If you normies are going to hang out here then the least you can do is provide us with some fap material. Post anything noteworthy, funny, cute, or whatever the fuck.
>>26569382
max allowed is 2 MB
fuck hiroshima
Here's how I lost my virginity
>be 21 yo virgin
>desperate for pussy
>constantly trying to hit up girls on Yik Yak
>had to change my kik name twice because I've been posting it so much it started getting recognized
>finally find a girl that's dtf
>she's fat though
>"fuck it, pussy is pussy I'm losing this virginity"
>head over to her dorm
>put on Archer on Netflix and lie down on her bed
>eventually lean over to kiss her
>soon after she's on her knees giving me a blowjob
>I might be a virgin but I can tell she's not good at it
>I thought fat chicks were supposed to be great at giving head
>trade places and I finger her/eat her out
>doesn't really taste like anything, not even salty milk and coins
>surprisingly because she was fat
>throw on a condom and try to fuck
>can't get it in from missionary, try doggy and able to get it in
>after a few minutes she gets on top and rides me
>I'm not even close to cumming
>literally we've been having sex for over 45 minutes now I'm bored
>eventually tell her that I'm satisfied even though I haven't finished
>get dressed and leave
And that's how I lost my virginity. Haven't had sex since.
>>26569382
>first bf
>pressures me to be sexual
>agree bc i don't want him to leave me
>one day asks if he can try something
>pulls out plastic handcuffs from halloween store
>try not to laugh, he's obviously into it
>put them on me
>he gets really into it
>they break
>can't stop laughing
>have to stop
>>26569553
kek
My gf loved my handcuffs but I had real ones, Smith and Wesson.
>>26569578dating him made me realize i don't like to be the one wearing handcuffs
>>26569382
>Girl I've been on a date with before comes over
>things are getting hot and heavy
>she mentions putting in another movie because the looped music from what we watch before was annoying
>super eager to bang, so I reach for anything
>jaws
>know I shouldn't but fuck it
>by the time, we actually start fucking the theme plays
>the first time I have sex with this girl is boning to the jaws theme
>get her a copy of jaws for a secret santa party
>>26569553
>tfw I like wearing the handcuffs
>tfw qt trap bf likes putting me in handcuffs
Damn, I hit the jackpot for sure.
>>26569382
>having sex with girl
>sex is tedious, can't stay hard long
>she gets frustrated, asks why I can't keep it up
>tell her I find her body unattractive
>gets off of me dead quiet for like 2 minutes straight, goes downstairs and starts crying uncontrollably
>let her sob for a bit, come down and comfort her
>she asks for me to start taking her to the gym
>lost about 10 lbs then started gaining weight again because I dumped her
>>26569644
a friend of mine lost his virginity to the song 'it's tough to be a god' from the road to el dorado
>fucking gf missionary
>going full jackhammer mode, slamming her snatch
>she's cumming
>her eyes are wide open with a deranged look on her face
>wraps her long legs around me and squeezes as hard as she can
>forces me to cum inside her even though she wasn't on birth control
She was total damaged goods (rape victim) but the sex was on point. I was the 19th guy she had sex with in a 2 year period, so she was a slut.
I do not have sex since I was teenager but I am stripper and have story from this if you want.
>>26569789
go on
please do
>>26569550
>didn't fuck her raw and nut inside her
>thinks he lost his virginity
ayyy
>>26569789
Yes, stripper stories are nice too.
> be me.
> be married
> whatever
> cheat on her two nights ago
> new bitch gives me BJ in her car
> let's me dominate her - pull her hair fuck her mouth completely wreck her face
> cum in her mouth with the force of 1000 suns
![hqdefault[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/4J5Pyx8.jpg "hqdefault[1].jpg")
>meet gril on omegle
>talk for a bit, get to know each other
>move it over to skype call
>she eventually pressures my young and pure mind to cave and engage in sexual relations over the phone
>bretty hot, good moans
>eventually continue this through video later
>perfect body, supple round tits, perfect pink nipples, tight and firm ass on a gorgeous body
>hottest memory is seeing her with her hand down her pants hopping slightly as she orgasms while standing up and shaking
>she only lives a bit away from me so we decide to meet up
>stay at a cheap shitty hotel, she wants to stroke me off
>let her, cum buckets, accidentally get a shot in my eye
>she is fascinated by my dick so she spend 20 minutes just laying her head on my hips watching my dick as she stroked it
>as i watched The Day Today, chapman baxter almost killed my boner because i was trying to not laugh
>end up going back home, possibility of entering a relationship together
>mfw i told her we didn't click as well as i hoped and she thought i just used her for some handjobs
i miss that body, but i also miss getting to watch The Day Today while receiving a handjob from a soft feminine touch.
