I'm jumping to my death. The last thing in my way is this door. The black bolt isn't being used.
The building is 21 stories high and above concrete.
I was able to make it to the top and bypass the first security measure because it was literally a broken ass fence with a hole in it.
I was thinking of smashing through with a sledgehammer, but there has to be a better way. Loud noises could cause people to investigate!
Help me be free robots.
For all those curious on why, I'll post my suicide note for you guys publicly when I am confident I have a way out, but for now I don't want anyone blowing the whistle based on any personal info in the note.
I'm sure you guys would like me to take some Chads and Stacies with me, but I can't. I have no access to guns, and nothing would guarantee the cops wouldn't stop me before I suicided.
Alternatively, anyone know where I can get some Nembutal? Seems like the Silver Bullet for suicide, but its rare as fuck and illegal.
And yes.
I will do a flip, just for you.
>>26681422
Don't do it brospehus
>>26681422
Just be careful, okay?
>>26681422
Don't do it roboto
>>26681458
Be careful of what?
Get a titanium drill bit and drill out the lock, it is noisy but not as fucking retarded as your sledgehammer idea
You're not serious, right ?
>OP tries to sledge hammer the door
>it doesn't break because you're not in COD4
>someone calls building owner
>arrests you
>you go to jail
>niggers slit your throat with a plastic knife in your sleep
Sledge hammer is a good way to kill yourself op.
>>26681422
Can you post a pic of what's behind the door?
You can easily make lockpicks or buy 5$ lockpicks that, with some 2 hours worth of practice, should have you opening that gate in under 5 minutes and with virtually zero noise.
ask the building manager for the key
Just frog feet climb up the wall.
>>26681422
Don't do it go to church and find someone who will teach you how to love yourself and others. This is not the way anon. I'm typing this as fast as I can hoping you will take heed to my message. You can still be saved and even save others from themselves. Be kind and your kindness will be returned and If not be even more kind to those who is unkind. Love your peer as you love yourself. You are here for a reason and there is a plan for you you will not die today. Rather live for eternity OP than die for just having a self righteous moment.
>>26681479
Yeah, I guess the sledgehammer idea was fucking retarded. I'll look into the drillbit, but I still hope someone else has a "safer" idea.
When you say drill out the lock, do you mean take out all the screws in that metal plate?
>>26681510
No, because I can't get through it. Thats the problem.
>>26681521
How would I practice? This sounds too good to be true anon, but I'll try it. What brand do you recommend? Does it matter?
>>26681549
That made me laugh. Thanks.
>>26681494
Ok I get it the sledgehammer idea is garbage.
On another note, how will I be calm? I cant pussy out.
>>26681565
I wish I knew what that meant.
Jump already you stupid pussy. Just letting you know you're gonna go to hell too. You can have enternal suffering or die a natural death. Your choice
>>26681604
I'm trying. I can't get through the door.
>>26681599
>>26681635
>>26681422
gonna need the note
>>26681635
Please anon stop this now! In fact I beg you! Don't do this!
>>26681635
Be the hero that we need but don't deserve. I wish to die, but now knowing that there is someone that is braver than me out there is great.
That is, if you actually do it.
>>26681422
To do it quietly you'll either have to pick the lock or have some basic tools with which you could remove that metal plate beside the knob and then use a flathead.
If you can make a little noise you can pop the hinges.
Otherwise smash shit.
>>26681598
fucking disgusting normie.
Self righteous, pretentious, and dripping of fake empathy
You're more vile than any mental issue OP is going through.
You should follow their example and off yourself, faggot.
>>26681471
He might die.
>>26681599
For the lockpicks, it doesnt matter. Just search in amazon. Practice by unlocking other doors? Inside your house and such. Some lockpick sets come with a practice padlock that is transparent so you see what you're doing, but its unnecessary. You do it once and then it just comes naturally. Same with video tutorials, you won't even need them with normal locks because of how easy picking locks actually is.
>>26681422
like others have said, dont do it.
if you're absolutely sure you want to end it, surely there's hundreds of places you can jump from that aren't blocked by a locked door?
try a screwdriver?
>>26681682
This, to be perfectly honest with you family.
If you need to get a tool to open it you might as well skip some steps and use the tool on yourself.
