>be me, 16, five years ago
>one saturday, at home doing homework
>get text from this girl the year above me in school, know her because she's on the same bus as me
>tells me that her friend (lets call her Sandra) really likes me xD and was wondering if I felt the same
>at the time Sandra was a 5/10 tomboy. Big into boxing and football and rugby.
>had passable tits but virtually no ass
>at first glance you would probably think she was a trap, unless you knew otherwise
>think to myself "What's the worst that could happen? This...female...wants to take my kissless card and maybe more so why the fuck should I say no?
>at the same time I consider the possibility that this is some trap being set up by the Chads in the year above me to make a fool out of me
>the friend texts me to say that Sandra would be over at her house that evening
>fuck it, tell her I'll be there
>Have a shower, put on decent clothes, fix my hair. Tonight is the night boys.
>Convince my dad to drive me to her house, I told him some friends were having a get together.
>Arrive at house
>Fortune favours the brave; it's just my friend and Sandra, nobody else there, not even parents
>Get talking for a while, just random shit about school and whatnot. Sandra extremely nervous, just flicks through her phone the whole time
>Friend's dog comes into the room. Huge German Shepaherd. Friendly enough but very cautious of me because he hasn't seen me before
>Friend says: "I gotta go and bring Sammy for his walk...it'll give you guys some time to get to know each other xD"
>As she leaves the room she mouths "go for it" to me
2/2
>Just me and Sandra now. In the kitchen.
>She stays flicking through her phone. Start to wonder if this bitch is socially retarded or just awful fuckin nervous
>I muster up all my strength to conceal my rising power level and start to flirt
>She puts down the phone. I start to assault her with compliments. She's lapping it up.
>Start to run my fingers through her hair. My 16 year old penis is diamonds already.
>She moves from her chair and straddles me
>holyfuckitshappening.gif
>In a moment of alpha, lift her up and push her against the fridge, her legs wrapped around my waist
>slowly put her down, maintaining eye contact the whole way through
>think to myself "this is going well"
>decide to go a step further
>AUTISM: ENGAGED
>a brutal elixir of autism and alpha course through my arteries
>push my body right up against hers, put my hands up her jumper, right on her bra, lean into her ear, lick it and whisper "I want to fuck you sideways" to her in an unintentionally creepy voice
>WHAT THE FUCK ANON!
>shes freaking out, screaming and shit, calling a pervert and a wierdo and says that I'm gonna end up being a rapist
>won't shut the fuck up. I don't know what to do
>hear deep barks coming up the hall
>friend must be back from walk, or else hadn't left yet
>shit
>German Shepherd bounds into the kitchen
>sinks his teeth into my lower leg and won't let go
>the pain was fuckin intense, try to fight him off but it's no use. Sandra still going crazy.
>friend comes in and manages to pull him off
>had to go to hospital for a tetanus injection and get bandaged up
>Sandra and friend told their entire social circle about the incident, and then the entire year, both hers and mine, found out.
>Laughing stock for roughly 2 weeks afterwards.
>Both wound on leg and soul have healed since then
Share your embarrassing stories
>be me 16 at movies with grill
>we are really alike so she gets really comfortable with me and lays on me and stuff
>I stroke her hair and hold her hand
>we go get ice cream afterward
>drop plastic spoon on the ground so I have to get another onewere still dating for 4 years soon
>>26342975
Then why the fuck are you posting here?
>>26342975
OMG so cringy xdddddd
>>26342902
>>26342913
So much autism. She was a bitch to freak out like that though.
>>26342975
End your life.
>>26342913
>lean into her ear
>lick it
>lick
>ear
Bump I need some juicy greentext
>>26342902
>Fortune favors the brave/bold
When people tell you that, remember that the guy who said that died within a few hours of doing so.
>be me, 17
>be out with my normie friends
>one friend (let's call him Bob) asks us to go with him to his grandma's to get some documents for his mother
>go at grandma's
>grandma is paralyzed, on a wheelchair in living room but totally sedated, she can't talk and only moves her eyes in a random manner
>while we're there her caregiver goes on the terrace to smoke a cig
>Bob goes to other room to get documents, then goes to grandma's basement to get us some juice
>Me and other friend have a brilliant idea while we're alone with unresponsive grandma
>Pull down our briefs and go full helicopter-dick mode
>REEEEEEE
>Finish doing that autistic thing before friend and caregiver come back in
>When we leave grandma's home friend tells us his family suspect that the caregiver steals stuff from the house, so his parents installed hidden cameras
>Panic
>Let's hope they they won't look at footage while we were there.gif
>After a week Bob's parents call my parents
>Big meeting at Bob's house: my friends and our families
>Bob's parents show footage of us being autistic
>I want to die
Bob's parents threatened to press charges against us for harassment, but in the end we managed to get away with our parents not letting us go out for a month.
Bob stopped going out with us.
6 years have passed and he still pretends not to see me when I bump into him around town.
>>26344190
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
WHAT TEH FUCK ANON
>be me, 17
>going out with 7/10 16yrold virgin grill
>after a month we decide to have sex
>finally plan sex day at my house, when my parents are away
>since she's a virgin, the day before I decide to show her some porn so that she doesn't feel awkward and knows the basics of handling cock
>send her a couple links via Facebook chat
>average stuff, nothing rough, male on female vaginal intercourse
>she tells me she has to go and that she looks forward to next day
>see she's still online after 20 mins
>decide to send her a double fisting BDSM video as a joke, just to see how she reacts
>she had forgotten to log out and left the tab open while her mom was using the computer
>mom sees chat notification
>clicks on link
>"I'm 7/10's mom. You're DISGUSTING. I don't understand why you're sending her these links but you must STOP right now or I'll report you to the police. NEVER try to contact my daughter again"
>the sex never happened
>fapped all night to double fisting BDSM
JUMPMAN JUMPMAN JUMPMAN THEM BOYS UP TO SOMETHING
REEEEEEEEEEEE
>being me
>on walk with gothical qtpey2tu
>buy doritos
>eat doritos
>why you will no kiss me
>lack of answers
>2 weeks after it ends
>all because of doritos
>>26344190
wow just kill yourself
>Be me, 10-12 or some shit
>At school, in class, no teacher for some reason
>There was a "pulling pants down" trend for some reason, it basically became a war
>Stupid ass autistic bitch, let's call her Bitchtina, is in a war with some other dude.
>I'm talking shit in front of the WHOLE CLASS being autistic as fuck.
It was from a time where I wasn't a robot and probably this event is the one that made me into one.
>Then Bitchtina goes right behind me, confuses me with some dude.
>Pulls my pants down....with my shorts.
>Little undeveloped willy makes an appereance
>Everyone laughs
>Pull my shirt down to cover, then pull my pants up.
>Get sick, don't go to school, wanted to die.
>nobody said anything about it, probably the teacher said not to talk about it.
>Years have passed and somebody once tried to explain it to new classmates, and I wanted to kill them but nowadays I laugh at the event.
I still hate bitchtina cause next year she threw a hot cup noodles at me, because I called her a bitch. Anyways that's another story for another post
>>26344352
that last line was the best part
