You're uncomfortable all the time, you have no friends, the mere thought of social interaction terrifies you. You spend days putting off writing a simple email, something a normal person could do in two minutes without a second thought. Everyone around you, even if they're not happy, at least has the luxury of being able to walk down the street without feeling like everyone is staring and laughing at them, or the luxury of going into a store without first staking it out on Google Maps so you know where to enter, where to stand, and where to pay. You flinch when people laugh near you and immediately assume they're laughing at you because you're a meek, pathetic loser.
At night, when you go to sleep, you hold a pillow close to your body and pretend it's a cute girl who loves you despite your mental illness, and this is sad because you know she'll never be real. The best shot at happiness you have is becoming so insane that you delude yourself into thinking the fantasies in your head are real, because, let's face it, you're never going to find happiness in the real world, not with the way you are. People tell you to "just be yourself" but you're literally incapable of doing so around others. You know you can sometimes be a funny, charming person--it comes out, once in a blue moon, on a really good day--and this makes you feel even worse, because the rest of your life is spent chasing something that just won't come. Everyone around you is living on a completely different plane of existence while you're here, alone and scared.
Though you know this is all in your head (and though others tell you it's not real at all, a meme disorder), you're unable to do anything about it. You mask the pain with shallow distractions but the future looms ahead regardless, foreboding and without promise. You will die alone and unloved, having accomplished nothing. People around you make memories, start families, do things, live lives. And all you can do is watch and feel like shit.
Normally I don't read these but for this one I did. It describes me perfectly.
I don't have any of these problems.
The also sad but true thing is no one cares about you or is judging you, they are too busy thinking about their own problems.
The police have done tests where they stage an armed robbery and then ask people to describe the gunman and they find every time that eyewitnesses are extremely unreliable and they can't even tell you if he was black or white or wearing a red or blue jacket.
A normie will not even take note of you if you are literally holding a gun to someones head, that's how unobservant the average person is.
Kinda sad how much I relate with this.
dont make this a new pasta please
Sometimes I feel like I'm unique and then I read shit like this.
>>26072836
Fuck. Damnit, this is me. Not even just relating to it, I do all of the things in this.
>>26072836
well at least youre a good writer OP
>>26072836
HOW DO THEY MAKE FRIENDS SO EASILY
IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR
I want to change. I want to stop being so afraid.
But it's so easy to chicken out. If I go through with things, I'll embarrass myself and they'll hate me and think I'm dumb and not want to be around me.
Whenever I get sad, I watch these videos and suddenly feel a lot better
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVmVr-4Y6M4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAsihgpbpsc
>>26072836
fuck
this is way too accurate, nearly everything is exactly how I am
It hurts
At least I have my degree to work toward, so maybe I might accomplish something
although I doubt it
I can't even talk to people online
it's pain
>Used to have severe anxiety
>Now I just have occasional mild panic attacks
>Life is no better because I still see no point in real life
>>26073534
>near black out drunk
>in a hotel room alone
>can't chat with strangers on Omegle
>not even through text
I don't think there's a way for us to live and be happy at the same time senpai.
>>26073534
i feel anxious everytime i reply to post, i rarely do it
i think i did my first reply after 3 years of lurking; in more than 8 years of 4chan i never created a thread and probably will never try
>>26073721
4chan is the only place I feel comfortable posting because of its anonymity
plus, everything 404s so if I embarrass myself I can just hide the thread and pretend it didn't happen
>>26072836
Well said, Op.
I do hate when people use Shinji for these types of threads though. He ended up having everything handed to him. His father put him in the eva program which granted him a sense of power and approval. Misato went out of her way to take care of him and help him progress. People in his school decided to befriend him on their own volition. Asuka kisses him. All in all, he didn't have it that bad off.
I dont have these problems
Lmaoing @ your pathetic life
>get described perfectly by a random 4chan post about pathetic losers
I should kill myself, right? I mean, it doesn't get much worse than literally being a meme.
>>26073828
But he still manages to fuck everything up.
>>26073828
They only value him for the Eva program. He only got friends because he saved their lives. Misato feels bad for him (probably only because he is so young), and Asuka wants to trap him as a source of narcissistic praise.
Put that in with his emotional damage, Oedipus Complex, and possible autism, then, yeah, he has it pretty bad, he has just gotten an incredibly stroke of luck.
Also:
>Kaji literally had to set him up with Asuka
>>26072836
This thread hit too close to home.
Feels bad man.
>>26073862
Not really. He ended up in a decent situation and helped save Japan.
>>26073924
He has much more than your typical robot thanks to the turn of events and luck.
>>26074000
Nice trips.
Thing is, he doesn't even realize what he has. His state of mind is that everyone hates him, and, as a result, he hates himself. I mean, hell, he even stutters when talking to his dad. He couldn't even kiss a girl while she was asleep, and has like three mental breakdowns over the course of the show.
>>26073843
this is about the thought process i had after reading as well
I wish I could just wipe my brain and start over
I don't need to retain anything from this life, it's all junk
>>26074102
Despite all his faults he still gets all those things. He has something instead of nothing even if he still doesn't realize it, which he finally does in the end.
>>26074248
It literally takes angels and God to make him happy.
I'd also like to point out that EoE (the originally planned ending) is a lot more ambiguous, and he only stops Instrumentality because he finds he is even more lonely as part of a collective consciousness.
Also, he gets visibly angry when he sees a couple in a movie theater. Come on, that is Elliot-tier.
>>26074314
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he doesn't have his problems. I'm saying it's annoying to see him in depression posts because he gets all the things that robots are lacking.
>>26074595
Like I said, I am not sure getting a lucky kiss is really everything robots are lacking. He never gets a relationship out of it, he loses all his friends, Misato dies (just like his real mother), and his father still hates him. If anything, he has it worse off than most robots.
Plus, he resents women immensely, though that is more hinted at than outright stated.
>>26074628
are you guyz seruously talking about chinesse drawings like they were real?
top fucking zoz
>>26074787
GTFO, normie faggot. Go back to watching Rick and Morty or something.
>>26074890
oh come off it, he's dicking around.
>>26073828
>All in all, he didn't have it that bad off
>>26074628
He's still young and has was able to actually have an impact on the world, make friendships and have people care for him. That's a lot more than I've ever gotten at nearly double his age.
>>26075367
I'd trade places with him.
>>26075837
But he was still never able to get what he desired, just like us. Plus, again, he doesn't know that, and actively denies it.
I just think saying that someone who tries to kill himself four episodes in, gets the shit beaten out of him 3 episodes in, and has no fewer than 3 mental breakdowns shouldn't be used to show depression is a little silly. Even though we may judge his life as being halfway decent, he doesn't. Likewise, there are people who would say we have it pretty good, and Shinji would probably be one of those.
>>26075837
I fucking wouldn't are you kidding? Having to pilot my mom's soul in an artificial proto human and fight terrifying destructive creatures while also living with used goods and and a literal psychotic with mommy issues
>>26075920
It's all subjective in the end and there's no true right answer. He goes through the trauma that a lot of robots too, but he also got benefits that many of us never will. I think he has it better off, you don't. No harm in that.
>>26075937
>not wanting to be an eva pilot to either accomplish something great or have chance to die and end it all
>>26076056
>not wanting to be an eva pilot to either accomplish something great or have chance to die and end it all
That is what the entire show is about, that he doesn't want to do it because it only makes him feel more empty inside than he already did because he feels that that is his only reason for living.