>>26681422
you can rent a plasma cutter
or you can jump out a window one floor down
>>26681599
Is there seriously not another building high enough you can get into?
Godspeed anon.
If you dont have any debts btw, you can easily get a few k loan and buy whatever the fuck you want to kill yourself
dont listen to these retards, just do it
>>26681661
I'll be posting the note shortly before I go. Thanks, robot bro. I think the right to die should be given to all adults.
If you are having problems yourself, really think about it. Consider everything. If you still wanna go, have a plan. Don't do anything without a plan, trust me. Over 90% of suicides fail due to no planning.
>>26681682
This guy understands.
>>26681701
That's true, but theyd probably be more public, meaning more chances of getting stopped somehow. This building is run down as fuck and has almost no upkeep and security. If I'm through that door, Im home free. Unless there is some other security measure in place, but it is definitely outside beyond that door considering the light coming through.
>>26681754
Yeah, I'll just knock on someone's door to let me in, right?
>>26681756
I have some cash. I've looked into exit bags, chloroquine, and Nembutal, but these things seem either too technical for me, or impossible to get a hold of.
Jumping seems simple, and surefire.
I could look into other buildings, but I'm afraid of people reporting suspicious activity. This building is so garbage that nobody would be around, theres no security.
Any suggestions?
>>26681795
Trying to.
brah just smoke weed n watch anime
you'll forget why you even wanted to die in the first place
>>26681813
Thanks for the advice mang. I can just blow my brains out at any moment so I am riding on that.
>>26681599
When I say drill out the lock I mean boring a hole straight through the lock cylinder where the key goes, that's why you need a titanium bit
I used to do lock changes for a mortgage company and sometimes they wouldn't have a key for the existing lock and that's I got into the property without causing any damage
>>26681813
>Yeah, I'll just knock on someone's door to let me in, right?
Yup, and then gently push the person out of your way, walk towards a window, open it and jump
Sell a bunch of shit and buy a gun, or steal a gun. You can also steal a bunch of shit and sell it for a gun.
>>26681858
Make sure you know where to aim. Gun to the temple is survivable. I personally don't know how to aim, but look it up. I think through the mouth is the best way, but do your research man. You dont wanna live through a gunshot to the head.
I wish I could have a gun. Any chance you could hook me up? That would be really nice.
>>26681880
Thanks. I'll keep it in mind. How long must I drill before it will open?
>>26681813
why cant you just shoot yourself in the head ? it seems even easier, and you wouldnt have to figure out how to get past that door.
>>26681929
I'm in Canada, I've looked into getting guns, and it's a lot harder than you'd think. It's not the way, unless I really missed something.
>>26681883
There are so many ways that could go wrong. I need to do this with as little variables as possible to ensure my plan is complete.
Why don't you guys go to /k/ and ask around if you can use someone's gun
>>26681959
Lol op is somewhere in the gta. I know that building, a typical run down community housing apartment.
Holy shit, are you me? I'm planning on jumping out of a building too. The difference is mine's only like 100 feet tall. I also live in Canada and looked into getting a gun but it's impossible unless you know some nigs.
>>26681813
But anon why would you do such a thing? If you indeed have some money then why not go and spend it? There is so much you could do with your life, and I'm not just saying that to make you not jump.
This is such a damn shame, you are willing to let go of everything, and you use this feat to kill yourself? Why not do what you always dreamed of doing, or leave your mark on the world, on history, it's all within your power.
And if you truely won't consider my words, I want to help you myself. I offer you my residence and time to help you see the point in life, to go on, to be happy.
Please, please do not kill yourself.
I beg of you
>>26682055
You would die still if you fell the correct way.
Acceleration due to gravity is 9.8 meters/s^2 so you'd fall for about 4 seconds and you'd generate about 6000-8000 Newtons depending on your weight, and that's enough to break bone. It's good enough.
>>26682055
Make sure you know what you are doing. Do your research. You don't want to end up surviving a fall like that somehow because you made a mistake.
>>26681422
Don't do it, literally every person that tried to commit suicide by jumping and somehow managed to survive all said that they regretted it the moment they jumped off.
http://youtu.be/WcSUs9iZv-g
This video prevented me from doing the same thing you're trying to do.
We're all going to make it, bros.
>>26682086
Please stop trying to talk him out of it, suicidal people hate when normalslime try to patronize them by saying, "Oh it'll get better, you just need to do something and then it'll get better." That's not how it works for people like us so please just stop wasting your time.