>Second date with qt 3.14
>watching evil dead
>Go to kiss her but chicken out and kiss her forehead instead.
How autistic am I for a normie?
>>26569800
>>26569830
Where I am we have many Chinese persons who come to country for business. Rich and wanting to see naked girls. There was one who move to Russia for small time for company. He come to my place every day until he learn my time. Every night at work I come and he would be there with big smile and then he would pay to have me for all night. After many week he starts to ask me to marry him and I say no. But he keep doing this all the time and finally I have enough and tell bouncer that I do not want him. He is getting very scary.
SO they keep eye on him so he does not come to me and he is not happy. Then one night he come in and yelling in his CHinese. And he has mace! He is waving in air. No idea where he gets it. But he is very small man so bouncer grab his arm like childs and force him to ground. Police come and take him and he is still screaming. Never see him again. Someone tell me that he was fired because he was using company money but I do not know if it is true.
Was very scary.
>>26569982
that's autistic but kind of cute
some girls think it's cute when guys are nervous to kiss them, some hate itgood movie choice
>>26569986
Now that's the kind of story that I like. Do you want to leave Russia?
>>26569996
She said she thought it was adorable. I pretty much demanded she watch evil dead with me after I found out she had never seen it.
>>26570064
sounds like you got a good one, good luck anon
>be me
>work at library
>attractive older woman works in the there
>flirt with her for one night
>drink a bit at her place
>play with her tits, make out
>bretty good
>lust unsatisfied
>decide to go to a party with her
>drink and talk to all these people I didn't know, all of them at least a decade older than me
>go to her friend's room, make out, get a bj, and 69, was feeling pretty good, but we had been doing a lot of kissing and when she told me to burst in her mouth I could tell she was going to snowball
>not down for that
>just the thought of it kept me from cumming
>learning a lot about making a woman feel good
>didn't bring condoms, she could still get pregnant so we don't fuck, also tells me that it should be special
>take it to heart
>get a hand job and cum buckets, she complements me
still jack off to it to this day. I'm still young but I've been focusing on learning science to cure my older brother's disease so he has the same chance as me to experience what the world has to offer.
pic related. It's about the only thing I want right now, specially after seeing a vision while on acid about a virgin marriage being the best thing this world has to offer.
Also I basically used that woman and never talked to her again. Pretty sure she was fine with it
>first time sex with QT
>boner anxiety so trouble keeping card
>put condom on
>stick penis in vagina
>penis comes out
>no more condom
>condom now lost inside her vagina
I then had to finish it out with some tweasers because I rammed it up there pretty good.
>>26570096
We broke up actually. She was a good one though.
>be me
>15
>living in Oregon, recently moved from Alabama
>meet a nice girl from Georgia living here
>mfw qt3.14 southern belle
>start talking
>start texting
>eventually work up to having sex
>we meet in a secluded area in the place we normally like to hike
>she starts sucking my cock while I'm leaning back on a tree
>I turn her around and she grabs the tree trunk while I fuck her from behind
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>feeling like this is the greatest thing I've ever experienced, looking at this beautiful woman, and beautiful scenery
>look around a bit while fucking her
>see something rustle in the brush maybe 25 feet away
>see two cat eyes looking at me
>realize as it reveals its face it's a fucking mountain lion
>yell at her to pull her pants back up
>we run home
>do it again in a different wooded area
Fucking scary shit man, I didn't want to get mauled with my pants down.
>>26570054
I would like to leave one day yes.
>>26569382
Guess I will throw in my awkward experience of losing virginity:
>19 y/o
>go to a party with first gf and get smashed
>can not walk straight anymore and it is a huge distance to my house
>decide I will crash at her place, she does not mind
>get there and nearly kill myself when trying to peel off my shoes
>she half drags me up the stairs and we get in her room
>crash into the bed immediately
>she cuddles up besides me and we just stay like that for a few minutes
>she gets over me and starts tonguefucking my mouth out of nowhere
>respond aggressively in my drunken stupor, roll over on her and start bashing her tongue with mine
>during the fierce makeout session I notice more and more that we both are grinding on each other hard and could polish raw diamonds if you would put them between our crotches
>I still think that I got some cloth burns on my dick that day
>her hands wander to my belt and she starts tugging down my pants
>whispers: "Should I continue? I am on the pill."
>what heavenly words
>I do not respond because I am suddenly getting panicky, the fuck do you do in such a situation?
