively drop out and start living actual life instead of voluntarily staying in the dumb gay prison that is the modern educational system
OP, can you answer me this one simple question:
Why do homeless hobos choose to go on living instead of killing themselves?
>>26708955
I care about you OP. Please talk to me, don't do this.
Freedom awaits you. Godspeed.
>>26709381
Not OP, but I know, right?
Why would you even?
Death to the robot.
>>26708986
You are the an hero your country needs.
Go with grace, brobot.
jesus christ, nigger. don't kill yourself. try to change a few things about your life.
it sounds like this is all highly situational. and you also have a lot of classic cognitive distortions going on.
>>26708955
Dubs say you don't do it and instead go home and rethink your life.
DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT
DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT DONT DO IT YOU FAGGOT
>>26708955
Honestly you're too young to commit suicide you still have at least 60 years to live and you don't know what's going to happen. It's likely that later in your life you won't see him again, forever and that you won't even remember him or this moment. But hey, it's your life. Sad to see you go so young and so dumb to commit suicide, but I guess I'll see you on the other side.
Don't do it anon. Things may seem hard now but things do get better. You have people that love you and would be willing to help you, reach out for help. One day you'll look back and be grateful you didn't go through with it. Please reconsider, people care for you and are here for you.
Join the military with me, anon.
Only through fire can we be turned into diamonds, senpai.
Hang in there, baby.
>>26708955
You're going to feel depressed for a time in your late teens/20's. You're going to struggle with desires and emotions that are at their peak strength.
When you're young, life seems so short. The years between 25 and 65 add up to seem like only 5-10 years, not the 40 they really are. You feel like things won't change, or that you'll never find the energy, time, or money to turn it all around. But you can, and you will.
Life never gets easier, in fact it stays the same. You work smart and work hard and you climb one step up the ladder, but if you slack off you may sink. Sinking takes longer than climbing, but don't go digging a hole.
Stay away from unsecured long term debt. It's difficult, and you may not have the latest and greatest, but you will feel less stress and be happier. Money its self isn't happiness, but having secure resources is.
If you want to get laid, seriously commit to it. Get fit, groom, be your own person and trust me, there is a lady out there who will find you attractive and want your dick. Don't expect you'll make a long lasting relationship before you're 28. Hormones, emotions, and general poor decision making are against you. Just keep things open and simple, be happy if you have it, be happy if you're after it, don't worry it's over because there's opportunities for more.
Goodbye, I'm sorry our home has become infested with normies, but I wish you peace, I hope you try to drop hang though, otherwise it might be pretty painful
>>26710486
top-kek
>>26708986
>that last part
too close
OP, godspeed, I honestly don't know what to say.
I remember that fat gamer guy on YouTube made a statement about suicide. He said that if you're not atleast half the age of the average man you probably haven't lived enough to hear the funniest joke, watched the best movie, etc. That's all I have to live for? To hear a joke? My life is a joke, if it was a movie, it would be a sad chuck flick, with no happy ending.
I envy you OP.
>>26708955
i hanged myself on december 29th and was found and brought back from the brink by paramedics and my father. I was sectioned under section 2 of the mental health act, meaning I was confined to a psychiatric hospital for 28 days, I am 19 and am only just being diagnosed with some form of autism after years of depression and anxiety and the meds to go with. Its now been nearly 3 months since i hanged myself and I'm only just starting to get my life stable.
I wont tell you not to do it because the decision is yours to make, but if you choose to go through with it, make sure youre thorough cause being brought back to life is by far the most harrowing experience I've ever had.
Good luck in whatever you do anon
Peace
>>26708955
What state are you in, man? If I'm close, I'll come out and we'll have a beer or something.
>>26708986
I will use this in my suicide note anon, its beautiful. May we meet sometime, somewhere, out of this painful existence
>>26710669
>retarded normie giving retarded advice
remember the times we had
So long space robot. I'll be joining you soon, in the great void.
>>26708955
>As soon as everyone else is asleep, I'm going down stairs to hang myself.