>>26682142
Yeah I know. I'm hoping the 100 foot fall is enough. I wish I had a gun but they're so ahrd to get in Canada. You need a guarantor and I don't want anyone knowing.
Post your suicide note. I find them morbidly interesting.
Best of luck to you on the other side of life.
>>26682144
Stfu u eggman loving cuck
>>26682086
This is not how it works, when you're suicidal you just can't get into this kind of attitude, all you want is to die, not to go down in history, unless you want to take some filthy normies with you.
>>26682189
>You need a guarantor
Depending on what province you're in, they won't bother calling anyone that you list as a reference if your just getting your PAL. Kinda sucks you need your PAL to buy ammo though cause a slam bang shotgun is really easy to make. It's probably how I'm going to go.
>>26681422
>>26682055
Don't do it lads.
Whatever has caused you to get to this point in your lives, it can't be that bad.
Talk to someone, anyone.
Or if you sperg to hard to do that read some books. The Epictetus had some book called the Enchiridion or something that explained that what happens to you in life is not what makes you happy or sad, it is your reaction to it.
>>26682189
dude carbon monoxide poisoning or something jumping is a shit tier method
>>26682210
Edgy.
>>>/b/ this might be a board more suitable for you.
>>26682179
>people like us
I was suicidal too once, just as serious as OP seems to be if not more serious. My best friend at the time, 20 years old, killed himself by jumping off a six story building one night.
Not only did it greatly affect me, I saw how it greatly affected everyone around, both people he knew and even people it didn't. I saw and realized how wasteful his death was, a young man with infinite potential, full of dreams and passions of his own, gone in a few seconds. I think of all the great times we had, and all he could have done with his life and it greatly saddens me.
You are literally wasting your life, and you don't get another one. I know that life can seem horrible, pointless and fruitless to you right now, but killing yourself is NOT the answer. There is so so so so fucking much you could do with your life, this is the last thing you should be doing.
>>26682144
>literally every person survives
>over 2k people have died statistic seconds into the video
this guy is called an outlier in statistics.
also, its harder to die by jumping in water. the coast guard even said it was a miracle he lived.
>>26682189
There is a significant chance you will live. Try to find something higher.
DO YOUR RESEARCH
>>26681422
I'm currently theoretically planning a suicide, but the way I do it is going to be the most apathetic way that I can.
Like literally in the note, it would say something like "I do not care about any of you."
>>26682144
Lol what else are they going to say? Yes, crying family members, I wish I had died so I didn't have to see your fat ugly fucking faces again?
Surviving a fall sucks tho. Ur legs are perma fucked up. You won't be able to squat down anymore and bending over to shit'll hurt.
>>26682311
It's not about that, it's the fact that everyone regrets jumping the second they jump off.
>>26681422
I promise you that if you do this, you'll be regretting it within a second of the jump. Deep down you know there's still something worth living for.
Look, post your number. Call a hotline. TALK TO SOMEONE. Anything that will make you regain the desire to throw yourself back out in the world and challenge the shit. Do this now, man.
>>26681813
>surefire.
Nigga you better land headfirst then, otherwise your entire body would get fucked up and you'd be "rescued" just to live in a bed watching TV until your brain gives up.
>>26682277
My life is a waste already mate. What's the loss? At least suicide gives you a little dignity to die with. Drinking yourself to death or dying alone at 84 doesn't sound much better.
>>26682340
Yeah and then a day later they probably regret not succeeding. Just because your survival instinct kicks in doesn't mean it's the right choice.
>>26682325
If they really wanted to kill themselves, they would've found another way.
>>26682277
>full of dreams and passions of his own
Most people here want to kill themselves because they have no dreams or passions, just crippling depression.
>>26682343
The most important factor in suicide by jumping is height. Stone2 states that jumping from 150 feet (46 metres) or higher on land, and 250 feet (76 metres) or more on water, is 95% to 98% fatal. 150 feet/46 metres, equates to roughly 10 to 15 stories in a building, depending on the height of one story. 250 feet is the height of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.
My building is roughly 190 feet tall. I should die.
>>26682350
That's not true, I've done research on this because I wanted to commit suicide as well at a point in my life.
