>Wake up this morning to see GBP board taken down from wall
>Mummy, where are my GBP?
>You're too old for that anon, you'll be 30 next month
>Mummy, I said where are my GBP?
>*sigh* Anon, I know that you can under-
>goo goo ga ga mummy
>Anon, I'm leaving if you do this
>make poo poo in my undies
>Clean me mummy
>There are some chicken tenders in the freezer for you and some Mountain Dew and Doritos in the cabinet, the bills are payed until the end of next month
>Mummy, change my poo poo pants
>Goodbye Anon
>watch mummy walk out to the car as I stand there with poo poo running down my legs
>she backs out of the driveway and leaves
>probably just going to the store to get some more tendies
>take poopies off and throw them at the wall
>Sit on the couch and turn on my PS4
>I'm still waiting for mummy to get back from the store
>Bitch is taking forever, it's been like 3 days...
How's your day been robots?
>make ba-ba woo-woo in the potty
>yell for Mummy to come clean me
>"Mummy mummy clean my bummy! I'm all done now! Come and wipe me stupid sow!"
>when she walks through the door I'm just giggling happy and drooling all over myself
>after she's done I give her a "Goo goo ga ga!" of approval with a big smile
Feels comfy man. Anyone else living the pampered life?
>2 months after new year
>tell mommy i wanna shoot fireworks
>she refuses
>1 hour later she goes to take out the trash
>i lock the door behind her
>she demands to let her in because it's cold and she doesn't have any outdoor clothes
>should've thought about that before saying no to me
>jump on beds, draw on walls, shoot fireworks out of windows, play floor is lava for 4 hours
>finally decide to let mommy in
>she's curled up outside the door
>scream at her to carry me to bed because i'm tired
>she won't answer
>won't even bother to move to acknowledge me
FUCKING NORMIE SLUT
TOO FUCKING LAZY TO EVEN CARE ABOUT HER SON
>I've been a good boy and save up 50 GBP this week
>now I can dine on tendies ALL NEXT WEEK
>lunch goes smoothly enough. got a nice hot plate of tendies and sauce
>my tummy starts to growl later and I know it time for dinner
>I leave my room and head downstairs
>"mummy! time for din din! Its tendie time!"
>mumma is on the couch watching a movie with another new daddy
>lazy bitch. but who cares as long as I get my tendies
>"Sorry anon but you know the rules! tendies only once a day! just heat up some bagel bitez and leave me and my friend alone."
>fucking liar! theres no such rule posted on the GBP chart! and bagel bitez! what an insult!
>she'll learn
>wait untill 2 hours past my beddie bye time
>grab my pee pee spittoon and my hidden pair of mummys underwear to wear as a mask
>interrupt her and new daddy playing in her room
>"LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE CHICKEN TENDIES IS WHAT I DESIRE!"
>start spinning around like taz from loony toons spraying my pee pee all over
>new daddy is screaming and mum is crying
and here I am. eating breakfast tendies in bed like a king. New daddy even said he was going to show me his new gun in the woods next weekend.
>>26587915
>Mummywalks in the door holding bags of groceries
"Looks like mummy got some groceries, and she looks friendly. I wonder perhaps, did she pick up my tendies?"
>Yes, anon, I got you your tendies. They'll be ready in time for dinner.
>"Methinks, perhaps, they'd best be made now; Lest ye become burdened by poo poo somehow..."
>Anon, I don't have time. I need to go pick up your sister from school.
>"Sissy can wait, but poo poo cannot. The tendies will be here and they will be hot."
>Please don't do this again, anon. We can't afford to keep buying you new diapers.
>"You've forsaken me whim, let the poo poo commence. The contents within will be quite immense"
>What are you... OH MY GOD, ANON. THAT SMELLS TERRIBLE
>"I warned you, dear mummy, most surely I did. This is what you get for neglecting your kid!"
Then I played CS: Go for 26 minutes and went to take a nap. So far it's been a pretty comfy day OP
>wake up at 2 AM
>remember I've been saving my GBP for a good month now
>so so so so so hungry
>need to eat my yummy tendies
>commence the tendie call
>"rumbly rumbly in my tummy need my tendies oh so yummy!"