Is this a college dorm?
"Everyone" is never asleep, there's always some drunk fuck wandering in or out at 3 a.m.
Don't say I didn't warn ya'.
>>26710833
What was it like? Were you dead? Did you see anything?
This sounds cool, Anon. Greentext it?You could write a book about it too.
>>26709512
this.
imagine a place you wanna go to and just do it.
just like taking a pill. drinking water or even taking a piss.
your afterlife = your dreams/imagination
life is just a memory.
>>26710694
or drink 177 cherries.
>>26708955
OP still here?
OP you should livestream for your bros.
>>26712319
yeah
your lifes desires and dreams shapes your heaven..
Enjoy endless everything with your soulmate and friends and family you may or may not have ever had.
>>26712398
if it has been over 30minutes, op is gone.
>>26712404
that is why i live for scenery until it is my time to go.
ever just looked at the sky and just wanted to go?
>>26712404
Hopefully he doesn't hang in his dorm room, that's too public and pretty painful. I don't want op's last moments be in pain, nor do I want people "saving" him
>>26708986
>No one notices. They don't need to. The night sky is bright and dazzling enough without it.
>I don't belong here. I don't belong in this world. I am a glitch.
I can relate. Go in peace, anon.
>>26709369
Telling a guy who's planning to kill himself, to kill himself. Good on ya bud, you should be proud of yourself.
>>26710426
>Don't do it anon. Things may seem hard now but things do get better. You have people that love you and would be willing to help you, reach out for help. One day you'll look back and be grateful you didn't go through with it. Please reconsider, people care for you and are here for you.
Can the fucking cliche suicide advice. You're not helping anything.
took a picture for OP.
it is raining.
song to with picture; https://youtu.be/DgDpFMXmavU?t=17m52s
>>26708955
>22
literally a baby, still a fucking child
>>26712627
>Your feelings are not real because people older than you exist
Why do people say this shit
>>26708955
Whatever happens or whatever you do, I hope you'll find peace.
Can someone cap this nice and pretty like? I'm on my phone
>>26708955
See you on the other side, anon. I salute you.
>>26710669
See you dont fucking get it you stupid ass normie. In life there are certain things you can only experence at a certain age. Once thats gone if youve missed that boat then you will never have a chance at that again. Those 40 years will be surrounded by regret and anger for all the oppertunities that you watched everyone have and that never came your way. No one fucking fantasizes about being 40, or 60, and you know why? Because there is fucking nothing interesting about it. 15-21 is prime life, and like almost every robot on this board we have missed ouy on it. Missed out on the best years of our life, the times we can look back fondly on when things get tough. Instead we get look back on bullshit when we have to deal with current bullshit. Its a never ending cycle, so why dont you do this whole board a favor and fuck off.
>>26712890
Why? So you can post it on leddit for the karma? These are the man's last hours, and he spent his last words on an absolutely beautiful letter to the only community that cared about him. He spent the last of his depleting energy pouring his broken soul out to us. The least you can do is respect that by keeping his final message where he wanted it to go.
>>26708986
Do something cool you glorious bastard. If you don't care anyway then go for the high score or suicide bomb Monsantos or something. Have the courage to do the things I care too much to do.
See you, OP. May you return as a Buddha
>>26713057
No so I can read it to myself every night why the hell would I post it on reddit? If you or nobody else wants to its not the end of the world I'll just have it split into 3-4 pics instead of a neatly organized one pic
>>26710833
so what actually changed.why dont you want to kill yourself anymore
>>26708986
Fuck that last quote is incredible is my man.
With the amount of depressed people on this board I'll believe this is legit, but I will say you don't need to live for all these people. You don't need to live and be great for all these people, you just need to be good enough for yourself. Hell maybe you're right and you aren't good enough for yourself. I won't give you shitty normie advice or anything, and honestly I don't even know what I'm trying to say or why I'm even saying it. Maybe things will get better maybe they'll get worse, but I hope the best for you my man.
