ITT we share our cringe stories
>be me
>about a month ago
>take my 7 y/o son to the museum
>actually having a good time with my son
>look at lots of cool stuff, we're having a blast
>decide to take my son on a free tour for kids age 5-9
>tour is okay, just others kids and parents following around a youngish girl, maybe 25
>she's telling us about various things in the museum
>at the end she says "okay we've got a little quiz for you to fill out, parents, you can join in too!"
>we sit at these little tables as the kids fill in the quizzes
>decide to fill in a few answers myself
>some questions about random shit
>2nd or 3rd question down is "what do BC
And AD stand for"
>for some autistic reason, I write "beta cuck" and "ass domination"
>think it's funny or whatever, put the paper down with my hand kinda leaned on it
>tour guide girl says. "okay let's check some answers" and picks my sheet up before I can even think about it
>fuckfuckfuck.jpg
>continues to pick up the rest
>starts reading mine from the top of the pile
>I literally feel sick to my stomach
>she gets to the dreaded question, and I'm basically sweating
>"beta cuck and... Aah..."
>"who's test is this?"
>nobody says anything but other parents are looking around and can clearly see that I'm shaken
>stand up with my son and leave the museum really quickly
>"why did we have to leave daddy?"
>I should probably just tell my son that I'm a socially retarded dickhead
Wont be going to that museum any time soon.
kek I hope this is true
>>26649261
had a very good laugh, thanks anon.
This is why i come to 4chan senpai.
Anybody got any more stories like this?
>>26649261
>meet my gf's son for the first time
>Who's this fucking nerd, mum?
>be me
>first year of college
>want to impress some girl and I can''t because I'm a tard
>dragged along to an open-mic comedy night at some bar by people I knew from accommodation
>see girl sitting with her friends all laughing at the current comedian
>he is black and his (obviously) friend is yelling references to slavery or someshit
>he deals with it well and everyone laughs, has a good time, etc
>his act ends he leaves everyone claps, including qt
>decide now is my moment, my time to shine
>walk up to the stage trying to look cool and accidentally walk into a chair
>people near me chuckle
>get on stage and try and make a joke about falling over
>nobody laughs
>try and make a joke about the black guy before but have to stop because I realise how racist it would make me sound
>in my social awkwardness I try and sit on the provided stool and slip
>my drink falls into my lap
>some guy yells something at me
>everyone laughs
>go red in the face and tell him to "fuck off normie scum"
>see qt is avoiding my gaze
>leave and never speak to her again
>on my way out I trip over the SAME FUCKING CHAIR
>hear people muttering and laughing as I go
I hate how I always have to police my actions because if I'm just "myself" I'll sperg out.
>>26649515
I'm just picturing a bar full of over-achieving, good looking athletes and sorority girls laughing at you.
If you would've done that at a hipster bar, they probably would've thought it was your act and been all "like, wow maaan, so post-modern and like, thought-provoking."
Prepare yourselves.
