Might any of you be able to talk about your experiences with Borderline Personality Disorder? I fear I might have it and I'd really like to hear about it from the perspective of someone who was diagnosed with it.
Also general mental illness thread.
Thank you
Dated a few girls who were borderline. They're psycho bitches. 0/10 would not wish on my enemies.
>>26660861
Would you be able to elaborate perhaps?
>>26660685
describe your self anon plz
im scared that i may have something like this, i hope its just because i was "ODD" when i was a kid or depression
Any schizos here?
>>26660950
BPD is the normal basic bitch female personality type dialed up to 10000, generally because a girl got treated like a princess when she was little, and nobody ever beat the everloving shit out of her when she did wrong.
It generally resembles sociopathy, narcicissm, and extreme self-destructive tendencies.
It's not just restricted to women, but it's more common. Men that have it tend to be, like....the /r9k/ proto-Elliot type.
I'm scared that I'm bi-polar desu
Should be getting in with a shrink soon though, I'm on a list.
But I have some of the signs of it, but I'm unsure if those symptoms are because of mania/depression, or just regular mood fluctuations.
I also have the worst image issues. Literally can't look in a mirror without crying.
Just get on that sweet pill train and let your mind become pudding. Its not like you're depressed for a reason. Don't worry! Everything is fine, nothing to worry about, my doctor told me so!
>>26662256
Explain what your manic state is like, fake psychiatrist here.
Considering how many autistic retards use 4chan now, I'm not surprised you made this beat thread
Whining about your own mental illness (most of which are self-diagnosed) is the most feminine bitchy thing a man can do. Just keep it to yourself if you're depressed :((
>>26662584
>little-no sleep
>Binges (food, drugs, alcohol)
>Heightened mood, ridiculously happy, energetic, and outgoing
the cure for every mental illness is a bullet right to the head
>>26662740
Hmm. Probably something else, that's normal. Just stay clean bitch boy.
>>26662787
Hmmm... No. Cure for every mental illness have been proven to be a bullet to head
I've been diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety, which technically makes me mentally ill, but I don't feel like I can really identify that way. Anyone know this feel?
>too crazy for normal people
>not crazy enough for the true psychos
This is weird and everyone can immediately dismiss me as being a shit but if anyone here considers themselves too mentally ill to have a long-term friendship or a stable friendship I will be your friend. I never run away from crazy or anything and I'm usually a somewhat stabilizing force for people. I'm thoughtful and caring. All I want is someone to care for and to be friends with. Literally other than being very mentally ill the only requirement is having two x chromosomes, men terrify me unfortunately.
[email protected]
if anyone is interested. We can trade skypes after sending a few emails.
>>26662740
As a bipolar guy that sounds about right. Sorry, man. Go to a professional, get a diagnosis, start some pills. They don't even close to fix it but they can help. After six years of treatment I can say I live a manageable life.
>>26662833
the cure for depression is shotgun mouthwash
>>26662810
Don't worry, once he joins dat sweet sweet pill train it will be too late for him to realize that the final destination was suicide via sheckleberg. Ty pill companies
>>26662867
Maybe he read the symptoms online and then did some mental gymnastics to make him think that he fits the bill perfectly in order to make himself have a problem of substance instead of realizing that everyone is suffering the same terrible existence?
>>26662920
I'd like to add that anyone can get a diagnosis because they write the DSM-V criteria to be as vague as possible (for the pill money ofc).
>>26662846
>two x chromosomes
are you a girl or a guy
>recently started Wellbutrin XL
>still feel heart pounding in my chest, hearbeat throughout my body, if anything it got louder
>anxiety is somewhat numbed, depressive thoughts somewhat numbed
Third day today. Theyre trying to see if I'll go manic. Any tips for this shit? For calming down?
>>26662987
I'm a guy but all my friends are girls, most people view me as being a-gendered or something desu I think. I get along a lot better with women than men.
>>26662991
>anxiety numbed
>depression numbed
>brain numbed
>life numbed
I used to take wellbutrin and then I realized that I was a robot, a walking cash cow. Please, wake up dummy.
If you live with your mom then just pretend to take them
>>26663046
What the heck is your problem
A lot of things to be honest. I haven't had a proper diagnosis in a long time. Been avoiding going since I've been stable lately. I'd say really my main probably is just loneliness right now. Trouble adjusting to non-NEET life. Things like that.Oops on that trip. I'm only supposed to have that on when I'm being stupid
>>26663135
>trip
>scared of men
>no diagnosis
Stage V autism
>>26663156
No no, I have diagnoses. They're just not recent. Autism was ruled out though, unfortunately. I have a personality disorder instead which is more of a meme than autism desu.
>>26660685
BPD is a made up label, unless you're a woman, in which case stay the FUCK away from me.
>>26663195
Self-fellating self-pity egocentrism in the form of a cloak of mental illnesses that serve as a "personality" to explain away your failures as a human.