>>26682229
Dude ur posting an eggman reference that originated on r9k and your telling me to go to b? Fuck off nigger
>>26682350
Nah they usually actually get treatment and treatment actually helps people. Most depression is caused because society sucks a big fat nigger dick, but you can band-aid that shit up by taking happy pills and ignoring that life is struggle.
Since there's no hiding your depression after you jumped off a building, you get help. Usually it's mandated by the state. That often works.
>>26682375
I just wanted to remind you that you CANT fuck up or you'll be kept alive in a hospital bed for decades.
Out of curiosity, can you give us an idea of why are you leaving?
>>26682390
>can't spell
>unnecessary use of nigger
Yep,it all checks out. Back to /b/ with you.
>>26682375
Can you buy a Go Pro and live stream it for us somehow?
>>26682416
No, most of them can get out of the hospital bed. They're stuck to wheelchair and shit though. Can't get a boner, have to shit in a diaper.
I'd seriously recommend a different method. If you fuck up, you don't want your forced life to suck more than it has to.
>>26682421
Lol im on my phone and english is not even my primary language u nigger
>>26682445
Well, like I've said, I can't do guns. Should I just stick to the nitrogen exit bag? Or chloroquine?
How could I possibly survive a 21 story drop onto concrete? Even if I did, i'd probably die before anyone could save me.
>1 hr later
>not delivering suicide note
you mother fuck bitch im updating for this
>>26682481
I need to know I have a 100% way out. I'll be posting it literally minutes before I suicide, but for now I cant get through the door.
I will deliver eventually.
>>26682454
>browsing by phone
>can't even speak English
So you're a normalfag and a b-tard? Your parents must hate you.
Post your suicide note, remove personal details, and do not commit suicide.
>>26682277
>a young man with infinite potential, full of dreams and passions
So what age is it okay then?
I'm almost 30 and I have no more potential.
>>26682504
Once you do, it will inspire me to do the same.
But I think you should say why you're doing it.
>>26682471
Intentional carbon monoxide poisoning, some pills, liquor is a fun way, nitrogen is a great way since it's painless. They're less likely to succeed, but you're also less likely to regret living if you fail. Worst case you get some brain damage, but no suicide attempt is without risks.
It's very unlikely you'd fail if you jumped. Like 1%. Still, 1/100 chance you shit in a diaper and spend the rest of your life being everyone's pity tampon.
nigger you will die anyway, why speed up the inevitable? do you think there's some release after death, you go somewhere, or that you wont be in excruciating pain once you hit the concrete? Even on the golden gate bridge no one dies on impact
not to mention you piss and shit yourself, imagine shitting and pissing yourself in front of an entire crowd, like a fucking middleschool horror story all over again
start doing things that endanger you but dont kill yourself senpai, that's just dumb
>>26682533
The note is over 20 pages long. Its more of a report, really. I'd have to edit it for a very long time to do that.
>>26682541
Julius Caesar at 33 cried when he saw the statue of Alexander the Great and said, "When you were my age you conquered the world but I haven't conquered anything." You can do a lot from age 30. You've got like 35+ solid years left. Go open a churro stand or some shit.
>>26682565
Okay, just post the note and don't go through with it. Win win.
BUY A FUCKING GO PRO AND LIVE STREAM IT YOU NIGGER
>>26682556
There's no point in living in suffering. You know when your life will just be endless suffering when you want to commit suicide. People like us.
>>26682556
That Gooden Gate Bridge shit is true. Lots of people actually survive the fall, then continue falling so deep that they drown as they start to resurface. So fucked up.
Falling is the worst way to die man. No dignity, not painless, and you make a mess for some street cleaners. You're basically getting crushed to death, but not enough to instantly finish the job. You have to wait around for your organs to fail. Real class act of shit.
>>26682585
He said he had personal details on it senpai, someone could snitch him.
OP the exit bag sounds like a good idea, is the chloroquine the coctail that causes heart failure after you drink it?
>>26682578
Casey I know this is you, please stop trying to "help"
>>26682565
>over 20 pages long
Question?
Why are there people telling OP not to jump? You don't know this person and never will and his death wont affect you in anyway assuming you even find out about it. You are two organisms that are extremely briefly passing each other by.
>>26682619
That's why I said don't go through with it.