>she does not care anyway and I do not even notice how my pants are suddenly around my knees
>we readjust and her pants are suddenly gone aswell
>make out some more
>think that it is no time to pussy out now, guide her already searching hand downwards
>she guides me inside and I thrust carefully
>holy fuck thats tight
>nearly bust right there as she sharply pulls in the air besides my ear
>start pumping, a little bit too fast apparently
>I never thought that my dick is especially big, just plain and average
>but she constantly whispered "not so fast" and "careful" between jittering gasps
>it only got me harder desu
>enter animal mode, just pound that pussy while grabing those tits in a semi-violent fashion
>her legs contract hard for maybe ten thrusts and her pussy clenches
>fuuuck thats way too tight
>bust right there while letting out a painfully girly moan
>be teenage girl
>too autistic to form normal relations
>found out that dispensing pussy was a great way to get male attention
>be at party in someone's house
>trawling for guys
>one handsome guy is bored because his gf has passed out drunk
>my cue
>move in on him
>he responds as they do
>next thing we're out side kissing
>he wants to fuck
>pull of my pants, I sit on the front of a parked car
>drops his pants
>he starts thrusting
>CAR ALARM GOES OFF
>suddenly everybody from the party is outside in the street
>I am still half sitting up on the car, while he is between my legs with his pants still around his ankles
>his gf did not like
Luckily my reputation couldn't really get any worse.
>>26570240
>pump her full with my juice for what seems like an eternity
>stay like that and just cuddle for some time
>after something like 10 minutes I am rock hard again
>decide I want to do a round two
>push against her again
>she lets out a sound like she is in pain
>ask her whats wrong
>apparently it hurts now and she would rather not do it
>I am suddenly tired as hell and just cuddle up to her tits and fall asleep instantly
Damn I decided I would not fap for some time, this is certainly not helping
>>26570300
Wow your fucking gay ass story ruined what could have been a perfect screencap for the best story in this thread. Go home, loser.
>>26570358
For what purpose did that story need to be screencapped? It wasn't that fucking good. And even then you can just cut and paste the posts together in MS Paint and nobody would know.
>>26570300
>being this much of a roastie
Kill yourself before I have to call all the good christians on this board to stone you, adulterer.
>>26570396
I would know anon.
I would know.
It was the best story. It was all the dream story all anons wish they had, and then you came along with the worst one. RUINING the thread.
Shameful
>>26570402
Exactly, I don't know which is worse, Stacies or roasties.
>>26570402
YFWthis happened more than 20 years ago and in the meantime I even worked at a brothel but am now a important and executive employee in a large industrial company.
I'm also a single mom
>>26570477
Deal with Hell
>>26570402
>>26570442
>>26570503
Drifting off topic a bit here?
>be me
>go to bar
>have sex with roastie
>>26570539
please spread these images everywhere
>>26570477
Have fun burning in hell, you are a whore with lust I your heart, and greed fuels you. Accept Jesus Christ in your heart an perhaps he will forgive you.
>5 years ago
>had a boyfriend who wasnt allowed to have people over
>snuck in through window for a late night
>its been a while
> he starts going really hard
>my head is hitting the headboard
>my head goes right through the headboard
>its stuck and wont come out
>he starts to take apart bed while im naked and screaming in pain
>making shit ton of noise
>his mom walks in and starts screaming
>i start screaming
>everyone screams for icescream
>i pull my head through as hard as i can
>jump out window naked
>run all the way home
>never talked to him ever again
>have sex
>with woman
>in a bed
>have sex with homogeneous white wife
>in homogeneous white country
all is good in my life
>>26570578
God doesn't forgive Stacies and Roasties, not even Chads for that matter. God is furious that mankind is so easily influenced by the Devil. He will eliminate the garbage of this universe as an example to us all. They will experience unending suffering and torture.
Meanwhile us goodbois will get /comfy/ while God gives us all our hard-earned goodboi points
>Be 19
>My new Asian girlfriend invites me in her dorm.
>I sneak in without a problem (the dorm is girls only)
>we cuddle for a while
>I finally get to take her bra off and finger her
>She doesn't seems too comfortable, but I finger her harder.
>She finally accept to fuck
>It was really painful for her (virgin) but I go on anyway.
>I finnish and we cuddle for the rest of the night
>I've never slept better in my life (I was also really fucking stoned)
>After that we've fucked every night for 3 weeks.
>she went back to Japan, and I've never seen her ever since.
She really look like pic
>>26569550
See, that's the reason I tell people to not get crazy about sex.
If you idealise it too much and just rush it, you'll get a shit experience like that.
>>26570749
Asian girls are so perfect. White girls are just ticking timebombs, crazy roastie sluts who end up in brothels raising serial killers by themselves.