>>26663261
You probs have some form of malignant anti-social personality disorder, aka sociopath.
t. sleepy student
>>26663261
I admitted that personality disorders were a meme though anon. I'm not really any more ego-centric than anyone else. I don't pity myself really. I know what my problems are and how to fix them. I'm working on them. My problems are mostly my fault anyway and just general lack of knowledge. You're just being mean to be mean at this point. I'm a bad target for it though, it's not working.
>>26663197
It's a real issue. I have a friend with BPD and she's wonderful though. I know it's hard to deal with but it's a lot worse for the people who actually have it you know. A bit of compassion and empathy goes a long way.
>>26663278
actually I'm a schizophrenic
>>26663301
How is your BPD friend wonderful? I only hear bad things about them. Tell me about her bad traits too
I know that this isn't a thread for bragging, but I struggle with anxiety, and talking on the phone is something I usually completely fuck up. I'd been applying for a job for a while now, and a place just called me today and wanted to talk to me! I managed to sound like a normal human being and they actually want me to come in for an interview. I'm so excited.
>>26662991
This might not help since it's just what works for me, but I like to put my headphones on, curl up under my electric blanket and daydream an entire story or adventure revolving around a made-up character. I pick music that matches the story and everything. It really helps to push the panic out.
>>26663306
you can have both
Anti-social PD is a creation, not a deviation of normality
>>26663367
She can lose it sometimes. Get angry, misunderstand things, freak out on me and decide that she's hates me.
But she's aware of how she is. She's usually very loving and sweet and does her best to be a good friend and watch out for me. She apologizes after her, I guess episodes? I'm not sure what to call them.
I haven't heard from her in a long time, that's another bad thing. Sometimes she just disappears. It's been a while and I'm worried but she always pops up again. It's a roller coaster but I mean, people with bpd are human too you know? They're not all the same. They have some similarities the same way people with depression all have some traits in common. Some people can't handle being friends with mentally ill people, or people with certain mental illnesses. But, I think if you just keep some compassion and you remember "they're trying, they're just sick" when they blow up or freak out or do crazy shit I think that helps a lot. I have psychotic episodes sometimes (not in a long time I guess but I used to) and my friends then would try to calm me down and they were kind and they didn't get mad at me for being crazy and that helped a lot. Compassion is a really wonderful thing to have and to get from someone.
>>26663306
I'm on the spectrum. Are you paranoid or disorganized or what? I'm not super up to date on schizophrenia anymore these days but I remember a bit of it. I dated a girl with disorganized schizophrenia once. I miss her, I wish we were still friends.If you're around, I understand that you need to be alone it's cool. I'm always floating around somewhere if you need a friend tho, you're always welcome here
Is there something wrong with wanting to break from reality? I hate my life and who I am. Why can't I just fantasize, delude, and hallucinate myself into a happier world?
>>26663452
I don't need more imaginary labels to invalidate my opinions. I don't know what antisocial PD is but I'm antisocial because of hallucinations/delusions make it hard to interact with people. I don't tell people so I just seem like a dick
anyone here with bipolar that's prescribed benzos? I also have anxiety, but the psychs i've seen flat out refuse to prescribe it.
>>26663478
not diagnosed I have to see a doctor on the 24th. Honestly just realizing I might have this cured 99% of the delusions. I went around for a year thinking people could read my minds and I assaulted people, talked to voices in my head, but no one thought anything was wrong because I was a druggy. Guess Ill find out whats up on the 24th
>>26663518
I think everyone needs a healthy amount of escapism to function. However, if you're this unhappy with the way your life is going, I'd try to improve whatever doesn't sit well with you.
>>26663586
I used to think that people could read my mind too. I never assaulted anyone though. Cameras behind mirrors, aliens outside my window, people calling my name, being watched, etc. I had a lot of delusions. I'm on the schizophrenic spectrum but I'm not actually schizophrenic. Meds can help a lot but I really advise going through therapy if you can. Therapy plus meds let me get to where I am now, and I don't need meds anymore.
My tinnitus makes me schizo. My right ear is just ringing but the left plays a melody of sorts and it makes me hear things.
>tfw can't sleep at night
>>26660861
I'm a god damn sucker for BPD chicks, it's not funny. And I mean, it's not funny. It's that wild emotional lability that gets me...
>>26663616
hold up. youre on the schizo spectrum but youre not a schizo. dafuq
>>26663616
I feel like nobody understands what schizophrenic type stuff is its too bizarre, it sounds silly when you explain it but the delusions are so fucked and weird and complicated
>>26663518
schizophrenia isn't fun its like being haunted by ghosts of loved ones trying to castrate you (imagine this is reality) also everyone is a liar and you cant even watch tv because everyone is talking in codes about your personal life trying to kill you via apathetic bullying
>>26663649
What my shrink said anyway. I have a lot of schizophrenic traits but I don't qualify for schizophrenia? Or schizotypal. The way I understand it, and I'm probably wrong, is that there's a spectrum with normal on one side and schizophrenic on the other and I'm close to but not on the schizophrenic side? I have no idea. I have a lot of psychotic symptoms but I also have a lot of the non-psychotic schizophrenic stuff (anhedonia, isolationism, stuff like that. Negative symptoms I think they're called?)