>hear mummy from across the hall: "anon go back to sleep sweety. mommy has to meet the servpro man in the morning"
>giggle to myself. servpro coming to clean up my play room
>mummy found my cum cum poo poo shrine
>still hungry
>"RUMBLY RUMBLY IN MY TUMMY NEED MY TENDIES OH SO YUMMY! MY GPB ARE MAX"
>"Please anon. I'm so tired!"
>fucking bitch
>"STAY IN BED IF YOU DARE. I'LL POOPOO ON THE SILVERWARE"
>run downstairs and open the silverware drawer
>this'll teach that fucking whore
>mummy comes down just in time to see me squeeze a loggy onto the forks
>death stare her
>mummy meekly opens the freezer and gets out the box
Spent the rest of the night eating tendies and rebuilding my cummy cum shrine
All of you need to kill yourself as soon as possible
>>26589307
GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD YOU NORMIE SCUM
>>26588147
>that rhyming
Holy fuck I'm dying.
>>26589307
This board is fucking ruined by faggots like you who don't understand chan culture
LITERALLY KILL YOURSELF YOU FUCKING NORMIE
>turn 30
>mom tells me my GBP (I've saved over 14,000) are no longer redeemable and I'll have to get a job to start paying for my chicken tenders and video games
>throw a temper tantrum and take off all my clothes and start beating my head on the living room floor
>the cunt tells me she's going to deduct my GBP even though SHE JUST TOLD ME they weren't valid anymore
>get so mad I run to my room and come back wielding my kitana, still naked
>"A-Anon, p-please put your clothes back o-"
>demand that she refer to me as Prince of Darkness
>"O-Okay, Prince of Darkness. Will you please just put your clothes on and take your sword back to your room?"
>tell her I'll only do it if I get 6,000 more GBP to bring me to an even 20,000
>she finally complies
Best and worst birthday ever all at once.
>>26588101
I remember this one, a classic.
>gather 320 good boy points over the course of months
>2 good points = 1 chicken tender
>I am now entitled to a 160-tendie meal
>ask mommy for tenders
>she says she doesn't have that many
>explain to her that I earned them by being a good boy
>bitch won't even go to the store and get any
>says she doesn't have enough money (even though she had plenty to pay the medical bills for her "pneumonia")
>get really mad
>punch her in the nose
>terrified look in her eyes
>says I have to leave
>I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
>she said, "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air!"
>Listening to Nightcore and eating chicken nuggies
>Mummy comes up
>Tells me I need to move out by the end of this month, I'm too old to stay with mummy
>She says she's willing to pay rent until I get a job
>Dumb bitch made me pause my Nightcore for this
>I swiftly grab my favorite katana from my katana collection and lay my trench coat on the floor ready to embrace a foe
>"Anon, what the fuck are you doing?"
>I laugh and charge at her
>"Then feed me my chicken nuggies in hell"
>I trip over my lego building set and bruise my knee
>Start crying for mummy
>She sings me a lullaby and rocks my head back and forth
>Fell asleep holding mummy
>Wake up with extra chicken nuggies fresh and warm
>Don't have to move out
Fucking normies, they're finally learning
>Wake up at 4PM from napsy time
>Glance over at my Good Boy Points scoreboard
>Fuck yes, 25 pointsies!
>Time to play some video gameys
>Waddle downstairs to living room in my jammy wammies
>Mom has her book club over, occupying valuable living room space
>"Anon, we're having our weekly book meeting here, can't you go play in the playroom for a little while?"
>No bitch, I saved up my Good Boy Points to play my Weegee game
>"O-okay, Anon, but please try to keep it down."
>Of course mommy, I'm your good boy!
>Load up New Luigi Bros. U
>Hear mom in the background: "A-as I was saying, I think Jane Eyre..."
>The game starts
>Start chanting Luigi catchphrases
>WEEGEE TIME
>WAHOO
>MARIOOOOO
>Absorbed in the game
>World 1 boss, so toughy tough!
>Start farting from the concentration
>Smells like rotten meat
>WEEGEE NUMBER ONE
>Sniff fartsy farts and giggle
>Made it to world 2!
>Fart out a hot burning one
>Hear one of the bookwomen gag
>"I'm sorry Anon's Mom, I think I've left the lights on at home. I really have to go!"