>>26682504
don't do it, you will die one day already
>>26682578
what does it have to do with him, hes not a fucking julius ceasar
>>26682625
Sorry man. I really can't think of any good advice. I just really want some fucking churros
Why are all these people saying nigger? When did we turn into /b/?
>>26682631
this kind of Darwinist thought is rubbish.
>>26682277
>There is so so so so fucking much you could do with your life
Fame = don't want it, seen how stupid people are/how pointless and cheap it is, sociopaths, murderers and serial killers all manipulate people into fame, meaningless
Artistic success = who cares (probably closest though)
Romantic love = impossible
Suicide = ideal way out to a worthless life. Remove yourself from the gene pool, quell the voice in your head telling you you're a worthless fleck of genetic refuse and absolute garbage, eternal bliss and happiness. Why not suicide? Normals who love society and life benefit (no garbage broken genes), the broken garbage dies and the voices in his head finally are silent, what's the issue?
>>26682648
You can't help me and you can't help this man. Just let him die like he wants to.
>>26682650
Newfag nigger
Eat bananas till your heart stops.
>>26682631
Because I wish it was me.
>>26682650
Fuck off back to Plebbit you rancid nigger.
>>26682144
>2,000 people
I'm from the area and there's a lot more.
most of them go unreported due to being 'accidental' it's mostly braindead young people that think water = safe from any height and come from the midwest.
I saw a dude jump once in front of a group of schoolkids, his last words were 'fuck you kid' and it made me stop wanting to an hero for whatever reason.
anyway, OP I do believe in the right to self-terminate. if you must do it do it in a better way, get a fucking helium tank and say your goodbyes proper. hauling yourself off a building is disgraceful and likely won't kill you.
>>26681422
I'm in exactly the same situation OP.
If you can't get past the door I would advice finding one of those multi story car parks. Anything above 7 floors should kill you.
>>26682654
yeah but thats not actually a response to my question. Thats like someone asking you if your hungry and saying 'i'm tired of all this food jibber jabber' but still being hungry
>>26682619
Yeah, but there are other ingredients that will make you fall asleep before it happens, and ones that will stop you from puking it up. There is a significant amount of prep work to do, and its fairly technical.
You'd have to grind the pills, and you have to take certain pills at regular intervals before the final execution.
>>26681422
>Leap and fly
>Like an bird
>splatter on the concrete
>like a runny turd
>>26682650
We've been /b/ 2.0 for a while now.
We changed from helping each other and supporting into "lol livestraem
It Xd ".
This board has gone to shit but I have nowhere else to go.
>>26682665
>Romantic love = impossible
Are you kidding? No wonder you want to kill urself mate. A person without friends or lovers will always want to kill themselves. Social isolation is basically the worst thing ever.
I would seriously consider correcting that. Maybe get some hobbies or something.
Bump keys are ezpz way to get through locket doors, you just need to know the make of the lock to be sure. Locksmiths normally have a set but you can buy or make them yourself. Actually picking a lock is really difficult normally and takes forever even if you're good at it (you're not). Maybe consider mixing some thermite and just burn through the fucker if you can think of a way to actually apply it? Normally it's filled inside a soda can or something but that may not sit on top of your lock.
Building a gun is also super fucking easy if you have access to a hardware store with pipes and shit. The only problem is if sale of ammunition is restricted in your country. Four winds shotgun and slam bangs are typical examples.
>>26682699
>'fuck you kid'
>jumps to own death
I'm betting dreams upon my paper wings
Because flying isn't just for kings
I take the stairs to the very top floor
I paid the super to leave open the door
A perfect sunset is sinking in the sky
I know my body is ready to fly
I start the countdown backwards from ten
When I reach one my family name will end
>>26682641
Julius Caesar wasn't a Julius Caesar either mate, that's the whole fucking point of the story. He made something out of himself because he realized he was wasting his life. He found something that made him happy (in his case conquering Gauls and destroying the Roman Republic) and pursued it.
>>26682729
Tbh if OP is going to kill himself because he can't get his dick wet inside of a girl, he's literally pathetic.
I bet you also blame other people without trying to change yourself, right? I bet you blame it on your ugly face, or >muh autism? But guess what, there are lots of ugly people and autists that made it in life, what's stopping you from doing the same?
OP, you're a big faggot.