>>26662740
Seconded. You can tell it's mania when you think everything is great while everyone around you thinks you're a cunt. Don't look at the symptoms and go "I do that", just think if you do any of those things to an *abnormal degree*.
Episodes last about 6 months, just sayin.
Take lithium or valproate.
>>26662867
Try 12 years bich nga. It's up and down, predictably. More down than up; seems like it's been getting worse over the years.
>>26662846
>mental illness dating ad
go fuck yourself desu
>>26663701
Do you hallucinate? That shit makes it hard to act normal, people will say, "I want a turkey club sandwich" and Ill hear, "I (me) want to fuck me allahu akabr (his mother)" or something like that and I just wait a second to understand what he said looking like a dick with a blank face.
>>26663710
Uh, I'm looking for a friend. More specifically I'm looking for a best friend. I'm not looking to date. Like I said in the post, I know it sounds weird and gross. I can bring in character references if anyone desperately needs those I guess? But truly just looking for a platonic friendship anon.
>>26663689
No one understands it until they experience it. People can kinda get it. Like, my dad is a normie but he kind of understands how it is for me. Sometimes 1+1 just comes up 3 for me and I can't fix it. And yeah even the silly stuff is real enough that it's not silly. Like, I thought there was a giant alien outside my window once just kind of chilling I guess. And that's hilarious in retrospect but at the time I was freaked out. In the moment it's amazingly vivid and terrifying.
>>26663761
Too many weird things to count I've forgotten more than I can remember. I thought I was being brainwashed outside my window ofc my my friend who was there to be gay, so I ran outside and and hit him, completely justified in my book because I was just a victim pushed too far, but in his world I just ran out of the house and attacked him unprovoked. I kind of miss when I was jesus-modo it was too much love. Also I only saw a UFO once for all my praying to Ashtar, still waiting to get beamed up.
>>26663740
Not as much anymore. I get stress induced hallucinations mostly.
Sometimes I hear people calling my name but only when there's a lot of noise around me. I misunderstand people a lot or just can't parse language. I do this thing where I repeat things back to people. "Anon I need you to open on register 4" "You want me to open on 4?" just so I'm sure I got it right. Sometimes I get things very very wrong. I can't remember a good example but I'll mess things up pretty nicely. Sometimes I think people are insulting me or are mad at me for no reason. My manager asked me to vacuum and even though she asked normally it sounded like she was very angry at me and I was confused for a while until I realized that I had just misinterpreted her tone. I don't know if that counts as a hallucination, not really I guess, but it falls in with my general inability to understand language at times.
Sometimes I see bugs and stuff, movement from the corner of my eye. My favorite is when I don't see things. Sometimes I just don't see limbs. People look like they're amputees for a second or two. Again though, stress based (which is always when I'm working lmao).
>>26663821
See, those are a lot more formed than any of mine were. They're more complex. I think that's why I never got the schizophrenia diagnosis. I can understand how that feels though and I know it's awful. Did your friend attempt to understand? Or did he just get angry about it?
schizo here, life is hell.
>>26663889
how much seroquel do you take every day?
>>26663925
not much, the seroquel is for my anxiety, im on 300mg of abilify as well as 2mg of ativan for sleeping
>>26663925
monthly injections because my body was reacting too strongly to the pills. the Abilify kinda works but I'm still paranoid about alot of things, but that's just my OCD being amplified by anxiety
>>26663960
shouldn't it be ativan for anxiety and seroquel for sleeping? I take about 100mg of seroqeul a night. that shit knocks me out
>>26663854
Thanks for understanding, I repeat things back to people a lot, there was a period for 3 months where I couldn't speak at all, like I have no mouth but I must scream style. And he cried atm but we are friends now, although not close by any means anymore. I always see my animals around the house, I hallucinate voices sometimes, I see dots flying everywhere, auras and energy, sometimes I get tactile hallucinations which are weird, like one time I thought my dad shot a kamehame wave at me the size of a bullet and it went through my head and I was so shaken up I was shaking. One time I got my stomach electrocuted by a blackman wizard, sometimes I feel the hands. when I'm about to sleep and when I wake up though, all hell breaks loose, total confusion, people trying to kill me, rape me. I have no feelings except occasional psycho anger
>>26663889
literally!
>>26664005
you're right, but the ativan stops my legs from shaking (side effect of the ativan) and the seroquels numbs me down when im too anxious it works wonders as I dont feel a thing.
>tfw lesbian porn stopped turning me on
>tfw officially gay
>tfw doctors refuse to treat my mental illness
>>26664005
it doesnt knock me out, but it just numbs me down, my mom thinks im ''buzzed'' when I'm on it.
