>at a friend's small house party
>cute girl across from you sitting alone on a couch
>she makes eye contact with you
>stand up and walk towards her
>"__________________________."
What's your opening line in this situation, r9k?
>>26365312
>"Do you watch my little pony"
I'd ask her if she wants a drink
>>26365312
>mochi mochi, anon desu
Cheesey dopey shit " I don't believe we've met"
nice dubs babe
>>26365663
Doesn't that just comes off as you're trying to get her drunk?
Specially in an environment where the drink is free and she could get up and get one herself.
"Did you know pineapples grow out of the ground and not on a tree?"
>>26365663
She's sitting there with a glass in her hand, as literally anyone who has ever been to a house party ever does.
Do you even normie?
>Hey. :)
That's all. Not in any sense that would connote expectation to have a chat, either.
If I don't have anything interesting to say, then I shall say nothing. If I have something interesting e.g. re. the music, or the number or clothing of people in the room, or the books, or anything, I will say that. But I won't try to sound interesting. Sounding friendly and in charge of oneself, and self-conscious, is much better than trying too hard.
>are you done fucking me with your eyes?
>>26365810
>>26365800 here, best one ITT so far.
selling rune scim 25k
>>26365824
Thank you, although that isn't saying much.
>>26365800
>Hey :)
>Hi!
Well then what do you say after she says hi? Ball is in your court again, back at zero.
You just come with things on the spot like music or clothing?
It doesn't matter what you say. No one-liner can save you if you can't keep talking after that.
I'd probably say something like
>why alone?
Or
>friends drunk?
And then just keep asking where she's from and the usual bullshit that works just fine most of the time. After all, if she doesn't likes me physically then there's no way anything happens so I could try relaxing a just chat.
I got this OP.
"Hey...... I'm anon" You say as you offer your hand for her to shake whilst smiling (your friendliest smile) and looking into her eyes. If she's not a complete autist she'll do the same. Smile and shake your hand and she'll tell you her name. "Oh hi, I'm Stacey".
You then sit down beside her, as close as you can, practically touching (but not in a creepy way, just thigh-to-thigh but not tightly, just graze her thigh). You do this because it's a party, there is music and it's loud and you want to hear her and you don't want Chad sitting between you or joining in your private conversation.
So that's about 4 seconds to do all of the above. Once you've done that you're in. Simple as that.
From there you say "I'm friends with [Insert the name of the host you know] I know him/her from [Insert where you met the host, if you work with him/her or if you are in the same class]."
Again, if she's not a complete autist, she'll say "Oh cool you guys are on the same course? That's awesome. I know him/her from [Wherever she knows them from].
You now have 2 options of conversation.
1. You talk more about how you know the host. i.e. we worked together in a group project
2. You ask the girl follow up questions about how they know the host. "Oh so you were childhood friends? Nice. Were you guys always friends or what? I mean, at what age did you guys become close"
At the end of her answer, she'll hopefully have something interesting to say (which will allow you to ask more questions) or have a question of her own. If she has a question, then you just b urself and say what comes to mind. Don't try to make stupid jokes or use pickup lines or any of that shit. Just don't even think about it. It's a sure fire way of being labelled a creepy rapist.
Just keep it simple, she's as anxious as you are about this social situation. Make it easy for her and you'll make it easy on yourself. Make eye contact when she's speaking and nod to indicate you're listening.
>>26365312
Ayy u got a light? Im the only fucker here smoking weed.
If she doesnt have one its a 180&walk
>>26365810
Male-feminist version:
>eye-rape me again and i'll fucking report you
>>26365942
>mfw I got that part down
>til I run out of basic questions and stare blankly at my feet
Why do they expect us to carry all the conversation and make all the questions, fuck.
>>26365312
>implying I'm not such a pussy I'd just sit there hoping she'd come over to me
although if I was somehow confident enough to go over, I'd probably say something like
>hey, what are you doing on your own?
>1v1 me scrub
>>26365312
''Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour?''
>>26366020
Well what would you talk to anyone about? You know, you don't HAVE to talk non-stop 24/7. Just treat it like you're sitting with your mum, your brother, your best friend, or think as if you were making a thread on 4chan (an interesting one, not a meme thread).
It's okay to sit back, relax, enjoy the music, sip your drink. Have a look around the room. Sooner or later one of you will have something to say. Just cling to whatever it is and talk the shit out of that one glimmer of a topic.
>>26366024
>>26365929
"I didn't come here alone, I came here with 6 of my friends including the one sitting next to me right now"
>>26365312
>What's uporiginal comment you dumb robot nigger
>>26365942
This is laughable m8.