>Hear her run out while gagging
>Look over at mom and her friendsies
>They're all looking at me disgusted
>Smirk
>"Come on, Anon, why don't you go to the playroom for a little bit. I think you've had enough tv timey."
>NO BITCH I WANNA PLAY WEEGEE
>I HAVE PAID THE GBP
>NO REFUNDS
>"Please, Anon, we can talk about this later."
>Bitch has got to know when to stop.
>Now it's WEEGEE TIME
>Rub Wii U Gamepad over my wee wee
>Tummy tums starts growling
>Start violently farting and shitting in my diapies
>The smell is horrific
>Women start throwing up while scrambling for the door
>Mom starts crying
>Completely broken down
>Get a semi
>It's just the two of us now
>Mom just sits there, staring blankly at me
>I laugh and roll around
>Mommy, now make me tendies please?
>No response
>MOMMY, TENDIES NOW FOR TUMTUM HUNGRY
>No wonder dad left us, you useless whore
>Throw gamepad at her face, breaking her cheekbone
>She goes up and makes my tendies
>Dine like a literal king
>>26589398
The modern Shakespeare
>>26588147
Nice copypasta faggot, too bad none will ever be as good as the vocaroo again
>>26590237
No shit faggot, all of it is pasta.
I know somebody capped a tendie story I wrote when these were originally popular.
The protagonist steals a Frozen toy from a little kid so he can jizz on it or something. And gets his mom kicked out of Burger King.
>Mommy got a new Daddy and kicked me out
>Live with gwammy
>Gwams spoils her little boy rotten! hee hoo
>Buys me tendies with her social security checks
>Picks up all my piss jugs in the morning
>Life can't get any better than this! I don't even have to spend GBP... but don't tell gwamma that guu!
>"Gwamummy baby boy wants tendies and Lagers gaaa ga"
>"I was just on the phone with mummy and she told me your GBP balance. You've been a very bad boy. You're going to have to save up your GBP. Why dont you wash the dishes for me? I'm old, and tired"
>Shit my pants in shock
>How could mummy betray me
>"TENDIES NOW YOU WRINKLED FLESHBAG, I WONT TAKE THIS FROM A OLD HAG!"
>"I understand you're upset anon bu-"
>RRREEEEEEE
>Take globs of shit from my deadpool nighttime undies and start rubbing them on the dishes
>Gwamma looks really pale
>This was never something she should have learned
>Rinse dishes with the water from my whoopsie doo
>Gwamma faints
>I put her in bed
>take a final greasy shit next to her on the pillow where gwampie used to sleep
>Lock the door
>I sign her checks every month now
Guess who gets free GDP from the government? I bet she'd want her little boy to dine on tendies until he's aaaallllll full
>>26590425
Go on the desu storage archive and look for it
>>26590440
Simply beautiful, the gentleman's poetry
>>26590454
Found it
>enjoying some pizza rolls while masturbating to iCarly
>bitch mom knocks and tells me to clean my room and get rid of my shit jug
>start faking pain "Oww! I gots me a booboo!" While sneaking up behind the door
> when she comes in I knock her purse out of her hands and blow a fat load on it
>"Now take me to Wendy's or I'll fucking kill myself."
> she complies, weeping
> we get there and they have Frozen toys
> I specifically ask for an Elsa toy so I can spunk on it and let it get crusty
> normie BITCH gave me a FUCKING OLAF fucking NORMALFAG I can't believe what my eyes are SEEING right now GODDAMMIT
>see little girl who has the Elsa
>"Trade?"
>she seems scared
> whatever I need it more than her so I rip it out of her hands
> she starts crying and her Chad looking father comes running after me
>"Mom, can you fucking hurry? I'm going to miss Yo Gabba Gabba you slut."
> we get in the car, mom seems on the verge of tears
>"You must realize this was your fault for having me. I don't owe you shit. Your sick pleasure fucking Chad' s dick to have me should be enough reward."
Normies just don't get it
>>26590517
Meh, work on it, maybe then you'll become a legend like this guy
https://youtu.be/XNPljoociK8
>>26590517
>"Mom, can you fucking hurry? I'm going to miss Yo Gabba Gabba you slut."
my sides weren't ready for that one
>>26588101
10/10
ORIIGINAL ORIIGINAL