>>26664009
my delusions were that there were ghosts everywhere and that made me anxious. I'm also very paranoid, cant have people looking at me so when I go outside its sunglasses and hoodie errytime.
>>26664009
Is no problem.
That's a lot worse than anything I went through though. Geez. I mean, I can understand all of that because I've definitely gotten all of that but in like baby form you know?
I used to have this delusion that my dad was going to kill me when I was in the shower. That he'd shoot me through the curtain with a shotgun. I could really vividly see myself getting shot. Not a hallucination just a delusion.
I get dreams about being raped a lot. I'm not sure why.
My emotions are blunted, I'm working very hard on this though. I also have an almost complete inability to describe my emotions beyond just "I'm happy, I guess?" and stuff like that. Emotions are the hardest thing in my life.
Do you feel pain in your dreams? Or do you dream at all? I feel pain in mine.You can email me if you want. I guess you're probably a guy and that means it might not work out well but idk you seem ok I think I like how you write but. If you want a friend you can email me if you want. [email protected]
only if you want. I'm gonna sleep soon though.
>>26664112
Dads and Moms are key to the psycho experience, my mom sexually embarrassing me and dad trying to kill me happened to me too, I'm fine now I'm just being whiny, and luckily I spent so long fucked up on drugs I was used to the altered state experience sort of.
>>26663889
Here you go let the rap ping pong your brain around waves of psychic defense
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRWdaH2ZbkU
>>26664171
cant stand rap for some reason but thanks anyways
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19ZdAZO9FvU&index=53&list=PLshy3LVwlOsL_hiCWX0w4sMXO-LinmsPM
>>26664205
Rap just fucks with the audio hallucinations for me so I understand, if you're trying to go crazy its only fun if you're in brain game mode but sense you realize you're insane I guess there's no point
>>26664171
It's funny. My parents never did anything other than not pay enough attention to me as a kid. And yet here I am! But yeah. I agree.I used to do the drug thing too. Glad that's done and over with desu
>>26662096
I experience derealization everyday, and sometimes don't trust myself and fear that I'm going crazy. Is that how your schizophrenia started out family? I really don't want to have schizophrenia.
>>26664241
Acid + tramadol + xanax + alcohol + weed is what triggered it. Was a crazy trip though
I think I'm a latent schizo that's gotten lucky enough to not have serious problems.
Often right after I wake up I see blocks of letters and numbers scrolling past my visual field like I'm some kind of computer simulation.
For a while I had poltergeist problems and I'm still not convinced that wasn't real.
>>26664280
you may be experiencing psychosis, get checked, thats all there's to it familio. I thought my behavior was normal until I showed up to a shrink.
>>26664283
speed nights did it for me, I think that's a major trigger in me being a schizo.
>>26664280
For me this is how it went: I did acid, and realized that things were different all of a sudden, and I started to have strong spiritual experiences. I was an atheist and I did a 180 and started studying occult stuff non stop, thinking I had healing powers, seeing auras, I was "special" (I thought I achieved enlightenment) and things of that sort. 3 months later (this is kind of a blur) I realized that people could read my thoughts, which led into mind control, mutism and the "voices" which isn't like what people always think. Its more like people are saying things under their words like a code, or they are talking to you even though technically they aren't. fast forward a year later and I was doing DXM every day to save my brother from dying in a car crash in the future and I jogged to the grocery high and I saw this tottally non-psychic guy with the words "YOU ARE A SLAVE" who wouldn't react to my thoughts in any way and I jogged home and some how I talked to my dad, and I was all like "soo, you don't hear voices?" and I found out I'm fucking nuts.
>>26664321
Thats the thing, you have no idea what you're thinking is weird hard to explain but the word is deluded. Any weird new ideas you've come up with or read about recently?
>>26664420
nothing too much out of the ordinary (medication is working wonder) life is really boring when the meds are working, I feel alone like there is no noise, no creatures of the night spying on me, nothing. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks life is boring as hell. I still cant go outside or I get super anxious (wont call them panic attacks but meh) I've been neet for 7 months now. Life is hell
>>26664495
Never been on the meds before, not looking forward to it from what I hear about it. But I think that I may just not take them like schizos are known to do. Fuck medication check this shit out bruddah:
http://sentimentalcorp.org/eyes_of_randy_prozac/eye_1/eye_1.html
>>26664544>>26664544
>http://sentimentalcorp.org/eyes_of_randy_prozac/eye_1/eye_1.html
I feel connected to it somehow, like its all true. So wierd.
>>26664544
I cant understand a word he says but at the same time I do, its so wierd, where did you find this?
>>26664607
the song that starts with blowjob something; story of my life dude. All of that guys shit is awesome entertainment for schizos, I've been preaching his political message for years before I found him and I was like finally a guy who understands. The reason /r9k/ exists imo is institutional brainwashing + xenoestrogenic poisoning. ITS TOO LATE
>>26664673
/x/ ofc, check out the rest of the website
>>26662846
>bait
or
>codependent personality disorder looking to be cucked
Goodnight thread. I hope everyone has a good night. And anyone who wants a friend and thinks this post sounds good
>>26662846
Just give me an email and I'll write you in the morning!