>>26682708
Yeah thats the one that I remember from an image but could never rmember the ingredients.I might want to keep it close just in case.
That combined with the exit bag could work.
>>26682631
Normies want to feel good
>>26682801
Normie please leave ya cunt.
>>26682578
So I just have to be born into a long bloodline of royalty that affords me the political power to change the world even after a decade of failure and everything will be okay?
T-Thanks
>>26682676
you wish who was you, the person who wants to jump? As in you wish you had someone telling you not to jump because it sounds like you are the person telling yourself not to jump in which case theres no real threat of you jumping.
>>26682672
>>26682695
This is exactly what I mean
Damn. What a sad day.
>>26682729
first day on r9k ? i didnt know you could reach that level of no self awareness
>>26682837
Stop using buzzwords, anon.
>>26682870
I didn't know 'cunt' was a buzzword. Thanks for informing me,
>>26682841
Lol I don't think the story was meant to be taken literally. Maybe shoot for reasonable expectations. Like instead of Dictator Eternal of All Rome, open a restaurant. I mean if you're going to kys anyway, you might as well open a restaurant first and see how that works.
OP if you are still here, go ask the manager for the key and tell him that you're an aspiring photographer doing a project and would like to take a picture from the roof top. Or just bribe him for the key. There are creative ways to overcome the blocks in your life path. Anyway see you soon in the hell robot.
>>26682888
>pic relatedconsider those trips Checked
Don't do it man. Don't.
>>26681422
Just get a gun if you're really going to do it. .357 magnum revolver or 12 gauge 00 buckshot shotgun to the head will both do the job.
Ideally, just get some fucking help, OP. If you don't want some normie psychiatrist, just talk to us.
>>26682898
What the fuck dude? That's actually kind of smart. What are you doing in my den of autism?
>>26682565
>20 pages
This gives me an idea. What if you wrote a suicide note so long you could publish it as a book? Could get a contract with a deal so bad financially for you that they agree to publish it without even reading it because they're basically printing free money. Or you could make it more cryptic to pass off as an actual book.
It could get famous, especially if you made a big spectacle out of your death. I wonder what would be the best place to donate the profits to support robots though. Autism awareness? Straight to 4chan?
>>26681422
PLEASE get some staceys
also atleast post name for legit
>>26682755
I will take this into consideration
>>26682802
It will most likely not work because your body will convulse during your state of unconsciousness, and you will damage the bag and other equipment.
>>26682801
if >tfw no gf
was my biggest problem, id be over the fucking moon
i dont care about that shit, its literally nowhere in my suicide note
As for the exit bag, I'm having a hard time getting my hands on a Nitrogen Tank in Canada. I need it delivered to a post office to pick it up, I cant have it arriving at home.
Any help on that would be amazing.
>>26682898
That's clever. I wouldn't try it though, too risky of being caught.
>>26682936
no one wants to ready, let alone pay for, a 20 page pissing-and-moaning essay about how his parents are cunts and his former girlfriend(s) were lying cheating whores. By page 6 most people would be eviscerating his corpse for his poor grammar and sentence structure.
At best 7th grade english teachers would use it as a what-not-to-do example.
>>26682914
I'm not trying to be retarded so that pic is
>unrelatedthanks for the check
>>26682927
>my den
Well now I know why you think that simple idea is smart.
>>26682936
They would call the cops and have you committed. Turns out normies don't actually like it when people kill themselves for some reason.
Crowbar. You could pop that open without much problem. They're not that loud either.
>>26682958
What's your real issues OP?
>>26683019
You can't be committed for that. Someone might call the cops on you and they'll have to come do a welfare check, but as long as you don't say you're going to kill yourself and give specific details, they can't do anything.
>>26683059
Probably money or something pathetic like that.
>>26682958
Do you happen to have the recipe for the coctail?
OP, be aware that failure will leave you crippled for life and unable to make another attempt.
Try and go face first. If you land on your head you'll fracture you're skull and will either be killed instantly or you'll be rendered unconscious and you'll suffer a brain haemorrhage.
>>26683075
https://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Suicide/Chloroquine_cocktail
you can find a lot through googling.
>>26682729
>Are you kidding? No wonder you want to kill urself mate. A person without friends or lovers will always want to kill themselves. Social isolation is basically the worst thing ever.
