>>26677094
it'd seem like a good deal if you're weren't some obviously creepy weirdo that'd kill me

>>26677094
This is tempting as fuck just for the Xans and alcohol. I'm not really gay, though.

>>26677177
i'm not though, why do u think that?

i make & sell counterfeit adderall & xanax so that's how u could get it free

>>26677190
eh i have a bottle of vodka in the freezer since whenever, i hate alcohol so you can have it.

>>26677094
What brand of cigarettes do you smoke

>>26677409
i roll my own, i buy tobacco by the pound [no additives]. if you want filtered cigs i can buy filters

op here, forgot to mention i have a car so i can drive you places for free as well

>>26677094
>>26677250

Tell me you're stupid. Type it out with your keyboard, and post it here for me to read.

>>26677502
real op here i need you to be in chains for at least 8 hours a day otherwise deals off

>>26677528
the only one that's "stupid" is any NEET roastie that won't take this wonderful deal

>tfw i would actually take this if i didn't have a bf
fucking damn iyt

>>26677685
is he long distance? if so it's fine, we don't have to actually have sex, that's for extra pay

>>26677685
shut up subway roastie

bumping for 3rd world peasant gf

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I'll do it if you make me feel like a girl. I'm good at cooking and cleaning too.

Will you be able to pay for me to get hormones and laser hair removal?

>>26678062
nah i'm not going to pay for that. i'm just lonely and too busy to be social. i could get a real gf this way just seems much more preferable at this point in my life. with work and lifting i am too exhausted to go out & meet people and i don't have social hobbies so i haven't met a gril since i was at uni

also i prefer to cook always, i am very autistic about my diet. but you can definitely clean for me

you sound like a lowlife POS already so you wouldn't be opposed to whoring us on webcam for added income, right?

>>26678196
if you want to do that while i'm at work u can use my pc, idgaf. you could work any job i'm just paying you to be my official snuggle buddy. we don't have to even have coitus but i do get to kiss your face and neck, but if you're not comfortable with lips that's ok

it's pretty much the best job for a neet female that i can think of, unless she already has a daddy bf

bumping out of desperation

please respond

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>>26677094
I can pass as a girl if you want. Do we have to have sex tho?

Are you white, OP?

>>26679636
no we don't.
kik? skype?

>>26679652
yes. 100% aryan - german, anglo, baltic

>>26679727
Oh man, this sounds like the perfect situation.
Would totally go for it if I don't get accepted into the uni of my choice

>>26679698
I'm confused though how does this make sense?

>>26677094
>any NEET
>only $150/mo will be taken out of your check for food/rent

How am I supposed to make money if I'm a NEET?

>>26679757
contact info?
i live 5 mins away from a public ivy also, ranked top 20 in the country. so u could go there and i'll do your homework too

>>26679764
i pay you $8 (min wage) for every hour i work my real job, about 6-7hrs a day now

also post contact info if you're interested i'm at work with 3% phone battery

>>26679779
Too poor for Ivy, and likely too dumb to be accepted

>>26679809
So you're gonna pay me to sit around your house and do nothing and give me drugs?
[email protected]

>>26679836
it's cheapo if you're a state resident. like $4k a semester

>>26679836
also there's a community college here u can go to then transfer

>>26679847
you have to sleep next to me and be female/passable

>>26679856
Which state, OP?

>>26679883
FL

phone is dying so post contact info guise & i'll be home in an hour

>>26679879
>you have to sleep next to me
Are you going to touch me?

> and be female/passable
I'm asian and the size of a girl, consider it done fampai

>>26680023
yes i will touch you but i won't stick anything inside until you beg for it

>>26679727
Why the fuck are you into traps and faggots then.
Jesus fuck OP have some decency, there is only 2% of us on this world and you want to waste your precious time, genes and (mental) health on degenerate borderline patients ?
Drop those shenanigans right now, you know you are making a big mistake and that you have been brainwashed by 4chan into thinking this is actually acceptable.

>>26680095
>yes i will touch you
Do i have to allow it? and is it gonna be lewd touching?

>until you beg for it
I'm straight though

>>26680123
fuck off faggot
this is temporary

>>26680183
your job title is literally snuggle buddy...

the primary purpose of the payment is for me to have someone to sleep next to

>>26680247
I'd be the trappiest trap if it pays well enough. but no gay shit right?

>>26680285
u must be passable.
phone is on 1% so post contact i'll msg you in 1hr

desu I would be willing to do this OP, but I am completely straight and have no intention of wearing womenos clothing. Also I live in DUDE WEED LMAO land

>>26680347
passable enough you wouldn't feel gay for fapping to me. here >>26679847

>>26680190
>>26680247

Still pathetic beyond believe.
You make good money, lift for health and aesthetics yet yearn so much for human contact that you actually think this is the most "pragmatic" way to satisfy your "needs".
It's just a sad fucking powerplay show fuelled by an unrealistic yearning for "cuddles". You could have spent the hours on /r9k/ talking to 25 cute single white girls in all kinds of places and see if you can develop a real relationship.
This wouldn't only give you your coveted "snuggling" but also the joy of being truly loved instead of being exploited/being the exploiter.
It's really fucking pathetic, insincere and contra productive if you would be honest to yourself and apply rational thinking.

