I can't anymore, /r9k/. I can't do anything. I'm depressed, I have auditory hallucinations. A voice converses with me, tells me I'm a worthless sack of shit and keeps reminding me so that I don't get hopeful and inevitably disappointed when someone shows the least amount of concern for me. I have no friends, I have no life prospects, I'm too much of a pussy to an hero. I just want to escape everything. I don't want to get on drugs because I'm too fucking scared that I'll get addicted and end up like a junkie, and the worst part is that day in, day out, I have to act like everything is fine. I could tell someone but really they wouldn't care. I could see a therapist but that wouldn't do anything. I don't know what I'm doing with life. Someone give me answers, robots please.
General feels thread.
is that voice your fathers? because it might not be hallucinations XDDD stop being such a fucking beta fag
>>26647094
Shameless self bump. Something something original comment
>>26647107
Dad left when I was 3, haven't seen him since I was 9 about a decade ago
>>26647094
>everyone sage this thread and ignore it so OP kills himself
antipsychotics aren't addictive you moron
>>26647152
You know, I can't help but laugh. Everyday I lost a little faith in people I never even knew I had. I don't know what I expected when I came on here for help but I've disappointed myself again.
>>26647180
>comes for pity on /r9k/
might as well look for ice on the sun
>>26647207
Probably. Well I guess we're done here then.
what you are experiencing is a hallucination of yourself. You sound semi-coherent may have some semblance of intelligence. I will tell you how to turn your life around. What you do with this information is your choice.
1. Acknowledge that the feeling you have at the moment is tainting your perception of reality. Everything you feel hear and see is seen through the filter of your depression and is an illusion.
2. Realize that you can not overcome this in your normal way any more than you can pull yourself out of a swamp by pulling your hair.
3. You now have to consider the options. I) go to a psychiatrist get prescribed some anti-depressants get some therapy there is about a 50% chance this will work soon and then goes up to about 80% if you have long established contact and try various medications.
II) You can give up and opt out of life and an hero you said this wasn't an option and i wouldn't recommend it.
III) You can try changing your perspective of reality using mind altering chemicals. This is what I did. Remember the last time you felt good? yeah I couldnt either, do you even remember what it feels like to feel good?
You will not find this option talked about because of some BS anti drug hysteria. But if you want a chance a real chance to have a life then follow what I say very carefully.
Now the drug you want isnt some BS opiate where you will lie down and feel good about doing nothing. The drug i recommend at first is MDMA.
(cont on next post)
>>26647094
my situation
pic related
did you know that because you're schizophrenic you have most likely always had (or developed it as you aged) brain damage, OP? if I were you I'd embrace being defective human waste and stop trying to have a normal life at all
>>26647271
>look, anon, your mommy is suffering!
How can one think about other people if they can't think of himself. The fact that mommy is suffering because of how much of failure you are has nothing to do with the fact that you are failure.
>>26647254
Why MDMA? Well you are probably a loser. Its not really your fault at some point you missed the point normal people do where they learn social interactions. You feel awkward in social situations and thus tend to keep to yourself. This perpetuates the image that you are a loner and you start thinking there is something wrong wtih you. So why MDMA? When you take it all the fears the judgement falls away, you feel great and you can just talk to anyone without these BS goggles of fear and depression.
Is MDMA not dangerous? Yes definitely it is so is any other drug if taken incorrectly.
Truth is several published scientific articles point out that MDMA and other hallucinogens are way safer and less harmful than smoking or drinking. Also the addiction potential is relatively low, lower i would say than for smoking or drinking.
4. Now you have your options. I and II you will know how to do yourself but III you say im a loser with no connection to anyone how will i get MDMA?
(continued)
>>26647368
First get this OS https://tails.boum.org/about/index.en.html
do everything on here as its untraceable.
second buy bitcoins and wash them using bitcoin fog
third find a black market site selling MDMA inside your country if the envelope doesnt cross borders there is almost 0% chance of getting caught.
5. Now you have MDMA what do you do?
Start of with a small dose of 80 to 100 mG. Just go outside and enjoy your time. Feel like what it feels like to be human again.
Do not use it more than once every 2 weeks. best would be once per month max this is what i do. Once you have a good feeling for this go to any place where you can strike up a conversation go to a bar and just talk to a person and it will feel like the most natural thing in the world.
Anyway that is how i cured myself from crippling social anxiety and depression. I hope this helps you brother. Much love and if you have any questions just ask.
>>26647271
Oh god me too man.
I don't live with my mom though, but most of this sounds accurate especially the part about me being skilled verbally and being told I was smart because of it. I finally got over my superiority complex in the 8th grade but by then it was already too late.
I recently tried turning my life around by signing up for a free course for becoming a mechanist where I am almost guaranteed a job at the end of it. At first it was seeming like this was finally something I was good at, something I could make a career out of. But after only a few classes in have been given a homework assignment that I simply cannot do. I have spent 7 hours on one 12 page chapter trying to read it and re-read to gain some sense of understanding, but to no avail. I realize now that if this is only the fourth chapter and I am already stumped, I have no chance. I am quitting the course tomorrow after spending 4 straight hours this mourning trying to make it stick.
Once a robot, always a robot.
My mother always used to tell me how smart I was. Even though I had a non-verbal learning disability and ADHD, and took hours to do what most kids could do in 30 minutes she still clinged (and clings) to the idea that I'm smart. She says I'm just gifted in a unique way and that I just learn differently from other people.
But I know better, I'm an idiot. Slow-witted and incompetent and clumsy.
I will never try to improve myself or better my lot again. It will just lead to more disappointment and suffering.
I resign myself to a cozy oblivion. NEET 4 life.
>>26647271
>MFW this image perfectly describes me.
>>26647254
>>26647368
>>26647539
I can't wait for some mollied out robot to come up and try to talk to me with pupils the size of dinner plates
