>Welcome to heaven, anon! I'm just going to take a look at your lifetime sin records to make sure you're righteous enough to enter. Don't worry though, one sin will be cleared from the books for each gf you've ever had.
>worshiping a dead kike
>not worshipping the one true God who will give you 72 virgins in the afterlife
When did robots become such bluepilled?
>>26648667
More like one sin would be added for each gf.
It's about purity and eternal love. Every ex-gf is a mark of failure.
>>26648715
>Hmm, so I see here it says you're autistic. I'm afraid you will have to go to autism hell. There will be lots of loud noises and normies will be having a party in the same room as you for all eternity.
>>26648667
I don't think God works on a brownie point system. For the most righteous man is nothing more than a filthy rag before God.
Accept Jesus and you enter heaven. Nothing more, nothing less.
>>26648753
>Arguing with Jesus
You're not off to a good start here anon.
2 girl friends, 1 in middle school and 1 in high school. Nothing in college...
Jesus never had a gf though. In fact having a gf rather than a wife is fornicating and a sin. Especially if you have a number of gfs. Also the amount of sins you have commited is irrelevant, what matters is whether you are a beleiver in jesus christ and are truly in repentance for all your sins.
>>26648837
>I see, so that'd be 987,304,583,102,559,245 sins minus 2 sins from the gf forgiveness program which brings you down to a total of 987,304,583,102,559,243 sins. I'm sorry anon but it looks like you're still 987,304,583,102,559,240 sins over the limit and will have to go to hell now.
How can I sin when I'm a bloody robot?
>>26648667
>being a fornicator (sin) gets sins cleared
This fucking heresy
>>26648856
>Jesus never had a gf though.
The gf sin forgiveness program was set up to give the majority of imperfect humans a way to still make it to heaven. Jesus doesn't need sin forgiveness credit because he has 0 sins to begin with.
I'm vrigin, no GF ever. It looks like that sin search won't be necessary. I'm ready to assume my post as one of the Paradisio elite now.
>>26648791
>implying that's not Peter
Jesus has more important shit to do than stand at the pearly gates.
>>26648932
He's right though, there is only one way to heaven and it is through Jesus aside from dying before you know right from wrong or living a sinless life.
All sins are equal in God's eyes. There is no difference between the holocaust and thinking fuck that stupid bitch who cut me off in traffic. The only unforgivable sin is to deny the holy spirit.
>>26649099
>>26649162
>Two more for autism hell.
Lord Jesus, I may not have had a physical girlfriend but I have had many waifus. The love and devotion for these fictional maidens will be more than enough to remove any sins I have
>>26648667
gfs or sex partners?
>>26649316imblyingDUDE
>>26648667
Is it too late to get baptised?
>>26648715
>believing a mudshit pedophile
>not clearing your body of thetans so you can reach eternal bliss
>>26649182
Autism hell is heaven, so that sounds pretty fucking awesome. I'll enjoy looking down on the normies burning in normalfag heaven. Who's sour grapes now, bitch.
>no I like eternal anguish and gnashing of teeth and worms eating my flesh
>autism hell probably sucks, lmao singing praises to God nonstop and being constantly enveloped in his presence
>the grapes at the banquet table are prolly sour anyway
>>26648715
>>not worshipping the one true God who will give you 72 virgins in the afterlife
Except in the Quran it says 72 fully-matured women of your age. So if you die at the age of 60, have fun with granny tits. Unless you're killing yourself at a young age, of course.
>>26649396
Only church of christ says it's a requirement. If you're born again you're good to go. Baptism is just a public affirmation of your new life and dedication to Christ.
Also, >not being baptized as an infant
>>26648785
fuck you
fuck you so much
>>26649162
>All sins are equal in God's eyes.
>1 John 5:16-17
>16If anyone sees his brother committing a sin not leading to death, he shall ask and God will for him give life to those who commit sin not leading to death. There is a sin leading to death; I do not say that he should make request for this.
>17All unrighteousness is sin, and there is a sin not leading to death.
>>26649590
Shit, I should have an heroed 12 years ago then. What a shit religion. Muh-ham head gets to fuck an 8 year old but I"m stuck with 26 year old grannies? It's not like I"m asking for lolis anway, I just want ptp, around 14 to 16
>>26648932
Having a gf is a sin if you have sex with her, and most people do. Sex is only a good act if it is between husband and wife.
>>26649657
>Another one for autism hell
>>26649603
>Only church of christ says it's a requirement.
And the Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, Assyrian Church of the East, and Coptic church too
>>26649649
When you think about it, this explains a lot why so many muslims allahuakbar themselves at such young ages lmao
>>26648880
>987,304,583,102,559,245
>390 million sins per second for a lifetime of 80 years
Holy shit that's a pretty hardcore life of sin
>>26649634
I'm not familiar with those passages and I"m too lazy to look into it right now.
All men have fallen short of the mark. The Bible, somechapter:someverse(s). Even thought crime is a sin and there is no difference between wanting to fuck a girl and raping her.
Sin is sin. I'll let my brother worry with the speck of dust in his eye, I have this huge fucking beam in mine to worry with.
>>26648667
>Thinking you'll get save as a result of your works
Wew, lad.