>I would seriously consider correcting that. Maybe get some hobbies or something.
lol this guy
>>26681422
JUST DO IT! Nothing is impossible!
>>26682958
Yeah no problem giving some tips. Anyway hanging yourself on a door knob is the most practical way, always. There's a reason they take your belt and shoe laces when you get to the looney bin. Make a noose with just enough slack to choke you out when sitting with all your weight. Get drunk as shit beforehand and it's super easy.
Fentanyl or acetylfentanyl can be bought easily over the darknet. You will die without possibility of being revived. Double check your dosages though, acetylfentanyl is much weaker than fentanyl, but still incredibly potent.
>>26682631
Because empathy. You fucking autists here probably dont know about it.
Btw here is a wallpaper for you.
>>26683117
Yeah, don't listen to this idiot.
There's a very high chance you'll turn into a potato if you hang yourself from a door knob.
Simply put: there is no easy way to end it without either going through a lot of risk at failure or a lot of agony.
>>26682675
You would probably need around 400 bananas a day to build up the kind of potassium levels that would cause your heart to stop beating.
>>26683117
9/10 times you fuck up the noose and end up strangling yourself to death. Fucking brutal m8
>>26683075
It causes cardiac arrest. Death will not be pleasent.
>>26683130
yeah but the empathy isnt even real. Its like saying boy i sure do hope the homeless get homes. You aint opening the door for them though and sitting on fucking 4chan saying 'no.. wait.. dont do it, op' is just as fucking empty of a sentiment
>>26683130
That's a fucking cool wallpaper, senpai.
>>26682565
>Its more of a report, really
actually loled for fifteen seconds. oh man. Don't do it though.
>>26683161
Yeah but killing yourself is final
It's kinda gay
What was the point of going through life
There's clearly not enough you didn't discover. Universe exists to be observed or whatever.
It's a very dumb mistake to make in a retarded state of mind. I would promote an heroing through mass shooting even if it's because of depressing job
>>26681422
>jumping 21 stories
Holy crap dude that has to hurt. Why not do yourself one last favor and save some money to get a high dose of morphine? It's literally the best way to go.
If you really want out then I understand, but at least be a bit humane with yourself. Go buy the morphine, do whatever the fuck you wanna experience before going out, fuck the youngest child whore you can find and off yourself in style.
>>26683005
That's why you'd have to make it as good as you can if you go with that idea. It's a straight up swan song and intended to be the most important words you have ever written in this context. Your death would be the fuel that spreads your last words across the world. Being at least vaguely competent as a writer or having some interesting things to write about would definitely help.
>>26683019
You could lie and say it was fiction and/or find a real shady publishing company who'd agree to roll with the idea as long as you "technically" aren't planning to actually kill yourself.
>>26683130
>Normie talking about empathy
Lel
>>26683145
>and end up strangling yourself to death. Fucking brutal m8
Wouldn't it just cut off the carotid? You'd be out in about 30 seconds.
>>26683220
>Yeah but killing yourself is final
Thank you for your wisdom.
>>26683220
Lol mate have you not come to terms with the Universe's cold indifference yet? We exist by mistake and it sucks. We're just trying to make it somewhat pleasant.
>>26683141
>>26683145
People hang themselves literally every day, sometimes ACCIDENTALLY. You can't blame me if the OP fucks up something this simple. One of my 8th grade classmates decades ago manages to hang himself from his bedpost, it's really very easy to do. Don't need to break the fucking neck or anything, just squeeze it until you pass out then gravity does the rest.
If you attempt suicide with someone in the room / nearby enough to save you then obviously you're doing it wrong. Don't do it unless you have at least a few hours privacy to make sure you're dead as fuck before anyone finds you.
>>26683260
>implying death is final
>>26683161
For you it is a cold sentiment because you are a fucking "robot". People depressed are like that. I am not of the ones that told op not to do it, but I can sure as hell tell you that I do feel empathy very strongly and I feel sorry for op. It is not for nothing people here call each other autists, it is because they think everyone feels what they feel. If you are a block of ice that doesnt feel shit for other people, dont assume everyone is like you
>>26683167
No problem. I also have a cute drawn ferret-thing one for faggot artists
>>26683268
Robin Williams did it from a door. David Carradine did it in a closet (though asian trannies might have killed him or something?), and Mike Tyson's infant daughter did it by accident on the cord from window blinds.
