What's the secret behind eye contact?
This is a question to any robots and any lurking normies alike.
I feel like if I make eye contact with someone it's a necessity to look away within 2 seconds or else it gets creepy. But people say the key to confidence is maintaining eye contact.
It feels so fucking wrong, though. Is this how out of hand my social ineptitude has gotten? I overthink eye contact when i converse with anyone outside my family.
Please guys, how does it work? And if I'm doing it wrong, if I do it right what will it bring me? I'm socially insecure but I could actually be something if I figured out my insecurities.
>>26697328
you could have extremely mild autism
>>26697448
i get that feel all the time. there should be nothing wrong with me, never got the feeling i've got autism but this shit, along with the way i think way too much about social situations are the only thinghs that show up as red autism flags
for fucks sake
You're supposed to look away every few seconds. You're right that it gets creepy if you do it for longer, so I think you're doing fine.
I have trouble with when I should say hi to people I know. If we're walking towards each other, how far away from them should I be? If I see someone sitting on a bus, or in a lecture, should I go over to them or try to get their attention?
>>26697328
You have to be one with your hatred.
Don't sneer, just bore into their soul with your eyes, powered by your resentment of normies, and your hatred of your cruel broken family. Make them nervous.
>>26697478
i never really knew much about autism back in the day, but after coming to r9k i slowly started to suspect it. now looking back on my life its totally obvious, i even went to some kind of therapy back in early primary school. the thing that bothers me is that my parents knew yet they never told me
>>26697495
holy shit OP here yes I get that one too. It's literally just the little things like this, you know?
and when you lock eyes with someone when walking past each other, that awkward moment when you dont know if you should say hi so you stare at the ground like a fucking autist just to make it easier on yourself
and then just as you pass them they say hi but you dont stop walking and just mutter hi, after you've passed them
that one fucking resonates with me too holy shit
>>26697537
i'm not autistic in anything other than social affairs so i suspect aspergers with myself
but even then i dont get intense interests or confused about the world
it's just fucking socialising
my problem is I stare so intently I creep other people out.
I have glossed over eyes or something, people have said I look empty inside.
>>26697571
its not like an all or nothing thing, compare it to a weight slider in character creation in a game you probably have just a little above 0
>>26697552
Oh man, I hate when I halfway commit to saying something so I just whisper it under my breath. I'm trying really hard to remember names and say hi to people I know right now, but sometimes I just can't do it, I feel like I need some kind of excuse unless I know them really well.
>>26697620
so what you're saying is i have 1/20th of an extra chromosone
fucking thanks nature
not actually sure if i would want to just be straight up autistic and know im fucked, rather than be a little autistic and have a chance at life but be fucked by one tiny little thing
>>26697661
the extra chromosome thing is down syndrome (short necks, and limbs, and beady eyes) autism is neurological i think
>>26697648
here's one for you, how about those times when you spend ages deciding whether to say hi, then you say hi, and then they say nothing and continue walking
and you spend 30 minutes afterwards wondering if they heard you or straight up ignored you, and try and decide whether to start not talking to that person
stare at their nose instead of their eyes
this is what my therapist told me to do and it actually helps a lot
Here's what I've heard from sales trading courses. Every ten seconds or so, briefly look at their ear.
It breaks the eye contact with the face just long enough to not be creepy.
>>26697688
oh okay fair enough , im no scientist but at least SOMETHING might be wrong
>>26697709
even 3 seconds maximum makes it seem like im expressing my deep affections for the person though.
are people really ok with 10 seconds of eye contact?
>>26697700
I also think about it just as long when I spend forever deciding what to do and then they leave the room. Then I sit there thinking about how much of an autist I am.
>>26697775
10 seconds seems like a long time to me, desu. But what do I know?
>>26697778
this also kinda applies when you're maybe in a lesson at school and have been actively talking to someone in a lesson about the work, having a laugh with them
but you're not actually really their friend, do you say "Bye"? does saying that make it awkward? if you're both leaving at the same time, do you keep following them if you're going the same way and continue conversing with them even if you're not friends? are they gonna be pissed off that you won't stop talking to them now the lesson's over?
>>26697796
as little as myself it seems
we're all here for a reason i guess
>>26697830
And then do you say hi to them the next time you have class? Do you go sit next to them? Is there a normie out there that wants to answer all of these mysteries for us?
try to convey how you feel about eye contact with eye contact.
oi play it as i could look at you dead eye all day so let me do you a favor and dart away occasionally.
or if its pretty girl i immidiately break eye contact cause come on im not trying to ruin my day.
at work to go from the floor to upstairs past the lunch room to the toilet you basically walk down a corridor that is 1.8 people wide and 50-60m long
if someone is coming the other way you have to either stare at them or look away for a full minute while walking it is the worst hell
making eye contact during a conversation is nothing compared to that, just use hand movements and look at them to relieve that stress but this theres nothing you can do
>>26697896
let's ask more frustrating questions, it makes me feel better
how long does it take for a friendship to have successfully formed?
how many times do you have to have small interactions with someone to justify hanging out with them?
>>26698003
I think i make that worse by wondering what the other person thinks. I feel like we could say we're friends, but then I worry that maybe they don't think so, so then I stop talking to them, then they don't think I think we're friends, and then we aren't. So I constantly have to remind myself that I need to talk to them at least once a week in our classes to keep the relationship going.
