Game theory.
You get one ticket, one stuttering blind-pick film reel in a half-empty cinema called life; you could walk out into the cold night before the end, but you might miss the bit where the plot starts to pull itself together, or sneak into the premium seats before the usher kicks you out.

use it to choke yourself while you jerk off

>>26565962
Nobody here cares about you, nobody here loves you. Talk to your friends and family about this. If you don't have friends or family, then yeah, fucking kill yourself.

you'll probably fuck it up, the rope will snap after you've been out for a while but not long enough to kill you. you'll wake up in a hospital or lying on the floor, except you'll now be retarded and under suicide watch

>>26566371
How would that happen, and why wouldn't the knot on your neck still stay tight enough to keep you dead?

Of course, this is all assuming the person has several hours undisturbed.

dont forget to look up

>>26566413
you need the gravity to crush the windpipe

>>26566285
damn dude, that shit was deep. you make it up?

>>26566285
this is how I think too

>>26566507
Nope, you want a neck-break for an execution-style death.

Anything significantly less than an eight or so foot drop and you'll kick the stool and jerk around like a line-caught salmon for five to ten minutes.

There are charts for bodyweight to drop ratio for a clean execution on Wikipedia, as they are historical, and in some cases standing legal guidelines.

>>26566578
that's well and good, but OP's noose is in the room so I don't think that is possible, unless he tries to do it outside which would then make it more likely someone finds him and stops him before he does it anyway

>>26565962
This is something I've always wanted to do. Go find your nearest isolated community of Eskimos and bring guns, food, etc. and teach them some made up bullshit ways. Give them all guns and win them over, and form a militia of eskimos with guns. Then, when you've armored them and hopefully banged a qt eskimo girl because who else is there, forcefully invade a neighboring eskimo village or town and unite the two tribes. Continue like this until you've united enough eskimos. Not all of them are going to have guns, but a few should be okay. After you've united these eskimos, claim yourself as king of the eskis. At this point you should've have civilized them and introduced them to anime and modern "culture". Then, just for shits and giggles, kill yourself in front of them as a sacrifice to them, and tell them to keep your legacy alive by uniting all the eskimos under your flag. Your descendants will look back at you with pride that their father united the eskimos. It'd be pretty hard honestly but I think you could do it, would be hella fun.

>>26566511
>>26566573

Honestly, I'm just stoned.

It can open certain creative channels into the realms of talking a lot of highly enthusing bollocks.

>>26566675
it was actually really good. you should try your hand at poetry/writing.

>>26566621
Yes, this delineates the choice quite neatly between "Die in a manner most protracted and unglamorous" and "pirate some cartoons and see if you can score some mind altering chemicals"

>>26566738
Thanks, I do.
However, I also get told that I talk like a book.

If I really talked like a book I would like to talk like Chaucer.

>>26566285
Forgive my idiocy but what is sneaking into the premium seats a metaphor for?

>>26566815
Comfort through material acquisition, the usher represents the peril innate in the chance of failure, and the consequences of risk.

>>26565962
because i want to talk to you anon

If there is any hope that you life will improve, then I'd avoid it, but if you know for your life is ruined, you can only delude yourself into believing something better lies ahead.

That's how I manage.

>>26566978
why do you want to talk to him but not me?
what makes you choose one over the other?
do you not realize the pain you bring into the world simply by virtue of your selectivity?
I bet you think you're a good person too
well damn now I'm going to kill myself because no one talks to me
see you later a l l i g a t o r

I have suicide on my back burner.

If everything fails, I choose it.
I became extremely suicidal 10 years ago, and have been holding on ever since. So far some things have gotten better, and a lot of nice things have happened, but it's still there in the back of my head... just waiting for me.

It's my way out.
Sadly enough, the one thing that upsets me the most and pushes me to the edge is women. I am so lonely. I realize I don't NEED one in my life, but it would be great to have one.

>>26567338
How old are you exactly?

>>26567338
I am 27.

>>26565962
because you could go trans and it would be another hole I could use

>>26566622
tryhard: the post

nobody thought this was funny or creative. What are you? 16?

Send it to me so I can use it. You're just wasting it by letting it sit in your room.