Suffering isn't a contest either, you can have it pretty damn bad even if your ancestors had it worse.
>>26713305
Also I want to add that if you're really gonna do this, I hope there's something better for you after this.
Love you anon. I know how hard it is to be happy. The one thing I can say is there is a slight chance something will get better. No, we won't become chads or mega rich. But we might someday find a thing were good at, make a few friends... or if nothing else, virtual reality might save us.
Depression and suicidal feelings are 99% brain imbalances.
I got over it, don't ask me how, i just got lucky that aging stabilized my brain.
I'm not saying that life is worth it, even with no depression i think it isn't, but you can have joy.
You don't have to drown in the despair. Also, if you're gonna an hero, don't hang, that's awful and painful.
>>26708955
YOU CAN'T FUCKING KILL AT 22, YOU'RE ON THE LAUNCH PAD FOR THE REST OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE, YOU DUMB NIGGER.
>>26708955
OP, I want to say don't do it but ultamitely the choice is yours. I'd like to point out however that you should think long and hard before you make this descision because if you go through with it, it will be the last descision you ever make. I understand you feel alone, and honestly I don't know you're life story, so maybe you've been alone you're entire life and just want it to end. People on here are probably going to call me a faggot for doing this but I'll put you're situation into an analogy. You are a man cast away at sea on a raft, you see nothing but emptiness and you are confused, scared that you won't be able to survive and go home to enjoy life like it was meant to be. Sometimes at night, you see a cruise ship sail by, full of bright lights and you can hear music and cheering so faintly, just as you observe the cruise ship pass by with its passengers having the time of their life you observe your fellow man being able to interact with one another and enjoy life. You want desperately for the cruise ship to rescue you, you want to be part of that, but they will never pic you up if you don't call out for help, and you will drift away and die at sea.
Anyway, who knows, maybe you already tried getting help or made an effort at social interaction? But if you haven't, please try, no one says that socializing and being happy was easy but it is possible. Anyway, whatever you choose I wish you luck in your endeavors and may God have mercy on your soul.
I love how this thread is still alive, op's last words were beautiful, and should be remembered by this board
>>26713503
I feel like when you reach your 20s then you're psychologically locked, so to say. From what little I learned from school that's the age when you can't really develop new traits and such. Your general likes and dislikes are locked, ability to feel certain things are locked. Maybe even your maximum potiental as well. I have no idea on the legitimacy of what I'm saying, but I think that after the 20s, you have to make do with what you've built up psychologically. Social skills, self esteem limits, ability to feel, ability to be passionate about things, all that jazz. So if you don't see a bright future when you're that age, and mentally you feel broken, then maybe it's time to fold in the cards, before you waste away another decade
Godspeed with you fellow anon. It has been great spending time with you on this board. I'm getting closer to suicide each day.
>Just drained my bank account paying this month's bills.
>Barely any food to eat.
>No gas to start my car.
>Searching for any type of menial job with no luck.
>Stuck in god knows how long waiver process for the military... which was my only out from this hell.
>No friends real friends.
>No family.
>Have 12 gauge in closet loaded up.
>Already written suicide note.
I don't know if I am going to be here much long either anon. Hope we can meet if I break through and can finally be at peace from this fucked up matrix. Good bye fellow anon. See you on the darkside of the moon.
>>26708955
I'm going to buy land and build small homes on it to rehabilitate people like you. Obviously I can do nothing for you currently. If you have money and are going to kill yourself help out by wiring the last of your money to me. I'd like to keep a continued watch over the threads here; I've done so for several years every night and watch for these sorts of threads.
I know it doesn't make sense, but I know your predicament and can help you but you have to help yourself first, and since you're not really willing at this point, you're nobody who can be helped. I don't begrudge you dying, as I have been at death's door before. There really is no reason to trust what I say--- obviously I understand that it doesn't help to talk at this point. I won't ask you to calm down. It is serious and should bother you. We should all be bothered.
I can at least carry the memory of who you are if you give me your name.
