>tfw you were more intelligent and perceptive as a kid than you are now
It's called depression. It fucks up your brain and makes your former mastermind merely a shadow of its past self.
>>26386943
I once thought that as well, but I realized that I was just accumulating mental trauma year after year so being more perceptive near the beginning would make sense
>>26386965
Yea find a way to fix it and you'll be back to your old self in no time.
I took a nice self healing journey and cut back on everything raping my dopamine and now I have the greatest urge to modify things. I'm diving back into my old hobbies too.
>>26386965
How the fuck do you get out of it. I went on antidepressants, not even SSRIs and they made me braindead.
>>26386965
yeah I know. But it gives me really really bad feels.
it's like I live in a world where everything is artificial , like a showroom suburb
>>26386943
I used to have philosophical thoughts as a kid and thought I was special for having these thoughtsit was probably just my narcissism
>>26386996
Everything probably is artificial
We can shape the universe us you with programming and circuit boards
We can create shitty universes within our own with Polygons and textures
I can happily coexist with chocolate so I dont question our universe. I'm happy with my chocolate.
I can't enjoy anything now because everything seems pointless and less interesting.
>>26386943
>tfw you were more friendly and outgoing as a kid because you haven't learned how mean people can be yet
>>26386943
You know how everyone told you that it will get better? How once you get a degree and a job everything will fall into place? How you just need to be yourself and good things will happen to you?it's all a lie
>>26387042
I walked past my kindergarten before and I was overwhelmed by memories of such rich experiences. Everything in life was so fucking fascinating and wonderful. The smallest things. Playing the drums, a new instrument for the first time, looking at the moon and wondering how something so magical could be real. What happened? what the fuck happened?
>>26387076
We grew up, man.
>>26387043
I just look back on my photos as a kid and how happy I looked. My grandmother only had one photo of me and it was when I was at my happiest, somewhere around 5 to 6 years old. Then I developed the long emo hair and stopped opening my mouth to smile and trying to do the closed mouth smirk with dead eyes.
>tfw will never have girls chase you on the playground again as an innocent kid dreaming of your aspirations
>>26387076
Well, by this time we're supposed to be overwhelmed by shit like having a child and getting promoted to an important job, and we all know that's never going to happen.
>>26386965
or maybe we burned twice as bright in our younger years and now the flame has gone out in half the time
>>26387109
I was happiest around 6th grade, before I moved schools and the bullying and social isolation set in.
>tfw for 2 weeks I actually broke out of depression, probably for the first time in my life
>tfw my mother dragged me back down
I hate you.
>>26387213
I don't think anyone can drag you into depression but yourself
>>26387213
What did your mother do?
>>26387243
No, other people can be genuine shits who worsen your mental disorders.
>>26387168
Or maybe the flame wasn't really burning at all. It was just an illusion created by your young and naive mind.
I though i was alone on this one...I feel like i was so fucking smart, expecially the last year of high school...Now i feel like i'm retarded, failing uni and such...I would like to be smart like the good old days...
i quit making an effort to be smart but for a good reason:
>am male
>white
>4'11"
>120lb
>one eye
>highly myopic
>hearing aids
>severe hearing loss
>speech impediment
i used to have such passion for music, writing and history. in 3rd grade my mom fought to have me skip a grade because i had scored so high on standardized tests. now i could give a fuck less and just stay home all day every day except to get weed. i moved to cali just because i kept getting ripped off when trying to get weed in my home state. i was in a band, but bandmates considered me a social liability because of my utter retarded existence. so i sold all of my instruments and now just play minecraft or euro truck simulator 2 all day inbetween naps and pasta and long hot showers.
at least most of you are still socially viable.
>>26388043
fuck dude. I'm sorry
>>26386943
Were you also kind of cynical with a twisted sense of humor?
>>26388492
>Were you also kind of cynical with a twisted sense of humor?
well, yeah. i grew up on pee wee herman and had unfettered access to HBO and Cinemax. Grade school me knew every line, every scene of Temple of Doom.
>>26386943
I was much more eloquent when I was 13yo than I am now, nowadays I stutter all the time and sometimes people don't even understand what I'm trying to say at all
>tfw younger self was retarded and had no self awareness
>spend everynight cringing