>>26570749
Oh and also, I consider myself very lucky to have lost my virginity with another virgin. I can confirm, it is not a meme. There is something magical about it.
>>26570781
I can't say that I agree. There is bad apple in all races anon.
I'm by no means a normie since this is literally the most normie thing That's happened to me:
>be 15yr old me, majorly into WoW because ayyy no friends irl
>was a main raider in my guild, one of the only members to take up dk when they became a thing
>we were trying kill LK at the time, would have been server first but two of our dps were gone
>skip to about 250 pulls, three days into progression
>I go to a starbucks to grab a coffee and call the raid leader
>we were discussing a strat when this super qt grill around my age steps over to my table and quietly sits down across from me
>is obviously a spy sent from a competing guild to steal my strats, fuckin whore
>i end the call and ask her what the fuck she wants
>"YOU'RE ON LICH KING?! WHAT THE FUUUUUCK MAN MY GUILD's BEEN STUCK ON DEATHWHISPER FOR FUCKIN AGES!"
>fuckin knew it, can't trust these hoes yafeel?
>"yeah we're competing for server first actually, we keep getting fucked in phase 2, you know how it is"
>"also my name's Anon... Nice to meet you!"
Alphaasfuck.zip
>she replied by asking what server and then extending a hand with "and I'm Jade by the way"
>I forget which server i was on but i wanna say tich or proudmoore, something like that
>skip ahead a bit, we exchange info and leave
>Jade and I become m8s, i got her into my guild as a trial and she soon got bumped to main roster
>got realm 2nd LK with us that week, at least i think we were 2nd i'm p sure no one else did it before us aside from the one group who got 1st kill
>Anyways she's excite, wants to celebrate so we meet irl at the same starbucks
>eventually go back to my house, dad not home so ayyyyy
>almost immediately go to my room, she pins me to my bed and kissed me
>starts undressing
>starts undressing me
>ohshit guys this is about to happen
>bra off..... And we have liftoff
>my little meatguy us awake, there's no stopping him now
>didn't have any condoms because ayyyy nerdy virgin
>>26570995
>she pulled up clutch with a, "don't worry just let me know when you're about to finish"
>well shit ight nigga
>we fucked, it was both our first time so it was a little awkward
>ended up lasting around 25min because of all the constant stopping and repositioning
>nothing to great to note, we both came.... I think?
>pull out game level: realm 2nd lich king
>we agreed that sex is enjoyable even though it brought her a little discomfort at first
Then we ended up in a 8yr relationship that ended recently. Have more stories but pretyped and more refined for just in case/therapy or whatever gay shit you wanna call it.
>>26570894
>disagreeing
>like it's an actual option at this point
I will green text my best day in 2015
>be at bar
>me and wingman hit on girls
>talk to hot 18yo( I'm 26; in my country you can drink with 18 and AoC is 16)
>see she likes me
>ask for number.doesn't give me her number but takes mine and tells me she will text me the next day
>after 18yo left see some creepy shitskin bothering some chubby redhair
>confront shitskin and he leaves, chubby thanks me
>go to next bar
>chubby is there too, starts flirting with me
>take her home
>we smoke cigs at the window and start to make out
>fuck her doggy at the open window, raw and cum on her ass
>she says she has to go home to her kids and husband
>go to sleep
>wake up in the aftertoon
>see text from 18yo
>text with her for hours
>in the eveing get a text from some asian exchange student I met 4 weeks earlier
>'I'm drunk and want sex.come over with condom'
>drive to asian girls dorm and fuck her
was a pretty good day
>>26570995
>>26571011
How the fuck do you forget your fucking server?
The forgotten coast was my main server back since it was made in 06.
>>26571086
This. You never forget your server. Burning Blade here.
>>26571115
>>26571086
Barthilas
>>26569382
>funny
Well, I lost my virginity without even expecting it
>making out
>clothes coming off
>just expecting advanced petting/groping/touching
>straddles my lap
>thinking dry humping
>she pulls underwear aside and impales herself
>this wouldn't have worked if she wasn't ridiculously fucking wet
>didntseethatcoming.png
Yeah, I'm not a smart man.
Other than that I can tell you about one night stands, my experiences in BDSM or about the one person I got to legitmake love to.
Or I could not. Idc.