>>26664722
Not bait. Maybe codependent though that's not in the dsm anymore is it? Not looking to be cucked though. Friends can't cuck each other. If I was looking to date I would say "looking to date" or "Looking for a friend that might turn into something else" I am strictly looking for a friend right now. I'm not ready to date at the moment and probably won't be for a while. I am real and genuine though.
Diagnose bipolar here. I actually like it now that I'm on pills. I get occasional manic days, and even at my lowest now I don't even feel like killing myself. Went untreated for 20 years, hard to believe this is closer to what normal life feels like. Can understand now why normies don't understand our misery.
>>26664607
Also he uses biaural beats to brainwash you
http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect2=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&p=1&u=/netahtml/PTO/search-bool.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&d=PALL&RefSrch=yes&Query=PN/5159703
It's a long story but
Abusive father, calus ma combined older siblings bailing from a broken green card marriage while I was 6 with a facial protwine stain birth mark caused me to not understand how to form healthy relationships.
I I become a angsty teen that yeans for "true" virginal love. I find it but am too lacking in self esteem too believe I could find such a thing. Insecurity and cheating accusations followed by passionate reconciliations follow, exhausting my amor.
I get kicked out of my home, find a part time job where my boss is a certified psychopathic sexual predator that grooms vulnerable young men (you're most likely a emotionally vulnerable male during your teens) into sexually exploitive relationships.
Basically he was a cult leader in many ways.
>>26663649
schizoid and schizotopal are both things.
>>26663709
depends on type 1 or type 2 bipolar i thought
>>26664754
sorry
dealing with my own codependency issues
http://sentimentalcorp.org/eyes_of_randy_prozac/eye_2/eye_2.html
skip to 7:45 and listen to the pill song, he makes good points!
>>26664778
its really fucked up, this guy must'n be on his pills
>>26664805
He grooms and molested me in my teen years. I escape. My amor is still with me supporting me. I have a anxiety attack and a identity crisis and go to therapy while I sue the prick.
I feel the worst pain I never thought possible.
She stands by me and I realise through therapy I never thought my self worthy of love and couldn't accept someone loved me so I was vulnerable to a person manipulating me into acts.
I sued and settle out of court and gained a understanding of myself. I believe myself unworthy and it makes me vulnerable.
I am worthy.
And drunk
>>26660685
hi OP I'm diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, I can answer questions probably.
>>26662128
>generally because a girl got treated like a princess when she was little, and nobody ever beat the everloving shit out of her when she did wrong.
my parents beat me relentlessly and threw me out of the house at 15.
>>26664880
you are worthy
and drunk!
>>26660685
I got diagnosed with type 1 bipolar but I probably have something else, not that I care anyways. My mood has been in an all time low and I'm sure I can see the future.
>>26664902
are you a girl or a guy? I've never met any guys with it
When I was little I was diagnosed with ADHD and all it did was make me a depressed drugs addict. Fuck Psychiatry
>>26664924
I am a girl of course
it's a 75% female illness.
although, my first ever boyfriend had it. we only dated two months before he went insane, jumped in the river butt-naked in front of my friends, then decided he was transsexual and started wearing makeup and taking hormones.
>>26664993
Hmm I wonder why....
>>26664993
how do you deal with it? are there medications?
>>26664993
did you make life changing decisions based on your illness, I mean like: buying a house, a car, maxing credit cards etc?
>>26660685
Brandon Marshall of the New York Jets is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and he does a lot for raising awareness for mental illness and idk how often he does this or if he does it at all but I'd be willing to bet if you reached out to him there's a chance he'll genuinely get back to you and give you advice on seeking proper treatment.
are there any symptoms that are particularly indicative of schitzophrenia? I'm worried that i'm showing early signs of it. I have already looked through the list in the link below and i just want to know if there are any that stick out as being common in all cases of schitzophrenia.
http://schizophrenia.com/earlysigns.htm
Also, it wasn't me who even noticed that there was anything wrong with me; one day my friend asked me what was wrong because i wasn't blinking, i couldn't make eye contact with anyone, i kept looking around me and jumping at every little sound, i was taking everything she said 100% literally even if it was a joke, and i kept going quiet and staring into space. She thought i was on drugs and it took a lot of convincing to make her think otherwise.
>>26664993
so how are you self destructive? aside from dating other bpd people.
>>26665145
it might be it, go see a shrink or a psychiatrist. what were you seeing while you were in 'transe'?
my sister has it lol
>>26665023
my doctor won't look into putting me on new medications because I already take five prescription medications for anxiety and depression. he wants to get the depression in order first because I keep trying to kill myself (and then getting scared and calling for help).
