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/r9k/, how do I get someone to kill me? I don't want to
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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/r9k/, how do I get someone to kill me? I don't want to kill myself and I don't want to aggravate someone to get them to kill me. I want to die in a "socially acceptable" way that looks like an accident, like getting hit by a drunk driver.
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>>26308289
Walk to the far end of a driving range by accident and let the golf ball hit you in the head.
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Hire an assassin
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>>26308344
That just looks like negligence on my part, I doubt anyone would care if I died like that.
>>26308351
I'm poor AF, don't think that will happen
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>>26308402
>I doubt anyone would care if I died like that.
isn't this what you're going for?
or are you just looking for more attention in death? fucking kill yourself
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>>26308698
Not really looking for attention, just words of kindness.

Some normie at my uni was killed by a drunk driver and everyone started pretending to know him and held services for him and stuff. Even if the uni doesn't pick it up, I wouldn't mind just having people pretend to know me.
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>>26308289
Call 911 and say you are suicidal, then grab knife for when police come. They will shoot you on the spot if you have a knife, it is a really cool way to commit suicide.
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>>26308289
Dress up as a tranny and walk through a ghetto
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>>26308698
And to explain the greentext
I mean that if I kill myself, nobody will give a shit. If it's an "accident" suddenly people seem to care
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>>26308900
You're not suicidal.
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>>26308924
Suicide by cop is not something people would hold services for
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Loosen your brakes.
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Wait for your country to go to war and join as infantry. You'll likely be killed by a violent mud.
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>>26308965
Probably this
>>26309007
I'd need something to happen to me "in the community"
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>>26308900
>just words of kindness.
You had me on your side until this.
I can understand having someone kill you so you don't have to worry about the post-mortem worldy repercussions of suicide but that's just, there's a certain quota of feels to be had to want something that trivial in your wake.
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Join the military. Get deployed in a war torn area, go on suicide missions until you die.
Thread replies: 16
Thread images: 1

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