>>26680351
>but I am completely straight
so am i
>have no intention of wearing womenos clothing
I'd do it if it meant a free ride.

>Also I live in DUDE WEED LMAO land
the addies make it worth it

>>26680415
fuck off faggot im poor and need this
>It's just a sad fucking powerplay
i wouldn't let him touch me like that

>>26680471
Ha get cucked you asian manlet.
Assemble iphones or study to become a chiropractor or something instead of being a useless parasite and wasting years of your life.
>I NEED THIS.
You fucking don't.

>>26680534
>Assemble iphones or study to become a chiropractor or something
suck my cock faggot
>instead of being a useless parasite and wasting years of your life.
Not like it matters when I'm already stuck paying off massive amounts of student debt with near minimum wage. I have to work too many hours to support myself and physically don't have the time to go back to school.

>>26680649
Have you considered suicide ? There are arond 2 billion more of you and it seems liek you are not going to be of much use anyway.
Please leave to asiastan and be a waste of time, money and oxygen there. Seems like you are also doing your hardest to disprove the asian=learner stereotype by showing that you definitely do not learn from avoidable and incredibly stupid mistakes. Now get out before we make you get out, you parasite.

>>26681050
>showing that you definitely do not learn from avoidable and incredibly stupid mistakes.
>going to college was a mistake

>Now get out before we make you get out, you parasite.
stay mad /pol/friend :^)

>>26681170
>spends years in college while getting in massive debt without having a job lined up/ being capable of finding one.
>spends time crying on the internet instead of finding a job, most likely votes left because it will give him access to bennies more easily.
>Does not see the connection between these mistakes and now actually begging to be the cuddle buddy of a complete stranger for counterfeit xanax and cigarettes.
>The connection is you are a fucking retard with 0 (zero) capability to plan or insight. Willing to waste more time that does nothing to solve your problems.

You know why I take your "/pol/friend" thing as a compliment. Because I am the polar opposite of you. And I am working 60 hours a week as a politician to spread pride and awareness in my local area, while simulteanously working myself up. I am your antithesis and I am fighting for good things. You are my enemy and you are worthless. My future will only become brighter as sentiments change and yours will feature an episode in which you are being shipped away after profiting so arrogantly and stupidly from a system your hosts built and so kindly provdided.

>>26681512
>>spends time crying on the internet instead of finding a job, most likely votes left because it will give him access to bennies more easily.
>voting

>now actually begging to be the cuddle buddy of a complete stranger for counterfeit xanax and cigarettes.
It's like a third job with random perks for me how can i say no? I already work 2 jobs amounted to 60-70 hrs/wk to keep a roof over my head. I do take solace in not being one of those types of people that tries to make themselves out to be better the other people over the internet on ukranian shotputting forums.

OP here. This is just a troll thread. How stupid/pathetic do you have to be to think otherwise? KEK

>>26681512
so much euphoria

>>26681770
fuck off

real OP here, just got back from work

>>26680415
>You make good money, lift for health and aesthetics yet yearn so much for human contact that you actually think this is the most "pragmatic" way to satisfy your "needs".
i have *literally* no use for the extra monopoly money i make that doesn't go to food, rent, drugs, and gas.
it is WORTHLESS paper to me, so why not use it for something that will give me happiness? how is this more pathetic than someone buying a $5000 boat or something just to drive around in the water doing nothing productive?

>It's just a sad fucking powerplay show fuelled by an unrealistic yearning for "cuddles". You could have spent the hours on /r9k/ talking to 25 cute single white girls in all kinds of places and see if you can develop a real relationship.
actually i couldn't have, because i was at work when i made this thread. i just got home and i'm going to cook, then go to the gym, then come home and cook. by then it will be 9pm, i have to sleep at midnight.

i don't have time to be social, and i'm apparently not chaddy enough to get lucky with tinder. plus i have no hobbies that involve socializing with girls, so i would have to go out to clubs/bars and i really don't feel like going through with all that shit. then to *finally* get the girl to the point in which she's sleeping in my bed every night i would have to woo her for weeks/months/over a year. it's much easier to just pay with this useless monopoly money i have.

>This wouldn't only give you your coveted "snuggling" but also the joy of being truly loved instead of being exploited/being the exploiter.
who says love can't develop from a monetary relationship? my boss hired a qt and they're dating now.

>It's really fucking pathetic, insincere and contra productive if you would be honest to yourself and apply rational thinking.
don't really think so. fuck off faggot, you can't name ONE BETTER USE for my money
inb4
>donate to charity

>>26679847
i emailed u