>be 11
>christmas time
>go to aunt's house on boxing day for big family gathering
>grandparents, great aunts, adult cousins are all there, I'm the youngest person except for a cousin's baby, my sister is a few years older than me
>everyone sitting around, typical christmas music playing, eating buffet food. We're not a hugely close family and rarely get together, so the atmosphere is a little more awkward than it could be
>most interesting thing happening is my uncle lightly ribbing my sister about her taste in music
>"You like all that rap music, I bet you get together and rap with your friends at school, don't you?"
>a light ripple of chuckling
>I had zero interest in music, least of all hip hop
>look up from Dragon Warrior 3 on my gameboy color
>"I can rap"
>sister rolls her eyes and tell me not to be stupid
>"I can!" I insist to the room, "I know a rap! I'll do it right now!"
>evening hasn't even progressed to the point where people are playing charades or pictionary or anything, and I literally go up cold in front of the christmas tree, center-stage, and start bobbing up and down on my knees to get the rhythm going
>"You don't know a rap!" my sister, visibly perturbed, continues to insist. How wrong she is.
>With my extended family all silent now, all staring at me, I begin:
>"Kick. Punch. It's all in the mind. If you wanna test me... I'm sure you'll find."
>proceed to rap through several minutes of Chop Chop Master Onion's rap from Parappa the Rapper
>do all Master Onion's jerky arm movements to the music
>go through all of the button-pushing sequences, ("Chop... Chop... Kick... Kick...")
>emulate Onion's Japanese accent racistly
>switch to Parappa's voice for his bits
>around a minute in, my mother tries to stop me
>grandma puts a hand on her arm and says, "Let him finish, dear."
Holy fucking kek anon.
Do you have a driver's license?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TsqCNy6UU0
>>26571837
Spergo story thread time?
>>26572058
Ok I used to make up imaginary countries, whole histories to go along with them, flags, fake languages, national anthems, armies, the whole shebang. And I half lived in the real world and half in my little imaginary world where I was some James Bond type super agent motherfucker, hopping between all these countries on secret missions to save the world. This lasted for like four years. From 4th-8th grade.
>>26571837
I'm gonna assume this is a sperg thread and contriboote
>Be me, 12 yo aspiring sperg
>Have a huge crush on this girl in my class, let's call her J
>J picks on me every day
>EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
>Bitch won't give me a break but I still like her for some reason
>I got one of those sperglord hat with the flat brim
>Fucking love this hat
>Every recess she runs across the basketball court to steal my hat and run away with it
>She's taller than me and kind of intimidating
>When I catch up to her she throws my hat
>I get so pissed when she throws my hat
>Talk about it to dad because no mom
>dad says be man,don't let girl take hat
>make up my mind, tomorrow I will stand up for myself and protect the hat
>next day comes, pumped as fuck
>keep looking at her all morning thinking about how sweet it's gonna be to finally be man
>recess comes,show time anon
>she takes my precious hat as usual
>I run after her and yell at her to give back hat or else
>she turns back to me ''or else what?''
>oh shit she's actually scary
>she's coming towards me laughing
>''or else I'll kick your butt!'' I sperg out
>she throws hat on the ground in front of me
>autism reaching critical levels, tears of rage well up in my eyes
>she actually starts looking sorry and bends down to pick up my hat
>too late, autist mode engaged
>I start wailing in her general direction while crying
>only one punch hit her slightly in the arm
>I try to kick, fall on my ass
>shes still not fighting back, trying to help me up
>I keep wailing and crying on the ground for a good 30 seconds
>people, even the teacher stare in shock
>eventually evacuate the autism and calm down,get sent home for the day
>she gets my phone number from the student council
>calls me the same night and tells me how she's sorry
>tells me she was picking on me because she likes me and she didn't mean to hurt me
Cont.
>>26571837
Don't feel bad, you gave your senpai a priceless memory to look back on.
>>26573426
Cont.
>she ask me to be her boyfriend even after what happened
>manage to convince myself she was playing a mean trick on me
>convinced other from the class are in on it and they all just want to laugh at me
>I refuse flat out
>tell her no one would want to be her boyfriend because shes a weird giant
>she just started puberty early and I'm a manlet sperg
>hang up on her
>she doesn't show up at school the next day
>and the one after
>people start picking on me more
>girls in class look at me in disgust
>MFW she wasn't lying
>MFW she's the only girl who ever liked me and I've kept on sperging since then
thanks for reading, I had to get this one out somehow and it already feels better
>>26573426
>tells me she was picking on me because she likes me and she didn't mean to hurt me
aw man just think how you couldah had your qt gf if you didnt fuck up so bad.
>iktf
>have crush on girl
>shes hottest girl in school
>she has first kiss with my rival. we arent really enemies i was just jealous of him because he could draw better than me
>think im never gonna ever kiss her or anything
>end of year class party
>im joking and teasing girl
>shes laughing etc
>she says she wants to tell me a secret but i have to promise to tell a secret too, agree
>she hands me a note and says thats who she has a crush on
>cant read her gimped handwriting
>she asks who i have a crush on.
>want to say her but too much of a coward, say another girls name to save face
>realize her note said she had a crush on me
>she flips out and gets mad and tells the girl i liked her.
>mfw couldah had first gf in grade who was hottest girl insschool 5 but fucked it up
wish this was the only example
>>26573534
in grade 5*
>>26573490
did she ever come back to school?
>>26573534
fuck man why did we have to be so autistic
>>26573562
she did but I only realized she wasn't joking months later because retard, so I never got to make it right. also people started throwing rocks at me for being mean to the most popular girl in school so I couldn't even get near her after that.
>>26573490
Jesus wept, that's a pathetic story.
I feel bad for you man.
O I am laffin OP, listening to the rap right now.
Kek
