>be catholic
>go to church one day
>see literally the most attractive qt in my entire life there
>she's doing all the responsorials correctial and singigng the hymns from memory
>work up nerve to go up to her after and explain that she's the prettiest girl I've ever seen and that I'd like to take her on a date
>she's feminine, sweet and understanding even though I'm stammering
>get her number
>she becomes my gf
>never been happier
Meanwhile, atheists have to cross their fingers for a fat harridan with 6 dormant strains of HPV
>>26401230
But are you having sex with her?
>be christfag
>be 10:1 gril to dude ratio at church
>too guilty to pick up church grils
they probably all think i'm a homo
>>26401339
Yeah but she has misgivings about it
>>26401230
>Be Occultist
>Sit around in a dim room reading copies of ancient tomes and grimmoires
>Commune with the Lords of Hell for advice
>Even they can't get me a gf
>And I quote:
>Holy shit Anon, we're not miracle-workers
What's even worse is that if I kill myself, it's going to be really awkward in Hell.
>>26401506
Nice. You're allowed to brag then.
>>26401506
>be me, atheist
>10/10 girlfriend, fucking sexy as fuck, perfect tits, height, skin, intelligence, personality,
>girlfriend is an atheist
>fuck her senseless, in her sleep, in many positions, anal, BJ,HJ, fingering, anal (<3), raw, creampie
>girlfriend and I have no misgivings because we're athiest
>pays to be an atheist because god doesn't exist, betas are christians because they 'devote' themselves to an unknown, disproven diety that submits women and children to men
>tmw atheist and 0 problems
>tmw gfs atheist and loves fuckin
>OP, you beta ass fuck
>>26401230
Did I get in before all the triggered atheists?
>>26401230
>be catholic
kys papist
>>26401451
I think my church friends see me as a closet fag or they know I am autistic
>>26401631
>Protestant
kys heretic
>>26401694
>unironically being a cuck to the pope
top jej
>>26401748
>unironically following Martin Luther
>"u can get to heaven if u just believe, man"
o am i laffin
Protestants are literally only a step above "Spiritualist" scum.
>>26401627
Trying a little too hard m8
>religion
>church
>Catholicism
>>26401230
Does God watch me cry myself to sleep?
>>26401902
>the man in Rome told me to believe this so I do
>>26401902
>a man with a big hat told me to do a thing, so i did the thing
cuck
>>26401536
This made me kek out of originality
>>26402086
>>26402086
>doesn't have the substance of communion that forms the core of worship and theology
>b-b-but we hold bible study more often!
Literally the Reddit of Christianity
>>26401230
Get the fuck out of this board you fucking normie.
>>26401627
This is the most embarrassing post I've seen in a while
>>26401627
I'm unaware of any instances where any deity was disproved.
Enjoy your slutty heathen gf I guess.
>>26402471
>doesn't have the substance of communion that forms the core of worship and theology
You mean the pants-on-head-retarded belief that the bread and wine literally become the body and blood of Christ?
>>26401694
>implying I'm not orthodox
Catholics are worse than protestants, but only because cathloics embrace heresy with open arms where at least some protestants still have the balls to tell fags and whores to go fuck themselves in hell.
>>26402471
You mean the Eucharist? That thing every protestant church has?
>>26402086
>And on this rock you shall build my church
>my church
>CHURCH
>not a bunch of churches with varying beliefs and weird new age fruity shit
>>26401230
>>26401627
Hi, I heard this is the "made up stories and general autism from christfags and fedoreddits alike" thread :DDD
>>26402670
Catholic here.
"Substance of Communion" means the Transsubstantiatio - that the bread and wine becomes the host of Christ. Protestants believe it is just symbolic or a memorial - essentially protestant "eucharist" is a meaningless ritual, not a legitimate sacrament.
>>26401694
>he thinks a doctrine first put into place in 1870 is canon law
>worship dead desert jew on a stick
>go to a building dedicated to said jew
>see a qtpi
>she has some fanfiction memorized that some roman statesman/writer jotted down a thousand years ago
>talk to her
>"y-you are the p-p-p-prettiest thing g-god has c-created"
>she gives me number out of pity
>go on date
>talk about my autistic obsessions
>she becomes gf out of pity
>>26402830
Damn, that girl needs the D.
>>26401230
Your religion is literally founded on cucking m8
