>find the biggest, most intimidating inmate
>become his bitch
>gain protection at the low price of having your asshole reuglarly pounded

Let's get the inevitable out of the way.
Why?

>>26448305
Weld your boipussy up shut so Jamal and Tyrone don't try anything in the showers

Stretch out your boipucci with big toys so you don't get hurt on the inside.

Maybe hire a male prostitute and learn how to take big cocks in your mouth and ass.

What are you in for and how long?

>>26448305
For what and for how long?

File: attachment[1].jpg (61 KB, 418x566) Image search: [Google]

61 KB, 418x566

Those anti-rape devices from africa, Just coat the barbs with shit like the punji spike traps

>>26448305
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8A85cl5w3s

>>26448305
first things first, are you white or black?

>>26448305

Jail is very different from prison. Jail is where you get held for a weekend because you were drunk or hitting your girlfriend, until you are set free while the system works (and probably brings you back in later).

PRISON, on the other hand, is where you go when you've actually (usually) been convicted of something, and legit fucked up. Prison is where you go when you will be removed from society for an extended period of time.

You could give your ass to Tyrone, or you could ally yourself with whatever ethnic group you're a part of. This takes care of itself very quickly. You'll know what to do if you want to stay alive. You probably won't have much choice about the appropriate course of action, if in fact you are going to prison.

If it's something truly unspeakable, you may be eviscerated. This happens. They, even they, hate that.

>>26448305
Learn to suck a mean dick

>>26448336
>>26448359
>>26448355
I ran an anime streaming site that got seized by the FBI last year. My lawyers says I can expect 6-10 years.

>>26448423
half black, half columbian

>>26448475
Well you did nothing terrible so the other prisoners won't be looking for pseudo retribution.

6 years is going to suck though, hope you like reading.

Watch Orange is the new black

>>26448475
kek, I can only imagine it was loli

>>26448475
workout, learn to fight, keep your mouth shut, don't become anyone's bitch

if you don't defend yourself then you will get no respect, you will become a cum dumpster that gets passed around for 10 years

>>26448305

>all these opinions without anyone asking you what you did

>>26448359 oh ok

>>26448475
Couldn't you have at least gotten arrested for something cool? Then you could have played on that whole 'dangerous loner' thing and maybe got a girlfriend out of it.

Now people are just gonna laugh at you.

Defend yourself against everything and affiliate yourself with a gang, It's highschool all over again, ignoring will just signal weakness so it doesn't matter how stupid or insignificant what another prisoner is doing to you you have to fuck him up, even if you get beaten up at least people know that they can't step over you

>>26448506

>Well you did nothing terrible so the other prisoners won't be looking for pseudo retribution.
>anime streaming
>what's the chance it's not loli

kek OP is a pedo

>>26448534
>>26448659
nothing like that, but piracy is a serious offense in my country

>>26448683
10 years for that? Shit man if that was the case in my country I would have life in prison

>>26448331
This, it's the only guaranteed way to stay safe.

>>26448683
Where the fuck do you live?

I don't buy this story unless you live in Japan.

jail is a joke unless you live in a shithole, every is there just to do their time and don't act like a bitch and you'll do fine.

I went to jail and all I did was lay in bed all day and didn't talk to anyone and no on cared

>>26448683

>be pirate 500 years ago
>fight other pirates with swords and muskets
>loot booty
>get salmonella
>cruise the pacific
>get caught and hanged

>be pirate today
>host loli streaming website
>get caught and serve 6-10 years
>get butt raped every day

kek

>>26448712
My lawyer was able to convince the judge that I'm a good boy who didn't do anything