Have you ever seen an autist on the internet make a post, describing move-for-move how they would hypothetically beat someone in a fight, somehow predicting every action their opponent would make?
This is the social equivalent.
>down to fuck?
>sure
Walk her up to the bedroom and fuck her silly.
>>26366185
FUCK OFF NORMIE it was helpful to read move-for-move some people can't process that social garbage on the fly, fucking chad go get laid or something jeez.
>>26365760
You sound like a bretty cool guy, would bro out with at a social event tbqh familia
>>26365760
What the actual fuck they sprout from the ground like this?
Nature is crazy
>>26366185
i actually found it helpful
sometimes it takes a step-by-step account rather than just generic "be yourself, relax etc." comment
>>26366253
holy fuck
my mind is blown
>>26365312
ok first of all
A: If you have friends you are a fucking normie and need to die
B: if you go to parties you are a normie and need to die
C: if you make eye contact with cute girls you are a normie and need to die
D: If you walk up to cute girls and talk to them you are a normie and need to die
F: F is for Fuck you normie get off this board
>>26366282
It's a hypothetical situation brobot I was just daydreaming about being invited to parties.
So if one day god forbid I get invited, I will think of the replies from this thread and hopefully know what to say or do.
You don't have to be such a bully.
>>26366168
I get overtly attracted to the side friend, basically turn into an over the top pepe le pew, ask her to marry me, that kind of stuff. I've done this a bunch and it's funny as hell.
1. Once the first girl sees how much fun I'm having with the second girl, she usually wants to be part of the fun. Then, I've got two girls on my dick at the same time.
2. Even if the first girl still wants nothing to do with me, I've still got the second girl.
3. This is fun as fuck, so even if the second girl doesn't want anything to do with me she'll usually laugh and give me a gold star for trying. Then I can leave and take some positive emotions with me.
>>26366421
>she'll usually laugh and give me a gold star for trying
hopy mommy gives you your tendies tonight, you've been a good boy anon
>>26365312
I don't approach her. I let her come to me.
you: greay party
her: blablabla
you: blablabla
>>26365312
>"Hi, have you ever watched 1guy1jar?`"
>>26366895
As if that would ever work in the history of ever
Girls NEVER approach
>>26365312
>friend
Not possible
>going to a party
Not possible
>eye contact with anyone I don't know
Not possible
>wilfully approaching a stranger
Not possible
>>26366421
thanks for giving me another reason to be glad i'm not a woman
I'm sure i wouldn't even walk over to her.
I assume i have no chance, and just want to go home.
>>26365738
only if your a creep
>>26366973
W-whats 1 guy 1 jar.
Hey, you're X's friend, right?
X = very generic name
>>26365760
>>26366253
Did you know the reason eating pineapples makes your gums hurt is that pineapple contains an enzyme that breaks down proteins. The pineapple EATS YOU
>>26367178
What does "creep" mean in this content?
>>26365868
Buying gf 3k
>>26365312
>stand up and walk towards her
THATS where you're wrong.
>>26365868
>not "Glow1:Wave:selling rune scim 25k"
>>26367593
THat's fucked up but I also hear it makes your cum taste sweet if you eat it.
Is it eating your semen protein?
>>26365663
You can get knotted, I'm not buying someone I don't know a drink.
>>26366938
>greay party
Hi I'm frack
>"Hi, I'm Anon. What's your name?"
And then before she answers I'll internally cringe, walk away and leave the party because I obviously said it weird, or walked towards her weirdly or I could've worded it better or she wasn't even looking at me in the first place why did I walk away now she thinks I'm even more of an idiot fuck and why the fuck am I even at a party I promised myself I'd never go to a party ever again fuck help me
You're starting to creep me out, you loner.
Gonna come back here and hack us all up to bloody bits?
ha ha
>>26366253
You can actually grow a pineapple plant in your house by cutting off the bush of the berry (yes, pineapple is technically a berry), and then planting this cutting into a big pot. Your house doesn't even need to be tropical-like warm to accommodate it, but warm at least.
Most people who grow the plant just use it as an ornament, but you can actually "make" it produce fruit like in the pic by some weird but easy method I can't remember.
>>26365312
"Would you like to meet my friend, Dolphin Dollars?"
>pull out oven mitt with oogly eyes glued onto it
(Yes. I have an oven mitt with oogly eyes glued onto it.)
>huh, normies amirite?
>>26365312
Yo gurl cum shit on my chest
>>26365312
>"DIES IRAE DIES IRAE'
>>26366253
disgusting, im never eating anana's again