>>26683242
No because you'll begin instinctively flailing for a way to stop chokin yourself which will let blood keep flowing until your blood can no longer oxyginate properly and you black out. Unfortunately, the body will literally have every cell inside of it scream for you to stop when you kill yourself. Even if you legitimently want to die, it will convince you otherwise for long enough to keep you alive.
>>26683315
Do you have some simplicity wallpapers?
Those are cool as well.
>>26683268
I fucked you literally everything I've ever done. What makes you think I can kill myself properly?
>>26683315
>I feel for a stranger I will never meet and in all likelihood is just trolling /r9k/
Best friends are Barney and the folks at Sesame Street I presume? How is Elmo doing? And Grover?
>>26683359
>>26683315
Minimalist wallpaper is what I meant.
>>26683361
I talked to a man that failed a few times. Jumped from a building broke all his legs and some ribs and organs but survived and told people he just fell off because he was drunk. Same thing with crashing his car, overdosing, something else I think too.
Everything in life's luck one way or another so just keep trying and you'll do it eventually. Never tell admit it to anyone though or it'll be a lot harder.
>>26683401
Minimalism is the shit. Pic related, what a great poster.
>read thread thinking I'll eventually post sympathy for OP and try to convince him to stop
>end up wanting to learn lockpicking
i hope you're still alive to shitpost on r9k with me tomorrow OP
>>26683538
I agree, that is an awesome poster.
OP Here, I just trolled everyone lol, keep it up familia
OP atleast post your suicide note *just* before your suicide
>>26683571
Don't take the bait except for me.
>>26683571
>Lol i'm op xDDDD I didn't regard my name! XDDDDD
Gtfo newfag
>>26682025
someone should order a pizza for OP
>>26683612
>>26683615
lol jk
>>26681422
Please don't do it, man. Talk to someone. Get help.
>>26683645
Oh good, now please go jump off that building
>>26681422
If needs must...
Do a flip
You're kind of pathetic. Empathy would be too normie for me so tbqh f.am if you're this much of a useless faggot who obviously can't even value your existence then death is clearly the best solution for you. I genuinely hope you know how much of an inconvenience you're being for the poor sod who has to scrape you off the concrete and the policemen who will have to attend to you when they could be helping other people.
But I also hope you die fast. Rip fag
>>26683839
>But I also hope you die fast.
Well at least you care that much.
just troll my shit up senpai YOU GUYS JUST GUT PRANK'D
>>26683872
It would be inhuman of me to want him to suffer any more.
>>26683925
An hero
Originaru
>>26681549
Lol
Domo origato mr robot
>>26683944
J-john Belushi?
>>26681422
Check Cripplechan for more info on alt suicide methods and how to get Nembutal and Fenatyl, family
>>26683984
I'm not sure if it's him anon
Am I the only one who realizes op is not actually going to jump or kill himself in any way and this thread is a waste of time? I have thought about suicide countless times and I know how bad you have to feel to want such a thing, you don't just come here and ask silly things, you just want to dissappear.
Never ended myself cause there are still things I genuinely want to live for
>>26682277
>I saw how it greatly affected everyone around, both people he knew and even people it didn't.
every time someone says this i laugh. NO ONE will care if i died except my mom. all those people i've met? they won't even know i'm dead.
>>26684304
Of course
OP is screaming DO YOUR RESEARCH yet is stuck by a goddamn door
>>26682414
No you can't. Pills don't work for everyone. Weed worked for me for a while but stopped and backfired after a few years.
>>26682897
That's not something you can do in a day and takes a lot of hard work and dedication. Someone contemplating suicide is not gonna all of a sudden start a restaurant.
I'd suggest travelling or hitchhiking
>>26683130
I now wanna kill myself because they stopped making the 16:10 aspect ratio laptops screens that can use your wallpaper.
>>26683544
It's kinda neat though depending on wwhere you live it's probably illegal
>>26684304
Of course OP isn't serious, that much was clear from the start. People who are serious about killing themselves usually don't seek attention like this.
Also the 20 page suicide note was a giveaway. If you put in a bit of research you'll find that most suicide notes aren't longer than one or two sentences. I'd a 20 page note more of a manifest, which would imply OP would rather go out with a bang to bring as much attention to it as possible.
Do a flip on the way down