>>26665035
it makes you do things you didn't want to do or later find reprehensible. yes I've struggled with a credit card but luckily I only had one with a relatively low limit ($500). it's hard to know what things you do because of the illness or what you do on your own. it's a relatively new diagnosis (Nov 2015) so I'm still working out separating what is really me from what is irrational, angry behavior.
things I have done that are well-known indicators of BPD include lots of cutting, drunk and otherwise reckless driving, substance abuse (anything I can get), suicidal ideations and behaviors, extreme binge eating.
I also have severe dissociative symptoms such as confusing real life with dreams or video games, feeling as if I'm observing myself as a third party, and hallucinations.
>>26665009
whatchu wonder, familia?
>>26665176
the walls were moving like they were on rails and i kept seeing yellow clouds floating past.
Also noises seemed really intense
that "episode" was only a few months ago and its happened to that intensity since then, but that feeling has been present at a lower intesity constantly
>>26665170
self harm, mostly cutting but I've also burned myself and punch myself too, I've had three suicide attempts (two cutting, one pills), also reckless shit like drugs and alcohol in unsafe places and binge eating.
>>26665145
I wrote a post here: >>26664420
about how I came down with it. It was very sudden. I'd say a key symptom (do not self diagnose) is that you are hearing what I would call "words within words" or like you always hear a word and your mind picks out a similar sounding one so someone says no, and you hear "know"
ask me anything
>>26665243
you should realy talk about it to a professional familio
>>26665264
I honestly don't think i could self diagnose; i don't trust myself enough (along with the fact that self diagnosis is incredably stupid)
I sometimes get a feeling when i walk outside that i'm in a video game or a movie. I just feel completely detached from reality, like i'm an observer of everything. Is this common in schitzophrenia or is it normal?
>>26664807
Yeah type I gets the lithium or valproate I guess, but to be honest anti-depressants don't work and anti-psychotics are overkill monster sledgehammers, so what really levels you out are the mood stabilisers. Doesn't really do much for the depression, but they keep you out of those mixed states.
Mixed states are fucking trouble, and basically suicide waiting to happen.
Oh, and I forgot Lamictal. Shit is golden.I'm type I though, got a lot of this shit in hospital, so your psychiatrist may not think you need everything
Extreme social anxiety.
I haven't had a friend in almost 10 years. My only job I ran away from after a few days on the job because a co-worker (innocently) said a joke about how much I was sweating. Anytime I think about working anywhere else I start thinking about how I'd have to talk to people and it makes my throat close up a little and hard to breathe. I'll be 27 this year. What am I supposed to do.
>>26665275
do you think i should talk to a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist
>>26665329
I feel just like that and im schizo, except im paranoid, so yea maybe senpai.
>>26665329
I've had a lot of similar feelings when I was younger, just watching a movie of myself doing things, the act of observing yourself gets skewed and psychadelic and in schizophrenia the "you" observing yourself becomes externall and someone or something else entirely. When I was at my worst it was my neighbors haunting me. I had attention problems all my life and I was isolated and depressed, I daydreamed instead of paying attention but that could apply to a lot of people. Schizo time didnt kick in til I was 21 and it was a blatant change and I was completely deluded. Sometimes people would tell me I was a schizo based on the crazy shit I would talk about and I was like "yeah probably" but it never really clicked in my mind until way later. Delusions are really hard to describe, but you are deluded into believing this crazy spider like conspiracy in order to incorporate your delusions into your reality.
>>26665379
psychologist definitely
psychiatrists are very expensive and you should usually only see one if you have a diagnosis.
therapists are bullshit feelgood memers for normie-tier problems. they're basically someone you pay to listen to you complain and then they barf out some normie advice that doesn't really help.
>>26665379
psychiatrist of course, he can prescribe meds for you!
>>26665429
>therapists are bullshit feelgood memers for normie-tier problems
topkek
>>26665246
>>26665196
there seems to be a lot of overlap with mania-your shrink give you a reason how bpd is different?
>>26665409
I'm also very paranoid; i have friends who i could talk about this with but i don't trust them eneough not to use the information against me, which is why i'm talking about it with strangers on a mongolian clay pot forum.
>>26665425
Throughout my life i've had problems paying attention but its not like i'm being distracted by the outside world i just get lost in my thoughts
>>26665429
Price doesn't really matter; i live in a country with free healthcare
Is there anything else that puts a psychologist over a psychiatrist
>>26665530
>I'm also very paranoid; i have friends who i could talk about this with but i don't trust them eneough not to use the information against me, which is why i'm talking about it with strangers on a mongolian clay pot forum.
dont talk about it to friends, keep it to yourself, normies will never understand.
>>26665379
>therapist
wat
what does "therapist" mean. what is their job
Anyway, the semi-normie routine is psychologist first. Then they give you a referral letter for a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist then pisses on the letter and gives you the correct diagnosis. You get drugs, and then with a complete lack of irony he bitches at you about not going back to the psychologist.