>be me
>Like 7 or 8
>Playing on my GameCube in the cold basement
>need to take a leak
>only bathroom is up 3 flights of stairs
>fuckthat.jpg
>find little corner near water heater
>piss there
>becomes a regular habit
>mold begins to grow, progressively getting worse
>mom thinks heater is leaking, finds out it's not
>we had to get it professionally cleaned, cost a lot of money and we had to stay with a family friend for a week
>it wasn't until 4 years later that I realized I caused it
>to this day, she still doesn't know it was me
>be me
>about ten years old
>girl in class touches my arm on bus
>iminlove.jpg
>spend all weekend writing poems for her
>even buy her a fancy ring
>monday comes
>give her the poems and ring
>she awkwardly takes them and avoids me for the rest of the day
>next day
>friend of girl comes over and returns my gifts
>claims girl "can't accept them"
>mocked for the rest of my time in school
>later heard girl was crying after I gave her the gifts
why are women such devils
>>26649261
>beta cuck
>ass domination
Ahahahaa
>>26649261
>be about 7
>suddenly find a small drawing in my drawer
>it's kind of a love letter from this girl
>this girl happens to be the most attractive in school
>i make a drawing for her as well, put it in her drawer
>few hours later she opens her drawer in front of 2-3 other girls
>she kinda stares at it, then they all look at me and laugh very hard
>never had any conversation with her again
anyways for the upcomming years i used to be best friends wit her brother
>>26649261
6th grade, we have to a story to the class about something our parents did/do at work
My Dad is/was a policeman, I have the "perfect" story, heard it a million times, he tells it at every BBQ party with his buddies
My turn, sweaty palms, shaky, dry mouth, I hate speaking in front of class, teacher says I can give my talk from my seat
Principal, Superintendent, School Board Members, Mayor on a school tour, they come in sit down to watch class, "Don't mind us Anon, pretend were not here"
Pressure is on, I really, really have to piss, badly
Tell my Dads "Funny" story:
He is on patrol with a rookie, night shift, bad area of town, woman runs up to the patrol car, help, a man is raping a woman in the park, they run into park and sure enough woman on the ground being rapped, they pull the guy off and cuff him, the get the woman who reported the crime to help the victim back to the patrol car, now the funny part, Dad decides to show the rookie how they "teach lessons to scum" he pulls his baton and beats the crap out of the guy, knocks out teeth, breaks a bunch of bones, tells the guy if he says a world they will:
"String his NIGGER ass up from the nearest tree"
I laugh as I tell the last part, always gets lots of laughs when Dad tells it
Classroom has a bunch of gasps, and some of the kids start crying, teacher slaps me and the Principal tells me to collect my stuff, he says I am being expelled
Look around the room, forgot half the class is black, same with the Principal, teacher is married to a black guy and has half black kids
Get expelled, Dad gets suspended, he retires before they can fire him
Dad beats the living crap out of me, worst beating I have every had
My Grandmother asks me if I have learned anything, tell her "I tell a funny story and a bunch of Niggers get me kicked out of school and my Dad fired"
>elementary school
>lived an extremely sheltered childhood
>not exposed to profanity or vulgarity of any kind
>waiting in line to go to lunch
>kid points to something and says something to me
>point with my middle finger
>"oh my god anon you can't do that!"
>sperg activated
>hold up middle finger saying "whats wrong with this?"
>kids gasping and backing up
>teacher sees
>sent to principal's office
>holding back tears
I've always been a sperg.
>>26649515
Oh, Jesus. And I thought I had it bad. Thanks, Anon. This is the reason I come to 4chan.
>>26649261
WEW LAD
>20 yrs old
>taking some music class
>kinda chubby but cute sorority girl wants to study with me
>too awkward to make a move
>she invites me to some sorority dance-mixer
>i cant dance at all
>i think im suave and agree only if she teaches me
>get to the club
>open the door
>get on the floor
>no dinosaurs, but she tells me to start moving my hips
>i make feint rigid motions but mostly nothing
>i repeatedly tell her i can grind but thats it
>do the saddest little hip movements and keep begging her to grind
>she eventually says no very strongly
>i tell her I need a drink
>immediately leave
>18 years of age
>been invited to a few parties by people I vaguely knew but never went
>let slip to mum that I got an invite to this party
>she makes me go
>tell mum to make sure we don't turn up late
>I turn up 5mins "late" to the "start of the party"
>nobody there except 3 of these girls I barely knew
>say I'm gonna put my alcohol upstairs
>hide in the bathroom for 30 minutes
>go downstairs, avoid talking to people for as long as possible
>someone tells me to join the conversation
>sperg out and go to the bathroom for another 30 mins
>call mum at 10:30 and get her to pick me up
>we (me and the girl+her friend group) try and avoid speaking to each other as much as possible for the rest of the year
>>26649515
christ lad how are you that autistic