If you reply, I'll gladly give you a throwaway email address and we can talk further. I'd like to know who you were. I'd like to carry your burdens even after you go. A lot of people here will say "how beautiful, those sweet last words." They are just as bad... as those other people who have hurt us. They do this again and again, psychic leeches who feed on your suffering and each others suffering. Me? I'm only around because I am bitter against them. I resist this place and every place and people.
If they want you dead, you will give them everything they want.
>>26713907
I'm so sorry anon, some people just get the worst hand in life. I wish I could help you out a bit in some way. No matter what you choose or what happens, I wish you the best.
>>26713907
Sell your 12 gauge and drive to Alaska or Colorado or Washington. See the last days of your life with joy... do the final things to make your life what it could have been. It's better to live recklessly and free before you go. You have to do all the things you hadn't and hated not doing, and then you'll see at the end that you really were ready to go.
>>26708955
You don't have to kill yourself, just drop out of the shit you're currently doing and move back in with your parents while you figure out what's next.
Don't use a gun and give the antis more fucking ammo. Go on the suicide board on cripplechan, there's a nembutal thread on it with a post from the peaceful pill e book detailing the email address of a reliable n seller
>>26714009
"I want to make a profit off your misery"
Fag, dont do it. Go wander and find your worth.
>>26713258
Because he doesn't want to die.
Suicide survivors say the last thing they think before they "die" is that they don't want to die.
It's just human. We can't realize it until it happens. For most of us who come to that point, though, it's too little too late.
No one wants to die. Dying is the most horrible thing to our reptile brains. It's the very antithesis of everything our brain wants. Of course we don't want it. But some of us have such a fucked up mind that we convince ourselves that we do want to die.
>>26714216
We are biologically wired to want to live and make babies. It just means the instinct is talking. Nothing more.
>>26708955
Reading this edges me a little further into where you're at right now.
The only place I've ever felt understood is here. It's not much and it hasn't really helped. I'm sure that if many of us here who seem to feel the same way ever met, we probably wouldn't get along very well. Or maybe not. Maybe we could've made a difference, provided some sort of comfort in each others lives. All the same, it doesn't matter--we'll never have any contact beyond a faceless imageboard.
I'm not a believer, but it sometimes helps me get through the bad days when I imagine that beyond this life we get another chance to know each other, to look past our flaws and find whatever it is we're looking for. It's bullshit, I know, but what isn't these days.
Take care friendo. We'll meet again. Don't know when. Don't know where. But I know we'll meet again.
>>26714216
wrong. I tried oding on pills and only thing it did was make me tired. I thought I was gonna just pass out and die in the amulance and it was the best thing in the world.
>>26714140
What purpose does this death even serve? None. It is a solipsistic entropic decay into death. Whatever debt he has will be transferred onto his relatives. So, too, will his emotional baggage. And what of his misery? He will be dead, what concern has he for his misery? It is over, ended. It is gone and done.
The cycle repeats endlessly. Only some kind of opportunist as myself has ever had any hope of destroying the cycle. You only need learn to believe in or have faith in the message, not me.
I'm not important, just a vessel for the good work. I'd just as easily be dead, too.
Honestly, you need to erase the notion of ending your life; there is so much magical experiences life has to offer if you are willing to search and presue. What you need is a new lease on life; there is an infinitely abundant variety of options for you to take that prove to be more beneficial in the long run.
Consider trying some drug like MDMA and realize how fortunate you are to even be in a situation where you have the freedom to choose what you really desire.
>>26708955
what you need is escapism from the hell that is your life
the answer to your troubles is drugs
makes you forget about your troubles and your life and brings you to a happier world
it won't completely solve all your problems but it will mend your damaged psyche and give you rest from your hardships
it will give you a reason to live
your already at rock bottom you have nothing to lose
>>26710434
not op
what branch you joining?
im joining next year because like most people that join the military im a young fuck up that can still salvage something
>>26714480
ODing is not a real form of suicide, just a cry for help and a method of atteintion seeking used by most tumblr girls
your living proof of that