Psychologists are pretty word-of-mouth, but your physician can usually help you out. Usually he'll give you something for the pain (benzos, hooray!), and send you off to whoever you need to see.
HOWEVER, I will bet what passes for my testicles that as soon as you tell your physician those symptoms, he'll send you to a psychiatrist emergency appointment style. If you are showing symptoms as sever as you were a few months ago, you will get booked on the spot. Welcome to the wonderful world of anti-psychotics, son. The world is quiet again.
Anyway, visual disturbances and catatonia are gonna be part of a psychotic disorder, one way or another. I'm sorry, anon.Hope them voices not hitting you too hard
>>26665530
Being a psychotic schizo on 4chan is like every post is about you and what you are doing right when you read it. Collective unconsciousness is a good way to describe the feeling that everyone is actually you and experiencing the same phenomena. Do you mind me asking how old you are?
>>26665530
>Is there anything else that puts a psychologist over a psychiatrist
a psychologist studies more based on the 'therapy' side of things and can help you with REBT, CBT, other kinds of things that help you rewire your circuits so you are able to function.
a psychiatrist studies more on the medicinal and physiological side of things and usually works with a psychologist to prescribe medicine to you.
>>26665580
My friends aren't normies
Actually when i say "friends" there is only one of my friends that i have ever even hinted at this to and she's far from a normie (she's in therapy but never really goes into detail as to why)
>>26665605
i've just turned 18
>>26665601
i don't even really hear voices apart from when i'm about to fall asleep
>>26665610
desu i'll probably just get whatever my gp gives me
>>26665649
sorry, as someone with no friends whatsoever I assume friends are always normie....sucks
>>26665489
it's a lot different, people with mania are talkative, active, hyper. their behaviors stem from having a lot of energy and not a lot of focus.
people with BPD have a high comorbidity rate of depression and anxiety. their behaviors come from intense and uncontrollable mood swings, which is the biggest symptom of BPD - very pronounced emotional extremes within hours or days of each other, and usually for no reason. in this way it is not like bipolar disorder either because bipolar mood swings last over several months to years.
>>26665688
Hypnogogic (while falling asleep/ waking up) hallucinations are normal for a lot of people.
i got a friend who sometimes have huge autism attacks, the funny thing is that he's a big guy and it's kinda hard to stop him
>>26665766
>autism attacks
lolwut
>>26665784
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4PTf7LgsIE
like this
>>26665784
They go NYYAAAHH DURAGAHH and start flailing and trying to kill people
someone start posting those videos they are pure gold
>>26665830
>>26665861
That's only low functioning autism though
>>26665688
God damn it anon, I'm exactly the same. If you are still hearing them, you need to get booked it. It's what happened to me, anyway.
>>26665948
Naw dog let him see how far the gnostic-rabbit hole goes.
>>26665766
For you.This comment is not original
Advice for Borderline Folks: Try and notice when you are emotionally guarded and/or vulnerable. Acknowledge the feeling and try to relax and tell yourself why it's good to let people in or why you're significant other isn't cheating on you. Don't spy on them, don't play games to get information from them, don't do anything. If someone is going to betray you, they're going to betray you. Don't bother worrying about it and mentally prepare yourself to deal with being depressed for awhile if things go badly. Deal with your depression or numb it with something that will not have an adverse effect on your health or interpersonal relationships.
Expect the best and remain prepared for the worst. Remember: The worst always passes and wounds always heal with time.
>>26667122
This sounds like some pussy shit
>>26667122
>advice for borderline people:
>notice when you're overreacting and then just don't
>don't feel unnecessary feelings of abandonment
well shit thanks for the groundbreaking advice
fucking sherlock over here guys
I am attracted to children. Saw a cute four year old today. She smiled at me. It was sweet, and probably the highlight of my year so far. This is what it's come to.
The fact that the a toddler smiling at me, and that I spent the trip home daydreaming about our life together, and that I cry-fapped to some of those earlier today, makes me want to kill myself. I don't want to get help or any shit like that. I told myself when I was 15 that if I was still a pedo when I was 20, then I would do it. That came and went, and I changed it to 25. I wish I hadn't. That's less than six months away, but I don't see any value in waiting. I just want to stop being me.
>>26667616
If you wanted to change you should stop browsing this den of pedophiles.
here are your options
1.) Kill yourself
2.) Go to a doctor and get chemically castrated/put on a watch list
3.) Castrate Yourself
4.) Do it and go to jail to live with guilt (clearly you have a conscious) and anal rape for enternity
You realize you are in an echo chamber eternally exacerbating and normalizing these thoughts which you do not want in the first place. Yeah sometimes underage girls are sexy (see that I can type that because I'm on 4chan) but never act on it you tubby dumb shit. All I'm saying is that you are IN PAIN from your urges you need to remove yourself from the chon, delete you're loli pics, your secret stash of CP and for the love of god never tell anyone about this ever. Especially not a psychiatrist. Other pedos will only rationalize your behavior.
