You're at a bar with your gf and THIS guy busts in bare ass naked with an erection and a gun in his hand which he shoves into your gf's mouth.
You reach for your gun but hear a hammer cock right next to your head. It's the guy's accomplice.
The guy says, "That's right suck my gun, now suck my penis or you're all dead including me and my friend here." He activates a time bomb and sets it on the bar. "You have a minute to make me come."
Your gf frantically drops to her knees but looks to you pleadingly to take some course of action. You realize if you draw you may all be killed instantly.
Wat do?
>>26570186
How's the accomplice? Is he as unfit?
I don't have a gf and probably never will
>>26570186
Shoot myself in the dick and use everyone's moment of shock that I shot myself to kill the fat bastard.
>>26570186
It would probably take me a fat minute to find his dick.
>>26570186
you must be really fucked in the head to even imagine something a situation like this
>>26570186
get him to lie down for a start, his genitals would be inaccessible otherwise
I pick up the time bomb and throw it at the nearest mosque.
>>26570206
He's actually a black ops guy decked out in kevlar and a helmet and shit and has decades of combat experience. He has a deagle trained on your head.
>>26570211
Brave move, might be maverick enough to work if you don't bleed out.
replace him with a qt femboi and I'll just go ahead and fuck the femboi
>>26570211
He has an accomplice, I suggest telling your gf to go along ane when guard is lowered(when she is about to start sucking) shoot the accomplice, and stab the fat ass. I always carry a knife after all.
This would never happen, i would never take her to a bar
We'd be watching anime all day and do the sexings
And she'd cook for me, and suck my smegma peepee when i play on my shitty low pop wotlk private server
>>26570234
this exact scenario is the #1 cause of death in denmark
>>26570267
Nice plan.
Calmly look his accomplice in the eye, unblinking.
Tell him, with a slight smirk, "If you're going to threaten a man like me with a gun, you'd better make sure you switched the safety off first."
As his accomplice's eyes frantically drop down to his firearm, I push his gun out of my face with my left hand before he can pull the trigger while I simultaneously draw and flick open my Benchmade.
He barely has time to register what is going on before I drive the blade deep into his forearm and tear through his flesh, maiming him and causing him to drop his gun.
His portly friend, eyes wild with fear, tries as quick as he can to draw a bead on me but I am upon him well before he has the chance. I sink my blade into his gut and tear, disemboweling him as he screams in agony and terror before dropping to the ground desperately trying to keep his own insides from spilling out of his belly.
I again turn my attention to his accomplice, who has started towards the door in hopes of making an escape while I was distracted with his companion. "Not so fast," I say cooly, "I'm not through having my fun with you yet."
He desperately attempts to sputter out a plea for his life, but my blade pierces his throat before he ever finishes his sentence. After taking a brief moment to admire my handiwork, I make my escape with my betrothed and we are well out of range before the bomb detonates.
>>26570210
It is possible anon. It is.
>>26570290
Am dane
Can confirmorino
>>26570357
Impressive. I'm going to say that this would work.
>>26570357
>nothing personal kid
>slices his neck
>>26570290
how did you know im from denmark?
>>26570357
*teleports behind you*
nuh uh
>>26570455
it's a well known fact
>try to find erection
>can't because his fat covers his dick
>inform him of the fact and tell him to visit /fit/ and read the sticky
>>26570487
im being serious dude, what the fuck?
flags are not available here right?
>>26570596
chill out lad i'm not going to do anything
>>26570718
say pls
Stop time, shoryuken the accomplice then hadouken the fat guy mid-air.
>>26570357
I like the safety trick, but the rest of this was just so edgy.
0/10 did not rape the accomplice