>>26571132
barthilas!!!
my server too
>roastie
>have bf
>bf has periodontitis
>he always wants to eat me out
>i hate the feeling of getting eaten out and his mouth grosses me out (srsly look up periodontitis)
>one day I finally agree to let him eat me out after he begs me
>doesn't feel good at all
>next day get a UTI from his mouth bacteria
>MFW
>senior year of high school
>friends are throwing a party in the ''Forest of Death''
>bunch of kids show up including a slutty looking girl who doesn't even go to my school
>flame lights up inside of me and I realize that I just don't want to fuck her, I NEED to fuck her
>spend the entire night next to her, trying to flirt with her, listening to her bitch about her ex bf
>by the end of the party she's practically begging for my dick
>get her friends to stop by a somewhat secluded abandoned clinic so we can fuck
>strip down right then and there and do the dirty
>cant feel too much because of the alcohol but am satisfied purely on the emotional high
>keep thrusting away for 10 minutes before her friends start complaining that they want to leave
>figure I'm never gonna cum anyway so pull out and start putting the clothes back on
>something comes over me and demand that we trade underwear and shirts, she hands them over
>go home, play some vidya and fall asleep replaying the greatest night of my life over and over
2 hours later
>KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
>getting out of bed to see whats going on
>next thing I know 2 cops are in my room while all I'm wearing are a thong and an extremely tight shirt
>''Anon we were wondering if you'd come downtown with us to have a little talk with the detective''
>no idea what the fuck is going on but go anyway
>''Anon do you know why you're here ? Well I'm going to be blunt with you, we've received a report that you raped a girl earlier tonight ablah blah blah''
>''She claims that you and 3 other men took her out to a field and gang raped her. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way...''
>tell him everything that happened and list her friends as witnesses
>go home to pic related
>everything becomes crystal clear to me, the underwear and shirts, the ex bf, everything
>few days later am notified that I've been cleared
>turns out the clinic was an undercover child abuse help center and the entire thing was caught on their cameras
>>26571040
Maximum degeneracy
>18 with first gf
>decide to have a bath together in her parents room
>they have a pretty big bath so we decide to use it while they're out
>comes out in tiny bikini cause she's shy to be fully naked
>no idea why perfect body, supple tits, ass and dem hips
>get in bath she's being cute putting her feet on my lap
>footfag so i can't help but start to rub her feet
>start to suck on her toes and lick
>she keeps giggling
>see her put her hand in her bikini
>shes getting off and moaning while i suck on her toes
>hard as fucking rock
>keep sucking till i feel her toes curl in my mouth
>watch her while she cums hard, one hand in her bikini, one squeezing her tits
>she looks so flustered now
>can't hold it any longer get her on the floor
>doggystyle fucking her hard
>grabbing her ass hard while she moans
>cum buckets inside her raw
>cuddle her a little afterwards
Best sex of my life
>>26571317
>something comes over me and demand that we trade underwear and shirts
I can only understand this story if you meant something came over her.
>>26569913
Thanks for ruining it for all of us and i hope you die a slow and painful death
>>26571450
Oh, sorry. Thats what I meant
>>26571364
why?
when I'm in a relationship I'm faithful
I would never touch the girl of a friend of mine
when I'm single I fuck sluts
thats how men do it
>getting a handjob from a stripper fuck buddy
>I'm laying on the bed with my legs spread and she is sitting in between my legs
>she gave amazing handjobs, she knew how to edge/tease me and it had been about a week since the last time I ejaculated
>I can feel a volcanic eruption building up in my deck
>she finally decides to make me cum
>spray a Peter North-tier cumshot
>some of it hits the wall behind my head, most of it covers my face
>she starts laughing as I give myself a facial
>don't even care because it was one of the best orgasms of my life
>she licks it all off and we cuddle for awhile
>>26569382
>find some girl on chat
>meet the same or next evening, I don't remember anymore
>take her for a ride
>she's shit guide and we get lost so I just turn on GPS and take her to the lake
>she says it's beautiful because lanterns and water and night and shit
>we talk about stuff
>either she pretends or she really is scared of some animals crawling in the grass on the shore and stays close to me
>use the opportunity and grab her waist with my arm
>I sit on the grass, she sits between my legs
>she's babbling something about her ex while I start to massage her thigs, kiss the neck and squeeze boobs through clothes
>I suggest landing on the backseat of my car
>she's a bit hesistant but finally agrees
>we get naked
>I eat her out and finger her till she comes and squeezes my head with her thigs
>she's scared of penetration but quickly gives up when she feels my dick on her thigh
>I quickly put condom on
>try to enter her
>can't because I'm only semi-hard because I didn't know I'd have sex that day and I fapped like 5-7 times day before, it was fucking hot and I was thirsty, and I put the condom too fast
>she quickly finished me off with hand
>I drive her home but 2 days after she cuts contact because I was too cold after not being satisfied with my performance that night
Well, she wasn't my type anyway.