>>26697775
THIS
especially if you're blue eyed
>eye contact with 10/10
>her pupils dilated
why even live?
>>26698263
well if you made her pupils dilate why stop?
>>26698284
dilated doesn't mean aversion?
>>26698300
no it means affection or attraction you bellend
>>26698461
You gotta be fucking kidding me
Keep eye contact and smile.
Puts the social pressure on the one you are looking at.
>>26698501
Normie speaking? (i ask in a non aggressive "REEEEEEEEEE" way)
>>26698500
hahahahahahahah you made my day you fuckup
im sorry but that is just
and that pic works so well
>>26698528
Just the way I deal with this issue. I'm a normie, tho
>>26698600
FUCKING NORMIE GET OU-
just fucking with you man.
would you call yourself a confident person in general?
How do people treat you on a day to day basis and in friendship groups (look up to you, look down on you, insult you, compliment you, treat you as the joke of the group, the leader of the group etc)
>>26697328
Impose your will upon the other person and the first person to look away is a pu$$i boi and has a weak spirit.
>>26698528
>Normie Sympathizer
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>26697328
Look away, then eye contact, then look away, then eye contact. All of that interlapped with blinks.
It's hard, but it's doable.
>>26698660
fuck outta here kid we're getting useful tips we're the one who need sympathy not the normies
>>26697328
>What's the secret behind eye contact?
I look through the person. Even if it gives you a thousand yards stare, it's better than nothing.
>>26698697
yeah but then i become aware that I'm looking away occasionally and then im aware of when i look back into their eyes and focus on that awkwardness more than what we were talking about, and then i get so embarrassed i end up not looking at them at all.
fuck why does this have to be so hard, how do i practice this shit?
>>26698698
Who else could it be?
The bronies? Please
Normies? They brought wizardry to us all
This will be the age of robots. Robots
>>26698732
real robots dont blame normies for their own mistakes or genetic deficiencies, they just shit their pants and cry about it and wish they were normies. and swear at normies for having what they dont have. but they dont blame normiesl.
>>26698790
I can't believe you took my Master Pepe OC so srsly
>>26698638
Now i'm a confident person, in general, but not always. When i was younger, in my late teens i was very anxious guy.
People treat me well dialy.
About my friends: In some situations i'm the group leader, in some situations i'm not. It depends on the subject, the one with most expertise in the subject leads. They look up on my qualitys and don't care about my flaws since i'm always trying to be a better me.
Some people compliment me, some people insult me. Mostly the former
Sorry for the long time for the response and bad english. It's been a long time since i wrote in english
>>26698815
im sorry man i didnt mean to take you seriously i realised afterwards that was a dick way to react ahah
>>26698854
I was confident and unaware until 7th grade when this fucking stacy would make hits about my uglyness every now and them, only to end up dating a 3/10 asshole next year
>>26698854
no problem about the response time.
besides the eye contact thing, what would you say are the main things to focus on in social situations that can change you from the anxious you into being a group leader confident kinda guy?
>>26697328
I haven't made eye contact with someone for like 4 fucking years
>>26698896
being confident and unaware is the worst combo ever.
then if you take it too far and you're not tall and handsome people start saying you're annoying, and then you're done for and outcasted before you can say "fuck off normies"
I dont think its necessarily autism. I used to feel the same. But now I feel comfortable looking at peoples eyes for long periods. Just took some practice.
>>26698927
yes I was considered annoying, now I'm just unconfident and extremely aware
This fucking thread is me.
>>26698965
How did you practice without experiencing complete isolation because you wouldnt stop throwing your eyes around the place when trying to look at people?
>>26699064
Not the guy you're talking to but talking to people looking away is actually very commonplace to me
>>26698896
I bet she liked you, called you ugly and dated an ugly guy. She wanted you, kids don't know how to show affection, especialy girls.
>>26698905
I don't know, i can only say what i did and hope that it helps. I learned that no one really knows shit and deep down they are insecure. Especialy women, they are the pinacle of insecurity. Even chads.
But confidence is a feedback feeling, if you show being confident, people will act on your confidence and you will feel more confident. It's a upward spiral thing, I believe. You don't need to think of yourself as the best always, at the beginning just the feeling of improving in anything is enough. Improve yourself and don't care about what other think about you, because they are too absorted in they own lifes and can't see you for what you really are, they only see you on a superficial level.
I don't know if i made myself clear, sorry.
Man, i really need to practice writing in english.
>>26699126
It's commonplace to me which is why I think I have a problem.
Do you constantly get paranoid about it as well or are you a normie who doesn't do eye contact and gets away with it somehow? (and how?!)
>>26699170
I don't get away with it because I'm a KV, idk, I have some friends, they never complained
I'm just very bad with small talking overall, unless the subject is well known to me or I know the person I'm talking to well enough
>>26699170
>>26699305
But yeah, I get kinda uncomfortable with it
>>26699064
I had close friends who did it with me. One of them told me that eye contact is important for emotional connection which is why I began trying to overcome this. After a bit I could do it with other people too and was fine.
>can keep eye contact indefinitely
>tfw can't focus on people's words because eye contact takes too much concentration to not break
>>26699650
THIS
my attention spam is absolute garbage
>>26697328
Play with me and it's a cemetery
>>26698500
Best one today. I remember my oneitis looking at me in the eyes when I was maybe 17 and her pupils shrunk immediately like the heroine just hit. That fucked me up, truly, madly, deeply.
