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When was the last time you were happy? I mean truly happy.
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When was the last time you were happy?

I mean truly happy.
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I can't remember.

I feel sick with myself now.
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Never to be honest famly

I remember little of my childhood and what I do remember was either depressing or inconsequential
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>>26081915
Why does it hurt this much?

Tell me how to stop it. Please
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Honestly I don't know.

Thinking back on it, a lot of my childhood was very flat. I got angry a lot, but thats the only major emotion I can remember feeling consistently.

I think the closest I was to be really happy was in the 6 month period between High School ending and when I started my first year of uni. I had a very small group of friends who hung out at one guy's apartment all the time, just shooting the shit drinking and playing video games. They all got girlfriends and we've never been that close since. I haven't had a serious conversation with another person in the 5 years since then. I still keep in contact but its always just superficial nothingness with them now.

I miss those carefree days.
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Before I was truly self-aware so probably 8 years old.
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can you believe that when I was 12 years old I had a gf? seriously, me, a 23yo NEET with repulsive face, weak body, anxiety attacks and helium tank, I actually had a gf when I was 12
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Honestly a few months ago. I had a comfy job after a few years of hard outdoor good for the soul work. No outgoing money and a date lined up with a girl I actually quite liked and lived only a few houses away.

I fell for her. She absolute hates my guts now for no reason at all, my dog died and the jobs gone to shit but November was great.
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>>26081903
Don't think I ever was tbqh
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>>26082198
please
>>>/soc/
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>>26081903
I know it will sound horribly edgy, but it was two years back, when one of my friends took me to some demonstration I even did not care about and shit went wrong and rioting started. It lasted for next three hours, throwing rocks, bottles, fighting with sticks, breathing tear gas and all that shit you see in movies. Lazy fuck I am I nearly did not make it breathing-wise, but I do not know what happened, but I gave it all.

It was best three hours of my life. Not happy actually, but just empty and with a one single purpose. It was good, like nirvana or something. Just empty, clear minded and without any stress.
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>>26082155
Yea this. Mostly before I was fully self aware.
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>>26082210
whatever. I'll be a wizard soon.
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I was truly happy for 3 minutes once when I was 20, stuck me in the middle of the day. I was just at total peace for somehow, and I yearn for that moment everyday. I remember not being afraid or sad when I was with my first love if that counts as happiness.
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even elliot was happy at one time
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High school. Used to go over to my friends house every weekend and we would play vidya and eat snacks all day then when it would get dark we would go out and walk all around the town and explore, listening to music while we walked all night. The whole school week I'd be thinking about the upcoming weekend and how fun it was gonna be.

Seriously like way simpler times when I had absolutely nothing to stress about. Now I'm a wageslave and everything is awful.
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i guess sometime around 2008 when i was 13, it all went downhill since then. im 21 now and if it wasnt for the fear of the pain while committing suicide i would be dead by now
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>>26082320
Are you me? You mean THAT 2008 year when Red Wings won Stanley Cup, when air was so fresh and you was full of no giving a shit about anything and was finding joy in every small things?
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>>26081903
Around 2008-2009. I was 17, really into Black Metal, went into a lot of underground gigs, and the entire thing felt so exciting and fun. I didn't have any problems at school, and used to play Metal at the music room during breaks with drummer friend, who would sneak in beer once in a while. Every day after school I would go into my room, shut all the lights, lie in bed, think about my oneitis and listen to Blut Aus Nord until I fell into hazy sleep. Shit was so comfy.

Black Metal stopped being exciting about two years later, but it was a great place to be at the time. I felt confident and careless.
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Summer 2013. Was about to graduate uni and my buddy was hooking me up with $1 oxys
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>>26081903

I don't know, I guess I was pretty happy the last time I jacked off. I was also happy when I got a good grade last semester. I'm not often very happy. I just don't have a lot to be happy about.
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>>26082810
>oxys

My nigga
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