>>26667737
Also as an exercise try to picture what it would ACTUALLY be like to rape a child. Not one of your, "omg its so tight loli with the brain of a 16 year old" fantasies, like an actual rape. It would be so violent and horrible, that if you have a single brain cell not infected by social isolation pseudo-autism you should be able to see why people hate pedos so much by using your imagination
>i.e. SHUT UP BITCH
>followed by tears and blood
>followed by you are now the worst person in all of society by most people's metrics
>b-but I can't stop!
well, try jacking it to legal girls role playing as school girls, that's socially acceptable
I know you guys are just gonna call me edgy, but I'm actually some kind of APD (sociopath/psychopath). I've been basically diagnosed (Psychologist told me she should either diagnose me with it or I had to gtfo because beating around the bush was non-productive, I chose #2), except I don't fit neatly into either category. The thing that most people don't realize about people like me is that we do get incredibly lonely, and I'd hazard a guess that that loneliness is the reason a lot of us go nuts. I'd say that the worst part is that people think you're a monster if you act like you normally would. I'm not a violent man by nature, but I have to be especially careful not to do anything abnormal when interacting with people. It's not hard, but it is basically just acting a part and not showing my true self.
Recently I've been trying to get a gf specifically because people are beginning to get a bit suspicious about me. It's abnormal for a guy in his mid-20s to have never had any relationships. It's not really that hard, but I'm not sure I can successfully deceive a woman for an extended period of time. As much as you guys always complain about no gf, I'd imagine you might actually have an easier time than me once you actually get one.
>>26667616
.>>26667737 actually left out an option, and that's
>5.) Stop being a bitch.
Yup, you're a pedo. Of course you're going to feel happy and warn inside when a little cutie smiles at you. Thinking about her felt good and you know it. What did it do to her? She's at home with her family now, probably, forgotten all about you. She wasn't harmed at all. Get over it. Stop being ashamed because the normies want to try and force you to feel bad all the time. Don't delete your loli (though you should probably delete your CP, since that's almost impossibly to justify morally), and take joy in knowing that you experience an appreciation for a type of beauty that mindless normies never will. Don't you dare fucking kill yourself either. There are lots of more smiles to see and dreams to dream you coward.
>>26660685
Yessir original recipe
>>26667908
different persons posts. I was assuming the OP wanted help to stop being a pedo
>>26667908
Also this is literally what I meant by saying you are in a den of pedos that will reinforce your behavior but whatever don't listen to me
>>26667942
And I told him something else. There is no need to stop being a pedo. There is a need to
1. Not abuse kids and be confident that you won't
2. Not use CP or other exploitive shit.
3. Not be a depressed little queer who is.ashamed all the time for something you have no control over.
>>26667997
Who gives a fuck what you think? Gas yourself, normie. He did nothing wrong. Neither he nor I am are psychopathic rapists about to maul the next loli we see. He is clearly in a dark place and doesn't need you telling him to get castrated so you can go to bed tonight feeling good about yourself for savin' un chillumz from da ee-vil preh-do-tar.
>>26668088
I went up to get evidence and realized that I misread him talking about killing himself as him planing on raping a child. My bad dude I went through the same shit times 10, I'm the schizo in the thread and all my worst delusions were about everyone thinking I'm a pedofile rapist, and I would always see little kids and think that I couldn't control my hands and moms would tell me to castrate myself and kids would call me pedo and shit (never touched any kids FBI). Should have read that twice my bad dudes
>>26668140
Oh, it was an honest mistake then. Sorry I was so mean. It's just a topic that is very near to my heart. I empathize a lot with what >>26667616 is going though, having done a lot of that myself. I get very annoyed when people try to claim that our fates are already determined and try to judge us for things we have not done and probably will never do.
>>26660685
Do you take VLC screenshots of notable KOTH moments too? Started doing that when I watched the series. Nice to go through from time to time.
>>26668228
Same here, I went around for a year thinking I was a well known sexual predator and I thought that I was fired twice because of it and also everyone would always call me a predator and kids would say sexual things to me and everyone was always talking about CP. I turned into a mute because of that shit so I know what you guys are going through.
>>26668291
That sounds rather annoying. I've dealt with shame, depression, and despair a lot but not paranoia.
>>26662833
No one except crazy posers and wannabes feel like they're cuh-RAZY, fool.
If you read into the backgrounds of serial killers and shit you realize how much society antagonizes murderers as these people who are insanely evil and stupid, when in fact most serial killers are the opposite.
It's a casual hobby to them. Gets you good thrills I imagine.
level 2 severity autism spectrum disorder, borderline personality disorder, dyspraxia, visual snow syndrome, social anxiety. may as well put it all under one diagnosis; fucked in the mind, body andsoul
>>26665766
>>26668995
>tfw you're a big guy and everyone is scared of you because of that cold dead autismal stare
